Laws of Motion
by Poledra182
Summary: Hypothermia starts out as nothing. Your body temperature drops a couple of degrees, you become confused, and tired. Your body starts to devote its energy to the core functions. Without treatment, your brain will stop functioning, your heart will slow down, and eventually you'll die. Riley attempts to move on from Lucas and finds it a lot like hypothermia.
1. Stone Cold

_Riley drops a bag of her things onto the kitchen table and takes in her new living space for the first time. The carriage house is a single room that contains all the basic necessities for the life. The bathroom is a little small, but the clawed footed tub more than makes up for it and she figures she can find a vanity to make up for the lack of counter space. A small kitchen rests in one corner; complete with fridge, oven, and a porcelain sink, and an old antique table rests in a nook beside a window._

 _"_ _Are you sure you want to live here?" Maya asks, wrinkling her nose as she takes in the layers of dust._

 _"_ _I am completely, positively sure that this is where I want to be," Riley replies, flipping on the light and returning to the car for another box._

 _"_ _It's just an awfully long way from the city," Maya continues, trailing along behind her best friend._

 _"_ _It's a new experience, an adventure," Riley corrects her, grabbing a box filled with her clothes and turning back towards the house._

 _"_ _You don't even have a bed," Maya points out, her optimism waning as Riley refuses to be talked out of her plans. Riley has it on good authority that she has been told to talk Riley out of this using any means necessary._

 _"_ _Roy says that there's one at the house he'll bring down," Riley informs her, adding her box to the stack._

 _"_ _You're moving to a place with people named_ Roy _, don't you see anything wrong with that?" Maya asks, letting her own box drop to the floor with a loud thump._

 _"_ _No, I do not and be careful, there are breakable things in some of these," Riley chastises, moving over to check the box for damage._

 _"_ _It's not like you brought your mother's fine china," Maya rolls her eyes, sinking into the old wooden rocking chair and coughing as she sends up a wave of dust._

 _"_ _I did bring my framed medical license," Riley groans, holding up the cracked frame._

 _"_ _You're not going to last six months out here, Riles. There are outlaws and hoedowns and I'm pretty sure I saw campaign posters for town coroner on our drive in," Maya waves her hands, a diamond engagement ring sparkling, even in the muted light._

 _The ring reminds Riley of the pit that's been hanging out in her stomach for the past six months, years if she wanted to be honest with herself, and she resists the urge to move a hand to her chest to check for the aching wound that has yet to heal. The basics of first aid says that you keep stacking layers on a wound and don't remove them until a professional can manage the bleeding. Unfortunately, in her case, the layers she's been packing on the shredded remains of her heart, just keep adding up._

 _"_ _There are a lot of opportunities here," Riley forces herself to focus, keeping her eyes trained on the box of pictures that Maya has allowed to shatter on the ground._

 _"_ _You may be amazed by this, but there are people having babies in New York, too," Maya points out, her sarcasm familiar and oddly comforting._

 _"_ _Peaches, I love you, but I need to do this for me," Riley says gently, leaving out that she can't be around when Maya becomes one of them._

 _"_ _There isn't a bay window here," Maya observes as she glances around the room._

 _"_ _We left the bay window behind a long time ago," Riley reminds her._

 _"_ _How are you supposed to be my maid of honor from halfway across the country?" Maya continues and Riley shoves the box under the table letting her eyes trail along the hardwood floors._

 _"_ _I'm the voice in your head, right? Even though I'm not there, I'll always be right beside you," Riley promises her._

 _"_ _It's just, not the same," Maya sighs and Riley can't help, but silently agree. Everything has changed and Riley doesn't think that they can ever go back._

"Doctor Mathews," a voice snapped her out of her memory and her attention turned to the door of her office.

"Sorry, Blake, I'm a little out of it," Riley apologized, dropping the envelope onto her desk and straightening her lab coat.

"Marsha's just here for her appointment," Blake informed her, hesitating on the edge of her doorway, "Are you feeling okay?"

"When is it that people die from hypothermia?" Riley asked, pulling her hair into a ponytail as she moved out of the room.

"When they're body temperature drops and they can't recover," Blake suggested, looking at her as though she had somehow lost her mind.

"It's when they stop moving; when they decide to sit down and die," Riley corrected him, putting hand sanitizer on her hands and grabbing the chart from outside of the room.

"You think you have hypothermia?" Blake asked her skeptically, his eyes trailing over her.

"For a minute, I stopped moving," Riley replied, ducking into her patient's room and leaving Blake to ponder her words.

The envelope sits in the middle of her desk, looking entirely out of the place, around the organized office supplies. Riley knew that she had become obsessively tidy over the last little while and she pretends that this is why the envelope sitting in the middle of her desk bothers her so much.

She had updated Marsha's file and even spent a good five minutes staring at the single ultrasound photo that Marsha had accidentally left behind. She had then proceeded to replace Marsha's file in her cabinet and pulled everything that she would need for the next day. She'd restocked the exam rooms, despite it being a part of Blake's job, and sorted all of the magazines in the waiting room. Unfortunately, the envelope was still waiting; the fluorescent lights reflecting off of the glossy white paper and standing out against the dark wood of her desk.

"Blake says you've been having an off day," Roy knocked on her door, leaning into her office. He was wearing his own white coat and a nice suit that brought out the blue of his eyes.

"Do you believe that someone can be the love of your life, even if you don't end up with them?" Riley asked, looking up at him as though he held all of the answers.

"When I was seventeen, I met Laura Hansen. She had family in the area and was just spending the summer. I was convinced that the sun rose and set on that girl. It may have been the single best summer of my youth," Roy replied, entering the room and sinking down in the chair across from her.

"What happened?" Riley asked, leaning forward.

"She went home and we lost touch. The next time I saw her, I was married to my Nora," he replied, his eyes distant.

"And you could see everything that could have been, running on a reel in your head?" Riley pressed when he didn't immediately go on.

"For a long time Laura was the standard that I held every relationship up to, but one day I realized that if it didn't last, it wasn't nearly as great as I had made it out to be. Nora gave me three beautiful children and twenty-eight wonderful years together. Part of being the love of someone's life is that your time together is filled with a lot of life," he replied, giving her a gentle smile.

"Shouldn't it count if you spend a lot of your life loving them, even if they don't love you back?" Riley questioned as she processed his words.

"You still have an awful lot of life left to live. I wouldn't rule out finding your Nora just yet," he counseled her, rising from the chair, "Are you going to leave soon?"

"I just have a couple more things to do and then I'll head home," Riley replied, her eyes drifting back to the dreaded envelope.

"Alright, make sure to lock up before you go," he smiled, leaning over the desk to squeeze her hand before he disappeared from the room.

Riley grabbed her letter opener from the top drawer and eased it under the flap of the envelope. Carefully sliding it across it, she made a perfect incision and set down the opener before she emptied the contents. The first thing to slide out was a picture that made her breath catch in her throat.

Maya stood wrapped in the arms of her fiancé. They both wore red flannel and they appeared to be standing in a meadow somewhere. Her engagement ring was visible from where she was resting her hands on top of his and they both smiled dazzlingly at the camera. There was something about the picture that seemed posed and not as natural as Riley thought an engagement photo should be, but she shook it off, turning the picture over so that she didn't have to look at their smiles anymore.

She pulled out the next paper and found the invitation, which was written out in delicate calligraphy. The words seemed to burn themselves into her mind, but she forced herself to read them anyway, needing to feel the door slam in her face before she could move on.

 _Maya Penelope Heart, daughter of Shawn and Katie Hunter, is pleased to announce her marriage to Lucas Friar, son of Travis and Rebecca Friar. Scheduled for…_

The words blurred together as tears gathered in her eyes and she allowed several of them to fall before she placed the invitation over the picture. She knew there was one last thing in the envelope and she figured that she might as well get everything out in the open at once. Reaching inside of the envelope she found a carefully folded letter, with her name written on it. She would know the handwriting anywhere, but it didn't matter anymore. She shoved everything into her top drawer and grabbed her purse from under her desk as she got up to leave for the day.

She paused once, in the bathroom, to fix her mascara and check that her eyes hadn't become red and puffy from crying. Slipping out of her lab coat, she hung it on the hook next to Roys' and locked the practice door behind her.

"Doctor Mathews, you're looking awfully nice tonight," a voice called from across the street and she raised an eyebrow, Liam Vaughn was nothing but trouble.

"Considering I've seen the standards that you have, I'm not sure that I take that as a compliment," Riley replied, unlocking her car and tossing her purse inside.

"I don't suppose I could interest you in a drink," he ignored her brush-off, crossing the street and stopping in front of her.

"It smells like you've already had one," she replied, wrinkling her nose.

"It's one of those nights where I wouldn't mind another," he said, his tone become oddly sincere.

"While, I can definitely relate to that, I don't drink," Riley replied, crossing her arms across her chest as a gust of wind hit her.

"Right, your health and all that," he smiled and she couldn't help but return it.

"I _do_ have to set an example," she sighed.

"Well, I'll drink to your liver," he suggested.

"The vital organ that doesn't feel chewed up and spit out at the moment," she mused, enjoying the conversation more then she would have any other night.

"You want to know the best cure for a broken heart?" he asked, oddly intuitive in his inebriated state.

"Lay it on me," she said, leaning against her open door.

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers, and she froze in shock for several moments, before her hands hesitantly wound around his neck. She could hear Roy's words echoing through her head, as she felt Liam's hands moving from her face down to her waist to pull her closer.

She spent a good thirty seconds convinced she was in the midst of an epiphany, until another face flashed through her mind and she was suddenly hit with images of a subway car and another kiss that had been full of promise. She gently pushed him away and the two gasped for air in the pale moonlight.

"I'll see you around, Doc," he smirked, moving down the street without a backwards glance.

"Great," she groaned, letting her head hit the outside frame of her car, "I've reached complete and utter insanity."

 **So, this is my first attempt at a _Girl Meets World_** ** _fanfiction. I do plan to eventually have it be a Riley/Lucas and probably Maya/Josh story, but it will be slow building. I really want to explore the different relationships and characters that are so important to the show and how, I believe, that they would have evolved and changed over time. I would love it if you would leave me a review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!_**


	2. Still Here

Riley pressed her fingers to the pulse point of the unconscious teenager and felt the erratic rhythm, letting out a groan as the symptoms started to form a picture in her head.

"Is Hailey going to be okay?" Monique, the one who called her, asked, gripping her friend's hand tightly.

"How long has she been unconscious for?" Riley questioned, taking note of the pale skin and the low body temperature.

"I called you when she passed out," Monique replied, biting her lip, nervously.

"What was she doing before she passed out?" Riley asked, already strongly suspecting the answer.

"Doctor Mathews, can't you just fix her?" Monique pleads, running one hand through her dark hair. She's a pretty girl, with tanned skin and manicured fingernails, but Riley has the feeling that she gets into more trouble than people suspect her of.

"Did you know that hypothermia is a symptom of alcohol poisoning?" Riley questioned, folding her arms as she stared the girl down. She was channeling her inner Topanga and hoping that it somehow led to a confession.

"You can't tell my parents," Monique wailed, her eyes growing wider.

"Why were you drinking in the middle of the day?" Riley asked, pulling out her phone to call for back up.

"We were at Tommy's house, skipping a couple of periods. You were young once, didn't you ever just want to do something crazy, something that makes you feel alive? Nothing ever happens here," Monique explained, trying to get Riley to understand.

 _A light dusting of snow covers most of the city, glistening against the multi-colored lights. It looks magical enough that she can almost forget, for a moment, that her life isn't the fairytale that she had always hoped it would be. It's beautiful enough to make her want to believe in a dazzling and bright future, even if it is far beyond the outlines of skyscrapers and even the stars themselves._

 _She knows that he's pulling away. She can feel the way the monotony is turning what they have into something mundane and ordinary. He craves the excitement, and it's something that, try though she might, she cannot give to him._

 _"_ _There's a party this weekend," he informs her, the next day, leaning casually against the locker next to hers._

 _"_ _I have a ton of homework," she offers noncommittedly, trying to avoid having him accuse her of another moral lesson. She can't help, but find something funny in the way his once unwavering moral compass has become skewed among the new environment of high school. His identity is slipping between two different people and she's having trouble seeing him clearly among the double-image._

 _"_ _Maya will be there," he offers, giving her the smile that had once made her want to follow him to the ends of the earth._

 _"_ _I don't know," she says, biting her lip and thinking of the number of things that could go wrong._

 _"_ _We can leave if you aren't having a good time," he promises her, taking her hand as the bell rings for class._

 _"_ _Okay," she agrees, not ready for him to let go._

 _She spends the entire party glued to his side, feeling as though she's watching herself from another perspective. There's drinking going on and couples disappearing into dark corners. There's laughter and dancing; music blaring loud enough to eliminate any real conversation. Someone has strung strands of Christmas lights across the roof-top and she can't help, but think that it's every bit as stunning as the snow-covered view she had glimpsed, not that long ago._

 _The atmosphere is enough to make someone feel alive, but as the night progresses the illusion starts to thin and she sees the cracks in the edges. Nothing on the roof is real and while the others seek out something to make them feel alive, the same things feel as though they are slowly killing her._

 _She holds Maya's hair as she throws-up in a patch of shrubbery, unconsciously rubbing her back and murmuring soothing words. She knows that Lucas is in better shape, although his eyes are slightly unfocused and he seems to be putting a fair amount of his weight on her. She hadn't seen him drink all night and she finds herself wondering how he managed it with her by his side._

 _"_ _Did you have fun, Riles?" Lucas asks as Maya finishes and she ushers them in the direction of home._

 _"_ _Did you?" she counters skeptically, narrowly avoiding tripping on the sidewalk and taking both of them down with her._

 _Maya's next bout of queasiness interrupts their conversation and Riley finds that her shoes are suddenly damp and discolored. The smell is enough to make her want to gag and she hesitantly starts breathing in air through her mouth._

 _The hardest part of watching the people around her change is feeling as though she has remained the same. Her illusions of the knight in shining armor die out day by day as Lucas's flaws come to the surface and she is finally forced to face them. She can't help, but wonder how many of her own he is facing himself. There's something in the way that he looks at her now that she can only name as_ disappointment.

"How did that work out for you?" Riley questioned, forcing herself out of the unwanted memory.

The phone continues to ring and she starts to worry that Blake is on his lunch break when he finally answers, "Health clinic."

"You know we're a private practice, right?" Riley corrected him.

"Harding and Mathews is a mouthful," Blake protested, "And I'm a nurse, not a receptionist."

"Well, I need you to be a nurse and come help me with a case of alcohol poisoning outside of the high school," Riley informed him.

"You are aware that you're an OB/GYN, right?" Blake asked and Riley resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"I went to medical school before I specialized and went through an internship in an ER, I know alcohol poisoning," Riley snapped, her patience wearing thin.

"You're in a bad mood. I'll see you in five," he promises, hanging up the phone.

"You can't let Doctor Harding see her like this," Monique protests as soon as she sets the phone down.

"I can't just _not_ tell Doctor Harding that his daughter has alcohol poisoning. She's going to need an IV and constant monitoring, not to mention she'll be in his practice," Riley groaned, checking for a pulse again.

"Can't you take her to a hospital?" Monique suggested.

"They can't treat her without parental consent and it's a two hour drive away. You made a bad decision and now you have to live with the consequences," Riley informed her, regretting the tone in her voice the minute it came out of her mouth.

"I called you because you're supposed to be cool," Monique huffed, "I didn't think you would judge us."

"I'm sorry that I snapped at you, I'm having an off week," Riley forced herself to calm down, "But I could lose my license, not to mention my place in the practice, if I don't do things the right way."

"I don't know why you want to be here so bad. I would kill to live somewhere like New York," Monique sighed.

Riley could see Blake pulling up and was relieved that she could let the conversation drop before it went somewhere that she didn't want it to go.

"It's not all you would expect it to be," Riley answered her, moving so that Blake could help her load the unconscious girl.

"Roy is going to kill you," Blake said gleefully as they loaded Hailey into the back of his car.

"I didn't give his daughter alcohol poisoning," Riley pointed out, sliding in to sit with Hailey. Monique climbed into the front seat, although she looked entirely unsure about her decision. Her eyes kept flickering back towards the school.

"Oh, I meant to tell you, someone called for you earlier," Blake said, as he got into the driver's seat.

"Did you have them schedule an appointment?" Riley asked, surprised that he was mentioning it to her. He usually just wrote her appointments on the calendar that hung just inside of her office.

"They weren't a patient, at least I don't think they were. I didn't realize you were branching out from women's health," he gave her a pointed look through the rearview mirror.

"This was a favor, it's a small town. What did they want?" Riley pressed, interested all of the sudden.

"They wanted me to tell you that you need to stop ignoring your friends and families phone calls and that Maya won't get married without you," he said, reciting the words as though he's taken the time to memorize them.

"You went on a humanitarian trip, didn't you?" Riley asked, resisting the urge to put her head in her hands.

"9 months with Doctors Without Borders, why?" Blake replied, surprised at the sudden turn in the conversation.

"Were your friends and family able to find you there? Because apparently the middle of Wyoming isn't nearly remote enough," Riley complained.

"I told you that you shouldn't set up a website for the practice," Blake reminded her, "We should have just kept sending out those cute little magnets with our number."

"That website is the only thing keeping them from descending on this town like a herd of locusts. I've given them plenty of communication channels before they decide to invade," Riley replied, nearly falling out of her seat as they came to an abrupt stop outside of the building.

"A group of locusts, isn't a herd; you can call them a plague, a cloud, or a swarm," Monique spoke up from the front seat.

"Your family can't possibly be a plague," Blake pointed out, coming around to open the door.

"They can when they think I'm ignoring their calls. Who was on the phone, anyway?" Riley enquired.

"He had a weird name that sounded made up. I think I wrote it down somewhere," Blake replied, pulling the girl into his arms as Riley moved to open the practice door.

"Farkle?" Riley suggested, as she moved ahead to open an exam room.

"That sounds right," Blake agreed, setting her onto the table and going to retrieve an IV bag.

"What's going on?" Roy demanded as he paused outside of the door, "What happened?"

"You want to tell him, Monique?" Riley suggested, trying to keep her voice gentle.

"We were drinking, Doctor Harding," Monique admitted, her eyes downcast.

"You think she has alcohol poisoning?" Roy turned his attention to Riley, his face expressionless.

"I do," Riley agreed, resisting the urge to act as uncomfortable as the teenager in front of her.

"I want to know where you got the alcohol from and we'll be heading down to the sheriff's office, as soon as I'm sure that Hailey is stable," Roy snapped, disappearing from the room. Riley winced as a door slammed from down the hallway.

"My parents are going to kill me," Monique groaned, sinking down into a seat along the wall.

"Only because they care," Riley pointed out, stepping aside as Blake returned to the room.

"How long until she's back to normal?" Monique asked, watching as Blake started the IV and went over her vital signs.

"When she gets all of the alcohol out of her system," Riley replied

Her long day, turns into an exhausting night, as she holds Hailey's hair, while she throws up until the early hours of the morning. Her father is too upset to do much more then watch them from the doorway before disappearing down the hallway again.

Monique's parents picked her up after the sheriff finished writing up an incident report and Riley gets the feeling that the two teens aren't the only ones who will be dealing with the police. Meanwhile, Blake falls asleep at his desk a little after midnight and Riley doesn't have the heart to wake him, though she knows he's going to have an awfully stiff neck the next morning.

"Riley?" Hailey asked, looking up at her with tired eyes.

"Yes?" Riley snapped awake, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and probably smearing most of her make up in the process. She had just been resting her eyes, but it had turned to dozing off.

"Are you upset with me?"

"Not nearly as upset as your Dad is," Riley replied, shifting so that she could look out into the hall. She couldn't see Roy in the darkness, but that didn't mean he wasn't there.

"Why is it that you can know that you're doing something wrong and still do it anyway?" Hailey rolled onto her side and her blonde hair seemed to shimmer in the moonlight. For a second, Riley was reminded of another blonde.

"When I was in eighth grade I snuck out of my parents' house to go to a party," Riley revealed, "I knew it was wrong, but I didn't want my best friend to go by herself."

"That sounds familiar," Hailey admitted, "So, did you get caught?"

"No, we both had a really good time and at the end of the night my uncle walked us home. My brother and my uncle knew that I had been out, but neither of them were going to tell on me," Riley revealed, smiling at the memory.

"There's got to be a moral in there somewhere," Hailey pointed out and Riley let out a laugh.

"It was my best friend who told my parents, which I think was a big deal for her. She wanted to act more grown up," Riley revealed.

"So, what you're saying is," Hailey trailed off as she tried to put the pieces together.

"Sometimes we do really stupid things, but we just have to do our best to learn from it and try to make better choices in the future," Riley offered.

They lapsed into silence as Hailey mulled over her words, "Was that really the last time you ever snuck out?"

"Sort of, I told a lot of half-truths to my parents in high school to do things that I knew they wouldn't approve of," Riley admitted.

"I don't think you're supposed to tell me that," Hailey pointed out.

"You're almost done with high school, I think you can handle knowing that I've made plenty of my own mistakes," Riley smiled, pulling her legs up to her chest.

"You turned out okay," Hailey said, shifting returning to her position on her back, "What happened to your best friend?"

The question was an afterthought and it hit Riley harder then what it should have. It had been such a long time since she had considered the good memories of her adolescence, that she was entirely unprepared for being struck with how far they had come since then.

"She's an amazing artist, in New York," Riley offered when she finally managed to gain her composure. She was convinced that Hailey had drifted off by then, but Hailey's head rose up for a few seconds before she dropped it back onto the table.

"Does it get any easier, watching them grow away from you?" the question took Riley off guard and it took her several heartbeats before she could answer.

"After a while, it hurts just enough for you to go numb," Riley sighed.

Her only response was Hailey's heavy and measured breathing.

 **I want to thank everyone who took the time to review, favorite, follow, etc. I have never gotten this big of a response for a story and I hope that I can live up to your expectations. I usually like to respond to all of the reviews that I get, but this is the middle of finals week and I've come down with an awful cold; so I figured I would focus my limited time and energy on getting you this chapter. In the future, I will do my best to respond to each review individually, just know that I am incredibly grateful.**

 **So, this story started out as a one shot (appropriately called** _**Hypothermia**_ ** _)_** **and it focused pretty heavily on what happened previously to this story. About eight pages into it, I realized that to do this story justice, it really needed to be told in multiple chapters. That is why the first part of this story will contain some flashbacks showing them growing up and making the decisions that get them to the point they're at right now. This story also takes place in Wyoming and I know that some people were hoping that it took place in Texas. I figured that Riley is unconsciously holding onto Lucas enough to go to somewhere that reminds her of him, but she's also trying to hold herself together and I don't think that she could do that in his home state.**

 **Things will start to pick up in the next chapter, as someone from Riley's past comes into town (Someone that you will recognize) and we get to see Riley actually do her job. Sorry, this note is so ridiculously long! Thank you for reading and please review! I love hearing all of your ideas!**


	3. Beating Heart

When Maya moved to SoHo they had developed a system for phone calls. Maya was allowed to miss five of Riley's calls before she had to pick up. Unfortunately, Riley was now forced into the same system, which was how she found herself looking at wedding dresses.

"The halter one is you, Maya," Riley offered as she looked through the photos on her email. She was sprawled on the antique bed in her carriage house, still wearing the floral A-line skirt and the matching green, satin blouse from work that day. At some point her shirt had come untucked and stray hairs were falling out of the loose braid that she had put her hair in, but Riley ignored the comfortable, flannel pajamas waiting for her and scrolled through the pictures that Maya had sent her.

"I know, but Lucas was on his phone the entire time I was in it. The only time he looked even partially interested was when we pulled the lace, ball gown," Maya replied, her annoyance evident, even on the phone.

"It has a chapel train. You hate long trains," Riley pointed out, clicking to the next picture; as she adjusted the phone she had balanced between her ear and shoulder.

"I know, but maybe it doesn't matter what I wear, as long as his eyes light up when he sees me coming down the aisle," Maya suggested.

"His eyes should light up regardless of what you wear," Riley reminded her, "And who takes their fiancé to help pick out their wedding dress?"

"I just wanted him to be a part of things. It's been his mother and me planning everything since he got me the ring," Maya informed her, and Riley could easily picture the worried look that would be on Maya's face, "Plus, isn't it fitting that I wear a chapel train when I get married in a chapel."

"I thought you didn't want a church wedding," Riley said, shifting onto her back as she finished flipping through the pictures.

"I don't, but it's what his mother wants and she has shown me some beautiful venues that I think I could grow into liking," Maya responded.

"You shouldn't have to grow into anything, it should be about what you and Lucas," she choked on his name, "Want."

"Did you get a chance to look at the bridesmaid dresses?" Maya abruptly changed the subject.

"I glanced over them," Riley lied, pulling her lap top over to search for the email.

"I saw the purple one and it screamed you," Maya said and Riley quickly pulled up the picture. Unfortunately, it was something that Riley would love to wear and she wanted so badly to hate everything about this wedding.

It was a V-neck dress, with short sleeves, in a deep grape color. Not only was it formal, but it also looked incredibly comfortable and she didn't need to try it on to know that it would look amazing with her skin tone.

"It's beautiful," Riley admitted.

"You need to fly out here so that you can try it on," Maya insisted.

"I'm just so busy at work," Riley hedged, wanting to avoid an argument. Maya had yet to give up on Riley moving back to New York and they rarely had a conversation where it wasn't brought up multiple times.

"I know, Riles, but this is my wedding and I need you," Maya insisted, "You know that if it was you, I would be there in a heartbeat."

"It is most definitely not me," Riley groaned. She could hear the sound of a door opening and closing in the background.

"Come on, there isn't a hot cowboy of your own, out there," Maya pressed and Riley was relieved that she wasn't going to push it.

"I'm just not sure that I'm the marrying type," Riley offered and Maya let out a laugh.

"You've had your wedding planned since you were four years old, just because you haven't found your Lucas, doesn't mean that you should give up," Maya protested. Riley nearly laughed because the problem was that she _had_ found Lucas.

"I'm actually thinking about artificial insemination," Riley admitted and was treated to several minutes of tense silence.

"Really?" Maya finally choked out.

"I'm running out of time, Maya, and I want a baby," she replied.

"And you're going to be a great mom, but don't you think that your child deserves a father?" Maya asked, her voice going hard.

"It's not like I don't have the money to care for a child and there are plenty of great male role-models in my life. You turned out okay," Riley reminded her, trying not to be annoyed at the immediate judgement.

"That doesn't mean that I wouldn't have wanted a steady father in my life, Riles. My mother did her best, but it wasn't the same," Maya insisted.

"So, I don't deserve to be a mother because my romantic life is a mess?" Riley asked and the line went silent.

"You're the person who is always so full of hope, this feels like you're just giving up on finding love," Maya said, though Riley knew that there were about a million other things that Maya wanted to add.

"Not giving up, just adjusting my expectations. Hope isn't going to keep me from aging and hope isn't going to get me pregnant," Riley pointed out.

"If you were to do this, would you come home?" Maya asked and Riley wanted to groan in frustration that every road of conversation always led back to this.

"There are some amazing fertility specialists in Seattle and in LA," Riley said, wincing as Maya took several more minutes to come up with something to say.

"And there are some great ones in New York. Lucas, tell Riley that if she's going to have a baby, she should come home," Maya said and Riley could hear the shifting of Maya's cell phone.

"You're pregnant?" Lucas's voice suddenly came over the phone and for a second Riley's heart stopped beating.

"Not that I know of," she finally recovered, forcing herself to take even breaths.

"Riley," she'd forgotten how much she enjoyed hearing her name come out of his mouth.

There were several seconds of complete silence, where Riley could feel everything that had ever existed between them. She had never known that missing someone could be so physically painful, but the pain of being away from him was almost as painful as the pain of her broken heart.

"But you want to be," he stated, and for a second Riley could almost pretend that he sounded hurt by the idea.

"I have to go," Riley said, knowing that she should just hang up, but unable to physically force herself to.

"You deserve to be happy," he offered and she was surprised by the wave of hostility she suddenly felt towards him. He didn't get to tell her what she deserved and he didn't get to comment on her happiness. Not when he hadn't cared about it in such a long time.

Riley ended the call, letting the phone fall to the bed and pulling her knees up to her chest. She sat that way for a long time, waiting until she was capable of pulling herself back together.

Someone tried calling her back from Maya's phone, but Riley ignored it, going into the bathroom to brush her teeth. It had been almost six months since she had talked to Lucas and the sound of his voice was enough to open up the wounds she had been doing a pretty good job of ignoring.

She tossed and turned most of the night, getting up earlier then what she normally would have, and sitting on the steps to her house with a cup of herbal tea. There were horses grazing in the field and she couldn't help, but hope for a busy day. She tried to avoid C-sections at all costs, but she would kill for the distraction today.

She waited until an hour before she needed to be at work to go and shower.

"You look…..different," Blake offered when she entered the office.

"Long night," she replied flatly, moving into her office and closing the door behind her.

She usually liked to leave her door open and she would tease Blake about whatever date he had been on the night before. He was a serial dater with a fear of commitment and Riley was incredibly grateful that he was way too young for her.

She went over her patient's charts for the day, trying to ignore the sound of Blake talking to Roy about her from directly outside of her office door. He could be a lot like Zay sometimes and Riley got the feeling that the two would get along really well. She could see them cruising the town, picking up girls and saying exactly the wrong thing.

"Heather's here," Blake announced as he knocked on her door.

"Thanks," Riley called, pulling on her lab coat as she moved out into the hall.

She didn't get a C-section, but Blake had packed her day full of appointments and when things started to slow down she started stealing Roy's patients. She knew she would probably hear about it later, but Riley couldn't be held responsible for not answering Maya's calls if she was with people desperately in need of medical attention.

"I would kill for a bar fight," Riley announced, after their office hours had closed, and she was hovering over Blake's shoulder as he did paperwork. She knew it was annoying him, but he did technically work under her supervision.

"You don't seem like a very good fighter," Blake observed, grabbing his papers and moving to the other side of the reception desk.

"I want to stitch someone up," she corrected him, sitting on the area of desk that he had just vacated.

"Doctor Mathews," Roy said, pausing on his way out the door.

"Yes, Doctor Harding?" Riley returned, knowing that he only called her by her title when she was going to get in trouble for something.

"I wasn't aware that half of my patients were in need of a women's health specialist. I can only assume that you must be on the brink of a medical breakthrough, seeing as most of them were men," Roy observed.

"I know you're stressed out you've been, especially with the campaign, I just wanted to help you out," Riley smiled at him, leaving his struggles with Hailey out at the last second. She didn't need to make him any more upset.

"Doctor Mathews, I am more than capable of juggling the coroner campaign with my job at the practice," Roy chastised her.

"I heard that the Barbara Banks supporters at the high school have been taking down your signs," Riley attempted to distract him.

"Who did you hear that from?" Roy took the bait, "Half my campaign funds have been going to replacing those signs."

"I have my sources," Riley replied, shooting Blake a glare as he gave a snort.

"You'll let me know if you hear anything else?" Roy asked and Riley relaxed as she realized that she was off the hook.

"I'll keep my ear to the ground," Riley promised. Roy made his way out of the practice and Riley turned her attention back to Blake.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" Blake asked, opening a filing cabinet to deposit his paperwork into.

"I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure that Barbara is buying up votes from the senior class," Riley said and he shot her a look.

"That wasn't what I meant and you know it," Blake said, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair.

"I don't really want to talk about it," Riley replied, slipping out of her lab coat.

"I'm a pretty good listener, if you ever do want to talk," Blake called after her as she returned to her office to grab her purse.

"Thank you, Blake," Riley gave him a smile as she made her way out of the practice.

There was someone lounging against the side of her car and for a minute Riley thought she was going to have to deal with Liam, but she paused as they turned and the streetlight hit their face.

"Farkle?" Riley asked, frozen in shock.

"I know I get more stunningly good looking the older I get and that you haven't seen me in a while, but you can stop staring," Farkle greeted her, buffing his nails on his designer suit.

"Farkle!" Riley closed the distance between them, pulling him into a hug.

"I've missed you too, Riles," he said, patting her back, "But this dress-shirt wrinkles."

 _ **Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! Things should get more exciting from here on out.**_


	4. Never Forget You

"How did you get here?" Riley asked, noting the luggage that he's set beside her car.

"I drove. Unfortunately, my rental broke down about three miles that way," he said, gesturing behind him.

"You could have called for help," she said, unlocking her car and popping the trunk.

"My phone died," he shrugged, moving around to load his suitcase.

"Well, lucky for you I have electricity at the carriage house," she reassured him.

"What about running water?" he asked and she let out a laugh, even though he sounded pretty serious.

The nearest motel happened to be three exits down (Not to mention it's crowning accommodation is colored TVs) and the town's local bed and breakfast was definitely closed for the night, so Riley knew that Farkle would be spending the night.

"We can get someone to look at your rental car tomorrow morning," Riley suggested, easing out onto the main road.

"Okay," he agreed, his attention entirely absorbed in watching the passing buildings outside of his window.

"How's international law?" Riley asked, when the silence got to be too much to deal with.

"It's still international," Farkle replied, smiling at her from the passenger's seat.

"You know what I mean," Riley returned, turning onto the dirt road that led home.

"I'm actually working on Senator Crawford's re-election campaign at the moment," he admits and Riley immediately feels guilty at how little she knows about what he's been up to.

"Enacting your plans for world domination?" she teased him, turning on her bright lights to better illuminate the road.

"One campaign at a time," he agrees and she can't help, but be struck with how much he has grown up. The last time she saw him was at her graduation from medical school, right before he had moved to Washington D.C. "I thought about running for office myself, but my advisors suggest that my teenage dreams of dictatorship don't make me a good candidate."

"I can't imagine why," she laughs, slowing down as they reach the section of road that is covered in holes, "I heard you called my office."

"Your receptionist isn't very good," Farkle commented, wincing as the car jostled them around.

"He's a nurse," Riley explained.

"I can only assume that he must have mixed up the message, which is why I'm here," he explained.

"Must be a pretty important message to come all the way out here," Riley commented, pulling up to the carriage house and putting the car in park.

"I'm Lucas's best man," he admitted, "So, I'm pretty sure that it's somewhere in my duties to watch out for the maid of honor."

"Even if she's hoping that the whole thing gets called off?" Riley asked.

"I think that particular issue falls under my title as best friend," he decided, opening the door and climbing out.

Riley followed behind him, stepping in front of him to open her front door and flip on the lights.

"It's a little small," she apologized, "But the couch is high quality."

"I'm sure it's better than my desk, which is where I sleep most nights," Farkle reassured her.

"Let me just grab you some sheets," she disappeared into the bathroom.

"I would think you could afford something with more rooms on a doctor's salary," Farkle called to her as she dug through her cabinets for her extra set of sheets.

"I can," Riley replied, returning to help make up the couch.

"Then what are you doing here?" he asked, taking in the sparse space she occupied.

"If a buy a house then being here would feel," she trailed off as she searched for the word.

"Permanent," Farkle suggested.

"Something like that," Riley agreed, laying out the sheets and going in search of a blanket.

"I'm going to change," Farkle said, dragging his suitcase with him into the bathroom.

Riley took the opportunity to check her cell phone, surprised to find that she only had two additional missed calls from Maya. She sprawled onto her bed, waiting for Farkle to come out of the bathroom. The problem with being alone was that she didn't trust herself with her thoughts.

"I heard you're thinking about having a baby?" Farkle called through the closed door.

 _"_ _How many kids do you want?" Riley asks curiously, as she cuts out another picture for her interior design class. The project was to design your future dream home and Riley had figured that she couldn't go too wrong with a collection of shoe boxes and magazine cut-outs._

 _"_ _However many you want," Lucas replies, not even looking up from the math book he's copying his homework out of._

 _"_ _That's not an answer. And you don't know that we'll end up together," Riley points out._

 _"_ _How many kids do you want?" he ignores her statement, and Riley rolls her eyes._

 _"_ _Two," she answers and watches as he seems to think over her answer._

 _"_ _I want at least four," he says, looking up at her for the first time._

 _"_ _That's twice as many," Riley informs him._

 _"_ _It's a good number to help run my ranch," Lucas defends himself._

 _"_ _We're living on a ranch now?" Riley questions, and a smile that lights up his entire face appears, as he sets aside his math homework._

 _"_ _I thought you didn't know that we would end up together," Lucas reminds her._

 _"_ _I don't know," Riley replies, "I just hope."_

 _"_ _So, you'll live on my ranch with me and be the mother of my four children?" he clarifies, smirking as he waits for her to argue with him._

 _"_ _That sounds an awful lot like a proposal," Riley avoids answering, but for some reason she can't break his gaze and a smile is trying to force its way onto her own face._

 _"_ _When I ask you to marry me and spend the rest of your life with me, Riley Mathews, there won't be the need for any clarification," he turns his attention back to the work before him._

 _"_ _We might have to negotiate on the children, I want a career, too," Riley says, going back to cutting out the picture of a decorative rug._

 _"_ _I'm open to negotiation on everything except for that rug," Lucas says._

 _"_ _It's going to look fantastic in the study," Riley disagrees._

 _"_ _It's neon green."_

"Riley?" she came back to the present and wondered how many times Farkle had called her name.

"Sorry, it's been a long day," she said, sitting up.

"You never answered me," he said, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Yeah, I'm thinking about having a baby," Riley replied.

"You would be a great mother," Farkle said and she smiled at him, "I'm going to get some sleep, we can talk in the morning."

"Farkle?" Riley asked, as he made his way to the couch.

"What?" he replied, settling into the blankets.

"Are those pajamas silk?" she questioned.

"I have delicate skin," he defended himself, turning his back to her.

Riley smiled as she moved into the bathroom to change into her own pajamas. She pauses as she catches site of herself in the mirror and notes the differences in how her face has changed over the years. She can tell that she's aging, leaving behind her youth, but it all still feels like it only happened recently.

 _"_ _Would you just talk to me?" Lucas demands as Riley shoves the books she doesn't need into her locker. The halls are almost empty and she knows that he's going to be late to football practice._

 _"_ _There's nothing to talk about," Riley returns, refusing to look at him._

 _"_ _That's the problem, you never have anything to talk about anymore," Lucas sighs, grabbing her shoulders and gently turning her so that she has no choice but to look at him._

 _"_ _Isn't that how you prefer I be?" Riley shoots back at him, stubbornly staring at the ground._

 _"_ _When have I ever said that?" Lucas asks and Riley pulls out of his arms, putting several feet of distance between them._

 _"_ _You drag me to these parties, where I don't know anyone, and then I end up being the designated person to get us all home safe," Riley says._

 _"_ _If you don't want to go, all you have to do is tell me," he sounds exasperated and Riley wishes that he could just understand._

 _"_ _And leave you and Maya to try and get home on your own? I'm not stupid enough to believe that the two of you can make responsible decisions, anymore," Riley snaps, finally allowing herself to meet his gaze._

 _"What are you talking about?" he asks, his eyes darkening at her accusation._

 _"Just because holding Maya's hair while she pukes in bushes keeps me pretty occupied, doesn't mean I miss the smell of alcohol coming off your breath," Riley says, flatly._

 _"And that bothers you?" Lucas asks and Riley has to resist the urge to roll her eyes._

 _"Yes, it bothers me," Riley snaps._

 _"_ _If you're not comfortable with me going, then I'll stop," Lucas decides._

 _"And the drinking?"_

 _"I don't drink all that much and I've just been so stressed out," he explains._

 _"There are lost of other ways to deal with stress," Riley points out._

 _"Okay," he agrees, his eyes flickering away from hers for a second._

 _"_ _Just like that?" Riley asks, unsure if she believes him._

 _"_ _Obviously, I wish that you would just trust me, but you know that I don't break promises to you."_

Unfortunately, there are some promises that people just can't keep, though she manages to suppress that memory before it can break through. It does, however, leave her open for a memory of her own mistakes.

 _All of her hopes and dreams for high school start dying a slow and agonizing death. Lucas joins the football team and Farkle wins medal after medal for the debate team. Even Maya joins art club and her pictures start popping up all over the school. Zay shows a remarkable talent for cooking and joins the school's FCCLA club. Riley just can't seem to find a place that fits her and finds herself drifting with no clear direction._

 _She's lost and for the first time questioning whether the future really is as bright as she has always imagined it to be. Her self-doubts threaten to consume her and she finds herself withdrawing from the people around her._

 _"_ _What's going on, Riley?" Lucas asks, sitting across from her in the library. She had been avoiding most of her friends for the last few days and she knew that sooner or later it was going to catch up with her._

 _"_ _Nothing," Riley insists, ready to end the conversation._

 _"_ _Now I know that there's something," he says, folding his arms and tapping his foot impatiently._

 _"_ _If I say it out loud, then it's real," Riley admits, looking for anything to occupy her hands while she talks._

 _"_ _If you don't say it, things are just going to keep getting worse," Lucas insists._

 _"_ _I don't know where I belong, Lucas. Everyone has somewhere that they fit in and I don't," Riley snaps, finally revealing her worries._

 _"_ _You belong with me," Lucas disagrees, though some of the frustration has left his eyes._

 _"_ _That's not enough. All anybody knows me as is Lucas's girlfriend or Maya's best friend. I'm not Riley anymore," she says, trying to make him understand._

 _He looks at her with a blank gaze and it's all of her worst fears realized._

 _"_ _Why does it matter what everyone else sees you as?" he finally asks._

 _"_ _It's not just them, it's what I see me as," she sighs, her head dropping to the table._

 _"_ _I feel lost sometimes, too, but when I'm with you, I feel like I'm the person that I want to be," he says._

 _"_ _When I'm with you, all I feel is lost."_

If she could take back anything that she had ever said, it would be that phrase, right there.

 **Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, favorited last chapter! The response was overwhelming. Keep in mind that this is one of those stories where things are going to get significantly worse before they get better; in both present and past tense. Also, is anyone else concerned with what they're seeing for season 3?**

 **Next chapter: Riley's going to deliver a baby and Farkle's going to lend some political advice. It might be a few days before this is up.**


	5. Don't Let Me Down

**Disclaimer and Warning: Obviously, I don't own any of the characters you recognize. And I am incorporating several spoilers that I've seen for season 3 into the plot. They will, however, have my own twists to them and I doubt will be anywhere close to what we'll actually see in season 3. Also, this chapter contains a semi-specific birth scene. I don't think it's that bad, but I'm about to start nursing school, so my standard might be way different. It's no more graphic then what you would see on a medical drama.**

Riley's favorite kind of phone calls come at 3 a.m. In middle school and high school, she was an early to bed, early to rise kind of person. Anything less than eight hours of sleep left her feeling completely lost. She loosened up in college, but it was when she started her surgical residency that she was forced to train herself to function on less sleep.

Riley's job had come to her as a calling. A death row pardon, thirty seconds before she was ready to throw in the towel and quit school, until she could figure out what she really wanted to do. So, now, when she received 3 a.m. calls; they were a reminder that one thing in her life had worked out the way it was supposed to.

Unfortunately, her latest call came while she had a guest asleep on her couch. She had tossed and turned for most of the night, unable to drift off to sleep. She had just managed, when harp music startled her awake.

"Hello?" Riley snagged her phone off of her bedside table, trying to untangle her legs from her sheets.

"Hey, Riley, Marsha's in labor and I don't think she's going to make it to the hospital," Blake greeted her. They switched who had the practice's phone calls forwarded to them after hours, and it just so happened to be Blake's week. He didn't sound overly thrilled about it.

"How far dilated is she?" Riley asked, pulling herself out of bed and grabbing her scrubs off of her dresser.

"I don't know, I'm on my way out right now. She says her water just broke, but I'm pretty sure she's been in active labor for a while," he replied.

"Did you tell her to come get checked out at the practice?" Riley asked, putting the phone on speaker, as she pulled her clothes on and pulled her hair back.

"Her husband doesn't think we should move her," Blake replied.

"You told him that delivering a baby is different from delivering a sheep?" Riley asked as she left the bathroom.

"Is it, though?" Blake returned.

"I haven't actually ever delivered a sheep," Riley admitted, grabbing her emergency bag from beside the door and snagging her keys from where the hung on the wall.

"I'm headed out the door right now, I'll be there as soon as I can," Riley promised.

"I'll ask Henry what the differences are between childbirth and sheep-birth, for you," Blake offered, hanging up the phone before she could reply.

"Riley?" a voice stopped her before she could make it out the door.

"I have to go deliver a baby," Riley said, turning around, "There's food in the fridge, but I hope to be back by breakfast."

"There are angels singing," Farkle muttered.

"What?" Riley asked.

Farkle didn't respond and Riley didn't have the time to push the issue, so she ducked into the night, closing the door behind her.

Riley pulled up to Marsha and Henry's house just in time to see Blake and Henry about to get into a fight on the front porch.

"What's going on?" Riley asked, getting out the car.

"He is not going in there," Henry insisted, his eyes daring Riley to contradict him.

"Blake is very good at his job; as a trained medical professional. He has a bachelor's degree and everything," Riley assured him, purposefully putting herself between the two men.

"He's not going in there," Henry repeated, crossing his arms and standing firmly in front of the door.

"Is that what your wife wants?" Riley asked.

"Marsha is in no state to know what she wants," Henry replied and Riley had to bite her tongue from going on a feminist rant.

"I need you to do something for me, Henry," Riley smiled, wincing as the sounds of groaning drifted through the open front door. She really didn't have time for this.

"What do you need, Doc?" he asked, looking at her suspiciously.

"I need yarn," Riley informed him, elbowing Blake as he disguised a snort with a cough.

"What for?" Henry pushed.

"Your wife is about to have a baby; we don't have time to play twenty-questions. Can you get it for me, or not?" Riley snapped, losing patience all together.

"There isn't a store that sells yarn for almost thirty miles," he pointed out.

"So, you'd better hurry. I need at least four different colors and you'd better pick me up some knitting needles, too," Riley added. She left out that it probably wouldn't open for another three to four hours, as well.

"What are those for?" he asked, looking at her with horror.

"A very complicated procedure that will take place after the birth," Riley replied, somehow managing to keep a straight face.

"What about him?" Henry turned his attention to Blake and Riley let out a groan. She had hoped that she had distracted him.

"Blake's going to carry my very important medical bag and boil some water for me," Riley replied, handing the bag over to him. He grunted at the weight.

"He can't get your yarn?" Henry questioned, skeptically.

"Do you really want to trust Blake with something this important?" Riley asked.

"Alright, I'll be back soon," he said, running towards the barn.

"I'm going to boil water?" Blake asked when Henry was out of earshot.

"Nobody ever questions that water boiling is a part of the birthing process," Riley mused, slipping through the door as Blake trailed along behind.

"Marsha?" Blake called out, setting her bag on the kitchen table.

"In here," Marsha grunted back and Riley pulled her sterile gloves out of her bag, moving into the bedroom.

"Do you mind if Blake helps me out?" Riley asked, as she moved over to where Marsha was laying on the bed.

"Did you get rid of Henry?" Marsha questioned, looking around.

"He's out buying yarn," Riley replied, moving to the foot of the bed to check how dilated she was.

"I love that man, but sometimes he can really drive me crazy," she groaned, grabbing her stomach as she hit a contraction.

"She's at an eight," Riley called out to Blake, taking off her gloves.

"I guess she really is having the baby at home," Blake called back.

"I need to see how the baby is positioned," Riley said, "To do that, I'm going to press on your stomach."

"Okay," Marsha agreed, leaning back exhausted.

Riley carefully pressed her hands along Marsha's stomach, trying to identify body parts. She'd learned everything using equipment in medical school and had been forced to learn different methods when she had gone rural.

"I'm just going to step outside and talk to Blake for a minute, I'll be right back," Riley gave her a reassuring smile, moving back out into the hall.

"What's wrong?" Blake asked as she closed the door behind her.

"The baby's positioning is wrong," Riley admitted, digging through her bag to find the rest of her equipment.

"It could still turn," Blake pointed out.

"You'd better call for an ambulance," Riley said, stringing her stethoscope around her neck.

"The nearest hospital is at least two hours away," Blake pointed out.

"Yeah, I know," Riley carefully eased her way back into the room; where Marsha sat shivering on the bed.

"How are you feeling?" Riley asked, as she laid her things out.

"I'm not even cold," she admitted, her teeth starting to chatter.

"That's normal, it means your baby is going to come soon," Riley assured her, moving to the edge of the bed.

She started groaning again as she hit another contraction and Riley winced at the sound. She extended one of her hands for Marsha to hold, "Just breath."

Marsha attempted to match her breaths to Riley as Riley demonstrated exactly how she should breath, "Good job, it will be over soon."

Riley held her hand through another four contractions before she decided it was time to check her progress again.

"You're fully dilated," Riley informed her, peeling off her gloves, before she pressed her hands to Marsha's stomach again, "I'm going to have to turn the baby, while you start pushing."

"Okay," Marsha agreed, her groans coming closer to yelling as she hit another contraction.

Riley left off that it was going to hurt and braced herself. She managed to turn the baby on her first try, tuning out the sound of Marsha's discomfort. After almost twenty minutes of pushing, a full head of hair made its way into the world.

"One more push," Riley encouraged her, getting ready to hook her hands around the baby's shoulders.

The baby finally slid into position and Riley easily pulled it the rest of the way out, smiling as it started to cry.

"It's a girl," Riley smiled as she wiped the baby with a towel and handed her to her mother.

"She's beautiful," Marsha's entire face lit up.

"Yeah, she is," Riley agreed.

An hour later, Riley had finished things up and was fairly confident that Marsha and baby would make a full recovery. She was just finishing packing her things, when Henry showed up in his truck. He proudly carried a bag filled with different colors of yarn.

"How did it go?" he asked as he entered the kitchen.

"Why don't you go see for yourself?" Riley suggested, gesturing towards the open bedroom. The yarn was left abandoned in the living room and Riley couldn't help, but wonder how he had managed to find a store that was open at five a.m.

"The ambulance should be here any minute," Blake informed her from where he had sprawled out on the couch. His eyes were closed, but he didn't appear to have been sleeping.

"You're my favorite nurse in the entire world," Riley smiled at him.

"I'm not even a nurse," he snorted, "I'm a receptionist who gives you moral support from the other room while you deliver babies."

"Next time I'll let you deliver the baby," Riley joked, glancing out the window as the ambulance pulled up.

"I'm going to start delivering livestock. We'll see what Henry says when I'm the best sheep-wife on this side of the interstate," he smirked, sitting up.

"Sheep-wife?" Riley raised an eyebrow, as the EMT's started unloading equipment.

"It was a play on midwife," he explained, "It doesn't work?"

"No, it really doesn't," Riley replied.

"I'll keep thinking on it," Blake promised her, moving towards the door to let the EMT's in.

"You do that," Riley agreed.

"I'm bored," Farkle announced when she entered the carriage house, dropping her bag onto the ground. She was gross and tired, but was still on her baby-delivering high, so she let it slide.

"You can come to work with me. I just need to shower, I smell like amniotic fluid," Riley informed him, pausing to get a drink of water at the sink.

"Amni-what?" he asked, taking another bite of cereal.

"Don't worry about it," Riley sighed, moving back towards the bathroom.

"Women's health is a real mystery to me," Farkle called through the bathroom, as Riley threw her scrubs into her laundry basket and turned on the water.

"As it should be," Riley called back, closing the curtain.

She showered quickly and left the bathroom in her robe, realizing at the last second that she had forgotten clothes to change into.

"I know we're close, Riles, but I'm not sure that we've reached this point, yet," Farkle informed her. He was back on the couch, his phone pressed to his ear.

"You should feel privileged, no one's seen this much of me in years," Riley snorted, opening her dresser to dig for dress pants.

"I'm at least glad to know that you shave your legs," Farkle said and Riley tossed a pair of socks at him as she finished grabbing her things.

"Oh, Riley's just walking around her house, scantily clad," Farkle said into the phone.

"Who are you talking to?" Riley asked, picking up her bundle of clothes.

"Zay," he answered and Riley shot him a look.

"I thought the two of you had your competitive thing with Lucas going on?" Riley said, moving back into the bathroom and hesitating at the doorway.

"I figured we could put our differences aside after I beat him out for best man," Farkle said, covering the phone, so that Zay couldn't hear.

Riley rolled her eyes before closing the door to get ready for the day.

"Weirdest place you've ever delivered a baby?" Farkle asked as they drove to her work.

"A bar," Riley replied and he gave her a look.

"I don't think she was actually drinking, but her favorite band was playing. This was back during my residency. Anyway, I went there to hear the music with some friends and she had been ignoring contractions all day. There was a huge accident just down the street and it took the ambulance almost thirty minutes to get there. At that point it was too late," Riley explained, pulling into her designated parking spot and putting the car in park.

"Lucas once delivered an entire litter of kittens on the side of the road," Farkle informed her and Riley felt a jolt at hearing his name.

"Huh," she managed, getting out of the car and mechanically making her way towards the practice.

She made her way inside and found Roy sitting at the front desk, "What did you do with Blake, Doctor Mathews?"

"We delivered a baby early this morning and I told him he could come in late," Riley admitted, waiting for the scolding to come.

"Whose baby?" he asked, apparently content to drop the subject.

"Marsha's, she's a girl. Seven pounds, eight ounces," Riley announced, leaning on the desk.

"Everything went okay?" he asked, his attention focused on the computer.

"Yeah, I'll go check on her tonight," Riley said.

"Good, is this another one of your patients?" he asked, his attention shifting to Farkle.

"No, this is one of my childhood best friends, Farkle Minkus," Riley introduced him.

"Nice to meet you, Marble," Roy greeted him.

"It's Farkle, Sir," Farkle corrected him, moving up beside Riley.

"That's what I said. Riley, have you seen Susan's campaign video?" Roy changed the subject.

"I can't say that I have," Riley admitted.

"She's gotten the animal shelter to endorse her. How do you top the animal shelter?" Roy demanded, slamming one fist on the table.

"What are you running for?" Farkle asked curiously and Riley rolled her eyes at the excitement radiating off of him. You could take the boy out of Washington...

"Coroner," Roy admitted.

"I might be able to help you out," Farkle suggested, leaning forward.

"What did you have in mind?" Roy copied his movement and Riley let out a groan as she continued on to her office.

Riley had gotten Farkle's car picked up that morning and they went over to check on it at lunch. Farkle spent a ridiculous amount of time talking technical mumbo jumbo, while Riley tried not to fall asleep, before they headed to lunch.

They picked up take-out from the local fast food place and drove to the local observation point to eat. In her attempts to be a good example, Riley felt weird eating unhealthy food in public.

"I don't get it," Farkle said as Riley put the car in park and handed the bag of food to Farkle for him to sort.

"Get what?" Riley asked, wearily.

"You could be working at Mount Sinai in New York, or you were offered a neo-natal surgical residency. You could be so much more than what you are, but you don't even seem to care," Farkle said, handing over her burger.

"I like it here, it's quiet," Riley said, gesturing with her free hand at the view in front of her.

"Remember when you refused to drop the marble in our science class?" Farkle asked, looking at her intently, while she tried to avoid his gaze.

"I recall," she said, between bites of food.

"That was someone who was going to be at the top of her field. That was someone who was out to achieve greatness," Farkle insisted.

"I just brought a life into this world, it doesn't get greater than that," Riley contradicted him, fishing into the bag for her fries.

"Let's be honest here, Riley, you could deliver babies anywhere. You're here because you let your feelings for Lucas chase you halfway across the country," Farkle stated and Riley had to take several deep breaths before she could answer. She'd forgotten that he was always the one to call her out on everything.

"You're right," Riley agreed, taking another bite of her sandwich.

"You want to know the message?" Farkle asked, grabbing her free hand so that she was forced to look at him.

"Maya can't get married without me?" Riley suggested, glaring at him across the three feet of space they had in the car.

"You can live here and be a small town doctor, you almost seem happy here sometimes, which is more then you were the last time that I saw you, but you can't let them keep you from going home. Your family misses you and your friends miss you," he finished.

"When I go there, I feel parts of me slowly dying," Riley informed him, "You know, I flew to New York for Christmas and I never even left the airport. I told everybody that my flight was cancelled because of a storm, but I really just spent Christmas in a plastic chair waiting until I could get a flight home. I don't wear my best friend ring anymore because before I left, I really thought I hated Maya. I don't go back because when I do I hate the people I'm supposed to love and I especially hate myself for loving the one person I shouldn't."

"Why haven't you said anything?" Farkle demanded, squeezing her hand in his frustration, "You let things bottle up inside of you, until they burst and it's not healthy, Riley."

"Who am I supposed to talk to? Maya? Lucas?" Riley suggested, pulling her hand away from him and setting it in her lap.

"What about your parents? Or Auggie? Or Josh? Or, here's a crazy one, what about me? If you had tried to get ahold of me, I would have answered, regardless of what I said when I left," Farkle suggested, his tone becoming softer as he saw that she was withdrawing.

"My parents don't know what happened, neither does Auggie, and it really needs to stay that way. And my uncle has had his own set of problems since his divorce. And it was better that you and I didn't talk after everything that happened."

"Well, I'm here now. Are you going to tell me the real story?" Farkle asked.

"You were there when Maya got arrested and you were there when she almost died," Riley reminded him, dropping the rest of her meal back into the bag; her appetite had faded.

"What do those things have to do with your relationship with Lucas?" Farkle pressed, trying to put the pieces together.

"I was lost and Maya was lost, but she was an easier person to fix. Lucas knew how to fix her, but he didn't know what to do with me," Riley explained, wiping furiously at a tear that had fallen despite her best efforts.

"That's not an answer," Farkle said, "I'm trying to understand, but I don't."

"Someday, I will tell you everything that happened, but I have to be able to get back to work and focus on my patients," Riley closed the conversation, starting the car.

"I'm sorry, it's not fair that you've had to deal with this on your own," Farkle said.

"I don't blame you for leaving after my graduation. I don't blame you for not wanting anything to do with me the past few years," Riley sighed.

"Things are different now, I'm different now," Farkle assured her.

"I wish things with me had been different," Riley promised, glancing at him before returning her eyes to the road.

"Riles, we're going to be okay," he gave her a smile, but all Riley really wanted to do was cry.

 **Once again, thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, etc. I'm having a hard time keeping up with responding to all of the reviews and I can't even began to believe that we've hit 43 by chapter four. You guys are amazing! Next chapter will include more flashbacks and Farkle will become more involved in town politics.**


	6. Lay Your Head Down

Farkle became something of a fixture in Riley's household. They could have gotten him a room at the bed and breakfast, but Riley liked to work long office hours, and she found it oddly comforting to come home to someone at the end of the day. Farkle's car was fixed up by the weekend, and as soon as he gained some freedom, he got to work on Roy's campaign.

He would periodically pop into the practice to inform them of updates and ideas that had come to him, while he was out and about. He also instituted once a week campaign meetings, which was how Riley found herself at Roy's main house, eating carrots out of a bowl and watching Farkle gesture to pie charts he had hung on the wall.

"So, based on my poling what this campaign really needs is," Farkle paused as he searched for the right word, "Pizzazz."

"Pizzazz?" Roy asked blankly, the word foreign to him.

"Where were you poling from?" Blake asked, skeptically. He was hogging an entire bag of Cheetos. It's the family size and Riley knows that she doesn't _need_ to eat them, but her carrots are a poor substitute.

"He was outside the high school," Hailey offered, from where she sat in the corner. She was still grounded from the alcohol poisoning incident, but Farkle had managed to talk Roy into letting him use her as his assistant.

She was taking the job quite seriously and was taking diligent notes of the meeting. Riley tried to ignore that she was pretty sure Hailey was wearing one of her business suits. She'd never had a sister who stole clothes from her, especially clothes that had to be dry cleaned, which was probably why it was annoying her so much.

"We're relying on what high schoolers tell us?" Blake clarified, shooting Riley a, "Where did you find this guy?" kind of look.

"We need a slogan," Farkle said, un-phased by the doubt hanging over the room.

"Like: Roy Harding, the people's coroner," Roy suggested.

Riley picked up her knitting project and settled herself in for the long haul. At the last meeting, she had just had to help design flyers, this was proving to be way more work.

"What about: Roy Harding, a candidate to die for," Blake suggested, sarcastically. Unfortunately, Farkle's eyes lit up and she could see his enthusiasm rising to the surface.

"I like it," Farkle smiled, snapping his fingers, "It's catchy."

"You don't think it's in bad taste?" Roy asked, his eyes flickering to Riley.

"I think it's something that will get people to look twice at you," Farkle explained before Riley could add anything.

"It's definitely a different approach than Barbara's taking and this is her third time being reelected. It might help to try something new," Riley offered, her eyes not leaving her project.

"Hailey, start designing concept ideas. We must give the people what they want," Farkle said and Hailey nodded vigorously drawing something on her notepad.

"I'm going to lose, aren't I?" Roy asked when Farkle and Hailey left the room in search of a computer.

"At least, you'll go out in style," Blake joked, returning the bag of Cheetos to the table.

"In middle school, Farkle almost convinced our class to vote him dictator, I wouldn't rule him out, yet," Riley suggested.

"Almost being the operative word," Blake pointed out.

"He had some stiff competition," Riley insisted, finishing off a row and starting on a new one.

"Like a three time reelected woman, who has an endorsement from the animal shelter?" Roy asked sullenly.

"Like the cutest guy in our grade, who was championing democracy," Riley corrected him, before adding, "And a princess."

"You were the princess, weren't you?" Blake asked, looking her over.

"Maybe," Riley said, gathering her things, so that she could return to her house.

"So, did the cute guy end up living in his mother's basement, reliving his glory years?" Blake asked.

"No, he's a vet," Riley replied.

"Naturally," Blake grumbled, grabbing the bag of Cheetos on his way out.

Riley made her way back to the carriage house, enjoying the sunset that was spreading colors across the sky in the distance. In a couple of hours, she would be able to see stars stretched out from horizon to horizon, in every direction. When she'd first gotten here, she'd been sucked up in memories of the times she had visited Texas, but now she could just enjoy it for what it was. The city lights just couldn't compare.

Her phone started vibrating as she made her way into the house and she tossed her bag of knitting supplies onto the table and made her way over to her bed. Maya's number flashed across the screen and she knew that she had reached her quota of missed calls, hitting, "Talk," she sunk down onto her mattress.

"Hey," she said, leaning back into her pillows.

"Hi," a voice that was definitely not Maya's greeted her.

 _When Riley was six she dropped a glass. It had been filled to the brim with juice or maybe milk; the details seemed to become more and more fuzzy as time passed. However, she can still recall the exact sound as the glass hit the floor and shattered into a million pieces. It was the kind of sound that echoed inside of her head and convinced her that she would find herself the object of her mother's wrath._

 _Her mother wasn't nearly as upset as she had thought, but the sound stuck with Riley, occasionally making its way into her nightmares._

 _She swears that it's the same sound that wakes her when her phone goes off in the middle of the night. Nobody would be calling her at this hour unless something was horribly wrong._

 _"_ _Hello?" Riley answered the phone, already kicking her sheets off and moving towards her closet to get dressed._

 _"_ _Riley," Lucas's slurred voice comes across the line and she pauses in what she's doing._

 _"_ _Lucas? What's going on?" Riley asks wearily._

 _"_ _I made a mistake," he admits and Riley feels her heart stop._

 _"_ _I need more words. What's going on?" she repeats, unable to move from her spot just outside of her closet._

 _"_ _I'm outside your window," he reveals and Riley's feet start moving on their own power. She's not sure she has the brain capacity to make that many coordinated movements, but she finds herself forcing the curtains out of the way, anyway._

 _Even in the darkness, she can see the blood running down Lucas's face and staining his clothes._

 _"_ _What happened?" she demands, throwing her phone down, as she forces the window open._

 _"_ _I broke my promise," he admits, refusing to look her in the eyes._

 _"_ _Get inside," she demands, moving out of his way and watching as he hesitantly makes his way into her bedroom._

 _"_ _We should get you to a hospital," she suggests, though her mind and everything else seems frozen in place._

 _"_ _They'll know I've been drinking, Riley. I can't go to a hospital," he insists, placing his head in his hands._

 _The light pouring in from her window is just enough to illuminate the jagged cuts on his hands and she sucks in a breath._

 _"_ _What happened to your hands?" Riley asks, taking an unconscious step forward._

 _"_ _I fell in some glass," he admits, holding them in front of him, as though he's seeing them for the first time._

 _"_ _I'm going to go grab a first aid kit," Riley decides, leaving the room and making her way to the bathroom. She can barely process what she's seeing as she digs through towels, shampoo, and cosmetics to find the first aid kit that is buried in the very back._

 _She darts back to her bedroom, already pulling it open and taking inventory of what she has to work with. She just has the basic first aid knowledge that she'd received from health class and she's trying to review all of it in her head, as she pulls out gauze and disinfectant wipes._

 _"_ _A towel," she mutters, as she takes in the blood pouring from the cut on his forehead. She hurries back to the bathroom, grabbing a towel. At the last minute, she additionally grabs the hand towel, letting it sit under a stream of water, until she thinks that it will be sufficient in cleaning blood off of him._

 _She pauses in front of him, pressing the towel to his head, and steadying herself with a hand on his shoulder. All she wants to do is bury herself in his shirt and pretend that none of this is happening. It's almost a surprise, that she realizes that under her own insecurities is a deep need for Lucas to be safe. She needs him and having him leaning on her is throwing her off._

 _"_ _Riley," he tries, his hands gripping her arms, as though he's terrified that she'll leave him._

 _"_ _Who did this to you?" she demands, still trying to process how any of this could have happened._

 _"_ _Maya wanted to go to this party and you and I have been whatever we are lately," he sighed, "I just needed a break."_

 _"_ _From me?" Riley clarifies, her hand that is pressing the towel to his head starting to shake._

 _"_ _I don't know, maybe," he whispered, his eyes moving from the floor to her face. She can't bring herself to meet his gaze._

 _"_ _Can you hold this, I'm going to go grab some things for your hands," Riley says, waiting for him to take the towel._

 _"_ _Someone was trying to kiss Maya and she kept pushing him away. I finally, just snapped. I can't even remember most of it, but he shoved me into a coffee table and glass shattered everywhere," Lucas rambled, as Riley grabbed her supplies and attempted to compose herself before she would need to face him again._

 _"_ _Where's Maya?" Riley asks, turning around and taking his free hand to examine. She's still not able to look at him, but she can feel his eyes like a physical weight on her skin._

 _"_ _I told her to run when things first started and she did," he replies, watching as she runs the disinfectant over his hands and searches the cuts for any remaining shards of glass._

 _"_ _You're so stupid," Riley sobs, abruptly losing composure as she loses the ability to breathe. He uses the hand she was cleaning to pull her into his chest and she doesn't even mind that he's probably covering her in his blood. It feels like her own blood, anyway._

 _"_ _I'm so sorry," he whispers into her hair, "I made a mistake, I'm so sorry."_

 _"_ _I need to do something with your head before you bleed to death," Riley sobs, wracking her brain for any ideas of what to do._

 _She grabs her cell phone off of the window seat, searching through her contacts for her Uncle Josh._

 _"_ _What are you doing?" Lucas demands, looking at her with worry._

 _"_ _I'm calling my uncle," she replies, batting his hand away gently, as she waits for it to ring._

 _"_ _Riley? What's wrong?" Josh demands, answering on the second ring._

 _And suddenly, the entire story is pouring out of her, personal thoughts included, as she tries to get him to understand just how out of her depth she is. Lucas is bleeding to death in front of her and she_ can't _lose him._

 _"_ _Maya's with me," he informs her, halfway through her rant, and Riley nearly drops the phone._

 _She wants to ask a million questions about what her best friend is doing there, but all that comes out is, "What do I do about the cut on his head?"_

 _"_ _In the ER, they superglue it closed," Josh suggests._

 _"_ _Superglue? Your great idea is superglue?" Riley rants, her head falling into her hands._

 _"_ _Unless you want to try sewing it closed," Josh says and she can tell by the tone in his voice that he's trying to snap her out of her hysteria._

 _"_ _Okay, so I get the superglue and I," she trails off, needing him to give her step-by-step instructions._

 _"_ _Pinch the cut, and glue it closed," Josh says patiently._

 _"_ _I'm not a doctor," Riley groans, wishing that he were there to help her._

 _"_ _Neither am, I, Riley. You can do this," Josh assures her._

 _"_ _Okay, I can do this," she repeats, turning to look at Lucas with wide eyes._

 _"_ _I trust you, Riley," Lucas promises her and she suddenly finds herself laughing hysterically. He trusts her, but he just went out of his way to abuse her trust of him._

 _"_ _I want you text me, when you get things under control," Josh breaks through her laughter, reminding her of how serious all of this is._

 _"_ _Okay, thank you," Riley hangs up the phone and disappears into the kitchen to search out the superglue._

 _It's about that point, where her shock kicks in, and it starts to feel like she's watching another person do these things. She's following Josh's instructions and gluing Lucas's cut closed and then she's cleaning his face with the wet hand towel. She's rolling his hands in gauze and forcing herself to take even breaths._

 _"_ _Riley, look at me," Lucas demands, as she finishes._

 _"_ _I can't, Lucas," Riley says quietly, "Please, don't make me."_

 _"_ _I'll see you at school," he sighs, making his way towards the window._

 _"_ _Stop," Riley snaps, and he hesitates in his movements, "It's too late for you to be out there by yourself."_

 _"_ _I'll be fine," he assures her._

 _"_ _Please, stop," Riley repeats and he slowly turns around to face her, "I'm not ready for you to leave, yet."_

 _She knows there's a double meaning behind those words and she can see from the expression on his face that he knows it, too._

 _"_ _I'm here," he assures her, kicking off his shoes._

 _"_ _Could you just hold me?" Riley asks, tears threatening to start again._

 _"_ _Yeah, I can do that," he closes the distance between them. She melts into his embrace, finding that he still smells like himself underneath the smell of blood._

 _At some point, they sink onto the floor and all Riley can really think is that she's still not ready to let go. She can't put a name to what she's feeling, but she wants to forget that he broke his promise to her, that she doesn't know who she is anymore, that she's just not_ enough _for him; so she closes her eyes and breathes him in._

"Is something wrong with Maya?" Riley comes back to the present, stuffing the feelings that the memory has stirred up away until she has a moment to break down later.

"No, she's fine. She just left her phone," Lucas admits.

"Well, I'm kind of in the middle of something," Riley says, trying to get him off the line.

"Can we just pretend? For a minute?" Lucas asks and somehow Riley knows exactly what he means.

 _When it comes to her boyfriend, she's fighting a losing battle and living on borrowed time._

 _They're trying for the first time in a long time and suddenly they're spending every second of every day together. He holds her hand just a little tighter then he used to and she hugs him just a little longer. She really wishes that all of it were_ enough.

 _She has the image in her head of herself the morning after she'd patched him up. They'd woken early enough to get him out before her parents could find out what happened and she had carefully replaced the first aid-kit and scrubbed the blood stains that were now a part of the bay window._

 _She had just risen from the cabinet under the bathroom sink, when she caught site of herself in the mirror. There were bloody handprints on either of her arms and her pajama shirt is smeared with Lucas's blood. She can pick out the red tinge in her hair and on the side of her cheek, from where she had buried herself in his shirt. She is literally covered in Lucas's blood and she doesn't recognize the person staring back at her._

 _That's always what it comes back to in her mind. She's spent most of her life putting someone else first; Auggie, Maya, Farkle, Lucas. She's ready to forgive Lucas for putting himself in a dangerous situation because he was trying to save her best friend, because he was hurt and she needs him in her life. The Riley she knew would have insisted that they go to a hospital and make sure that he was okay. She wouldn't be covering his own sins and continuing to do so._

 _"_ _I can't keep doing this," Riley admits as Lucas enters the bay window after school one day. She's sitting on her bed with her head in her hands._

 _"_ _What?" Lucas asks, though they both know exactly what she's talking about._

 _"_ _You broke your promise to me, Lucas," Riley says, tears pooling in her eyes._

 _"_ _I know," he admits, sitting in the bay window, and leaving a room's length of space between them._

 _"_ _I don't know who you are anymore," Riley sighs, wiping at the tears that are escaping and trying to keep from openly sobbing._

 _"_ _I don't, either," he agrees, his voice sounding just as agonized._

 _"_ _But that's not why we need to end this," Riley says, forcing herself to be strong._

 _"_ _What do you mean?" Lucas looks up at her and she forces herself to really look at him._

 _"_ _I don't know who I am without you. And I'm trying so hard to make this work, but all we're doing is hurting each other. I don't want to hurt you anymore and I don't want to hurt anymore," she whispers, willing him to understand, "Before we can be together, I need to know who Riley is, and you need to know who Lucas is."_

 _"_ _So, you want a break?" he asks, looking slightly hopeful._

 _"_ _All I know, is that I love you and that I will always love you," Riley forces a smile and suddenly he's closing the difference between them to pull her into his arms._

 _"_ _That's an awful way to say goodbye," he whispers, his head buried in her hair._

 _"_ _I know," she sobs, clinging to his shirt._

 _"_ _I love you, too."_

"We can pretend, for a minute," she agrees, tears running down her cheeks.

"Tell me something happy," he suggests and she knows from the tone of his voice that he's had a bad day.

"Do you remember our class election in middle school?" Riley asked, wanting to get lost in happier memories.

"With Farkle and the dictatorettes?" Lucas laughs and she can't help, but join him.

"I was just thinking about that today," she admits and suddenly the conversation is flowing easily.

He's telling her about working as a veterinarian in a big city and how it isn't what he had hoped it would be. And he's telling her how much he misses Texas and how he would rather be helping with livestock, then spending every day dealing with house pets. They don't mention why he won't leave New York, and for once, despite knowing the answer, it doesn't bother her.

Then, she's telling him about delivering babies and they're laughing about how she got rid of Henry and how she's resigned herself to knitting a baby blanket, to prove that it was an essential part of the birthing process. And she's telling him about the friends that she's made and how strange it is to have Farkle living with her.

"There's nothing going on with you and Farkle?" Lucas asks and for a second Riley considers lying.

"No, we're just, fixing our friendship," she picks her words carefully.

"Zay may have mentioned that you walk around the house in next to nothing around him," Lucas admits and they both know that they're approaching a line that they can't cross.

"That's an exaggeration," she assures him, the weariness coming back into her voice.

"I saw Josh the other day, he came to Maya's art show," Lucas reveals, hesitating on Maya's name because they had both spent most of the conversation avoiding it.

"How is he?" Riley asked.

"Good, he seems good. He mentioned he was coming to see you," Lucas added.

"For the Fourth of July," Riley revealed, as they lapsed into a tense silence. The problem with pretending was that you could only do it for so long.

"Do you know what the differences are between delivering a baby and delivering a sheep?" Riley asked, wanting to hold onto _them_ for just a little bit longer.

"I've never delivered a baby," she could hear his smile across the phone.

"And I've never delivered a sheep," a smile spread across her own face.

"Have you seen my phone?" Maya's voice came from the background.

"I've got it right here," Lucas called back.

"Goodbye, Lucas," Riley said; unsure that she could tackle a conversation with Maya that night.

"Goodbye, Riles."

The phone went dead and it took Riley's heart several minutes to start beating again.

 _It's a natural leap that he ends up with her best friend. There had always been a voice in her head reminding her that Maya was beautiful and short enough to wear high heels around boys. Maya could paint and draw; transmitting her imagination into reality, while Riley's art never seemed to match up to the picture in her head. Maya was everything that Riley was not and so she accepted his decision and smiled as though she couldn't hear the sound of her dreams shattering into shards on the ground._

 _She pretends that it doesn't bother her and even gives them her blessing, but she can feel herself pulling away from all of the truths she had once believed were self-evident. She's losing her innocence and watching as her father's lessons slowly unwind like a loose thread on a sweater._

 _Riley does not need a boy to make her happy. She's repeated the mantra so often in her head that she finds herself whispering it in her sleep. At that point, she figures she must be steps away from really believing it. It takes her the longest time to realize that there was a clear difference between needing a boy to make her happy and being happy with Lucas. Unfortunately, the two weren't interchangeable. By the time she figures it out,_ her _Lucas is distant memory._

Sometimes, she really wishes it was as easy as that. If she didn't understand why Maya and Lucas ended up together, it would be so much easier to hate them.

 **So, the superglue thing actually happened to my cousin. They were on vacation, camping in the middle of nowhere, and she cracked her head open. One of the people with them was an ER nurse and she just had them superglue the cut closed. But, no, I don't recommend trying it at home.**

 **Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, followed, etc. Last chapter. You guys really are awesome and I love hearing everyone's ideas and thoughts on what happened and what will happen next. So, every chapter is a song title that kind of goes with that chapter. I don't know that anyone is actually following that, but I'll just clarify that this one is the Peter Bradley Adams version. I would love it if you would leave me a review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!**


	7. Who Knew

The glow of the computer screen is the only light in her office as Riley scrolls through fertility sites. She's delivered hundreds of babies and seen more than her fair share, but she can't help staring at each of the pictures. The advertisements all make promises for her own bundle of joy and she finds herself trying to picture a baby on her hip. It's not the first time she's allowed the daydreams to flutter through her mind, but it's the first time in a long time that it feels like a real possibility.

The problem is that she's not sure if she wants a baby or to move on to the next phase of life. Graduation is coming up at the high school and as she watches Hailey finish up applications and talk about going away to college, Riley feels old. Listening to Hailey talk reminds her of her own senior year and the memories aren't as pleasant as she hopes that Hailey's are.

 _She finds herself suffocating and the walls are slowly closing in around her. By the end of her junior year she can feel the illusion she has wrapped around herself starting to fade and her smile feels like an unnatural expression on her face. It's mirrored by the look of guilt that glistens in Maya's eyes every time they speak because Riley can see exactly how Maya has started looking at Lucas. Riley had thought that the love triangle was over, but something about Lucas defending Maya has changed things and Riley doesn't know what to do._

 _Maya goes to art camp for the summer and Lucas returns to Texas. It's like suddenly being able to breath after being trapped underwater for an extended period of time. She lets her pretenses drop and for the first time really mourns everything she has lost with the onset of high school. She spends the summer going to Broadway shows with Farkle and planning their lives from her roof top._

 _Naturally, she still has no idea what she wants to do, but she tells him stories of how she'll become a famous actress or a professional magician's assistant and they pretend that she's serious. Farkle tells her about the pressure that he's feeling to go to business school and they plan detailed and well-thought out ways to escape the city. (If her parents care that she's pricing out tickets to Siberia on the family computer, they don't say anything.)_

 _When Maya gets back things are different. Riley can tell that something has happened and Maya is more on edge than Riley has ever seen her. For the first time, nothing Riley does seems to get through to her and she starts avoiding Riley at every turn. Once, Riley would have tracked Maya down and forced her to talk, but she's trying so hard to be her own person that she lets it slide, figuring that Maya will come back to her when she's ready._

 _Riley and Lucas can barely stand to be in the same room together. They haven't talked much since their messy break up and Riley doesn't know what role she plays in his life anymore. Thankfully, it's football season and Lucas wants a state title, so he momentarily disappears from their friend circle. Riley decides to join the debate team and Farkle is incredibly patient in helping her get up to speed. She never wins anything, but she doesn't really expect to, starting out her senior year._

 _Things settle into a kind of rhythm and the days start passing unnoticed. Unfortunately, fate picks up on it and decides to throw her a new challenge._

 _She's not even in bed, yet, though it's dark outside and she's enjoying a night in with Auggie. For the first time in a long time she can see that she's actually content with her life and that she really does believe that things are going to work out._

 _That's why she's not overly worried when her phone starts to vibrate against the coffee table. She picks it up and frowns as she looks at the number, "Hello?"_

 _"_ _Riley, something's happened," Farkle says carefully and a feeling of dread settles into the pit of her stomach._

 _"_ _Okay?" Riley says, bracing herself against the armrest._

 _"_ _Maya's been arrested for possession of drugs," Farkle sighs, and she can hear the sound of sirens in the background._

 _"_ _What? She can't be," Riley pauses, her eyes falling on Auggie, before she moves to the other room, "Doing drugs. We would know."_

 _"_ _She's saying that she's been hanging onto them for a friend," Farkle offers, but she can tell that he doesn't believe it._

 _"_ _What kind of drugs?" Riley asks, pacing her bedroom._

 _"_ _Prescription pain pills," Farkle says matter-of-factly and Riley tries to go over any signs of what he's talking about in her head. Maya hasn't been around often enough for Riley to think of anything._

 _"_ _No, that's not Maya, she wouldn't," Riley insists, trailing off as she runs out of arguments._

 _"_ _It'll be okay, Riles. I've called in the family lawyer and he thinks that we can get her off on rehab and community service, since it's her first charge," Farkle assures her, "We're just waiting for a judge to set bail."_

 _"_ _I should be there, I'm coming down there," Riley insists, grabbing a jacket from her closet._

 _"_ _She doesn't want you here, Riley. She specifically asked that you not be here," Farkle says and Riley finds herself collapsing on her bed._

 _"_ _Why?" Riley asks, blankly._

 _"_ _It was hard enough for Lucas to convince her that I could help. I just don't think that she wants anyone to know about it," Farkle says._

 _"_ _Lucas is there?" Riley asks, beginning to feel nauseated._

 _"_ _I'll call you when I know more. Don't worry about it, Riles, we can handle this one."_

Riley blinks and returns to her office, shutting off the computer and grabbing her bag for the night. Just as she's about to leave, she turns around and grabs the unopened letter from her drawer; Shoving it in the pocket of her jacket. Digging out all the past memories for the last few weeks is an oddly cleansing process and she finds that the sting is slowly coming out of them.

Talking to Lucas had made her feel lighter somehow and she has this strange and uncertain feeling that something good is coming her way. She places a hand on her stomach, trying to imagine it extended before her or filled with another living being and a smile spreads across her face.

There's a flyer taped to the door of the practice and Riley pauses as she takes in the picture of Roy, the candidate to die for. Oddly enough the high school seems to have been taken with it and Farkle is now pressuring Roy to ride in a parade float through town dressed as the Grim Reaper. She doesn't have the heart to mention to Roy that she's also seen Farkle pricing out hearses. The founder's day parade is several weeks away and Riley's surprised to find that she's looking forward to it.

"You seem chipper," Farkle greets her as she enters the carriage house.

He's made dinner, with the help of Zay, via webchat and Riley's mouth starts watering at the smells coming from her kitchen.

"You're not a bad roommate," Riley smiled at him, tossing her jacket on the bed and untucking her blouse from her skirt, "Let me go get changed and we can eat."

"I've been asked to speak at graduation," Farkle informed her, when she left the bathroom dressed in her pajamas.

They've just hit February and graduation is already all anyone will talk about. That, and how they managed to avoid a winter with only minimal snow. She knows that they're probably going to be complaining when they're in the middle of a drought that summer, but she's never been good at driving in the snow and is glad she hasn't had to brave that obstacle, yet.

"You haven't had enough of graduation speeches?" Riley asked, sinking down at the kitchen table and smiling as Farkle took off her pink apron. He makes a pretty good housewife.

"Smackle wasn't considered for this one," Farkle smirked, handing her a fork and sitting down across from her.

"I wonder why," Riley laughed, taking a bite of the corn bread and groaning as the taste registered.

"I should have been Valedictorian, Riley, it was all clearly rigged," Farkle said, digging into his own food.

"Salutatorian is nothing to laugh at with a class our size," Riley assured him.

"That didn't stop, Maya," Farkle pointed out.

 _Maya spends six weeks in a rehab facility and refuses to let anyone see her. Riley sends letters and mostly feels guilty that she didn't see what was going on. If Riley had bothered to tell someone about the partying, maybe someone would have stopped Maya before she got to this point. Once upon a time, it had been Riley's job to stop Maya before she got in too deep and she can't believe how she's let everything become so messed up._

 _Her uncle Shawn spends the entire six weeks there and has flowers sent to Maya every day. Katy and him have been playing around with the idea of being something for years; but both of them have plenty of commitment issues. Riley think that this might be their turning point._

 _Maya comes back more like her old self, though the way she keeps looking at Lucas, stirs up feelings of frustration and jealousy in Riley. She may love Maya like a sister, but she's still holding out hope that she and Lucas will find their way back to each other._

 _"_ _Can we talk?" Maya asks, hesitating just outside of the bay window. Riley's doing her homework on the bed and for a second she wants to deny Maya's request._

 _"_ _Of course," Riley agrees, moving over to join her._

 _"_ _I owe you an explanation," she admitted, watching her lap intently, "You know I've always had a tendency to take things too far."_

 _"_ _This was a little bit more than too far, Maya," Riley pointed out, trying to read the expressions crossing her best friend's face._

 _"_ _I know, it started with the drinking and the parties. You had Lucas and Farkle had debate and for the first time I felt like I was on my own," Maya explained._

 _"_ _I went with you to those parties," Riley reminded her._

 _"_ _You went for Lucas. He was your everything and I spent a really long time hating him for that," Maya paused as she seemed to get back on track, "After what happened with that guy, who tried to force himself on me, I couldn't sleep, I kept having these nightmares that would keep me up at night. Someone at my art camp suggested these pills that could help me sleep."_

 _"_ _Maya," Riley sighed, reaching across the distance between them to take her hand._

 _"_ _They worked and for a while I needed that, but I don't think I'm addicted to them. My therapist has been working with me on dealing with my issues and I'm sleeping better," Maya admitted, squeezing Riley's hand._

 _"_ _Why didn't you tell me?" Riley asked, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes._

 _"_ _I knew that you didn't want him at that party, but I dragged him along anyway. It was my fault that he got in that fight," Maya admitted, wiping away several tears of her own._

 _"_ _That wasn't your fault," Riley assured her._

 _"_ _I know that, now. Lucas and I talked about it and he helped me to see that we both made our own mistakes," Maya said, forcing a smile._

 _"_ _That's good that you worked things out," Riley said mechanically._

 _"_ _I know that you're probably upset that I didn't call you when I got arrested, but I just couldn't have you see how badly I had messed up this time," Maya added, looking relieved to be resolving things._

 _"_ _But you called Lucas," Riley pointed out._

 _"_ _There's this darkness inside of me, Riles, and it scares me. Lucas gets it because he has his own darkness to fight," Maya attempted to explain._

 _"_ _And I couldn't possibly understand?" Riley asked, her voice going cold._

 _"_ _You sleep with a bunny nightlight and have Cory and Topanga for parents. So, no I think this is one thing that you can't understand," Maya said, reacting to Riley's tone._

"So, have I buttered you up enough for a serious discussion?" Farkle asked, leaning back in his seat and watching her intently.

"I don't know that I have the energy for it," Riley admitted, placing her chin in one hand.

"I've been her for awhile now and we're not getting anywhere," Farkle sighed.

"I'll make you a deal; I ask a question and you have to answer honestly and you can ask a question and I have to answer honestly," Riley suggested.

"Okay, but I get to go first," Farkle insisted.

"Fine," Riley agreed, gesturing for him to go ahead.

"What are you thinking about?" Farkle asked and Riley almost smiled that he had picked that specific question. She might have told him anyway if he'd asked, then again maybe not.

"There's this letter in my pocket," Riley said, staring intently at the knots of wood on the table, "It came in a wedding announcement."

"Are you going to open it?" Farkle asked, leaning back in his seat.

"I haven't decided, yet," Riley admitted, deciding to let the second one slide, "Did you know when Maya started using again?"

"No, she was pretty good at hiding it from all of us," Farkle replied, his face going grim, "And do you really think we would have let things spiral so far out of control if we had known?"

 _"_ _What's going on?" Riley asked as her father pulled her out of class and started walking towards the entrance to the school._

 _"_ _Something's happened, Riley. We need to get to the hospital," her father said, using the tone of voice he only used when things were really serious._

 _She doesn't ask him questions as they go to Mount Sinai because she's not entirely sure that she's ready for the answers. A thousand scenarios are playing in her head; all involving her mother or Auggie, worst case both._

 _Her father leads her in the main entrance and Katy is sobbing hysterically in the lobby, still dressed in her waitress uniform. Her mother's in a business suit, with both of her arms wrapped tightly around the sobbing woman and a look of pure and complete fear on her own face._

 _"_ _What happened?" Riley turned to her father, unspeakable terror settling in her gut._

 _"_ _Maya didn't wake up this morning," Cory whispered and Riley's world started to spin._

 _It was Riley's second out-of-body experience, but things were happening so quickly that Riley could barely process them anyway. They sat waiting for a long time and then they were being told that Maya's kidneys were failing and that she needed a transplant and Riley was getting to tested to see if she was a match, along with the rest of her family._

 _As they waited for results, what was happening finally hit Riley, and she found herself bolting to the bathroom, where she lost most of what she had eaten that day and sat gasping for air on the bathroom floor. She's not sure how long she sat there, before she pulled herself together and stopped to wash her face outside the stall._

 _"_ _Hi," a voice greeted her as she stepped out of the bathroom._

 _"_ _Lucas," Riley hesitated, unsure if this situation constituted a truce, "I meant to text you, how did you find out?"_

 _"_ _I was already here, I ran into your Mom in the cafeteria," he admitted, hesitantly reaching out a hand to steady her. She hadn't even realized she was swaying._

 _"_ _What were you doing here?" Riley asked, blankly._

 _"_ _I was visiting my brother," he admitted and Riley looked up in surprise._

 _"_ _Is he okay?" Riley asked, the distraction enough to pull her out of her current situation._

 _"_ _He has leukemia," Lucas admitted, "Going on three years."_

 _"_ _You never told me," Riley said, moving to collapse in a chair that was positioned in the hallway._

 _"_ _Talking about it, made it real," Lucas repeated her words and she dropped her head into her hands._

 _"_ _Everything is such a mess," Riley groaned. She felt like crying, but there was such a weariness in her that she couldn't manage to even find the tears._

 _"_ _It doesn't feel real," Lucas admitted._

 _"_ _Riley, they have the results," Topanga broke into their conversation, gently laying a hand on her daughter's shoulder._

 _Riley was pulled into a room with just her parents and the doctor and somehow she knew exactly what was going to be said before the doctor even opened his mouth._

 _"_ _I'm a match," Riley whispered._

 _There are some people in your life who just know you'll give a kidney to, or half your liver, or whatever else they need to make them whole. Riley's spent her entire life trying to make Maya whole and so it's not really a decision that she has to think through._

 _"_ _There are some changes that you'll have to adjust to after donating a kidney," the doctor informs them. Riley barely listens to most of them, though she can tell from her parents faces that they aren't overly pleasant. It's the last one that really catches her attention, "We don't recommend pregnancy after donating an organ. I know you aren't thinking about it right now, but having a baby puts a significant strain on your body and without the extra kidney, any pregnancy that you would have would be very high risk."_

 _"_ _I'll never be a mother," Riley spoke the words, trying to see how they felt in her mouth._

 _"_ _There are other options," the doctor offered and she could see her parents looking over her face._

 _It would be so easy to say that Maya put herself in this situation because she always did and all Riley wanted to do was be mad at her. However, at the end of the day, it was her best friend's life and she always knew what she would do._

 _"_ _I want to do it," Riley turned to her parents, seeing the conflicted looks on their faces._

 _As her parents started filling out paperwork, Riley sunk into a chair next to Lucas. Farkle was on his way, after Lucas had texted him and Riley figured that he would probably be annoyed that Riley hadn't said anything to him herself. She momentarily thought about telling him that she had this one handled herself._

 _"_ _Have you ever noticed that you don't know how much you want something until you can't have it?" Riley asked him, one hand resting on her lower stomach._

 _"_ _Yeah, I've noticed," he grabbed her other hand, threading his fingers with hers._

 _"_ _We found another match," Katy said, hurrying into the waiting room, "Kermit was tested and he's a match, he's on his way right now."_

 _"_ _Maya wouldn't want his kidney," Riley pointed out, feeling the need to speak for her friend when she couldn't._

 _"_ _She'd rather deal with having her father's kidney, then take Rileys'," Lucas cut her off._

 _"_ _After everything that he's done, this is the least that he can do," Katy added._

"I made an appointment with a fertility specialist," Riley revealed, unable to continue on the current track of conversation.

"When?" Farkle asked, resigned to taking whatever Riley was willing to give him and not pushing when he knew she couldn't handle it.

"Next week, I'll fly out to LA on Sunday, go in for an appointment on Monday, and if everything looks good, they'll inseminate me on Thursday," Riley informed him.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Farkle asked.

"I think this is something that I have to do on my own," Riley replied, smiling at him as she took their dishes to the sink.

"Having a baby isn't something you do on your own," Farkle snorted.

"I'm not having a baby next week, I'm just trying to get pregnant," Riley laughed, turning on the water to run over the dirty dishes.

"You're sure you aren't just doing this in reaction to Lucas and Maya?" Farkle questioned.

"Do you remember Nick's funeral?" Riley asked, referencing Lucas's younger brother.

"I try not to," Farkle replied, coming beside her to dry the dishes.

"He didn't turn to me when his brother died, Farkle, he turned to Maya. The two of them healed from everything that had happened together. Maya had a physical problem that he could support her through and see actual progress and she had plenty of experience with dealing with grief. I knew after that, that whatever they felt together was real."

"Just because it's real, doesn't mean that what he had with you isn't," Farkle pointed out, "And you don't even know what kind of relationship that forged."

"We just never got the timing right and whenever we did one of us did something to mess it up," Riley sighed, "But having a baby, this is something that I can do and I'm not going to miss out on any more chances to do it."

"He's making a mistake, Riley. We both know it because we know that nothing between Maya and Lucas has ever lasted long-term. They burn and then they die out. I know that you're hurting and that there's a lot of history there, but it's not too late to do something," Farkle insisted, his hands resting on her shoulders as he tried to get her to understand.

"It is too late, Farkle," Riley snapped, pulling out of his grasp and locking herself in the bathroom.

 _The day of the funeral is sunny and bright. Riley only met Nick once or twice over all of the years that she's known Lucas and she can't help feeling like she's failed Lucas somehow. She's not sure how she missed all of the tension in his home life or the shadows under Lucas's eyes. She feels like she's spent most of her high school years completely absorbed in herself and she's missed everything that was happening around her._

 _Riley's parents fly out with her to help bury Nick at home. She's both happy and sad to see that things have changed so little since she was last in Texas. You can still see dozens of constellations in the sky at night and the memorial is held around a campfire the night before they lay Nick to rest. She listens as everyone tells stories of him; but Riley, Farkle, and Maya have nothing to share. She feels out of place the entire time that she's there and yet she knows that she never would have forgiven herself if she wasn't._

 _Maya gets a brief release from rehab to go and Riley can tell that Maya's thinking about what her own funeral would have been like. She's been different since she almost died and Riley can see that something is changing. Maya holds Lucas's hand through the memorial and again through the graveside the next day and Riley feels at a loss of how to comfort him._

 _Things don't change much when they get home. Maya spends three months in rehab and Riley takes Maya her homework every day after school. They sit and talk and Riley always leaves before the time that Lucas stops by to see Maya. She knows that they're becoming closer and even though it shouldn't bother her, it does._

 _She gets acceptance letters to Columbia and New York University, but after Maya gets her acceptance to NYU, there's no real choice in where she's going. Farkle gets accepted into more universities then she can count, but in a twist that she didn't see coming decides to go to Harvard, despite never mentioning an interest before. Lucas applies to lots of out-of-state colleges, but Farkle later informs her that he's not going anywhere. His mother refuses to return to Texas after burying one of her sons there and Lucas refuses to leave her._

 _Riley hosts a party the weekend before graduation. She already has plans to spend her graduation day with her family and figures that she's had more than enough partying to last her a lifetime, but they need something to commemorate how far they've come. The party is strikingly similar to a New Year's party she had years ago, but Riley's ready to leave the past behind and embrace a future filled with possibilities and opportunities._

 _She helps her mother clean up after and is somewhat relieved that nothing dramatic happened the entire party. She's pretty sure that it must be some kind of record. She takes a trash bag upstairs to clean up the roof, but pauses as she sees that it's already occupied._

 _There are some places that are sacred to Riley. Her bay window, her favorite booth at Topanga's, and her roof top, which had become her refuge through the difficult high school years. She lets the door slowly close and ignores the chill that begins to set in her bones from catching Maya and Lucas kissing on her roof top. The view seems to degenerate overnight and the sparkling city lights stop calling to her._

 **I don't even know what to do with this chapter. It's the hardest one I've had to write so far, probably because it's so Maya and Lucas centric. I also, really hated trying to fit Lucas's brother in. His death was planned before I even wrote the first chapter, but it felt kind of thrown in there and it's a huge part of some of the decisions that Lucas made. I promise that we are done with the high school years and I'm not going to make Riley suffer through Maya and Lucas being together for the next few chapters of flashbacks. The angst isn't quite over yet, but things are going to start lightening up. The next chapter will be Riley going to her doctor's appointment; while remembering the things that made her want to be an OB/GYN and the obstacles to getting there(How she found herself). Then, the chapter after that is the one we've all been waiting for. Riley's going to be headed to New York, while remembering the events leading up to her decision to leave.**

 **Thanks to everyone who continues to read and review!**


	8. Sound of Your Heart

**Warning: This chapter contains heavy themes of miscarriage and child loss.**

 _Riley loves Maya and she likes to think that there's something to be said for sticking by the person that you love no matter how many times they hurt you. Then again, that's how you end up in an abusive relationship, so Riley's not entirely sure how to marry these two ideas in her head. Maya is her sister, Maya is family. Riley was ready to give up her kidney for her and even though she didn't end up having to, Riley's not ready to let all of those years of friendship mean nothing._

 _"_ _Do you love him?" Riley asks as they move their things into their dorm room at NYU. They've talked, but they haven't really connected in a long time._

 _"_ _I don't know. It's weird, it wasn't like we planned it," Maya admitted, looking incredibly uncomfortable. She doesn't ask how Riley knows about her and Lucas; despite the two not going public, yet._

 _"_ _He was my first_ everything _, Maya. So for our friendship to get past this, I need you to tell me that whatever is between the two of you is worth all of this," Riley said, keeping her back to Maya._

 _"_ _It's my first real relationship, Riles. I don't have a clue what I'm feeling or what I'm doing. All I know is that I have self-destructive tendencies and this very well might be one of them," Maya admitted and Riley almost feels bad for pushing. Almost being the operative word._

 _"_ _He has those, too, and I don't know that I can handle either of you self-destructing again. So, you need to be sure that this is what you want because it's going to change everything," Riley said, turning to look at her for the first time._

 _"_ _I know," Maya agrees._

"So, you're like Addison Montgomery?" the girl next to her on the plane asks. She can't be more than fourteen and she seems bubbly. Fortunately, Riley lived off of _Private Practice_ and _Grey's Anatomy_ in medical school, so she gets the reference.

"If you mean in the way that both of us deliver babies," Riley shrugs, unsure where this conversation is going.

"You've never cheated on your husband?" the girl asks curiously.

"I've never been married," Riley replied, shrugging off the bizarre questions. Farkle's at home painting a hearse bright purple, so really, what's one more oddity in her life.

"Isn't it weird how Addison started out as the bad guy and becomes completely relatable?" the girl asks and Riley shrugs and settles in for a conversation on TV shows.

"You can relate to cheating on a husband?" Riley raises an eyebrow, carefully phrasing the question so that she won't offend her.

"I can relate to the idea that sometimes people do desperate things when they want to get someone's attention," the girl replied, taking a minute to think over Riley's question.

"Doesn't make it right," Riley mused, biting her lip as she contemplates what the teenager is saying.

"No, but it doesn't mean you can't understand it," the girl pointed out, taking a sip of her drink, "What made you decide to be a doctor?"

"I loved science growing up and I loved taking care of people. That pretty much sums up my job," Riley smiled, playing with the ring that dangled from a chain around her neck. She'd found it in her bedside drawer that morning and impulsively put it on.

"There's got to be more to it than that," the girl presses, looking at her expectantly.

"Fair enough, but it's kind of a long story," Riley decides to indulge her.

"I've got time," the girl shrugged, looking at Riley expectantly. She reminds Riley of Auggie in a way and it somehow endears this complete stranger to her.

 _Riley makes it through her first year of college and has finished up most of her general education coursework. She's spent half the time working at a temp. agency and she can easily say that she's crossed dozens and dozens of jobs off her list of what she wants to do with the rest of her life. It's quickly coming down to the time when she needs to make a decision, but Riley has no real idea of what she wants to do._

 _Maya's first year is a lot different. Riley watches as Maya struggles her way through classes that don't interest her and scrapes by with grades that are barely passing for the first semester. Maya spends her second semester taking any art class that she can get and Riley starts to recognize her best friend again. She's featured all over the campus and several galleries in the area pick up some of her artwork. Despite the uneasy entrance into adulthood, Maya starts to flourish and Riley can't help, but be jealous. More then that, she's proud of her._

 _Living together has both brought them together and torn them apart. They drive each other crazy over stupid things like buying groceries and whose turn it is to clean, but Maya drags Riley into the college experience in a way that Riley never would have been able to do on her own. They go to poetry readings and plays. Avoiding the wilder side of college, Maya drags Riley to every museum in the city and teaches her to appreciate artwork that Riley wouldn't have understood on her own. They go on midnight ice cream runs in their pajamas and get their palms read on a street corner at 3 a.m._

 _They don't talk about Lucas and Maya's relationship after that single conversation when they were moving in and Maya goes out of her way to keep Riley from having to see them together. She wouldn't even know they were dating, if it weren't for the occasional update from Zay, whose taking classes at the Culinary Institute of America. (He tells anyone who asks that he's in training at the CIA.) But Riley hasn't seen Lucas since graduation and she almost wonders if it's better that way._

 _Riley tries out speed dating and composes a ten-page list of qualities that she doesn't want in a future mate, entirely based on that experience. She then, rotates through a number of blind dates and has a brief three-month flirtation with a law student who is way too old for her and asks her to spend the summer touring Europe with him. Naturally, Riley turns him down, but finds the offer incredibly flattering._

 _It's at the end of that year that Maya informs her that she's been offered a job in SoHo and she's going to take it. Riley understands the decision and can even grasp that college just isn't for Maya, but she's surprised by the intensity of how much she misses her best friend. The worry that Maya will relapse is always in the back of her mind, but even with their five call rule, they talk enough that Riley figures she would know if something were wrong._

 _Maya and Lucas's relationship doesn't last the move. Riley tries not to think too hard about it. To sum it all up; she's moved on. She'll always love him and she has a kind of melancholy regret that they didn't get a chance to really try things, but how many people end up with their first love?_

 _"_ _You can't just take classes to take classes," Farkle explains patiently as they talk on the phone. Riley's new roommate is never actually in their room and so Riley finds herself making a lot of personal phone calls to fill up the silence._

 _"_ _I don't know what I want to do. I keep going in to see advisors and they've had me take every personality/occupation test in the book. I just can't find anything that holds my interest," Riley admitted, picking out pictures in the ceiling as she stares up at it. She really wants to decorate it with glow-in-the-dark constellations, but doesn't know how she would go about it and she's pretty sure it's against the rules._

 _"_ _You need to just stop searching it out. Once you stop trying so hard, things will just fall into place," Farkle suggests and Riley wonders when he's gotten chilled out. She's tempted to question him about what kind of things he's doing in his free time._

 _"_ _I'm taking yoga and meditation classes this semester," he reveals and Riley has to stifle her laughter at the vision of Farkle contorting himself into a pretzel._

 _The conversation sticks with her and she starts seriously considering deferring for a year. She's not entirely sure what she would do with that year, but Farkle is right, she really can't afford to just be taking classes._

 _Rain is pouring furiously from the heavens when Riley ducks into Topanga's. She's on her way to sulk with her parents and probably eat copious amounts of ice cream, but she can barely see three feet in front of her face and decides that it's better to just wait it out._

 _"_ _Riley," Katy greets her, as she places a round of hot chocolates on a table in the back._

 _"_ _Hey," Riley smiles, sinking down into her favorite seat and ringing the water out of her hair._

 _"_ _What brings you to our fine establishment?" Katy asks, sinking into the seat next to her._

 _"_ _When did you know you wanted to be a waitress?" Riley questions._

 _"_ _When I was about to get evicted and my husband ran off with all of my savings," Katy replied in a high-pitched and slightly bitter voice._

 _"_ _Right," Riley agrees, staring intently at a hole in her jeans._

 _"_ _You'll figure it out, Riley," Katy promises, getting up to go back to work._

 _Riley pulls her most recent personality test and start going through the descriptions of all the occupations. Logically, she knows that the descriptions all fit her, but she just can't see herself doing any of the jobs that are placed in front of her._

 _People are filing out, carrying umbrellas, or pulling their hoods over their heads before bolting into the night. Riley herself doesn't want to brave it, but she soon finds herself the only customer left._

 _"_ _Excuse me?" a voice snaps Riley out of her thoughts. The woman is clearly pregnant, with one hand on her stomach, as she ducks into the diner. She can't be much older than Riley._

 _"_ _How can I help you?" Katy asks, looking over from where she's been wiping down the counter._

 _"_ _Is there a doctor in the house?" the girl asks, wincing and bending around her stomach._

 _"_ _Oh, no," Katy murmurs, a look of terror crossing her face._

 _"_ _Katy's going to call the hospital," Riley says, rising from where she's standing and Katy nods once before disappearing into the back._

 _"_ _What's going on?" Riley asks the girl kindly, gesturing for her to sit down._

 _"_ _There's been this pain in my lower back all day, but I figured it was just from the extra weight that I'm carrying," the girl explains, pausing as she lets out a groan._

 _"_ _How far along are you?" Riley attempts to distract her, unsure of what to do._

 _"_ _The baby isn't due for another two weeks, I thought I had time," the girl insists._

 _"_ _There's an eight car pile-up, it's going to be awhile before an ambulance can get here," Katy announces as she returns to the dining area._

 _"_ _No, I can't have the baby right now. I'm not ready," the girl says, grabbing onto Riley's arm as she suffers through another contraction. Riley tries not to wince and think about the bruise that it's going to leave._

 _"_ _Why don't you tell me what your name is?" Riley suggests, looking at Katy for guidance on a medical side of things._

 _"_ _Vicki," she replies, giving them a forced smile._

 _"_ _I'm Riley," Riley introduces herself and Katy quickly tacks on her own name, "You relax, Katy and I are going to go boil some water in the back."_

 _They manage to make it out of sight before Riley starts to really panic, "What are we going to do?"_

 _"_ _Maya was an emergency C-section, I don't know the first thing about natural childbirth," Katy informs her, pacing the floor in agitation._

 _"_ _Well can't you_ act _like you do?" Riley suggests._

 _"_ _I'm going to run over to your house. I'll get your mom, she always knows what to do," Katy suggests, her eyes lighting up._

 _"_ _You can't just leave me here," Riley says, glancing back over her shoulder._

 _"_ _I'll be a few minutes, you'll be fine," Katy assures her._

 _"_ _Hurry," Riley snaps, turning to go and help the laboring woman._

 _"_ _I didn't know it would hurt like this," Vicki groans when Riley sinks down next to her._

 _"_ _I think I should probably check," Riley trails off, unsure of what she's saying._

 _"_ _Okay," Vicki agrees and Riley hesitantly moves down by the woman's feet. She's seen videos of childbirth in health classes and she's fully prepared to be grossed out by the entire experience._

 _"_ _I can see a head," Riley says in wonder, listening as Vicki's groans become more like screams, "The baby has a ton of hair, you can do this, your baby is almost here."_

 _Riley gets her hands into position just in time to catch the tiny human that just entered the world. The baby lets out a cry that rivals the screams of her mother and Riley can't help, but laugh. Vicki is laughing, too, tears streaming down her face as she looks at her own personal miracle._

 _"_ _She's beautiful," Vicki says, watching as Riley can't take her eyes off of the new baby._

 _"_ _She is," Riley agrees, forcing herself to hand the baby to the mother._

"You delivered a baby in the middle of a rain storm?" the teenager looks at Riley in awe.

"It was a calling," Riley smiled at the memory, "I knew that it was what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life."

"I want to be a tattoo artist," the girl reveals and Riley manages to keep a straight face.

She realizes that she never learned the girls name, as she leaves the flight, dragging her carry-on behind her. She's packed everything that she needs in two bags because she didn't want to have to check anything and she heads over to the car rental with her mind everywhere, but the airport.

This time next week she could have her own miracle growing inside of her and the idea makes her an odd mixture of terrified and nauseous.

 _Riley's never experienced a high quite like delivering a baby. She rides in the ambulance with Vicki to the hospital and gets the chance to meet the baby's father before she figures that she's imposed enough. She can't help stopping in front of the nursery and staring at the tiny faces in the window who are so new to life. It makes her thrilled to be alive and she wonders if that's what all those teens were looking for at that party such a long time ago._

 _As she leaves the hospital, she finds herself pulling her phone out of her bag and trying to think of who she could call. Her initial reaction is Maya, but Riley knows that Maya just couldn't understand_ this, _in the way that Riley can't always understand her art. It's such a personal experience that she finds herself discarding Farkle, Zay doesn't even make the list, and she just can't bring herself to call her parents._

 _It takes her almost two blocks to realize who she really wants to talk to._

 _She can't tell you how she knows where his dorm room is, but somehow she does, and she finds herself standing outside of it wondering if she's really going to knock. It's not very late by college standards (almost 10), but they haven't talked in such a long time and she's worried that all the ease of their previous conversations will be gone._

 _In the end, the choice is taken from her when the door opens of its own accord._

 _"_ _Riley?" Lucas asks, looking surprised to see her._

 _"_ _I just delivered a baby in the middle of Topanga's. A real, living, breathing, going-to-grow-up-into-a-member-of-society, baby. And I was trying to think of anyone who could understand this feeling in my chest and I thought of you," Riley rambled, training her eyes on the ground, "I just kept thinking about how you delivered that foal and I'm not sure that it's the same thing, but that maybe you could understand."_

 _She stopped talking, figuring that she had embarrassed herself enough for one night and ready to go hide under the covers in her dorm and pretend that she didn't just do this, when he speaks, "I do."_

 _"_ _I should go," Riley folds her arms across her chest, her head moving in the direction of the door._

 _"_ _You don't have to. You could stay," he lets the door he's been holding sway open and she has a clear view into his room._

 _"_ _Did you know that a baby stands within the first hour after it's born?" Riley jokes, hovering on the edge of the doorway._

 _"_ _Really?" Lucas asks, echoing her own words from a lifetime ago._

 _"_ _No," Riley smiles and the two of them break into comfortable laughter that slowly trails off, "I think I want to be a doctor."_

 _"_ _You'd be a pretty amazing one," Lucas assures her and for some reason she can't pull her gaze from his._

 _Riley steps over the threshold into his room and it feels like a beginning._

Riley sits in her hotel room with a folded letter in her hand. It's not the first letter that she's gotten over the years, but it feels like it. She knows that she should open it now and rip off the band aid. She wants to start this particular phase of her life without any regrets and she buys into the idea that the baby can feel what you're feeling. Her baby doesn't deserve all of her emotional damage.

The cool, metal of a ring sits against her chest and a letter is clutched in her hand. They both feel heavier then what they should be.

 _Lucas transfers to Cornell, just when she thinks that their friendship might be on the mend. It has an excellent veterinary program and Lucas figures that it's better to already be there when he decides to apply. It's the first time she's seeing him put any space between himself and his mother, so she tries not to let it bother her too much._

 _They lose touch pretty easily and Riley starts throwing around phrases like, "It just wasn't meant to be," or, "The timing just wasn't right."_

 _She learns from Farkle when Pappy Joe dies, the summer before she's set to start medical school. Farkle's already started law school and they both know that he can't break away to go to the funeral. She purchases the next plane ticket out of New York and leaves without a second thought._

 _There isn't much of a funeral. Pappy Joe wants his ashes spread out on his ranch and Lucas ends up having to do it. Riley sees his father, once, but he's not even in Texas twenty-four hours before he's gone again. He does make plenty of excuses for why his wife isn't there, however._

 _They don't actually talk much, but Riley finds herself standing by Lucas's side as people offer their condolences and when it gets to be too much he reaches out and grabs her hand. He doesn't let go._

 _In a surprise that Riley didn't see coming, Pappy Joe leaves Lucas his entire ranch._

 _"_ _You should keep it," Riley says, washing dishes in the sink. She technically does have a hotel room, but she hasn't seen much of it since she got there._

 _"_ _I'm starting veterinary school in the fall, there's no way I can go to Cornell and run a ranch," Lucas says, but she can see how badly he wants this._

 _"_ _Do you remember when you told me we were going to live on a ranch and raise four kids," Riley asked, her heart speeding up._

 _"_ _I remember," she can hear the smile in his voice._

 _"_ _Let's pretend," Riley suggests, turning around to face him._

 _"_ _What?" he asks her blankly._

 _"_ _We both have one summer before the rest of our lives start, let's pretend," Riley explains, biting her lip as she waits for his answer._

 _"_ _Riley Mathews?" Lucas asks, rising from the kitchen table that he's sitting at and crossing the distance between them._

 _"_ _Yes?" she asks, her eyes glued to his._

 _He sinks down on one knee in front of her and she feels as though her heart might beat out of her chest, "Will you do me the honor of living on this ranch with me and pretending that we're going to have four children?"_

 _"_ _That sounds an awful lot like a proposal," Riley smiles, one hand brushing the hair on his forehead out of his eyes._

 _"_ _One summer," he kisses the hand that's lingering by his face._

 _"_ _One summer," Riley agrees, closing her eyes and trying to memorize the moment._

She can't bring herself to open the letter. She sits holding it for hours, and looks at the clock just in time to realize that she's late for dinner.

"Doctor Mathews," Lydia Breeland greets her, enveloping her in a hug.

"Doctor Breeland, it's so good to see you," Riley smiles, excited to see one of her favorite mentors.

They had agreed to meet for dinner the night after Riley flew in and she can't help, but be amazed at the home before her. It's a beachfront property and it's just as elegant as a home, with that kind of title, would entail.

"Everything's out on the deck," Lydia says, leading Riley across the hardwood floors and a number of original art pieces that Maya would have appreciated.

"Your home is breathtaking," Riley smiles as she takes all of it in.

"Thank you. I was so excited to get your call. If anyone should be a mother, it's you," Lydia assures her, opening the French doors and escorting Riley out onto the deck. Riley pauses to watch the waves hit the shore and enjoy just how beautiful her view is.

"It took me awhile to realize that," Riley admitted, settling into the chair that Lydia gestured to.

"I understand why," Lydia said quietly, throwing Riley back into her memories.

 _There is only one medical school that Riley wants to go to in New York: The Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. The school has classes in the hospital and most of the learning is on-the-job. When Riley gets accepted she knows that this is her future and that she can't let anything get in the way of it._

 _She makes it a month into medical school before Riley knows that something is terribly wrong. She and Lucas had parted ways as star-crossed lovers, though they'd talked a couple of times on the phone. They both knew that their focus needed to be on getting through school, but Riley had the thought in the back of her mind that they'd try again after they both had made it._

 _There's an unspoken agreement that no one needs to know about their summer together. Riley likes it better that way, as something that's special just between them. She lets people think that she spent the summer doing some kind of internship and no one has any suspicions about it._

 _When she misses her period she figures it's due to stress. The first year is when they try to weed out the weak ones and there isn't anyone who isn't experiencing symptoms of stress. The nausea that she has is a long lasting flu and she's heard in her classes that viruses are getting smarter. If they're smarter than they have to be able to last longer; like an entire four weeks at very specific times. Her summer was a break from reality and you don't bring souvenirs back from breaks from reality._

 _Unfortunately, one of Riley's teachers finds her throwing up her internal organs in the restroom and isn't clouded by the veil of denial that Riley's been living under._

 _"_ _How far along are you?" Doctor Breeland asks, watching as Riley rinses out her mouth at the sink._

 _"_ _I don't know what you're talking about," Riley said, glancing up at herself in the mirror._

 _"_ _I've been watching you the last few weeks and I've ruled out an eating disorder, so I think we both know exactly what this is," the imposing woman says and Riley turns around, leaning against the sink._

 _"_ _I can't be pregnant; there's no way I can be pregnant and get through this program," Riley said, pressing her hand to her forehead._

 _"_ _You've been managing so far," Doctor Breeland pointed out, "Is the father in the picture?"_

 _"_ _He's going through a doctorate program himself," Riley admitted._

 _"_ _Well, the first thing we need to do is get a diagnosis and then we can go from there," Doctor Breeland decides, gesturing for Riley to follow her._

 _Doctor Breeland keeps an entire drawer of pregnancy tests in her office and Riley's surprised to find that she's equal parts terrified and excited as she waits for the results. The little plus signs that appears on the test still shocks Riley completely, but she doesn't feel the dread that she expects._

 _"_ _Do you have any idea how far along you are?" Doctor Breeland asks as Riley stares at the test in her hand._

 _"_ _No," Riley admits, still too amazed to try and do math in her head._

 _"_ _It might be a little early, but if you want to hop up on the exam table, I'll see if I can find a heartbeat._

 _Riley silently complies, rolling up her scrub top to expose her stomach. She can't see any noticeable differences, but she hesitantly places a hand over it, as Doctor Breeland sets up her equipment._

 _"_ _This might be a little cold," Breeland says as she squirts the gel onto Riley's stomach._

 _It takes her several seconds, but suddenly, the most beautiful sound Riley has ever heard echoes through the room._

 _"_ _That's my baby," Riley says in wonder._

 _"_ _That's a strong heartbeat," Breeland smiles._

 _Riley knows that she has to tell him. There's no way that she can just not tell Lucas that she's having his baby. Yeah, the timing is off, but Riley has heard this baby's heartbeat and there's no way that she's going to give this kid up. She's just not sure that she can give up medical school, either, and she can't be the one who takes him away from a dream he's had since middle school._

 _It's easy for her to make excuses in putting off calling him. Her entire life is at Mount Sinai and everything she does revolves around school. By the time she gets home all she wants to do is eat and sleep. Yeah, she's carrying his baby, but there's still time to tell him. She's not even through her first trimester, yet. Then she decides that it's really something that she should tell him in person and she doesn't have time to drive to Cornell. But there's a break coming up and what difference does a couple of weeks make anyway._

 _"_ _Doctor Breeland?" Riley stops her in the hall. She knows that she's a thrown together mess, but she was in a hurry. She can barely remember pulling on her clothes and making the trip to the hospital._

 _"_ _Hey, what's wrong?" She asks, taking in Riley._

 _"_ _Something's not right, I've started bleeding, and something doesn't feel right," Riley rambles, her voice sounding dead to her own ears._

 _"_ _Spotting happens sometimes, it's completely normal, but let's go check you out," her doctor says calmly, wrapping an arm around Riley's waist as she guides her into an exam room._

 _Fifteen minutes later she's still looking for a heartbeat._

 _"_ _I'm going to have an ultrasound machine brought in here, so that I can see what I'm doing," Breeland decides, leaving Riley to go into the hall._

 _Riley wonders if they could find her own heartbeat right now because she feels as though it has stopped within her chest._

 _Thirty minutes later and two ultrasound technicians are looking at Doctor Breeland with fear in their eyes. Riley already knows what they're going to say. It may have been Riley who was in denial at the beginning of her pregnancy, but it's her mentor who's in denial now._

 _"_ _Can you step outside for a minute," Breeland asks the two technicians, her face blank, when she's finally given up._

 _They quickly comply and Riley wishes that she could feel something._

 _"_ _Do you think it was the stress? I've been so stressed out," Riley mumbles, thinking over everything that she had done the last few weeks._

 _"_ _Sometimes these things just happen," her mentor replies and there are tears in her eyes, "Is there someone that I can call?"_

 _"_ _No," Riley sighs, "No one knew."_

 _"_ _I don't think you should be alone," Breeland insists, but her voice sounds like it's coming from somewhere far away._

 _"_ _I'm fine. I'm just going to go home," Riley says, slipping off the bench. She knows she's supposed to be feeling something, but all she really feels is numb. She likes the numbness._

 _Doctor Breeland might have said something else to her, but Riley is already walking. She concentrates on each step, though she can't remember how she got home. She does remember falling into her bed and pulling a pillow over her head. She falls asleep quickly._

 _Her alarm goes off the next morning and she hits snooze…again….and again….and again._

 _"_ _Riley, I completely understand why you missed class today, but I would really like to talk to you, if you get a chance."_

 _"_ _Hey, Riles, I've been thinking about you. Call me back?"_

 _"_ _It's Mom. I haven't heard from you for a few days and I have a bad feeling. Will you call me back and let me know that I'm acting crazy?"_

 _"_ _I've talked with your other teachers and we can give you a couple more weeks, but Riley I really need you to come in. We should check you out."_

 _The voices all seems to blur together and when Riley's phone dies she doesn't bother to charge it._

"So, you like it here?" Riley asks when they've finished eating and just want to sit and talk.

"I miss teaching, but my practice is doing well and my husband is happy to have me home more often," Lydia smiles, "Do you like rural medicine?"

"I wasn't sure that I would, but I love Doctor Harding and it's starting to feel like home," Riley admitted.

"My brother isn't giving you too hard of a time?" Lydia asked, sipping her drink.

"He's running for coroner," Riley revealed and Lydia let out a laugh, "I feel like I owe you so much."

"You were my favorite student. I like to think that if my own daughter had lived she would have been something like you."

 _"_ _I need your signature," Riley says, hesitating in front of her favorite mentor. She's managed to shower today, but her clothes hang off her and she knows that she's lost weight._

 _"_ _For what?" Doctor Breeland asks, her eyes compassionate, but her stance strong._

 _"_ _I'm dropping out of the program," Riley reveals, "I wanted to deliver babies, I wanted to be an OB/GYN, but I don't think I can do that anymore."_

 _"_ _There are other specialties," Doctor Breeland reminds her._

 _"_ _Not for me," Riley sighs, trying to hand her the paper, "You're the last signature that I need."_

 _"_ _Will you come with me, please," Lydia asks, leading Riley down a hallway and past a nurse's station. She pauses just outside of a patient's door and knocks once before letting herself in._

 _"_ _Doctor Breeland," a very pregnant, smiling woman greets them and Riley thinks that she's going to be sick._

 _"_ _What are you doing?" Riley hisses, looking at Breeland with all of the betrayal that she's feeling._

 _"_ _You get Rose through her labor and deliver her baby, then I'll sign your paper," Doctor Breeland says, taking the paper from her hand._

 _"_ _I can't," Riley insists._

 _"_ _You can if you want to withdraw from this program," the woman replies, leaving Riley alone in the room._

 _"_ _Hi, I'm Rose," the woman speaks up and Riley really wants to hate her._

 _"_ _Riley," she reveals, moving over to check the monitors._

 _"_ _You're a doctor?" Rose asks, taking Riley in._

 _"_ _In training, sort of," Riley replies, not ready to tell a complete stranger her entire story. She hasn't even told the one person who has a right to know._

 _"_ _I was actually going to try walking the halls for a while, see if it speeds things up," Rose informed her._

 _"_ _No epidural?" Riley asks in surprise. There aren't a ton of women who like to go natural._

 _"_ _I'm not risking anything with this pregnancy. I lost four babies before this," Rose says quietly and Riley reaches out her arm to help her get out of the bed, "My husband is deployed."_

 _"_ _That must be hard," Riley says, unsure of what the right thing to say is._

 _"_ _My sister's flying in, but I'm hopeful that we have this little one here before her flight lands," Rose says, leaning on Riley as they moved towards the door._

 _They lapse into silence as they make several laps and Riley can't help, but be impressed at how well Rose manages each contraction._

 _"_ _How did you deal with losing?" Riley trails off as she tries to find an inoffensive way to phrase her question._

 _"_ _With losing four pregnancies?" Rose asks and Riley nods, "I was a swimmer in high school. My parents used to joke that I was a fish. The summer before my senior year, I went to a cabin with some of my friends. There was this lake there and I thought I could swim all the way across it."_

 _"_ _What happened?" Riley asked, unsure what this story had to do with anything._

 _"_ _It was a bad day to try. There was this huge storm and I got caught in the middle of it. I was trying to swim, but I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. I knew that I was at risk for hypothermia and I really thought that I was going to die. Do you know when people die from hypothermia?"_

 _"_ _Medically, yes," Riley replied, taken in by the story._

 _"_ _It's when they give up and stop moving. The storm eventually cleared and by some miracle one of my friends found me and dragged me back to shore. When I lost those first few pregnancies all I wanted to do was give up and die, but I knew I couldn't do that. So, I kept moving and I didn't look back."_

 _"_ _You kept moving," Riley repeated, thinking over her own experience._

 _"_ _Sometimes that's all you can do because if you stop, you'll never get yourself going again."_

 _"_ _That's pretty good advice," Riley admitted._

 _"_ _Thanks, I think we'd better get back to the room," Rose suggested._

 _"_ _Why?" Riley asked blankly, still pondering her words._

 _"_ _I'm pretty sure my water just broke."_

Riley carefully folds her clothes as she puts on the hospital gown that Lydia had left for her. She's already had her blood taken and they're almost finished with the physical exam.

"Do you have any idea what you're looking for in the donor?" a nurse asks as she enters the room.

"I haven't really thought about it," Riley admitted, crossing her ankles and trying not to fidget.

"It's a little weird, but I wish I could have had more of a selection in how my children turned out. I love my husband, but he gave all of the kids his nose."

 _"_ _One more push," Riley encourages her from where she's standing at the edge of the bed._

 _The baby slid into Riley's hands, but this time her attention isn't on the screaming baby, but Rose's face. The look of joy that spread across her face, shoots feelings of joy through Riley's own heart. She had been pretty sure that she would never be happy again, but this feeling was so much more than happiness._

 _The nurse is standing next to Riley, ready to take the baby to be weighed and measured, but Riley ignores her._

 _"_ _He's very handsome," Riley smiles, handing the baby to the new Mom._

 _"_ _He's perfect," Rose cries and Riley is surprised to find that there are tears running down her own face._

"How many kids do you have?" Riley asks curiously.

"Two; a boy whose four, and a little girl who just turned two," the nurse revealed, setting up the ultrasound machine.

"That's fun," Riley smiled politely.

"Doctor Breeland says that you're an OB/GYN?" the nurse clarifies.

"Yeah, I am."

 _"_ _I don't want you to sign the paper," Riley says, stopping in front of Doctor Breeland._

 _"_ _Really? You were pretty desperate to have me sign it four hours ago," Doctor Breeland pointed out, folding her arms across her chest._

 _"_ _I can't stop now. If I stop moving, then I'm just going to give up and die."_

 _"_ _You have a lot of work to catch up on," Doctor Breeland informed her, but her face is softening._

 _"_ _And I'll do it."_

 _"_ _Okay," Doctor Breeland pulled the paper from her pocket and tore it into several pieces; letting them slowly drift to the ground, "This is the last time I ever want to hear about you trying to quit."_

"Are you ready to have a baby, Doctor Mathews?" Lydia asks as she enters the room, pulling on gloves.

"Let's get me pregnant," Riley agrees.

"I'm just going to use the ultrasound machine and we'll check your ovaries and make sure that everything is healthy," Lydia informed her.

"You have that look on your face," Riley said as Lydia moved the wand around her stomach. Riley was refusing to look at the screen because she knew that she needed to just be a patient.

"What look?" Lydia asked, trying to mask her facial expression.

"The bad news look. What's wrong? Do I have cancer? Am I dying?" Riley asked, feeling panic settle inside of her.

"There's nothing wrong, just a little unexpected," Lydia revealed and Riley's eyes shifted to the ultrasound screen.

"No," Riley breathed, her mouth dropping open in shock.

"This may be the fastest time I've ever managed to get someone pregnant," Lydia joked and Riley leaned back in the chair.

"I haven't, with anyone," Riley broke off as it suddenly dawned on her.

"I would guess that your at about twelve weeks," Lydia offered.

"We agreed that it didn't happen," Riley groaned, burying her head in her hands, "I haven't had morning sickness, or gained weight, I moved to another state and surely that kind of stress is enough to mess with your cycle."

"Riley, you're a doctor, you _do_ know that saying that something didn't happen, doesn't actually mean it didn't happen?" She asked, looking at Riley with concern.

Riley opened her mouth and closed it again, unsure what to say or how to react.

Lydia flipped on the sound and two distinct heartbeats filled the room. Despite, both of them coming from her, neither of them were hers.

Judgement Day had come.

 **This chapter almost was broken up into two. This chapter is the longest one I've written and we didn't even get to everything. I didn't fit in all of the flashbacks of what happened after Riley's miscarriage, so we'll have to cover that next chapter and some flashbacks from Riley's lost summer got cut, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to fit them in somewhere. I really hope this doesn't come off as totally out of the blue, I tried to place subtle hints of Riley's pregnancy in the other chapters, but she had other things on her mind, and I didn't want anyone to guess.**

 **Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, etc. Once again you guys are amazing and I would love to hear your thoughts in a review!**


	9. Things We Lost in the Fire

**So, I had some questions about the timeline of this story and I've been deliberately vague about it, but I'm going to clear some of it up. Riley moved to Wyoming towards the end of November. She went to New York for Christmas the same year, and couldn't leave the airport. Farkle showed up in Wyoming mid-January, he's been with Riley for almost a month. So, our modern time is mid-February.**

 **Please read the author's note at the bottom, it's important to where the story goes after this chapter.**

"I'm the poster-child for unplanned pregnancy," Riley groaned, sprawled out on Lydia's couch.

"No sex, is safe sex," Lydia quoted, from where she was fixing a salad in her kitchen.

"It's not like I sleep around," Riley murmured, talking more to herself now.

"Am I allowed to ask about the father of the baby?" Lydia questioned, depositing a bowl of salad in front of Riley and sitting across from her.

"No, we're suspending reality for the next twenty-four hours," Riley insisted, skewing a piece of lettuce with more force than what was strictly necessary.

"The thing that got you pregnant," Lydia asked with amusement.

"There was a city-wide blackout that lasted two days. Everybody knows that what happens during the two days of a city-wide blackout, doesn't count. We erased it; whatever we said, whatever we did, didn't happen," Riley groaned and Lydia let out a laugh.

"Which really should have warned you. You know that pregnancy rates sky-rocket nine months after any kind of power outage," Lydia reminded her.

"I'm pretty sure we used protection," Riley sighed.

"How did you make it through high school without a pregnancy scare?" Lydia asked, shaking her head.

"I didn't do anything in high school," Riley admitted, incredibly uncomfortable with where this conversation was going.

"But you did take a basic health class, right? You call yourself a doctor," Lydia joked, grabbing Riley's bowl and disappearing into her kitchen.

 _Riley's phone is vibrating on the table in front of her and she can't bring herself to answer it. She knows that she should tell Lucas what happened, but the idea of actually talking about it feels all wrong to her. She doesn't tell anyone about her almost-baby. Nothing changes for everyone else, but Riley feels as though the very foundation that she's been standing on is crumbling and it's all that she can do to stay upright._

 _She devotes herself to school and signs up for a gym membership. Farkle has really been pushing meditation, but she can't stand the idea of being alone with her thoughts, so she takes spin classes and even tries out water aerobics. She volunteers at the animal shelter, but it makes her think of Lucas and she only lasts a week before she decides to quit._

 _The phone stops vibrating and Riley thinks about listening to the message, but Lucas wants to talk to Riley, and Riley can barely recognize herself most days. It's different from in high school when she couldn't figure out who she was or what she wanted to be, because she knows all of those things. She just can't seem to make them mean anything._

 _Her father taught about the gilded age when she was in high school; society's decay hiding behind a pretty picture. That's how she feels all of the time. Like she's putting on an act to hide everything wrong inside of her. She feels like something fundamental is missing and she can't get rid of the feeling of incompleteness._

 _Eventually, the phone calls stop coming, but the letters start. She shoves all of them in a box and buries them so deeply under her bed that she can almost pretend they're not there. The problem is that they call out to her at night and she knows that she's supposed to be feeling something, but she just can't find the energy._

 _"_ _I've tried everything and I'm running out of ideas, Riles," Lucas informs her, as she approaches her apartment. She's still dressed in her scrubs and she almost drops her apartment keys when she sees him standing in front of her door._

 _"_ _What are you doing here?" Riley asks, folding her arms around herself, as though it will protect her._

 _"_ _I've called, I've emailed, I've sent you actual letters. I miss you," Lucas admits and the tiny part of her brain that isn't devoted to just trying to survive, tells her that she's supposed to be missing him, too._

 _"_ _I've been busy," Riley says, unable to move from the spot that she's frozen too. She wants to brush past him, to unlock her apartment, and close the door between them. However, she's not sure that she can stand to be any closer to him then where she is right now._

 _"_ _So have I, this year has been killer, but I think it's even worse being away from you," Lucas admits, taking a step closer as Riley takes a reactionary step back._

 _"_ _I can't," Riley trails off, unsure what to say, but just wanting him to go away. She can't deal with this; she can't deal with him._

 _"_ _What's wrong?" he asks, and she can feel the way his eyes are taking in the weight that she's lost and the dark circles under her eyes._

 _She should tell him. She opens her mouth to explain everything, but nothing comes out. She can feel the weight of what she's lost just waiting to break the surface and consume her, but if she lets it out, she's not sure that she'll ever recover from it. She has to keep moving and she can't look back. Lucas is the very definition of looking back._

 _"_ _I need you to go," Riley says, keeping a wide circle of space between them, as she slides past him and towards her door._

 _"_ _Not until you tell me what's going on," Lucas insists. He tries to grab her hand, but she flinches so violently away from him that he quickly retracts it._

 _"_ _We had one perfect summer, but now it's over and this is reality. We don't work in reality," Riley says, fumbling as she tries to get her key in the lock. Her hands are shaking and she can't get herself under control._

 _"_ _You don't get to say that until we've actually tried," Lucas insists and she can hear the hurt in his voice. She can barely handle her own emotions and now she has to worry about his._

 _"_ _We tried once, remember. You broke your promises to me and rebounded with my best friend," the words don't feel like her own, but they're falling from her lips, anyway. She just wants him to leave and nothing she says is working._

 _"_ _I know," he admits and she finally gets the key in the lock._

 _"_ _Go," she pleads, slowly opening the door and slipping inside._

 _"_ _Riley, I love you," the door closes in his face._

Riley logically knows that she hasn't grown a baby bump between yesterday and today, but she can't help, but feel like there's something there. She's wondering if her skirts had always fit this tight and if the buttons on her shirt were always strained this much. She's pregnant and she's beyond the stage where she needs to seriously worry about a miscarriage. She's going to be a mother.

She finds it strange that there's two people in the entire world that she wants to tell and neither of them are the father. Well, she wants to tell him, too, but she's terrified about how the entire conversation is going to go.

For the first time in months, she's the one who dials Maya's number and waits as it rings. Maya never wanted kids the same way that Riley did, but it's the kind of thing that you share with your best friend. She's going to be a mother and Maya's words about needing to be surrounded by family are starting to ring true.

"Hey, stranger," Maya answers the phone and Riley's relieved that it isn't anyone else.

"How are you?" Riley asks, nervously pacing in front of the mirror.

"I've been better, but this is the first time you're calling me, in a very long time, and so I think you get the floor," Maya says.

"I'm coming home," Riley informs her and the line goes completely silent.

"Really?" Maya asks, the shock evident in her voice.

"Yeah, really," Riley confirms, biting her lip as she waits for a further reaction.

"That's really good. I've missed you," Maya's voice sounds incredibly tired and Riley's surprised that she's not bouncing off the walls.

"What's going on with you?" Riley asked.

"I'll tell you when you get here," Maya promises.

 _Lucas says something to her family and suddenly they're pressing down on her, too. Her mother starts making unsubtle hints that Riley can talk to her about anything and Farkle, who's doing several semesters abroad, starts calling her every day. Maya decides to skip the middle man and shows up on Riley's doorstep, without any warning._

 _"_ _You look sick," she says bluntly, as Riley rolls her eyes and reaches past her to open the door._

 _"_ _I feel sick," Riley agrees, letting Maya into the apartment and dropping her bag of things onto a chair in her living room._

 _"_ _Have you seen a doctor?" Maya asks, following Riley as she moves around her apartment._

 _"_ _Every day," Riley jokes, grabbing her pajamas and disappearing into the bathroom._

 _"_ _But one about how you're feeling," Maya presses, calling through the door._

 _"_ _I'm physically fine," Riley assures her._

 _"_ _What about emotionally?" Maya asks, intuitively._

 _"_ _I'm still accomplishing things, aren't I?" Riley asks, leaning her back against the door. She's not ready to see her best friend, but it's oddly comforting knowing that Maya's leaning on the door from the other side._

 _"_ _That's not enough," Maya insists, "Honey, you're the happiest person that I know and if you aren't feeling happy right now, that's okay, but you have to know that you're going to be happy again someday."_

 _"_ _I'm tired, Peaches. All the time and it's taking everything that I have to get up in the morning," Riley revealed, relieved to be talking about it with someone._

 _"_ _Have you thought about talking to a therapist?" Maya suggests and Riley leans her head back against the door._

 _"_ _I can't talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to stop feeling like this," Riley admits, surprised to find a tear running down her cheek._

 _"_ _I know it doesn't feel like it, but talking about it will make things better," Maya promises._

"I'm not coming back," Riley revealed, waiting for the lecture that is sure to follow.

"You know we're at a critical stage in the campaign process, don't you?" Farkle asks and she can hear the sound of chickens in the background.

"Where are you?" Riley asks, momentarily distracted.

"Susan got the animal shelter endorsement, we're getting the Future Farmers of America Association," Farkle reveals and Riley can't help shaking her head.

"I'm going to New York," Riley revealed and she can almost feel the annoyance dissipate over the phone.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Farkle questions.

"I thought you were at a critical stage in your campaign," Riley pointed out, a smile forming on her face.

"We both know that I'm just here for you. I could be in Washington running a senator's campaign, but none of that stuff mattered when you needed me," Farkle said and Riley felt tears gathering in her eyes.

"You know, sometimes I really wish I had fallen in love with you," Riley admitted.

"Me too."

 _"_ _What are you doing here, Lucas," Riley asks, pausing on the steps of the hospital._

 _"_ _This is a public place, is it not?" Lucas reminds her, spreading his arms out._

 _"_ _Out of all the places in New York City, you're hanging out at a hospital," Riley points out and then the date dawns on her, "I'm sorry, I forgot."_

 _"_ _It's okay, I was going to stop by your place later, anyway," he revealed, gesturing for her to sit next to him._

 _She knows that it's a bad idea, but she does it anyway, "How's school?"_

 _"_ _Better. How are_ you _?"_

 _"_ _Better," Riley repeats, staring intently at the knees of her scrubs._

 _"_ _I used to come here all the time," Lucas said and Riley momentarily has a flashback to his brother's funeral._

 _"_ _I understand, why you didn't tell me," Riley admits, thinking of her own thing that she just can't talk about._

 _"_ _I've been thinking about what you said to me the last time that we talked," Lucas admitted, turning the full force of his eyes on her._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, if I hurt you," Riley offered hesitantly, knowing that it was the least of what she owed him._

 _"_ _I care a lot about Maya, but it's always been you," Lucas reveals and Riley wishes that she was still that person. She so badly wants to be_ his _Riley._

 _"_ _I can't be with you. Being with you is too hard," Riley says, trying to make him understand. She can't be with him, when she can't even tell him that she lost his baby._

 _"_ _So, that's it?" he asks, his eyes darkening as he looks away, but she can still see that he's hanging on to hope and Riley can't keep having these conversations. He deserves to move on, even if she can't._

 _"_ _That's it," Riley agrees._

 _"_ _There's someone else," he says it as a statement of fact and Riley's instant reaction is to ask him how he could possibly believe that, but she can't keep giving him hope and maybe it's better this way, "Will you tell me who? Who's worth throwing away everything that we have."_

 _Riley's phone starts to buzz in her hand and she opens them just enough to view the name on the caller ID. It's almost as familiar as her own, but she lets Farkle's call go to voicemail._

 _"Someone who's not here anymore_ _."_

 _The lie somehow works; Riley doesn't see Lucas for a long time after that._

 _Riley's graduation from medical school is an affair to remember. Mainly because it's the first time Farkle's back in the states since his time abroad. Farkle graduates first and Riley's the only one of their old group to go the ceremony._

 _Farkle and Riley spend most of the week leading up to her graduation catching up with each other. They hang out at Topanga's, just like old times (Minus two important people.) Zay actually shows up and Riley finds herself genuinely smiling for the first time in a long time. It doesn't even bother her that Zay is looking between her and Farkle with a strange look on his face._

 _The look does dawn on her, however, when Lucas crashes her graduation dinner to punch Farkle._

 _"_ _What are you doing?" Riley demands, throwing herself between the two of them. No one else really seems to know what's going on and they're looking at each of them like it's a tennis match._

 _"_ _How long has this been going on, Riley?" Lucas demands, looking between Farkle and Riley with fury in his eyes._

 _"_ _About twenty minutes, but I figured that given our history, you wouldn't want an invite," Riley informed him, helping Farkle off the ground._

 _"_ _You're going to keep lying to me?" Lucas asks incredulously and Farkle is still too dazed to defend himself._

 _"_ _I don't understand," Riley sighs, grabbing a napkin of the table to wipe at Farkle's bloody nose._

 _"_ _You go after me for dating your best friend, when you just turned around and did the same thing," Lucas snaps, looking at her with disgust._

 _"_ _It's not like that," Farkle finally speaks up, grabbing the napkin out of Riley's hand._

 _"_ _So, you're not in love with her?" Lucas asks, glaring him down._

 _Farkle remains silent and Riley finds herself frozen in shock. Lucas gives them one more look before leaving the same way that he had come._

 _Riley's attention falls back to Farkle and he's staring at her, looking for something that she can't give him. He heads out the same way that Lucas did and Riley waits almost a full minute before she comes to her senses and follows him._

 _"_ _Wait," Riley demands, grabbing his arm and forcing him to look at her._

 _"_ _You still love him, you're not with him, but you love him," Farkle hisses._

 _"_ _It's complicated," Riley admits._

 _"_ _It's not. He's always loved you and you've always loved him. It's complicated when you make it that way," Farkle insists._

 _"_ _Do you really love me?" Riley asks, regretting the words as soon as their out of her mouth._

 _"_ _It doesn't matter because you don't belong with me and we both know it. Riley, you need to figure things out and I can't be here when you do it."_

 _"_ _Where are you going?" Riley asks, refusing to let go of his hand._

 _"_ _I got offered a job in Washington D.C. and I think it's better for both of us if we just don't talk for a while."_

 _"_ _No," Riley disagrees, and she still can't bring herself to let go._

 _"_ _Riles, take care of yourself," his voice becomes oddly gentle before he presses a kiss to her cheek and disappears down the street._

 **Okay, I need something from you. Based on the reviews that I've gotten and the direction that story is going as I actually write it out, I'm considering making some changes to the plot from this point and reevaluating my initial plan. So, I need you to answer two questions(if you add a review of this chapter in there, too, you get extra credit)**

 **1\. Would you feel cheated if Lucas was the father of Riley's twins? There are technically two loopholes to Riley not talking to Lucas for six months, but I don't want you to feel like I said six months and then decided to use obscure loopholes. I know that doing that could be frustrating and at this point I'm writing this as much for you as me.**

 **2\. Would you be okay with the father of Riley's twins being an OC? I'm going to be honest here and say that this one's going to require completely rethinking the rest of the story, too. The characters have taken on lives of their own, as I've written them, and just don't want to go in this direction. And I want them to stop hurting just as much as you do.**

 **Neither of these things is going to impact the reasoning behind why Lucas and Maya got engaged.** **Thanks for reading, reviewing, favoriting, etc!**


	10. Riverside

"It's going to be fine," Lydia assures Riley as she drops her off at the airport.

"I just have this feeling," Riley admits, the wind blowing her hair out of her face, as they unload her luggage from the trunk.

"What kind of feeling?" Lydia asks skeptically.

"This feeling that something bad is going to happen," Riley replies, biting her lip.

"You're just stressing yourself out, which isn't good for you or your babies. Relax, take some deep breaths," Lydia suggests, pulling Riley into a hug.

Riley forces a smile as she pulls away from her mentor, "Thank you, for everything."

"I gave you a list of good doctors. Take care of yourself," Lydia stresses.

"I will," Riley gives her a hesitant wave, before turning to enter the airport. She can feel the ring that dangles around her neck, brushing against her skin and it almost burns.

 _Lucas's phone call is entirely unexpected. They haven't spoken since her disastrous graduation and she's in the middle of her first year of residency. It's like the first year of medical school all over again and Riley's barely finding the time to do things like eat and sleep._

 _It's on intuition that she decides to answer the phone. Maya spent the last year in France, trying to find inspiration for her artwork, and missed everything that happened at home. Riley knows that she's back, but she hasn't been able to get ahold of her and she figures that Lucas might know something._

 _"_ _Hey," Riley answers, ducking into a stairwell and leaning against the railing._

 _"_ _Maya's back in rehab, she's relapsed, and I figured that you would want to know," he cuts straight to the chase._

 _"_ _Where is she?" Riley asks, her tone matching his in formality. He rattles off an address and Riley recognizes it enough that she doesn't think she needs to write it down._

 _The silence between them is almost unbearable and Riley wishes that she could say anything to ease it, but they've both made so many mistakes that she's not sure the distance can be made up._

 _The line disconnects and it feels like a door slamming in her face._

She can't sit still the entire flight. Her legs refuse to stop bouncing and she can't find a comfortable place to put her hands. Her attention is constantly wandering and she just wants to get off of the plane.

Riley's not an overly superstitious person, but something just doesn't feel right.

 _"_ _Do you want to talk about it?" Riley asked, sinking down on the edge of Maya's bed. She claims a family emergency at work and heads straight to the rehab center._

 _"_ _Do I get a choice?" she asks quietly. She's leaning up against the headboard with her arms folded and her head tilted towards the ceiling._

 _"_ _You told me once that talking about things makes it better," Riley reminded her, staring at the picture of them in middle school, that's framed and sitting on the dresser._

 _"_ _Did you? Ever talk to anyone?" Maya questions and Riley pretends that she doesn't hear the crack in her friend's voice._

 _"_ _Eventually, yeah. They weren't the right people, but it did help a little bit. It's nice when you don't have to carry all of the heavy feelings that are weighing you down by yourself," Riley says._

 _"_ _I don't want you to try and make me feel better," Maya insists._

 _"_ _Deal," Riley agrees._

 _"_ _I was so successful early on that I just wasn't prepared for the failure," Maya explains, "And suddenly there were all of these expectations for my artwork. I thought going to France would fix things. That I could get past this block that I've been feeling, but it just made me feel really alone."_

 _"_ _You're not alone, Maya," Riley points out, despite her promise and she closes her mouth as Maya gives her a look._

 _"_ _I lost my job, Riley. Do you know how hard it is to try and make it in a career like this without help? And it's not like I have any kind of back-up plan," Maya says darkly._

 _"_ _So, you turned to drugs?" Riley questions, trying to understand._

 _"_ _Drinking first. I just needed to stop feeling for a while. I needed something to distract me from everything that was going wrong in my life. I'm not married, I haven't had very many serious relationships, and now I don't even have a career. I just needed something to take the edge off," Maya replies, the desperation in her tone evident._

 _"_ _It's funny," Riley muses, "You would give anything to feel nothing and a while ago I would have given anything to feel something."_

 _"_ _Hilarious."_

The plane lands and Riley feels immediate relief to be off of it. She thought she was going to be terrified of being in the city and facing everything, but she mostly feels an anxiety to accomplish what she needs to.

"Hi," Riley hugs her uncle Josh, pressing a kiss to his cheek and pulling back.

"You seem different," he says, as he leads her out to find a taxi.

"How so?" Riley asks, letting him take her carry on.

"You seem lighter, almost like you're glowing," Josh replies and Riley lets out a semi-nervous laugh.

"So, are we stopping at Mount Sinai first?" Josh asks and Riley turns to him in confusion.

"Why would we do that?" Riley asks as they get into the cab.

"I thought you heard that Maya had been admitted."

 _Maya makes it out of rehab and starts working at Topanga's. She moves into Riley's apartment, though the two of them rarely see each other. Riley's working crazy hours and some nights she just sleeps at the hospital._

 _Riley knows Lucas is back in the city. He's finished veterinary school and is working at a clinic. She can always tell when he's been in the apartment, as though his very presence leaves an imprint, but she doesn't say anything. The imprint of his presence probably shouldn't be as comforting as what she finds it._

 _Maya had enough of her own problems for Riley to catch her up on the Lucas/Riley saga and she's not entirely sure that Maya wouldn't go straight to Lucas with whatever she said, anyway. So, Riley doesn't mention anything and based on the things that Maya says, she's pretty sure Lucas hasn't told her anything, either._

 _Life goes on, Riley manages to make it through her residency and job offers start pouring in as she prepares to take her boards. Her life is far from perfect and she's accepted that she was never meant to have children. She finds the idea of even trying again painful and she closes that chapter of her life without very many second thoughts. She gets asked out a couple of times, but she always turns them down. Her job is her life and she's pretty sure that it can be enough for her._

 _"_ _What are you doing here?" Riley asks, when she finds Maya pacing the hall of the hospital._

 _"_ _I made a mistake," Maya says, looking at Riley with terror in her eyes. She looks so much like Katy in her uniform that Riley has to do a double take._

 _"_ _What kind of mistake?" Riley asks, ushering her into the nearest exam room and closing the door._

 _"_ _It's not a relapse," Maya says, but she's pacing the room in agitation and she keeps running her hands through her hair._

 _"_ _Why don't you just tell me what happened?" Riley suggests._

 _"_ _Riley," Maya pauses as tears fill her eyes, "I think I'm pregnant."_

 _Riley's heard a lot of women say those words over the last few years, but this time it takes her completely off guard. She feels like she can't breathe and she finds herself sinking into the nearest chair._

 _"_ _Pregnant?" Riley repeats._

 _"_ _And I know, I'm a high risk pregnancy, after what happened with my kidneys. Riley, I'm only two years sober and I can't afford to have a child. It was one mistake and now I don't know what to do," Maya says, looking to Riley for answers._

 _"_ _Who's the father, Maya?" Riley's voice rings out, dangerously cold._

 _"_ _It was the night that his divorce was finalized and he made it very clear that it was just one night. I can't be pregnant," Maya repeated and Riley felt a small amount of relief that she didn't know the father._

 _"_ _I don't," Riley pauses as she tries to think through how to phrase her words, "I help bring life into this world, I don't do anything else."_

 _"_ _Well, I guess you're going to have to help me get through this pregnancy because you're my doctor, Riles. I don't want anyone else, it has to be you."_

"She didn't tell me," Riley says, trying to get through her shock, "What happened?"

"They just want to monitor her more closely. She's starting to show signs that her organs aren't functioning the way they should," Josh explains.

"Why aren't they inducing labor. She's almost full-term," Riley snaps, her nails biting into her leg.

"She's being stubborn," Josh replied.

 _Riley thought that she had gotten through the worst of her depression, but watching her best friend get to have the experience that Riley should have had, is like agonizing, torture. She wants to be happy for Maya, but Maya isn't happy about it herself, and all Riley wants to do is shake her and tell her how lucky she is._

 _"_ _I think I might give the baby up for adoption," Maya says quietly, as Riley enters the apartment after work._

 _"_ _You know you have options, it's not like I'm going to turn you out in the street," Riley reminds her, taking the spot next to her on the couch._

 _"_ _I know, it's just that I've never wanted to be a mother. And I really don't want to raise a child without a father. There has to be some loving couple out there who could raise this baby a million times better than I could," Maya points out._

 _"_ _It's a gift, Maya. If you decide to give up the baby, that's your choice and I'll support you. But don't take this for granted. You don't realize what a truly, incredible thing this is until it's gone."_

 _"_ _Lucas thinks I should keep it," Maya revealed, her nose wrinkling as she says it._

 _"_ _Oh," Riley offered, her eyes trailing to her lap._

 _"_ _I know that things are awkward since you haven't talked since, like, high school, but he wants to come to my next appointment," Maya informed her._

 _"_ _You sure this isn't his baby?" Riley felt the need to ask._

 _"_ _Lucas is my Farkle," Maya explained._

 _"_ _What?" Riley turns to look at her, unsure what she's trying to say._

 _"_ _You and I are always going to be best friends, but we've grown apart over the years. Things aren't the same way they were when we were in middle school or even high school. I moved to SoHo and you stayed here and things between us changed. And, don't get me wrong, I still love you to death and you're still my sister, but I think we just naturally drifted in different directions. For you, Farkle kind of stepped in and filled the gap and for me it was Lucas."_

 _"_ _The two of you broke up," Riley reminded her, trying to make sense of what Maya was saying in her head, at the same time as trying not to think about how much she missed Farkle._

 _"_ _Yeah, we kind of just burned out and we didn't talk for a long time after that. But one day he just showed up at the gallery with a group of friends and we ran into each other. I think we both just wanted to talk about old times and we just kind of fell back into being friends."_

 _"_ _Huh," Riley offered, leaving the couch to go change. There are some conversation she just doesn't want to pursue._

Mount Sinai hadn't changed in the three months that she had been away. In fact, many of the people who greeted her on the way in didn't seem to have even noticed that she had left.

"Doctor Mathews," a nurse stopped her in the hall, "It's so good to see you."

"Paige," Riley smiled, pulling the nurse into a hug.

"Are you just back visiting?" Paige asked.

"I'm here to talk my best friend into an induction," Riley revealed.

"Maya Hart in 308?" Paige questioned.

"That's the one," Riley agreed. Josh had dropped her off, suggesting that he drop her things off at her parents' house. She figured that it had been pre-planned that way so she had to see everyone.

"She's been driving Doctor Gardner up the wall," Paige revealed, "He almost called you, but Maya's been very adamant that you're not her doctor, anymore."

 _Lucas is watching the screen with this look of undisguised amazement on his face as Riley measures each of the body parts of Maya's baby. Having Lucas in the room is more distracting then what Riley thought it would be and their eyes keep meeting, although they haven't said a word to each other._

 _Riley's having flashbacks to her miscarriage and she finds herself struggling with her feelings of jealousy. Maya and Lucas can't possibly know what this is doing to her, but she can't stop thinking about what it would have been like to go to an ultrasound with Lucas. What his face would have looked like when he was looking at his own baby._

 _"_ _So?" Maya asks._

 _"_ _Two arms, two legs, everything is here," Riley replies, watching as the pictures print out._

 _"_ _Are you really going to hold us in suspense? She reaches over to take Lucas's hand before looking at Riley expectantly._

 _"_ _It's a boy," Riley offers and she nearly chokes on the emotion that the words bring to the surface, "I need to step outside for a minute."_

 _Riley hurries from the room, grabbing a nurse that's making her way down the hall, "Will you finish things up with the couple in there? Tell them I got paged into surgery?"_

 _"_ _Of course, Doctor Mathews," the nurse replies, smiling at Riley._

 _All Riley can manage is a sort of grimace before she's pulling open the door to the stairwell and covering her mouth with one hand. Her sobs are loud and bounce off the walls as she uses her free hand to grab onto the railing and hold herself up. It's ugly, violent crying, but she can't seem to regain control. So, she lets herself fall apart._

"You should have told me," Riley opens the door to Maya's room, letting herself in.

"Good to see you, too, Riles," Maya greets her. She's pale and there are dark, hollow, shadows under her eyes.

"You're going to kill yourself," Riley hisses, crossing the distance to the bed and glaring her best friend down.

"The baby needs more time," Maya insists, refusing to meet Riley's gaze.

"The baby needs you," Riley counters, sinking down into the chair by Maya's bed.

"I'm going to get this pregnancy to full-term," Maya says, her eyes defiant.

"What does Lucas say?"

 _"_ _I think I'm going to keep the baby," Maya announces, picking at the take-out that they've ordered._

 _"_ _Okay," Riley agrees, she's tired and living with Maya is starting to become too much._

 _"_ _Lucas wants to help," Maya adds, her eyes scanning Riley's face for a reaction._

 _"_ _I kind of figured," Riley manages to keep most of the sarcasm out her tone._

 _"_ _I just can't imagine him not being a father and he's done just as badly as I have in relationships. I think this is going to work," Maya sounds like she's trying to convince herself, but Riley can't bring herself to help._

 _"_ _So, you're getting back together?" Riley's voice is dead, but Maya seems so absorbed in her own issues that she doesn't seem to notice._

 _"_ _No, we're just, raising a child together."_

"He's not the baby's father," Maya snaps, but Riley can see the fear that's behind her defenses.

"He's your fiancé, he agreed to raise this baby with you. If you die what happens?" Riley asked, trying to make her understand.

"This is why I didn't tell you I was in the hospital. I knew you would try to fight me on this," Maya informed her.

 _Riley's seen more of Lucas through this pregnancy than she has in the last three years. They don't talk, which is almost as painful as what she thinks it would be like if he were to address her. The pain of watching her best friend and Lucas plan a life together, is enough to block out most of her guilt, but it's still there and she sometimes finds herself opening her mouth to tell both Lucas and Maya about the baby she would never have. But she knows, that she would only be telling them to try and make them feel a fraction of the pain that she's in and that can't be the right thing._

 _"_ _Riley," speak of the devil._

 _"_ _We're not talking," Riley informs him, doing an about-face and moving in the opposite direction._

 _"_ _Fine, but we're both going to be a part of this baby's life, don't you think it's time to get everything out in the open?" Lucas asks._

 _"_ _I'm very busy, doing doctor things," Riley informed him, not caring that she was being completely immature._

 _"_ _I'm sorry I punched Farkle and accused you of those things. He told me that nothing was going on and Farkle and I have worked things out," Lucas informed her._

 _"_ _What do you want from me?" Riley spun on him, throwing her hands up the air, "Do you want me to be happy that you're making a family with my best friend? Because I've been more than civil about this."_

 _"_ _You made it pretty clear that you didn't want a family with me," Lucas snaps, his own anger rising to the surface, "I tried and I tried and I tried, but you just kept pushing me away. Did you really think that I wasn't going to move on with my life?"_

 _"_ _Not with my best friend," Riley snapped, lowering her voice as people started to stare._

 _"_ _I'm not dating Maya, it's platonic," Lucas reminded her, seeming to get ahold of himself._

 _"_ _You and I, aren't talking," Riley repeated, turning her back on him and walking away._

"It's okay to be scared," Riley offered, trying a different tactic.

"Everything is going to change when this baby is really here and I'm not sure that I'm ready for it," Maya revealed, her eyes filling with tears as she turned to face Riley.

"Everybody feels like that and then your baby's here and none of that matters," Riley promised, reaching out to grab her hand.

"I just need more time, to figure out what I want. I'm second guessing everything," Maya revealed and Riley suddenly realized that Maya wasn't wearing her engagement ring.

 _"_ _I met Lucas's mother," Maya revealed, as pressed her hands against her stomach to play with the baby that was moving inside. She would press down and watch as the baby would kick back, creating bumps in Maya's stomach. Riley was trying really hard to ignore it because the idea that she would never know what a baby moving inside of her felt like, was almost too much to bare._

 _"_ _We already met her," Riley reminded her, taking another bite of ice cream and trying to focus on the romantic comedy that was playing across the screen._

 _"_ _But this time, I was meeting her as the mother of her grandchild," Maya said, "It was a big deal."_

 _"_ _How do you think it went?" Riley asked, Lucas's mother had never liked Riley._

 _"_ _She seemed excited about the whole idea. My life isn't exactly what I thought it would, but it hit me today, that I'm kind of content."_

 _Riley couldn't bring herself to say anything. While Maya was content Riley was slowly dying._

 **So, something's wrong with the reviews on the site. I get an email and part of the reviews that were sent today, but they're not showing up on the site. Because of this, I haven't been able to respond to any of the reviews that I've gotten, so I apologize for that. As far as I can tell, it's the same way with other stories, as well. Here's hoping they fix it soon and that I get all of your reviews from today! You guys are awesome and I really enjoyed getting all of your input(from what I could read of it)! We're finally catching up to what happened right before Riley left and we'll probably get to the black out in the next chapter.**

 **As always, I appreciate you guys for sticking with me through the last ten chapters! Thanks for reading!**

 **You don't have to, but I would appreciate it if,** ** _in addition_** **to submitting a review at the end of the chapter, you would copy and paste it into a PM, so that I can respond and read it. I'll remove this underlined portion when the site is fixed.**


	11. House of Memories

"Hey," Riley leaned against the office door, smiling at the man who was doing paperwork at his desk.

"If it isn't the girl who got away," Charlie returned her smile, gesturing to the seat across from him.

"How's the wife and kids?" Riley asked, sinking into the chair and crossing her legs.

"Expensive," he replied, wincing.

"I wouldn't tell them that," Riley smiled.

"I'm glad you're back. I'm pretty sure you're the only person who ever gets through to Maya," Charlie cut to the chase.

"I have papers right here authorizing me as her doctor," Riley said, handing them over.

"Words can't even begin to explain the joy that I am feeling at this moment," Charlie said, grabbing them from her.

"So, how bad is this? It can't be good if I'm consulting with a general surgeon," Riley pointed out.

"If we can get the baby out very quickly, I think we've got a chance that her organs will bounce back to how they were functioning before. I know how you feel about C-sections, but I think it's our best option," Charlie offered, the words coming out as though they were rehearsed.

"What happens if they don't bounce back?" Riley asked grimly.

"She has to be ten years sober to qualify for any organ donor list," Charlie replied.

"So, basically, we should start praying for the best?" Riley questioned.

"That about sums it up," Charlie agreed.

"I'll get her to sign off on it," Riley forced herself to bounce back, "If you get me privileges at the hospital."

"Deal," Charlie said, following Riley out of the room.

 _"_ _You're Maya's doctor?" Rebecca Friar hovers in the doorway of Riley's office._

 _"_ _I can't talk about my patients," Riley informed her, folding her arms across the desk._

 _"_ _Not even with family?" Rebecca pushed, entering the room and taking the seat across from Riley._

 _"_ _You're not the baby's biological family, you don't technically have any legal rights," Riley said, trying not to wilt under the woman's gaze. It was enough to give Riley nightmares._

 _"_ _I've never heard of you," Rebecca said stiffly._

 _"_ _I just finished my residency," Riley replied. She could ignore that Rebecca hadn't remembered her from Nick's funeral, but Lucas had been one of her best friends in high school. She knew for a fact that he had pictures of her in his childhood bedroom._

 _"_ _So, you don't have much experience?" Rebecca pressed._

 _"_ _I'm very good at my job and unless you have a pressing need for an OB/GYN, I suggest that you let me get back to it."_

 _"_ _You don't want to get on my bad side," Rebecca said, as she rose from her chair._

 _"_ _I don't think I've ever seen your good one," Riley replied, staring her down as Rebecca left the room._

"Hey," Riley smiled, answering her phone as she watched Maya paint her nails.

"Roy is refusing to wear the grim reaper costume," Farkle informed her, his voice filled with frustration.

"I can't imagine why," Riley mouthed Farkle's name to Maya's questioning gaze.

"The hearse is non-refundable, Riley, and they wouldn't take it back, anyway, because I've painted it purple," Farkle complained.

"I think you'd look good driving around a hearse," Riley managed to keep her voice serious as Maya gave her a weird look.

"It's your funeral," Farkle joked.

"Why is that?" Riley asked, leaning back in her seat.

"Because I've found us a house," Farkle announced, his voice going serious.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you say a house?" Riley asked, shocked.

"If you're going to have a baby, the carriage house just isn't big enough, and you didn't really think I was going to let you do this on your own," Farkle pointed out and Riley was oddly touched.

"What about your career?" Riley reminded him.

"I'm looking at a new business opportunity that happens to be right here," Farkle informed her.

"You're staying?" Riley asked, unable to wrap her mind around the idea.

"I'm staying," Farkle agreed and Riley couldn't bring herself to speak for a moment.

"I'm really excited about that, but we need to talk about the house thing, I'm not looking to pull a Lucas and Maya," Riley said and Maya shot Riley a glare.

"It has a wraparound porch and a barn," Farkle said.

"Is it blue?" Riley asked, oddly tempted by his description.

"With white shutters," Riley could hear Farkle's smirk across the phone.

"We'll talk," Riley decided, "But I actually need you to fly out here."

"What's wrong?" Farkle asked, his voice going serious.

"Maya's having some health problems and we're going to deliver the baby early," Riley replied.

"I'm on my way," the phone went dead before Riley could say anything else.

 _"_ _I can't keep doing this," Riley informed Lydia from where she was hiding in her bathroom. She had the water in the sink and the shower running, to try and prevent anyone from hearing her conversation._

 _"_ _Then don't, you have every right to tell someone that you can't be their doctor anymore," Lydia assured her._

 _"_ _She's my best friend, I can't just leave her," Riley protested, burying her head in her hands._

 _"_ _You can't keep torturing yourself. It's not healthy. Give her a list of alternative doctors and get yourself some space," Lydia advised._

 _"_ _You should see Lucas with her pregnancy. He went out and got her food she was craving at like 2 a.m. this morning," Riley said, trying to keep the pain out of her voice and failing._

 _"_ _Riley, get out. You're killing yourself," Lydia said bluntly._

"Ranger Rick," Maya greeted the person standing at the door and Riley winced as she saw that he had brought his mother with him.

"Maya," he said, his eyes completely focused on Riley. Riley couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze and instead focused intently on one of the floor tiles.

"How are you feeling, dear?" Rebecca asked, moving passed Lucas, and taking the seat on the opposite side of Maya.

"Better," Maya smiled.

"I saw that you left this on your kitchen counter," Rebecca handed Maya's engagement ring to her.

"Thanks, what were you doing at my apartment?"

"We stopped in to grab some of your things," Lucas spoke up, still in the same place he had frozen at.

"I took care of the dishes in your sink. It's very important to keep a house clean when you have a small child," Rebecca lectured.

"I need to go change into scrubs and pick up my guest ID," Riley said, feeling a need to bolt from the room.

"Why would you need to do that, dear?" Rebecca turned her attention on Riley for the first time, her eyes calculating.

"I'm going to deliver the baby," Riley forced a smile.

"But Doctor Hendricks is nationally ranked," Rebecca protested.

"Which is why I'm letting her devote more attention to patients who don't have an amazing, surgeon, best friend," Maya said, her tone final.

"Well, if you think that's best," Rebecca trailed off, her face saying otherwise.

"I've delivered babies all over the Wyoming countryside. We're in a hospital, with a sterile environment, and a fantastic staff, there's no possible way that I could get this wrong," Riley snapped, brushing past Lucas and into the hall.

Her fury got her all the way to the changing room, where she grabbed a pair of emergency scrubs and pulled off the clothes she had worn in. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and secured her surgical cap before she left the room.

"I've got your pass," Charlie said, handing her the clip-on badge, "And your clearance to perform Maya's surgery."

"It feels really good to be back in a hospital," Riley admitted, falling into step beside him.

"How's Wyoming?" Charlie asked.

"It's not New York, but I do like it," Riley assured him.

 _"_ _I don't get it," Maya revealed, looking at Riley with hurt in her eyes._

 _"_ _Lydia was my favorite teacher in medical school. Her husband wants to move to LA, but that means leaving her medical practice in Wyoming," Riley explained._

 _"_ _Why would you want to go to Wyoming?" Maya asked._

 _"_ _It's a pretty big deal to be offered the opportunity to buy into an established medical practice, especially right after residency. Plus, she's a friend," Riley said, unable to tell Maya the real reason that she needed to leave New York._

 _"_ _What about the baby?" Maya asked, her hand going to her stomach._

 _"_ _I'll be back when the baby's born," Riley said, despite really not wanting to be, "And I know some amazing doctors that are way better than I am."_

 _"_ _So, that's just it, you're going?" Maya asked, tears filling her eyes._

 _"_ _I'm going," Riley said, pulling Maya into a hug. Riley could feel the baby kicking against Maya's stomach and Riley instantly had to pull away._

"You will have to kill me before I let that woman into my OR," Riley informed Charlie as they hid in the hallway outside of Maya's room.

"It should be Maya's mother that you let in," Charlie offered, "But we might want to page security when you suggest that."

"When _I_ suggest that?" Riley asked, glaring at him.

"It's your surgery, I'm just here for emotional support," Charlie raised his hands, backing away from her.

"She's going to ask that Lucas goes," Riley said, biting her lip. The entire situation was far more complicated then what it should be.

"With your history, there's no way he can be in the room," Charlie said seriously.

She and Charlie had both done their residencies at Mount Sinai, despite being different specialties. He'd been married by the time they met up again and nothing romantic had ever happened, but he'd been the first person who she had willingly talked about her miscarriage to. His wife had just lost a baby of her own and they'd bonded over the shared grief process.

"Riley," Katy greeted her, bringing Riley's attention away from the hospital room.

"Hi," Riley returned Katy's hug, "You made it."

"My baby's having a baby, I couldn't miss this," Katy said enthusiastically.

"I was thinking you should be the person we bring back to the OR. The two of us, delivering babies together, just like old times," Riley announced enthusiastically.

"I'm not good with blood," Katy wrinkled her nose.

"You don't have to look," Charlie offered.

"I think I'll let my role as grandmother start once Maya and the baby have made it back to their room," Katy declined, walking through the doorway.

"I think you'd be an amazing birth coach," Riley suggested to Charlie.

"Yeah, no," Charlie disagreed.

"Farkle's flight's about to get in," Riley was desperate at this point.

"How are you going to talk Maya into letting Farkle be at the birth of her baby?" Charlie asked, as what to do suddenly dawned on Riley.

"Shawn," Riley said, "Maya will let Shawn be there."

"I'll go wait by the front doors for him," Charlie suggested.

"You're awful emotional support," Riley called after him.

 _The biggest snow storm in twenty years hit New York in the middle of November. Riley barely managed to make it home from work and Maya called to inform her that she and Katy were staying at Riley's parents' house until things cleared up. It snowed all night and Riley had to call in to the hospital and inform them that there was no way she was going to make it in._

 _She buried herself in blankets and figured that if she couldn't do anything else, the least she could do was catch up on sleep._

 _The power was out by mid-afternoon and Riley groaned as she tried to find food that didn't need to be heated up in her fridge and cabinets. From what she'd read on her cell phone, it could be awhile before they got the lights back on and she wasn't sure she was going to survive._

 _By the evening, she was bored and the light was fading pretty quickly from outside. Her emergency flashlight was missing batteries and she knew that she needed to conserve the rest of her phone battery for when she actually needed it. She entertained herself by running through the steps of different surgeries in her head._

 _The knock that came at the door was entirely unexpected and Riley ran into an end-table trying to get the door. She left the chain on as she opened it a crack._

 _"_ _Riley?" Lucas asked and Riley let out an audible groan._

 _"_ _Maya's not here," Riley announced, refusing to open the door._

 _"_ _I know, I called her," Lucas replied, "She said you were here by yourself."_

 _"_ _I don't need a hero," Riley snapped, suddenly becoming aware that she was in her pajamas, and crossing her arms over her chest. He probably couldn't see anything, seeing as she could barely make out the shape of him._

 _"_ _Well, I do, it's freezing out here and you're not going to send me out into the night in the middle of a blackout are you?" Lucas asked._

 _"_ _You're not here, so I'm technically not sending you anywhere," Riley announced, closing the door and releasing the chain, before she opened it again._

 _"_ _I thought you were going to leave me out here," Lucas admitted and something in Riley's heart seemed to twinge._

 _"_ _Me too," Riley admitted, but she moved out of the way so that he could come in, "What kind of hero doesn't bring food?"_

 _"_ _One who was just trying to make it here without freezing to death," Lucas announced, feeling his way to her couch and sitting down._

 _"_ _That was stupid," Riley informed him, wincing as she ran into the back of the couch._

 _"_ _You don't know the layout of your apartment?" Lucas asked curiously._

 _"_ _I spend most of my time at the hospital. They could blindfold me and spin me around and I'd still be able to find anywhere in that place," Riley replied, settling into the chair that was the farthest distance away from him, "Unfortunately, that means I spend very little time here."_

 _"_ _I heard you're moving," Lucas offered, when they had lapsed into awkward silence._

 _"_ _I got a job offer at a practice in Wyoming," Riley confirmed._

 _"_ _That's pretty far away from here," Lucas pointed out._

 _"_ _I need some fresh air," Riley admitted, pulling her knees up to her chest._

 _"_ _So, how long does this truce last for?" Lucas asked._

 _"_ _Until the lights go on," Riley replied._

"I need everyone out," Riley announced as she entered the room.

"What for?" Rebecca asked, looking suspicious.

"Maya, did you want Mrs. Friar here while I'm prepping you for surgery?" Riley turned to Maya.

"I'll be good," Maya promised the others, "I'll see everyone after surgery."

Riley waited until all of them had filed out to turn to Maya, "You get to bring one person as moral support into your surgery, but it can't be Lucas."

"No, that's good, that's better actually," Maya admitted, twisting the engagement ring on her finger, "But I'll have you."

"Yes, you'll have me," Riley agreed, "But I was thinking we might ask Shawn to take pictures."

"Is this really something that I'm going to want pictures of?" Maya asked skeptically.

"I would want pictures," Riley offered.

"Okay," Maya agreed, reaching out to squeeze Riley's hand, "I know that we've been through a lot, but I want you to know that I love you, Riles."

"I love you, too."

 _"_ _Maya's pretty upset that you quit as her doctor," Lucas announced._

 _"_ _I bet your mother's happy, though," Riley offered. She couldn't see him now and it was making it easier to talk to him._

 _"_ _She's just," he paused, "Opinionated."_

 _"_ _She's controlling," Riley disagreed, "She's kept you from doing so much with your life."_

 _"_ _She's different since she lost Nick," Lucas revealed, "It's like her life stopped when his did."_

 _"_ _But yours doesn't have to."_

 _"_ _This baby is the first hope that I've had in a long time, for me and my mom," Lucas said, "It's a future that neither of us thought we would have."_

 _"_ _I'm happy for you," Riley lied._

 _"_ _And my life didn't stop when I lost Nick. It took losing someone else for that," Lucas added._

 _"_ _I lost myself, Lucas, I'm half a person and I can't be the person that I used to be. All I know how to do is to keep moving," Riley said, her voice cracking._

 _"_ _It sounds a lot like running," Lucas informed her._

 _Riley used her hand to stifle a sob, wishing that she could tell him everything. Wishing that she could have been the one to give him hope, but knowing that they had both lost it a long time ago. Maya was giving him everything that Riley never could and she doubled in on herself as she tried to regain control._

 _"_ _Hey, Riley?" Lucas asked, his voice filled with concern._

 _"_ _It's nothing, I just, we should get some sleep," Riley decided, wiping furiously at the tears and moving to go back to her bedroom._

 _Despite them being in the pitch-black, he still manages to reach out and grab her in the darkness, "It's not nothing."_

 _He pulled her into his chest and it was like coming home. She buried herself in his shoulder, breathing him in and trying to memorize what it felt like because this was it for them. Her tears started out violent and slowed down, until they were just clinging to each other in the darkness._

 _"_ _I wish you would tell me what happened," Lucas sighed, his face buried in her hair._

 _"_ _I wish I could. I just can't find the words," Riley said, hoping that he could feel how much she meant it._

 _"_ _Can we just, pretend," Lucas asks, their own pain joining between them._

 _"_ _It gets harder and harder to stop," Riley admitted, her forehead resting on his as she looks up._

 _"_ _Then don't," Lucas presses his lips to hers, his hands twining through her hair and moving down her back to pull her closer._

 _"_ _Okay," she agrees, when he pulls away, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him back._

"You ready?" Charlie asks, as Riley scrubs her hands outside of the OR. Riley's best friend ring is safety-pinned to the front of her scrubs and she's watching as they prepare for the surgery inside of the OR.

"I had a feeling," Riley informs him, "Before I got here, that something bad was going to happen."

"You've done this a million times," Charlie assures her, "It's just a C-section and I'm here if anything goes wrong."

"Okay," Riley agrees, holding her arms up and entering the OR.

"It's good to have you back, Doctor Mathews," the scrub nurse smiles, as Riley slips her hands into surgical gloves.

"Let's bring a life into the world," Riley smiles, stepping up to the table.

"She should be completely numb," the anesthesiologist informed her.

"How you feeling, Peaches?" Riley asked.

"Just get this baby out of me," Maya said and Riley let out a laugh.

"Ten blade," Riley held out her hand.

Riley could perform a C-section in her sleep, but she rehearses each of the steps in her head before she does them. This is her best friend and she's not going to mess this up.

"Will someone go get Shawn Hunter, I'm almost to the baby," Riley said.

"How bad is my scar going to be?" Maya asked.

"I'm going to sew it up from the inside and superglue the incision closed, so scaring should be very minimal," Riley replied, waiting for the nurse to return with Shawn.

"You actually sound like you know what you're doing," Maya said and a smile spreads across Riley's lips.

"I should hope that all of my schooling and training didn't go to waste. I'm not nationally ranked, you know," Riley jokes.

"I'm here," Shawn announced as he entered the room, holding the camera.

"Do we have a name?" Riley asked, cutting through the final layer of stomach lining and exposing the uterus.

"Noah," Maya informed her, "Noah Mathew Hart."

"Well, Noah's has quite a bit of hair and it looks pretty dark," Riley announced, reaching in to grab the baby.

"He does?" Maya asked, her voice filled with joy.

Riley carefully lifted the baby and smiled as he let out his first cries, "He's perfect, Maya."

Riley lifted the baby for Maya to see and smiled as she took in the, "New mother," look on Maya's face.

"I'm going to give the baby to the nurse to take care of and we'll get you stitched up so you can hold him," Riley promised.

Riley paused in handing the baby to the nurse to look at him for a minute. He stopped crying and his eyes opened to look at her. There was something so familiar about the baby's gaze that she froze. It took Riley several seconds before Riley managed to get ahold of herself enough to hand the baby to the nurse.

"I think we're about done here, Uncle Shawn. Why don't you head back to the waiting room," Riley suggested, trying to keep the panic from her voice.

"Okay," he agreed, giving her a weird look before he left the room.

He had just left when one of the monitors started beeping.

"There's too much blood," Riley panicked as she searched the cavity for the source.

"What's going on?" Charlie asked, as he entered the room through the door that he had been watching from.

"It's a uterus rupture," Riley groaned, "Hang more blood, it's going to have to come out."

"You want an extra set of hands?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, I want your eyes, too," Riley demanded, struggling not to panic.

 _Riley manages to lose track of an entire night and most of the following day, but she doesn't really mind._

 _At some point, she pulls herself away to go and dig for food in the kitchen, pressing a kiss to a sleeping Lucas's cheek. The guilt of what she's doing hits her as she enters the kitchen and she nearly drops her water at the impact. She's going to have to tell him about the baby and he's never going to forgive her._

 _She groans, leaning on the counter to hold her upright and her eyes notice his jacket, discarded on the middle of her living room floor. She moves over to hang it up and a white envelope falls out of the pocket. She can feel something round inside of it and she turns it over to have a sparkling diamond ring fall into her hand, along with a strip of paper that says, "We're looking forward to having Maya join the family. Please make sure she takes care of your grandmother's ring."_

 _"_ _Oh no," Riley drops the ring as though it's burned her, "What have I done?"_

 _She picks up the ring, shoving everything back into the envelope and back into the jacket pocket. Tears are gathering in her eyes, but the hurt is nicely balanced with the horror at what she just let happen. He's going to marry her best friend; he's planning a life with her best friend. How could he let this happen? How could she?_

 _Riley grabs her trench coat, knowing that it covered everything that mattered, even if it wouldn't be all that warm outside. She shoved her feet into the nearest pair of shoes and grabbed her keys before fleeing from her apartment._

"What happened?" Maya groans as Riley sits at her side.

"There were some complications," Riley admits, refusing to let go of her hand, "You had a ruptured uterus and you bled a lot more than we were expecting."

"I couldn't let things get boring," Maya joked, as tears gathered in Riley's eyes.

"I had to remove your uterus, so," Riley trailed off as the tears started to fall and the reality of what happened hit her.

"It's okay, Riley. One baby was my limit anyway," Maya assures her, patting Riley with her free hand.

"You almost died on me," Riley sobbed, "How dare you try to leave me."

 _"_ _We're going to talk," Lucas announces, pulling Riley into the stairwell of the hospital and closing the door behind them._

 _"_ _I have absolutely nothing to say to you," Riley snapped, her betrayal written all over her face._

 _"_ _I have everything to say to you. I have an entire lifetime of things to say to you and I'm not sure that even a lifetime will be enough," he insists, his eyes burning into hers._

 _"_ _You're going to ask Maya to marry you," Riley states, folding her arms to put up a barrier between them._

 _"_ _What?" he pauses as realization dawns on him, "You found the ring."_

 _"_ _How could you do that? How could you let me do that?"_

 _"_ _I needed a legal link to the baby," Lucas explained, "But she knows that we're not…"_

 _"_ _It doesn't matter, Lucas," Riley sighed, suddenly tired, "It didn't happen. The lights are on and I can see clearly now."_

 _"_ _Riley?" Lucas grabs her arm before she can leave the stairwell._

 _"_ _Let me go; marry Maya, raise her baby. It doesn't matter because you and I were just a very pretty fantasy."_

"Maya, I need to ask you something?" Riley says, when she managed to get ahold of herself.

"What?" Maya replied.

"Noah looked at me, right before I handed him to the nurse. Maya, he looks just like Josh."

 _"_ _It's not too late to back out," Maya informs Riley as they pack Riley's car with the things she's taking with her._

 _"_ _It actually is; Roy faxed over the papers I needed to sign and I am now legally bound to Wyoming."_

 _"_ _Farkle's a lawyer, I bet he could get you out of this," Maya announced and Riley winces at the sound of Farkle's name._

 _"_ _If you stop badgering me about this, I'll let you pick the music," Riley offered._

 _"_ _I just can't imagine being half a continent away from you," Maya sighs._

 _"_ _You've got Lucas, you're going to be fine," Riley insists, refusing to look at her. She had to stop herself from mentioning Paris at the last second._

 _"_ _You know; I get the feeling his mom kind of ruined his proposal. She gave him the ring in front of me, while we were all at dinner. How weird is that?" Maya asked._

 _"_ _Weird," Riley agreed, trying to tune Maya out._

 _"_ _I know that he's not in love with me, but he loves this baby and maybe someday," Maya trailed off as she finally noticed Riley's silence._

 _"_ _You've got the rest of your lives, right?" Riley asked, forcing a smile._

 _"_ _When you say it like that, it sounds kind of long," Maya wrinkled her nose._

"What are you doing?" Riley snaps as she spots Rebecca filling something out in the waiting room.

"We're filling out the birth certificate, dear," she says, giving Riley a patronizing look.

"If you put Lucas's name as the father, I will have you arrested for fraud," Riley informs her, patience completely gone.

"He is the father," Rebecca insists, "In all the ways that matter, he is the father. Maya wouldn't disagree."

"I don't care what Maya would or wouldn't say. All a court is going to care about is a paternity test and my guess is that they'll side with me," Riley says, placing her hands on her hips.

Lucas and the rest of the waiting room is looking at her in shock, but she doesn't care.

"I think you'll find the court system doesn't favor small town doctors from Wyoming or absentee fathers, who haven't been involved in any way," Rebecca rose from her seat, "Now, your little crush on my son has been cute, but you're an adult now, don't you think it's time to let it go?"

"I don't know how you managed to get Maya's paperwork, but I'll take it now. Thank you so much for your help," Riley smiled at her, refusing to react to her words.

"I don't take kindly to people who interfere in my family's matters," Rebecca said.

Riley's retort falls dead on her lips as she sees Josh reentering the waiting room. Riley had texted him almost twenty minutes ago to meet her outside of Maya's room and Maya had agreed to tell him. He looks incredibly pale and Riley worries that he might pass out.

"Unfortunately, this isn't your family's matter, this one happens to be mine," Riley replies.

"We're going to adopt the baby. This baby will be Lucas's," Rebecca insists as Riley takes the paperwork from her.

"We'll see you in court," Josh announced and Riley turned to him in surprise.

Riley's free hand falls to her stomach as soon as she clears the room. Things just go a whole lot more complicated.

 **I'm not sure about this chapter. It was ridiculously hard to write, but hopefully it turned out okay. So, Charlie's back and we finally met Lucas's mother. She was actually based on a real person. There's going to be a month time jump from this chapter and the next, so the flashbacks for the next chapter will cover what happens after this. And another** ** _Girl Meets World_** **alumni will be showing up to help Riley out.**

 **My two favorite lines from the next chapter:** "Because six years ago I miscarried Lucas Friar's baby." and " _Farkle?" he turned his head at the sound of his name, "I expect you to come after us with everything you've got because we're not taking any prisoners."_

 **There are still issues with the reviews, so no answers to reviews that weren't also PM'd to me. I love hearing from you guys and hopefully when they fix things, I'll get all of your reviews. We've passed the hundred mark and I'm really excited. Thanks to everyone!**


	12. Letters from the Sky

**This chapter is very heavy on dialogue and light on description. I did this deliberately because this custody battle is pretty unfeeling and I think that the format of the chapter needed to reflect that. The next chapter will be a lot heavier as everyone deals with the emotions this brought up.**

 _"_ _Thanks for meeting me," Farkle said, holding out a cup of coffee._

 _"_ _I'm not drinking coffee," Riley admitted, "But thanks."_

 _"_ _You're sure that you're pregnant?" Farkle smiled, his entire face lighting up. They hadn't had a chance to talk much since the Friars' and Josh had decided to go to court, it was already making things messy and Riley worried that there wouldn't be anything left when it was over._

 _"_ _I'm sure," Riley agreed, one hand moving to cover her stomach. She'd started wearing loose clothes and lots of layers, in an effort to disguise how much she was blowing up._

 _"_ _That makes all of this that much harder," Farkle groaned, pulling Riley in for a hug. She was careful to keep enough distance between the two of them that he couldn't feel the bump that was becoming harder and harder to conceal. It was a dead giveaway that she wasn't newly pregnant._

 _"_ _You're really going to represent Lucas?" Riley asked, pulling away and sinking down on the park bench._

 _"_ _He's my best friend, I can't not do this," Farkle admitted, though Riley could see the conflict playing across his face._

 _"_ _You know I'm on Josh's side," Riley said, biting her lip._

 _"_ _We're going to have to stop talking until this is over," Farkle informed her, drinking the coffee that he had brought for her, "It would be bad if it looks like we're sharing information about the case."_

 _"_ _Okay," Riley agreed._

 _"_ _This isn't going to be pretty, Riles. Things are going to get messy and complicated," Farkle sighed._

 _"_ _Farkle?" he turned his head at the sound of his name, "I expect you to come after us with everything you've got because we're not taking any prisoners."_

"Can you state your name for the record?"

"Maya Penelope Hart," Maya said, quietly. Riley could see the doubt written all over her face and she wondered how hard she had been pushed to be here. Maya's doubts on Lucas and his family were definitely mounting, but Riley hadn't been able to get her to budge.

"And you're Noah's mother?" Farkle asked, his attention half on the judge and half on Maya.

"Yes," Maya replied.

"You had a difficult pregnancy, didn't you?" Farkle questioned.

"It definitely wasn't easy," Maya replied, seeming a bit like her old self, "I was high risk for a number of things to go wrong because of my health problems."

"Who helped you through that pregnancy?"

"I had a lot of help from my friends and my family, but Lucas was there the entire time," Maya revealed, her eyes trailing to Josh and dropping back to the table.

"Despite the fact that this baby is not, in fact, Lucas Friar's baby?"

"He didn't care that Noah wasn't his, he just saw a need and he stepped up and filled that role," Maya replied.

"So, you believe that Lucas has a right to be a part of Noah's life?"

"I do."

 _"_ _Maya, are you really going to let them go to court over this?" Riley asked, as Maya closed the door to the nursery and turned her attention to Riley._

 _"_ _What happened between me and Josh was a mistake, I don't want to keep reliving it," Maya informed her, leading Riley into the kitchen, where Maya pulled a glass out of the cupboard._

 _"_ _You don't think that Josh has a right to be a part of this child's life," Riley doesn't have much ground to stand on, she knows that she needs to start sharing her own secrets, but she was the person voted to come talk to Maya. She was really starting to hate democracy._

 _"_ _His marriage ended because he didn't want kids, Riley. So, no I don't think that he needs to be a part of Noah's life. I spent my entire childhood feeling unwanted by my father and I'm not going to put my own child through the same thing," Maya filled the glass with water and offered it to Riley._

 _"_ _He's fighting for Noah in court. Doesn't that mean anything?" Riley asked, declining the glass and watching as Maya downed it in one gulp._

 _"_ _He's just doing this to spite me. He wouldn't have wanted the baby nine months ago, but now that I have someone who wants to step up and take his place, Josh feels threatened. If he doesn't want to go to court, tell him to sign the papers and give up his parental rights," it sounds like something Maya's been told so many times that she's just quoting it, but Riley knows better than to push._

 _"_ _He doesn't want to do that. Whatever his opinion was before, he wants Noah," Riley insisted._

 _"_ _I think we've exhausted this topic of conversation."_

"I have no further questions, Your Honor," Farkle addresses the judge moving back to his seat.

"Do you have any questions for the witness, Ms. Smackle," the judge addresses Josh's lawyer.

"I do," Smackle rises from her seat, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "Did you inform my client, the biological father of your child, that you were pregnant?"

"No," Maya admitted, fidgeting in her seat.

"So, you didn't give him a chance to fill the role that was missing?" Smackle asked.

"No, but we both agreed that what happened between us was a mistake," Maya insisted.

"But you don't know how he would have reacted if you'd told him you were pregnant? He very well could have chosen to be there for you?"

"He didn't want kids, he didn't want a relationship with me," Maya said, looking to Farkle as though he could help her.

"Did Joshua come to see your artwork in a show, January of this year?"

"There were other artists being featured," Maya snapped, her eyes narrowing.

"But he deliberately sought you out and expressed interest in you and your artwork?"

"Yes," Maya admitted.

"When he congratulated you on your pregnancy, did you deliberately mislead him, by implying that the baby was Lucas Friar's?"

"Lucas is my fiancé and I'm not responsible for what Joshua assumes from my interactions."

"But Joshua expressed nothing, but joy at your pregnancy?"

"He didn't know the baby was his," Maya argued.

"But these actions suggest that he wanted some kind of relationship with you, don't they?"

"You can't expect me to know what he's thinking."

"No further questions," Smackle says as she turns her back on Maya and returns to her seat.

"We call Lucas Friar to the stand," Farkle announced, shuffling through his papers.

Lucas was sworn in and he took his place, adjusting the tie around his neck.

"You are not Noah Mathew Friar's biological father, is that correct?" Farkle asked.

"No, I'm not," Lucas agreed, giving the judge a hesitant smile and looking nervously around the courtroom. His mother is sitting in the front row and his eyes seem to linger on her.

"But you have a relationship with him and his mother?"

"Maya came to me when she was pregnant. We've been friends for a very long time and I was happy to help her out," Lucas replied.

"You're engaged to Maya Hart, is that correct?"

"It is."

"What is your relationship with Noah?"

"I'm very fond of him, he's an important part of my life," Lucas said, his voice sincere.

"You don't have any plans of leaving?"

Lucas's eyes fell on Riley, "I'm marrying his mother, where would I go?"

 _"_ _We're not supposed to be talking," Lucas informed Riley as he opened his door._

 _"_ _Sue me," Riley suggested, folding her arms across her chest._

 _"_ _You should come in before my neighbors see you," Lucas said, pulling the door open all the way._

 _"_ _You had me served," Riley snapped as she slid inside and the door closed, "You knew I wasn't on Josh's witness list. I don't want to testify."_

 _"_ _You were Maya's doctor and you've known both of us for most of our lives. Not to mention, you know why Josh's marriage fell apart," Lucas explained._

 _"_ _I can't believe that you of all people did this to me," Riley's eyes fell to the ground as tears started to fill her eyes._

 _"_ _Riley, I've been with Maya through her entire pregnancy. I want to be a father, I can't lose Noah," Lucas pleaded with her._

 _"You can still be a part of his life without adopting him," Riley reminded him._

 _"It's too late to change course, everything is just spiraling out of control," Lucas admitted, his eyes begging her to understand._

 _"Then stop it before someone gets hurt," Riley snapped, "You're forcing our friends and our families to pick sides and fight each other, there's a better way to do this."_

 _"What if something happens to Maya? She's had problems before Riley, if Noah goes to Josh, then I'm cut entirely out of the picture."_

 _"Why is this so important to you?" Riley questioned, trying to understand._

 _"This is what I gave up us for, so I have to make sure that this was worth it," Lucas admitted._

 _"_ _You started this, Lucas, and when you're dealing with the fallout, I want you to remember that."_

"How long have you been engaged to Maya?" Smackle asked and Lucas seemed intimidated under her gaze.

"Almost five months," Lucas replied.

"But you were with her through her entire pregnancy?" Smackle clarified.

"Yes, I was."

"So, you would say that you're entirely committed to Maya and Noah?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"When did you send out your wedding announcements?" Smackle asked and Riley watched as what was happening dawned on Lucas.

"I can't remember," Lucas replied.

"Does January sound right?" Smackle asked.

"Yes," Lucas agreed.

"And you sent one to Riley Mathews?"

 _"_ _They've subpoenaed my ex-wife," Josh announced, slamming the door as he entered his apartment. Riley had been staying with him as they prepared for the trial and she was cooking dinner at the stove._

 _"_ _That's not good," Riley admitted, turning the heat to low and going to sit on the couch with him._

 _"_ _I'm not the kind of person who can just turn their back on their own child," Josh said, his head dropping into his hands. Riley hesitantly placed a hand on his back._

 _"_ _We still have a pretty good case," Riley assured him, "And we have Smackle. If anyone can take down Farkle, it's her."_

 _"_ _I'm going to lose this. There's no way that I can beat Lucas Friar and you know it. His family has the best lawyer on the continent and his father is an important political figure. A judge might just give it to them on default," Josh groaned._

 _"_ _I might have something," Riley admitted, but it was tearing her heart in half to do it._

 _"_ _A time machine?" Josh asked, looking up at her._

 _"_ _Lucas sent me a letter in January. It came with his wedding announcement," Riley revealed._

 _"_ _What does it say?"_

"You sent her a personal letter with it, didn't you?" Smackle asked, going in for the kill.

"She's a close family friend," Lucas looked at Riley, the betrayal evident in his eyes.

"I would like to submit it into evidence," Smackle announced, grabbing it off of the desk and handing copies to both the judge and Farkle, "Would you read me the highlighted portion."

"Sure," Lucas agreed, his eyes never leaving Riley's, "I never intended for things between us to get as messed up as they are. I know there's nothing we can do to fix it now, but I want you to know that I'll always love you. I don't regret our night together and even if it didn't happen, I'll never forget it. What we had when we were pretending was far better than what a lot of people get in reality."

"To what night was the letter referring?" Smackle asked as soon as he had finished. Tears had started running down Riley's cheeks and it was taking everything that she had not to run from the room. She was torn between her family and the father of her children and all Lucas wanted was another woman's baby.

"A night last November."

"How long before your engagement?" Smackle pressed.

"A couple of weeks."

"So, you were not committed to Maya and her baby, then?"

Riley's eyes turned to Maya who was looking at Riley as though she was seeing her for the first time. She really hadn't known anything that was going on and Riley worried about whatever would happen between them next.

"I'm still here, I'm not with Riley."

Riley couldn't bring herself to go to court the day of Josh's ex-wife's testimony. She went to a doctor's appointment and pretended that her life wasn't tearing apart at the seams.

She heard later that the testimony of Josh's ex-wife was brutal. She was still bitter from the divorce and the news that he had managed to knock-up a girl the night their divorce was finalized really didn't go well. She spent most of her testimony sobbing incoherently about how badly she wanted children and how badly Josh didn't.

"Will you state your name for the record?" Farkle asked, looking incredibly uncomfortable.

"Doctor Riley Mathews."

 _"_ _I need a way out of this," Riley insisted, pacing the floor of the apartment._

 _"_ _You know that I want to be a father to Noah. You just get up there and tell the truth," Josh assured her._

 _"_ _There's too much that could go wrong, Josh. There are things that I shouldn't say," Riley insisted._

 _"_ _About your relationship with Friar? Because Smackle assures me that it works in our favor," Josh pointed out._

 _"_ _It doesn't work in mine," Riley snapped, leaving the apartment and slamming the door behind her._

"Will you please explain your complicated relationship to this complicated situation?" Farkle asked, apparently unsure of how to phrase the question.

"I'm Maya's best friend, Lucas's ex-lover, Josh's niece, and I was Maya's doctor on-and-off, while she was pregnant," Riley revealed, an edge to each of her titles.

"Do you think that Lucas would be a good father?" Farkle asked.

"I know he would be," Riley replied, a burning feeling of guilt bringing tears to her eyes, "But I know that Josh would be, too."

"Can you describe your relationship with Lucas for me?"

"It's complicated," Riley snorted.

"Do you love him?"

"I'll always love him," Riley didn't even have to think about it.

"Did Lucas ever mention leaving Maya for you?" Farkle questioned.

"No, he did not."

"So, even though the two of you had feelings for each other, Lucas picked Maya and Noah?" Farkle asked, unable to look at Riley as he asked the question.

"Yes," Riley blinked the tears from her eyes and forced herself to save the feelings for later.

"That was why you quit being Maya's doctor and moved to Wyoming, is it not?" Farkle pressed, "Because Lucas was with Maya."

"That's why I left New York, yes, but that's not why I resigned as Maya's doctor," Riley admitted, her eyes trailing to Smackle's. Smackle gave her a single nod and Riley steeled herself for what was coming next.

"Why did you?" Farkle asked, looking at Riley in surprise.

"Because six years ago I miscarried Lucas Friar's baby."

 _Riley entered Smackle's office, closing the door behind her and turning to face her friend. She pulled a dollar out of her pocket and handed it across the desk._

 _"_ _What is that for?" Smackle asked, looking at Riley in surprise._

 _"_ _Once there's a transaction of money, you're my attorney, right? Everything I say to you becomes attorney/client privilege?"_

 _"_ _Technically, that is correct, but I do family law. If you have a malpractice suit, you should seek a different attorney."_

 _"_ _I'm pregnant," Riley revealed, taking the seat across from Smackle, "And Lucas is the father."_

 _"_ _Does he know?" Smackle asked, looking at Riley in shock._

 _"_ _No and I'm concerned how he's going to take the news. You've seen how they're fighting for a child that isn't his, imagine what Lucas and his family will do when they find out I'm pregnant with his actual children."_

 _"_ _How far along are you?" Smackle asked, grabbing a pen and a legal pad._

 _"_ _Sixteen weeks," Riley revealed._

 _"_ _Does Lucas have any reason to be upset with you? Why would he take you to court?"_

 _"Smackle,_ _You've been in court and seen how messy things have gotten and when this is over I'm going back to Wyoming," Riley revealed, "Do you really think that Rebecca Friar is going to let me take her grandchildren to Wyoming?"  
_

 _"_ _That still does not give him any legal grounds to do more than get split custody," Smackle informed her._

 _I"n addition to that there's something that I haven't told him," Riley admitted, "Six years ago I was pregnant and I lost the baby._ _I was far enough along that I had to have a D and C."_

 _"_ _I speak lawyer, not doctor."_

 _"_ _When the baby gets big enough and you lose it, you run a risk of bleeding to death, if you don't have a surgical procedure to remove the tissue," Riley explained, "But it's a very similar procedure to an abortion."_

 _Riley could already see Rebecca weaving a tale of Riley not wanting a baby in her first year of medical school and having the doctors at the hospital cover it up._

 _"_ _So, what you are telling me is that he might have a case?" Smackle questioned, looking at Riley with concern._

"You got the miscarriage clearly labeled into a court document, that's what we needed to do," Smackle assured her as they left the courtroom.

"Riley?" Lucas called, chasing her down the hallway, he grabbed her arm before she could get any further and she was forced to face him, "We need to talk."

"I've been advised not to speak to you, until I can seek legal counsel," Riley said mechanically, forcing herself not to draw attention to her stomach.

His mouth opened, but nothing came out.

 _"I am a horrible person," Riley cried, burying her head in her mother's shoulder._

 _"You said that Maya and Lucas weren't together when," Topanga paused, "You did whatever it was that you did with him."_

 _"I just hurt Maya and Lucas," Riley said, "When this is over, I'll have everything to lose."_

 _"Not everything, you have my two grandchildren and I have a feeling that Lucas will come around."_

 _"It's more than just Lucas, I won't have his mother around my children," Riley insisted._

 _"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Until then, we protect our family with everything that we've got and you recognize that whatever happens with everyone else, doesn't impact our family. We're going to get through this," Topanga promised._

"We call Joshua Mathews to the stand," Smackle announced, leaning against the front of her desk.

He was sworn in and took his chair, hesitantly stating his name for the record. Riley happened to know that he had tried on three different suits for that day and he'd been out late the night before. He looked tired and worn down.

The entire family was in court; Riley's parents were on the front row, right next to Uncle Eric, and Auggie had skipped school that day to be there. Shawn was too torn down the middle to show up, but Katy sat on Maya's side of the court room beside Rebecca and Zay, who looked conflicted at being there.

"When did you find out you had a child?" Smackle asked.

"Exactly one month ago," Josh replied.

"And you immediately wanted to be a part of this child's life?"

"I was shocked at first. I'd seen Maya a couple of times after we had...relations, just to make sure that things were okay. I sent her flowers when she was in rehab the last two times, I've been to dozens of her art shows, I like to think that we're friends," his eyes didn't leave Maya's, "So, when I walked into the waiting room, it was a surprise to find Lucas's mother, Rebecca Friar, fighting with my niece over who the baby's father was. That was when I knew that I wanted to be a part of Noah's life, when I realized that I couldn't stand the thought of losing him."

"But you had never wanted a child previously?"

"I didn't know what it would feel like; to know that someone exists that's a part of you and someone else. It's changed my entire perspective," Josh replied.

"And you have the financial means to support Noah?"

"I have a two bedroom apartment and I've worked as a reporter for _The Times_ for the past five years," Josh replied.

"I have no further questions," Smackle said, sitting down.

"Can you tell me exactly what you said to Maya, after the night that you spent together?" Farkle asked, taking over the questions.

"I told her that it was a mistake. That it was too soon after my divorce and that we both needed to figure our lives out."

"Did you ever follow up with her to make sure that she was not, in fact, pregnant?" Farkle pressed.

"I didn't see her until the art show at the beginning of this year and a couple of times after that," Josh admitted.

"And when you saw that she was pregnant, you never thought that it might be yours?"

"All she wanted to do was talk about Lucas and her engagement. I just didn't see any way that Lucas would be going through a pregnancy and marrying her, if she wasn't pregnant with his child," Josh answered.

"But you didn't ask her if the baby was yours?" Farkle clarified.

"No, I didn't."

"We rest, Your Honor," Farkle announced, sitting down.

"What about you, Ms. Smackle?" the judge asked.

Maya suddenly leaned over to Farkle, whispering something frantically in his ear, and Smackle paused as she saw them. Farkle scribbled something on a piece of paper before handing it over to Smackle's side of the courtroom.

Smackle read it over, handing it to Josh and a smile lit up Josh's face.

"I believe we've reached a settlement, Your Honor," Smackle said.

"Then we're adjourned," The judge tapped her mallet against the desk before getting up and leaving the room.

"What does it say?" Riley asked, leaning over the divider.

"Joint custody, she doesn't want the Friar's to have any legal right to her child," Josh replied.

Unfortunately, Riley could relate and nothing was settled for her.

 **Yeah, Maya let them drag through an entire hearing, but there were other things going on with the people on her side of the courtroom. Next chapter will deal with the fall out and Riley's going to have some second thoughts about the things she did during the trial. Thank you to everyone who continues to read and review!**


	13. I Wouldn't Mind

The city lights make it difficult for Riley to get a good night's sleep. She misses the sound of crickets chirping and the sky looks oddly empty without the stars. She had never thought she would be homesick for Wyoming, but she misses everything about the life she had built for herself. The polluted city air is slowly starting to choke her and some days she starts to wonder if she's ever going to be able to really breathe again.

That, coupled with the raging hormones coursing through her body, makes Riley rather irritable. She knows Josh is leaving the house earlier and earlier to try and avoid her, but it's one of the few things that doesn't bother her.

"Your boss must think you're the most dedicated person in that office," Riley said, as she left her bedroom before the sun had even risen.

"The office doesn't even open until six," Josh informed her, picking at his cereal, "I've become very good friends with the night guard. Sometimes I bring him breakfast."

"I'm sorry, I just," Riley paused as she sunk down onto a barstool, "I just want to go home."

"Why don't you? Can't you and Smackle communicate over the phone?" Josh asked.

"I can't leave until I talk to Lucas about everything," Riley admitted, resting her head in one of her hands.

"Your lawyer can't possibly be advising you not to talk to him about it," Josh snorted, taking another bite of cereal.

"She wants me to wait until she's pulled together a case. Then, I drop everything at once and if the Friar's decide to take me to court, they'll be scrambling to pull together their own case, while we'll be prepared," Riley informed him.

"So, basically you're stuck?" Josh asked, letting out a groan.

"And in the meantime my court fees keep piling up, I haven't had a source of income in over a month, and I just got a bill for my student loans that is going to drain my savings to pay," Riley sighed.

"You know, you have another option," Josh suggested.

"And what is that?"

"Lucas might be mad at you for everything, but my guess is that if he's loved you for the past ten years, he didn't just stop. And I'm guessing you haven't stopped either. Why don't you just get back together with him?" Josh suggested, finishing his cereal and moving over to the sink to wash it.

 _"_ _Good morning, Mrs. Friar," Lucas greeted her, kissing Riley's cheek as he moved past her to the fridge._

 _"_ _Even if I were to marry you, I'm keeping my own name," Riley snorted, setting her glass down on the counter and turning to face him. Her back was pressed against the sink and it froze the bare skin between her night-shirt and shorts._

 _"_ _Won't that make things confusing for our kids?" Lucas asked._

 _"_ _Our fictional children have hyphenated last names," Riley replied, folding her arms as she dared him to contradict her._

 _"_ _That's just cruel," Lucas informed her, grabbing the milk and a glass out of the cupboard._

 _"_ _It's fair," Riley disagreed._

 _"_ _It would be easier for them to just spell out Friar," Lucas pointed out, returning the milk to the fridge._

 _"_ _Lucas, these are our kids, they'll be brilliant enough to spell out a hyphenated last name," Riley returned and she watched as a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth._

 _"_ _What do you want to do today?" he asked, finishing off his milk and dropping the glass into the sink._

 _"_ _I need to call and check in with my parents," Riley admitted, looking at the ground, "They're not going to be overly thrilled that I'm spending a summer in Texas with my ex-boyfriend."_

 _"_ _Then don't tell them," Lucas suggested, his hands landing on her hips as he closed the distance between them._

 _"_ _I can't just lie to them," Riley disagreed, though she was distracted by his breath hitting her neck._

 _"_ _This summer is suspended from reality, right? What did Riley do in reality, this summer?" Lucas asked._

 _"_ _Something smart," Riley replied._

 _"_ _Like an internship?" Lucas suggested._

 _Riley didn't get a chance to respond; she was too busy kissing him._

"Why don't you just get back together with, Maya?" Riley countered, her eyes following him as he moved around the kitchen.

"Maya and I were never together," Josh reminded her, his shoulders tensing.

"She's the mother of your child, the two of you are going to have to talk about things sometime," Riley reminded him.

"I'll talk to Maya, when you talk to Lucas," Josh suggested, grabbing his travel mug off the counter.

"It's not the same situation," Riley called, as he left the room to grab his suit jacket.

"But the similarities are startling, aren't they?" Josh asked, patting her head before he left the apartment.

Riley made her way back into Josh's guest room and flipped through the clothes she had finally hung in the closet. Most of them had stopped fitting and Riley knew that she was quickly approaching the point where she needed to embrace her pregnancy and start wearing maternity clothes. The only problem was that she was trying to hide her pregnancy from half the city.

She grabbed a flowy, floral, shirt that had enough room to conceal her expanding waistline and a stretchy skirt, before moving to the bathroom to take a shower.

Her cell phone had dozens of missed calls, but none from Maya. She'd been trying to get a hold of her best friend for the last week, but it seemed that Maya wasn't ready to forgive her. She knew that Josh was going to see Noah regularly, but he didn't talk about it, and Riley wasn't going to go live with her parents, so she didn't push. But it didn't mean that she wasn't dying to try and fix things.

She had just as many missed calls from Farkle, but Smackle had insisted that she cut off contact with the Friar's lawyer. Riley had too much to lose to ignore her lawyer's advice, but she missed him. She knew that Farkle was probably hurt by what she was doing and it was only a matter of time before Farkle and Lucas figured out where she was staying.

Riley forced herself not to think about it, as she stepped into the shower She had to keep moving, even though her entire life felt like it was on pause.

 _Riley tucked her feet under her as they sat out on the front porch. Lucas was taking their dinner dishes inside and she couldn't help, but be taken with how incredibly beautiful it was. The stars were just starting to come out and she wished that time would just stop and she could be in this moment forever._

 _"_ _What are you thinking about?" Lucas asked as he took the seat next to her._

 _"_ _How badly I wish this could last," Riley replied, reaching over to twine her fingers with his._

 _"_ _Maybe, someday, when everything is over, we'll come back," Lucas suggested._

 _"_ _You think you'll still want me in six years?" Riley questioned._

 _"_ _Yeah, I do," he replied, squeezing her hand in reassurance._

 _"_ _I'm just not sure how attractive you'll be with thousands of dollars in student loans," Riley teased, giving him a smile._

 _"_ _Take that back," he warned her._

 _"_ _Make me," Riley countered, bolting from her seat and out into the night._

 _He caught her before she had gotten very far and she laughed breathlessly as he tickled the spot that he knew was ticklish on her sides, "Fine, I take it back."_

 _"You really mean that?" Lucas asked, his arms still wrapped around her._

 _"I find large amounts of debt incredibly attractive," Riley said, managing to keep a straight face._

 _He started tickling her again and she attempted to get away from him. In the end, the two of them ended up on the ground, looking up at the sky._

 _"_ _No amount of time together is ever going to be enough, is it?" Riley asked, leaning her head on his chest._

 _"_ _Not for me."_

"What are you doing at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, Riley. You got something you want to share with the class?" Maya asked, as she stepped out of the brick building and onto the steps where Riley had been waiting.

"You're not answering my calls and you don't open your door when I come by the apartment. We need to talk." Riley insisted, folding her arms across her chest and standing firmly in front of Maya.

"Right, about how you went through a miscarriage and didn't bother to tell me, or about how you let me get engaged to a guy who was hopelessly in love with you? You let me be a consolation prize," Maya snapped, brushing past Riley and into the street.

"You knew he didn't love you," Riley protested, following her.

"You let me be the bad guy in your own twisted melodrama. I've made plenty of mistakes, Riley, but I've never let you almost marry someone who was going to spend the rest of his life wishing that you were someone else," Maya spat, her hair blowing back from her face, as the wind hit it. The sky was overcast and Riley was pretty sure there would be rain by the end of the day.

"You were just going to let Lucas raise a baby that belonged to Josh, right? You can accuse me of being a horrible person all you want, but how could you possibly justify that one?" Riley asked, holding her arms up in frustration.

"My lies, my mistakes, go back nine months. How far do yours go?" Maya countered, her eyes narrowing.

"You don't know what it's like to lose a baby, Maya," Riley pleaded, "You saw how depressed I was, I didn't talk to anyone about what happened."

"And you don't know what it's like to finally have the person that you've been waiting for your entire life notice you and then call you a mistake. No matter how badly you mess up and hurt him, Lucas doesn't regret a second of the time he's spent with you. I'm going to be stuck with Josh for the rest of my life and now I'm not only the mistake he made, but I'm the girl who tried to take his kid from him. So, no, I didn't lose a baby, but, Riley, I've lost everything else."

"You haven't lost me," Riley reminded her.

"I don't know how to feel about you right now. When I was pregnant, you were the first person I told. When you were pregnant, I found out six years later, in a court room. I was about to raise my baby with the father of yours and you just went along with that. I thought we were past all of your stupid, self-sacrificing tendencies, but apparently we're still in middle school," Maya finished, her eyes daring Riley to try and talk her way out of it.

"It wasn't like you asked me whether I minded you electing Lucas to be the pretend father of your child. You just did it," Riley snapped.

"I didn't know that the two of you had been anything since high school. Another thing you didn't bother to tell me," Maya retaliated, her voice rising with her frustration.

"I shouldn't have had to tell you. How could you have missed how much it was killing me to see the two of you together? I quit being your doctor and moved to the middle of nowhere, that didn't raise any red flags?"

"I sent you Farkle, didn't I?" Maya asked, her voice dropping as the emotion left it.

"And what did that cost you, Maya? Everything was right in front of you and you chose to ignore it because recognizing what was going on would have put your perfect ending in jeopardy. I don't think you're mad at me for lying, I think you're mad at me because I let the truth come out," Riley replied.

"You don't have any idea what the last few months have been like for me," Maya hissed.

"Then help me to understand," Riley pleaded.

"I don't want you to understand, I want you to leave me alone," Maya said, turning her back on starting up the street.

"Maya?" Riley called, but she was already gone.

 _"_ _I keep waiting for you to ask me," Lucas admitted. They had just come back from a night out and Riley was kicking off her shoes in the living room._

 _"_ _Ask you what?" Riley questioned, sinking down on the couch._

 _"_ _Why I dated Maya," Lucas replied hesitantly._

 _"_ _I know why you dated Maya," Riley said, staring intently at her lap._

 _"_ _I messed everything up with you and when I was with Maya I didn't have to think," Lucas informed her, sitting down on the coffee table across from her._

 _"_ _We don't have to talk about this," Riley insisted._

 _"_ _I need you to know I wasn't trying to hurt you. We were a mess and Maya needed someone to talk to. It was the first time I actually felt like a hero in a really long time. I got caught up in the way it felt to have someone leaning on you. The first time we kissed was all about forgetting how messed up our lives had gotten and everything just kind of spiraled out of control. It wasn't healthy and I was actually relieved when it ended."_

 _"_ _Well, thanks for sharing," Riley said, getting up to leave the room._

 _He grabbed her hand, pulling her back to him, "I love you. However messed up my life has gotten, it's always you that pulls me back from the edge. Do you remember that night you came to tell me that you had delivered a baby?"_

 _"_ _Yes," Riley replied, still refusing to look at him._

 _"_ _I was headed out to a party. My grades were a mess and I was drinking more than what I should have, but you showed up and you started talking about this amazing experience that you had just gone through. It reminded me of who I wanted to be," he said, standing up so that they were closer to eye level, "When I'm with you, I'm the person that I want to be. I've never had that with anyone else."_

 _"_ _You love me?" Riley asked, suddenly processing the words he had just spoken._

 _"_ _That's one thing you don't ever have to doubt," Lucas said, pressing his lips to hers. Her arms twined around his neck as she attempted to eliminate every inch of space that had ever come between them._

 _"_ _I'll probably still doubt it, sometimes," Riley admitted, as she pulled away for air._

 _"_ _Then I guess I'll just have to be there to remind you."_

Riley sat on the exam table, watching the screen as the pictures of her two children printed out. The babies were still tiny, but they were moving and growing. They had tiny, individual heartbeats and they were going to grow into individual and unique human beings.

"I might be biased, but they're pretty cute, aren't they?" Paige asked, from where she was moving the wand around the Riley's stomach.

"They're photogenic," Riley agreed, trying to blink back the tears that had filled in her eyes.

"It's a nice perk of being a doctor, huh? Being able to sneak into the hospital and play with the ultrasound machine whenever you want," Paige laughed, grabbing the printed pictures and handing Riley a towel to wipe of her stomach.

"I guess I'm still worried that something is going to go wrong," Riley admitted, finishing with her stomach and pulling her shirt down.

"They look completely healthy and you seem fine. You shouldn't worry yourself about nothing," Paige suggested, turning off the machine.

"You sound like Doctor Breeland," Riley laughed, sitting up.

"I have to get back to work, but thanks for the distraction," Paige smiled.

"Anytime," Riley agreed, watching her go.

Riley carefully flipped through the pictures in her hand and she was hit by a sudden wave of sadness. There was someone who was supposed to be sharing this with her, but he was missing it and Riley didn't know how to make anything right again.

 _"_ _Was that your Mom?" Riley asked as he hung up the phone._

 _"_ _She wants to know when I'm going to be home," Lucas said, setting his cell phone on the bedside table and turning his attention to her._

 _"_ _Oh," Riley sighed, turning back to the mirror she was using to put on her make up._

 _"_ _I told her the end of the summer," Lucas assured her, their eyes meeting in the mirror._

 _"_ _I don't think she likes me," Riley admitted, trying not to poke herself in the eye with her eyeliner._

 _"_ _She can be a little protective," Lucas allowed._

 _"_ _There are veterinary schools here, you know? You could keep the ranch and still follow your dream," Riley said, letting the subject drop._

 _"_ _I would be stupid to give up a spot at Cornell," Lucas disagreed._

 _"_ _You would be stupid to sell this place. It's your entire childhood and it's amazing," Riley pointed out._

 _"_ _My life here ended a long time ago," Lucas said resolutely._

 _"_ _You know, the funny thing about thinking something has ended, is that sometimes it's just beginning."_

"Hi," Riley said hesitantly from the hallway.

"Let me guess, you lost your phone?" he asked, looking at her skeptically.

"There's something I need to tell you. There's a lot I need to tell you, actually," Riley admitted.

 _"_ _So, this is it," Riley said as she finished packing her bags._

 _"_ _It doesn't have to be," Lucas responded, sitting on the edge of the bed._

 _"_ _We're both starting doctorate programs, we can't afford any distractions," Riley reminded him, dropping the suitcase onto the ground._

 _"_ _You're a good distraction," Lucas informed her and a smile pulled at Riley's mouth._

 _"_ _We have a way of attracting drama," Riley reminded him, curling up in his side._

 _"_ _That's all you," he joked._

 _"_ _I'm going to remember this summer forever," Riley sighed._

 _"_ _I believe that we'll have more of them, someday," Lucas said confidently._

 _"_ _Yeah?" Riley asked, looking up at him._

 _"_ _You're meant to be a part of my life, Riley Mathews. However bad things get, however far we drift from each other, we always end up right here," Lucas said, gesturing around them._

 _"_ _I'm going to hold you to that," Riley said, leaning over to kiss him._

"You should come in," Farkle suggested, opening the door of his hotel room as he stepped back.

"I need you to be my friend, not Lucas's lawyer," Riley informed him, as she stepped across the threshold.

"You forgot that I'm Lucas's friend, too," Farkle said quietly as she took in the rooms other occupant.

"Hey," Lucas greeted her.

 **Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! I enjoy hearing all of your feedback. There are still issues with reviews on the site and I'm getting pretty annoyed. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, I would love to hear any of your thoughts! Thanks for reading!**


	14. Before the Worst

"I have to go," Riley said, turning back towards the door.

Farkle happened to be standing right in front of it, his eyes going from Riley to Lucas, and back again. She folded her arms and gave him a look that clearly told him to get out of her way.

"Riles, you have to face all of this sometime," Farkle said quietly.

"And I will, but not today," Riley said, regretting that she had come. She should have at least called first, she was pretty sure that Farkle wouldn't deliberately ambush her.

"Wouldn't you rather get this all cleared up now, so that we can go home and start fresh," Farkle suggested, his eyes pleading with her.

"This kind of stress isn't good for my pregnancy," Riley lowered her voice, so that Lucas couldn't here. Farkle might have already told him, but Riley wasn't taking any chances.

"And the continued stress won't be good either, rip off the band-aid, Riles. I have a campaign to win," Farkle encouraged her.

"My lawyers advise me to refrain from contact with Mr. Friar, until they can evaluate my legal situation," Riley informed him.

"I've gone over everything, the most he can sue you for is emotional damage, but it's Lucas. He's not going to sue you for losing his child," Farkle insisted.

"What about his mother, I'm sure she's pretty emotionally damaged?" Riley glanced at Lucas, before turning back to Farkle, "Or maybe she's relieved because her son didn't have a child with a small-town doctor from Wyoming. Can you imagine the horror?"

"Riley," Lucas pleaded and her frustration from the past few weeks rose to the surface.

She turned on him, "What could we possibly say to each other to make this better? You made me testify in a hearing that I didn't want to, you let your mother continuously insult me, and now you want to make me relive the worst year of my life."

"You don't think that I have a right to know about our child. It wasn't just yours, it was mine, too," Lucas said, standing up and moving towards her.

"What you have a right to, or what your mother has a right to, Lucas? We wouldn't have gone to court if it wasn't for her, how much else does she get to dictate in your life?" Riley asked, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"This isn't about her," Lucas snapped.

"It's always about her. Everything you've done since your brother died has been about her," Riley argued.

"That's not fair," Lucas said quietly.

"Fine, what do you want to know?" Riley asked, staring at the ground, "Let's face this head-on, so that I can go home."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lucas questioned and Riley could pick out the pain in his voice. The sound was so familiar that she could almost feel it, too.

"We were both in doctorate programs and I just kept thinking that one of us was going to have to give up their dreams for this. The timing was all wrong to have a baby and I just wanted time to figure everything out. I was going to tell you over Christmas, but I lost the baby the week before," Riley replied, looking up at him.

"You didn't think that I deserved to know, even if we did lose our baby?" Lucas asked and Riley was surprised to see unshed tears in his eyes. He hadn't been carrying that life with him and she hadn't expected him to feel the loss as powerfully as she had. Then again, he just lost Noah, so maybe it was coupled with that pain.

"After it happened, I didn't get out of bed for weeks. I ignored all of my phone calls, I didn't eat, I couldn't function. I was ready to quit school and give up on everything, but I had a teacher that wouldn't let me. She reminded me why I wanted this in the first place, so I went back, and that was the only thing that got me through it. Telling you, having to deal with your feelings, on top of my own, I couldn't handle it. And I'm sorry that it isn't fair to you, but for my own sanity, I had to keep moving," Riley explained, willing him to understand.

"We could have gone through it together, you didn't have to deal with this on your own," Lucas hissed and Riley was reminded of the betrayal she had seen in his eyes, on the stand.

"You were going to go through it with me from Cornell? We were hours away from each other, Lucas, even if I had told you, we were both on our own," Riley insisted.

"But I could have done something. None of this would have happened with Maya and Noah, if you had just told me," Lucas said.

"So, that's what it comes back to? It's my fault you decided to play father to Maya's baby and it's my fault you got attached. Let me guess, it's my fault that you lost the custody battle, too?" Riley asked, her protective walls slamming back into place.

"That's not what I said," Lucas corrected her.

"But it's what you meant, right? Do you care about the baby that we almost had at all, or is this all about Noah?" Riley questioned, surprised to find tears running down her face.

"How could you even ask that?" Lucas snapped, staring at her in shock.

"This was a mistake," Riley said, turning to the door. Farkle wordlessly moved out of her way and Riley left. She wished that she could say she didn't look back.

Riley made it back to Josh's apartment and started pulling clothes off of hangers and shoving them into her suitcase. She wasn't sure when the sobbing started, but she paused in her actions and sunk to the floor. Her clothes lay scattered around the room from her violent attempts to pack and she was surrounded by them, but she couldn't bring herself to care as she let her head fall into her hands and she cried.

"You don't look like you slept well," Josh informed her as she entered the kitchen the next morning.

"I didn't," Riley replied, opening the fridge to find something to eat.

"You want to talk about it?" Josh asked.

"I want to deliver babies, I want to perform a C-section, or suture someone up, which I can't do, because I'm stuck in New York," Riley replied, violently shoving the fridge door closed, as she decided that she wasn't hungry.

"No progress with Smackle?" Josh asked, hesitantly.

"No, I'm just going to die here. I'm going to lose my babies to Mother Dearest, lose my spot at the practice, and die with nothing," Riley said, tears flooding her eyes.

"Please don't cry," Josh pleaded, his face going panicked.

"I can't do this anymore," Riley sobbed, "Farkle and I aren't talking, Maya hates me, Lucas is just."

The tears took over and Josh hesitantly tried patting her on the arm, "Things will get better, Riles."

"When?" Riley demanded, the anger back.

"I don't know, but they will," Josh promised.

"I've lost the love of my life, my first child, I watched the father of my children fight to raise my best friend's baby, and I watched my best friend plan a wedding with the love of my life. I'm done, I give up. The universe has won. There is no way to move past this, so I'm giving up," Riley insisted, turning her head up to yell at the ceiling, "You finally win, I'm done fighting! I'm done trying to move forward!"

"Riley?" Josh asked hesitantly.

"No, I'm on a role here," Riley stopped him, "Couldn't one thing in my life work out the way it was supposed to? I deliver tiny miracles for a living, shouldn't that get me some kind of Cosmic-Brownie-Points?"

"I have neighbors," Josh groaned, his head hitting the counter.

"I have acid reflux," Riley informed him, leaving the kitchen and slamming her bedroom door behind her.

"How long has she been like this?" Maya asked from outside of her door.

"I think she's eating," Josh replied, "She seems to have moved."

"It's a good thing that you don't have pets," Maya commented.

"I had a goldfish, he disappeared," Josh revealed, "It was kind of traumatic."

"The father of my child," Maya mocked him and Riley could almost see her rolling her eyes.

"So, how do we fix her?" Josh asked.

"Well, you're going to have to dress up as her. Preferably in one of her floral skirts and then take acting lessons from my mom," Maya suggested.

"What?" Josh asked blankly.

"We'll talk later," Maya informed him, stepping into Riley's room and closing the door behind her, "Honey, do you want to talk?"

"Not really," Riley replied, refusing to life the covers from over her head.

"Okay," Maya agreed, sliding under the covers next to her and turning so that they were facing each other. It reminded Riley of when they were children and used to build forts.

"I thought you were mad at me," Riley reminded her.

"I am, but we've been through too much together for me not to eventually forgive you," Maya replied, "And you've always been there when I needed you, so it's my turn to return the favor."

They laid there in silence for what could have been hours and Riley might have even fallen asleep. She was surprised when she woke up and Maya was still there.

"I'm never going to be enough," Riley sighed.

"One day you're going to realize that you've always been so much more than enough," Maya replied, drowsily, not even bothering to open her eyes.

They drifted back into silence and time moved past them, unnoticed.

"Where's Noah?" Riley asked, sometime later.

"Josh has him," Maya answered.

"I'm pregnant," Riley revealed.

"I figured," Maya replied, giving her a snarky, smile.

"They're Lucas's," Riley added, waiting for the judgement.

"He's going to forgive you," Maya replied easily.

"But what if I can't forgive him?" Riley asked.

Maya didn't have an answer. Riley didn't find any in her dreams, either.

"Have you fixed her, yet," Josh asked from the doorway, bouncing a crying Noah.

"Why don't you go order us something to eat," Maya suggested, opening her arms for Josh to bring her the baby.

"I can do that," Josh agreed, handing the baby over.

"I'll be back," Maya informed her, leaving the bed and following Josh out of the room.

Riley drifted back to sleep, pulling the sheets up around her and burying herself into her pillow. She was warm and she was safe. Nothing could get to her under the covers. She liked it that way.

"You're going to eat something," Maya informed her, entering the room with a plate of Chinese food.

"I'm not starving myself," Riley promised, sitting up and taking the food from her.

"What _are_ you doing?" Maya questioned, snagging an egg role and returning to the other side of the bed.

"If I don't leave this room, nothing bad can happened to me," Riley replied, wrapping a number of noodles around her fork.

"You left your cell phone on the counter. You have almost eighty missed calls from Lucas and forty from Farkle," Maya informed her.

"Don't they have jobs?" Riley asked, not looking up from her food.

"You want to tell me what they did?" Maya pressed, leaning back against the headboard.

"They met me," Riley groaned.

"I'm sorry, I didn't stop things before the hearing," Maya apologized, biting her lip.

"What happened?" Riley questioned, happy for the distraction.

"You were right, I liked the fantasy that I had created for myself. I knew that Lucas would never leave me and I didn't have any guarantees with Josh. Lucas's mom was nice to me for the most part, except for the little hints she would drop about how I should be doing things," Maya explained.

"So, what happened?" Riley asked, finishing her food and leaning back beside Maya.

"I woke up one morning and she was cleaning my living room. I hadn't even given her a key and Lucas and I never lived together, but she was in my house. All of the little things added up and I realized that if Lucas adopted Noah, I was going to be stuck with her for the rest of my life and I couldn't do it," Maya admitted and Riley let out a humorless laugh.

"I'm going to be stuck with her," Riley pointed out, her hands wrapping around her stomach.

"Yeah, but you'll have Lucas. Having someone that loves you as much as he does, might just make up the crazy-mom difference. Plus, you're going back to Wyoming right?" Maya pointed out.

"I don't think that Lucas and I are ever going to get back together," Riley revealed, "There's just too much history."

"Or you're scared," Maya added.

"Farkle wants to buy a house with me," Riley abruptly changed the subject.

"I heard," Maya reminded her.

"Maybe I'll do it," Riley said, glancing over to catch Maya's reaction.

"Maybe," Maya snorted, but didn't add anything else.

"Josh went to see you the night before the hearing ended, didn't he?" Riley attempted to confirm her suspicions.

"Yeah, he did," Maya replied, watching Riley wearily.

"He must have said something to change your mind," Riley mused.

"He said a lot of things," Maya admitted, "But I don't remember most of them. I was holding Noah when I opened the door and it was the way that he looked at Noah that got me. I knew that he really loved him and he wasn't going anywhere."

"Kind of like the way Josh looks at you?" Riley asked innocently.

"He does not," Maya smacked Riley with a loose pillow.

"He does," Riley said seriously, "When you're not looking. Maybe it all started as an accident, but there must have been a reason he showed up at that art show."

"I'm supposed to be fixing you," Maya complained.

"I think there's enough duct-tape for both of us," Riley laughed and Maya joined in.

Riley woke up to the sound of rain and untangled herself from her covers to go look out the window. Josh had a decent view of the city and Riley smiled as she took in the street below. She knew a lot of people found the rain boring, but Riley had always found there to be something cleansing about it. It seemed to be able to wash away a multitude of sins and heartbreak.

Riley pulled on a set of the only clothes that still fit her and grabbed one of Josh's jackets on her way out of the apartment. She paused, to smile at Maya and Josh, who had fallen asleep on the couch. Noah was in the playpen in front of them, quietly looking up at the ceiling.

"Don't worry," Riley promised the infant, "They'll figure it out."

She, then, left the apartment, laughing as she made her way out into the rain. It was cold and definitely wet, but somehow it was exactly what she needed.

"I'm going home," Riley informed Smackle, as she took the familiar seat in her friend's office.

"I only have half a case. I need more time," Smackle insisted.

"I appreciate everything that you've done for me, believe me I do," Riley started, "But I need fresh air and I need to get back to work."

"What are you going to do about Lucas?" Smackle asked.

"I'm going to tell him that I'm pregnant and if he and his family decide to take me to court, at least we're half a case ahead of them," Riley sighed, wishing that she had better options.

"Okay," Smackle agreed, leaning back in her seat.

"Okay," Riley groaned, thinking of the enormous task that laid before her.

 **This chapter was a beast to write. I'm still not entirely sure that I like it. But there's no way that Riley came out of the Maya/Lucas situation without insecurities and they're going to have to face those before they can work out a relationship with each other.**

 **Thanks to everyone who continues to read and review! I love reading all of your thoughts. We're going on four days of issues with the reviews and from what I've read these kinds of problems don't usually last this long. Fanfiction hasn't released any statements on it, so I guess we just have to hope that it's all resolved soon. In the meantime, I would love it if you would review this chapter and let me know what you think!**


	15. Enough to Let Me Go

_Dear Riley,_

 _I hope you're paying attention because there's more to life than just history. Yeah, we have a lot of that, but there's also science, and besides the obvious chemistry, I want to tell you about physics. Newton's first law of motion is also known as the Law of Inertia. Inertia is something that stays the same, unless it is changed by an external force. We have dozens of external forces in our lives; people who come out of nowhere and change who we are forever. The important thing is to recognize who they are and appreciate them, while they're with you, because they don't always stick around. Some of us get someone who gives us one completely perfect summer and sometimes those summers can turn into a lifetime, but we can't take a second of it for granted. I've learned that when we find someone who pushes back just enough to keep us steady; who doesn't push us hard enough to fall over, but just enough to keep us from hitting the ground. Those are the people you have to hang onto with everything you've got. And sometimes, even that isn't enough._

 _"_ What are you doing here, Riley?" Lucas asks as he pulls the door open, "You haven't been returning my calls."

"I know," Riley agrees, folding her arms and staring at the ground, "I needed some time to figure things out."

"What's there left to figure out? You've decided exactly how I feel, right?" Lucas asks, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"I love you," Riley informs him and he looks up in surprise, "I love you more than I thought it was even possible to love someone. You ruined me, for any other relationship. I know I pushed you away, I know that. Watching you with Maya killed me inside and I know that I should have spoken up and said something, but I am so horribly mad at you. Maybe your relationship was platonic, but she was giving you everything that I couldn't and you didn't even stop to think about how it was hurting me."

"Riley?" he tries and she instantly cuts him off.

"But it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter that I love you, or that I'm mad at you, or that you're probably mad at me. None of that matters because you're thinking that you lost your chance to be a father. You're thinking that you lost Noah and he was supposed to be your child," Riley rambled, trying to piece together the right words.

"That's not what I'm thinking," Lucas stopped her, "You always do this. You try to tell me what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling, but Riley, why don't you just ask?"

"Maybe I don't want to hear the answer," Riley suggested.

"I love Noah," he began, "And I kept fighting for him until the absolute bitter end, but Riley, I knew I was going to lose."

"You had Farkle, you couldn't possibly have known that," Riley disagreed.

"I knew he wasn't mine. I took one look at him after he was born and I knew he wasn't mine. Maybe I could have learned to love him like my own, but after everything that all of us had been through, I didn't know how to stop moving down the course that I had started," Lucas explained, "But I never even met our baby and I can feel that loss. It kills me that you had to go through that alone and it kills me that we lost something that we should have had. We both know that you and I would have been amazing parents together."

"I think about it sometimes. I never found out what gender the baby was, but I think he would have been a boy. He would have played football, just like you, and I would have hated it," Riley admitted, getting caught up in the feelings she had never spoken out loud.

"I wouldn't be horribly upset if he did debate, like you," Lucas offered.

"I was awful at debate," Riley said, tears running down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Riles," he reached out to wipe a tear from her cheek, "I'm so sorry for everything that I've put us through."

"Our baby would have been so incredibly loved. Can you believe he decided to miss out on this?" Riley asked and Lucas pulled her into his arms. She could feel his own tears landing in her hair and she wondered if this is what it would have been like if she had told him when she should have.

"I don't think he chose to leave us," Lucas whispered into her hair.

"But it felt like he did. I felt so alone, like a part of me was ripped away. There was something inside of me that had the potential for life and then it was just gone. It felt like some kind of cruel joke," Riley turned her head so that her words weren't jumbled in his shirt.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Lucas asked, his voice breaking.

"I couldn't find the words that wouldn't make me fall apart and I wasn't sure that I had the strength to pull myself back together," Riley admitted.

"So, where does that leave us? We're just two people who almost had a baby?" he asked, pulling away just enough so that he could see her face.

"No," Riley smiled, wiping his tears away with her own hands, "You remember that night of the blackout?"

"After talking about it in front of all of our friends and family, I'm not sure that I'm going to forget it anytime soon," Lucas replied wryly.

"I'm sorry about the letter," Riley admitted, side-tracked.

"You didn't make me read all of it," Lucas pointed out.

"You write ridiculously long letters," Riley smiled, "But that's not what I meant to say."

"What did you mean to say?" Lucas asked.

"Did you know that it's a myth that lightning never hits the same place, twice?" Riley questioned, "Life is this funny, crazy, horrible, amazing thing that keeps throwing things at us and sometimes it tosses us a second chance."

 _Newton's second law of motion: Force equals mass times acceleration. I've spent months trying to find some personal way to connect this one to me. Guess what? You gave me the answer to this one. There are going to be times in our life when we have to deal with forces; The force of someone else's will, the impact of a life-altering event, the forces of gravity. When you're dealing with a force, you have to think about how much it weighs. Sometimes, it's okay to slow things down and take a minute to process it. Sometimes, you'd better deal with it quickly because it's of such a magnitude that if you let it go, the destruction will be more than you can bare. You can't just let the important things go, because they cause more damage the longer it takes to hit someone. You, Riley Mathews, are a force of nature and heaven help the poor people who get in your way, when you decide on a course of motion._

"You're not making any sense," Lucas informed her.

"I want to show you something," Riley said, reaching into her pocket.

"Okay…." Lucas trailed off, as she handed him the bundle of ultrasound photos.

"This was our baby?" Lucas asked, flipping through them in wonder.

"Lucas," Riley smiled through her tears, "That one is our daughter and that one is our son."

"I don't understand," Lucas said, though his eyes were so filled with hope, Riley tried to memorize the image in her mind to hold onto.

"Our kids might be in trouble because we're not nearly as responsible as I thought we were. You got me pregnant, twice."

"Twice?" Lucas asked and the tears were back for both of them.

"Those are our twins," Riley laughed as they both got caught up in the wonder of their own personal, miracle.

 _Newton's third law of motion: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We've made a lot of choices over the years; not all of them have been good, but some of them have been the best choices of my life. I never intended for things between us to get as messed up as they are. I know there's nothing we can do to fix it now, but I want you to know that I'll always love you. I don't regret our night together and even if it didn't happen, I'll never forget it. What we had when we were pretending was far better than what a lot of people get in reality. I'll take the consequences of my actions because our time together has been worth it. You're my first love and my last and I don't regret a second of the time I've spent loving you._

"Is that a leg?" Lucas asked, after they had entered the apartment and sat together on the couch. She wasn't sure what Lucas's neighbors would think of their personal conversation in the hallway, but all of Josh's neighbors knew what was going on, anyway, so what were a few more.

"Not exactly," Riley replied and he smiled at her. The moment was so perfect that she didn't want to ruin it, but she knew that she was going to have to, "There's something that I need to tell you."

"Really? Besides that we're having twins?" Lucas snorted.

"I'm moving back to Wyoming," Riley informed him, figuring that she might as well just go for it.

"What do you mean?" Lucas asked, a frown forming on his face.

"That's where my work is and my life," Riley explained.

"You could get a job here and it's not just your life anymore, Riley," Lucas said, looking completely taken off guard.

"I know that," Riley pleaded with him, "But I want my kids to have open space to run around in and I want them to get caught up in stupid elections about who's going to be coroner."

"You've lost me," Lucas informed her.

"This city used to be my entire world, but it's not anymore. My world has grown so much bigger and coming back here would be limiting me, it would be limiting our children," Riley explained.

"We have family here, I'm here," Lucas pointed out.

"You always wanted a ranch," Riley reminded him.

"When I was a teenager, Riley, I'm not one anymore," Lucas hissed, setting the pictures on the couch as he moved to start pacing the room in aggravation.

"We have never been able to make it here. This is where we broke up, where you got engaged to my best friend, where I lost our first child. If we stay here, all of the memories will weigh us down and it will turn us into different people. This city, is our past, it's not our future," Riley insisted, rising so that they were closer to eye-level.

"My life is here; my job, my parents, my friends. I can't just leave all of that behind," Lucas said.

"Then we'll figure something out. We'll divide up holidays and they can fly out occasionally on weekends," Riley suggested.

"I don't want to see my kids every couple of weekends, Riley," he snapped and she flinched at the tone in his voice.

"Look at me, Lucas," Riley demanded and he complied, "I've heard you tell me that you love me a million times, did you mean it?"

"You know I meant it," Lucas hissed and she could see his eyes focusing on trying to calculate what she's saying.

"Then this is your chance to show me. If you love me, you'll let me go," Riley whispered, her voice cracking, "If you love me, we'll work this out, but you'll let me go."

"Riley," he pleaded, his face tortured.

"When we were in high school, we got lost and being together wasn't working. I didn't break up with you because you broke your promise to me or because I couldn't be around you anymore, I broke up with you because I loved you enough to let you find yourself. I loved you enough not to put you through me trying to find myself. When we got off that plane, after _our_ summer, I let you walk away. You wanted to try long-distance, but I knew we weren't both going to get through school and still maintain a relationship, so I let you go. I love you more than I love myself, but I can't stay here, so I'm asking you, please, let me go."

"I've spent almost twenty years trying to hold onto you," Lucas said.

"You've had all of me; my firsts, my lasts, and everything in between. You have more of me than anyone else will ever be able to have," Riley admitted.

"And it's always been more than enough," Lucas sighed and she could see that she was going to win. She wished it didn't feel so much like a loss.

"We'll have more summers," Riley promised, closing the distance because she knew that soon it would be all they had.

"It won't be the same, we won't be the same," Lucas said.

"But what a souvenir to remember us by," Riley forced a laugh.

"When do you leave?" Lucas asked, quietly.

"We have some time," Riley promised and then he was kissing her. His hands running through her hair and hers bunching in his shirt and pulling him closer. Being together was so easy, until it wasn't.

 _So, yeah, we have history, we have chemistry, but Riley we defy all the laws of physics, of time, and even gravity. So, no, I don't think we were just a pretty fantasy. Riley, we were everything; we were the good, the bad, the ugly, and just enough to take my breath away. And I know that I don't have any right to say these things to you, especially with what I'm doing, but I'm not going to let us end the way we did. I refuse to believe that none of our time together was real. We were more than the pretending, we were more than an illusion, what we have is the most stable things that I have ever felt. I just wish that you could feel that, too._

Riley sat on a plane, watching as the city she had grown up in disappeared in the distance. She hadn't seen Lucas since their non-goodbye, in which they'd resolved very little of how they were going to work out the future. But at least she knew he wasn't going to take her to court.

She felt the smallest movement in her stomach and wondered if she was about to deal with another symptom of her pregnancy, except it was a flutter. She pressed her hand against her stomach and felt it again. That was her babies. She could feel them moving inside of her.

She just wished that she had someone to share it with.

 _Always Yours,_

 _Lucas_

 **I was crying through this entire chapter. If you haven't heard the song, I suggest you listen to it, it's one of my favorites. I know they went from mad at each other, to confessing how much they cared about each other, pretty quickly, but they both have a way of getting caught in the moment and suspending reality and all the things they should probably be working through. I just couldn't imagine, after everything they've been through, that they would ruin the moment they finally got to talk about their children with arguing. Obviously, they still have a long way to go and Riley's not going to just commit to him, but they have to know that there's still something together worth fighting for.**

 **I would love to hear your predictions for what happens next. And as always thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	16. Far Away

Nature verses nurture; the idea that who we are is determined by the factors around us and the factors inside of us. It's the age-old question of what makes someone into the person that they are and Riley's taken enough psychology classes to have plenty of her own ideas on the subject. She can't control the nature; their DNA is already programmed into producing her two tiny bundles of joy, but she can determine the nurture that they receive. At least, that's what she reminds herself every time she starts having second thoughts about where she's decided to raise them.

"This one has the land that you're looking for," Kylie informs her as they pull up to the next property.

"It looks like it will need some work," Riley offered, taking in the chipping paint. Several of the windows looked cracked and there was a collapsing structure in the distance.

"There are options to build, but you're looking at over a year if that's what you decide," Kylie said, sliding out of her car and leading Riley towards the building. Riley paused to take a picture of the front and texted it to Farkle.

"I can show you any of these places again when your husband is in town," Kylie offered, sliding her key into the door.

"He's not my husband, he's just a very close friend," Riley replied, "And he has meetings in New York for the next three weeks."

"You have some time, a lot of these houses have been on the market for a while," Kyle assured her.

"I just need to find a place and be settled as soon as possible. I know this sounds crazy, but I think that the twins can feel what I'm feeling and they don't need the stress of not knowing where we're going to live," Riley explained.

"Is this your first pregnancy?" Kylie asked, looking at Riley as though she were crazy.

"No," Riley replied, refusing to elaborate, "You said it has hardwood floors."

"Right, well it's great for small kids, there are stairs, but you can get gates for those," the real estate agent rambled as she walked Riley around the first floor.

The kitchen was outdated and Riley didn't like the cabinets, but the hardwood floors were still in decent condition. Looking at the empty property reminded Riley of all of the furniture that she was going to have to buy to fill it and she didn't even want to think about how she was going to move it all.

"How many bedrooms?" Riley cut the real estate agent off, glancing into a bathroom with cracked tile and a shower that looked moldy.

"Four, but there are only two and a half baths," the realtor sighed.

"Well, I don't think this is it," Riley decided, not even bothering with the single flight of stairs that looked like an accident waiting to happen.

"I really think you should wait until your," she paused as though searching for the right title, "Close friend gets back into town. It helps to have a second opinion."

"You'll send me the listing if you find anything else?" Riley ignored her, moving back to the car.

"I can do that," Kylie sighed, following after her.

Kylie drover he back to the practice in silence, which actually wasn't anything new. She knew that she was one of Kylie's more challenging clients, but Riley had delivered Kylie's daughter, so the woman owed her.

She'd taken to wearing maternity clothes; the tight kind that easily showed off her growing stomach and she still felt weird every time she would catch sight of herself in a mirror. There happened to be one on the far wall of the entryway of the practice and Riley couldn't help, but stop and stare at her transforming body.

"Laura cancelled her afternoon appointment," Blake informed her from behind his desk.

"Did she say why?" Riley asked, forcing herself to leave the mirror and move over to the counter.

"It conflicted with her boys' soccer game or something," Blake replied.

"I don't know anything about soccer," Riley groaned, leaning her head on the counter, "What if my children want to play soccer?"

"I don't think you have to know anything to sit on the sidelines and cheer," Blake pointed out.

"Do you want to know what I've realized?" Riley asked, waiting for his nod, "I've been delivering babies for years, but I don't know the first thing about actually raising one."

"I would imagine that you must have gotten something out of that library of parenting books that keep coming in the mail," Blake snorted.

"Yeah, I got stressed, really, really stressed," Riley replied, leaving him to enter her office.

She sent Lucas occasional pictures of her pregnancy process and Maya called her to offer pregnancy advice, and occasionally ask for help with what to do about, Noah. He had reached a fussy stage and would cry for several hours every night without fail, despite everything Maya tried to quiet him down.

She really didn't miss New York, she just missed all of the people she had left there. Her life would be so much easier if they could just mail the pieces of her heart she'd left behind back. She had thought that missing Lucas wouldn't be anything new, but it was different this time. She had a permanent reminder of him every time she looked in the mirror or tried to put on her normal clothes. Missing him was physically painful, so she threw herself into any distraction that she could find.

"I'm going back to school," Blake informed her, plopping into the chair across from her desk. She had missed him coming in.

"What?" Riley asked, her mind thousands of miles away.

"It's all online, but I want to get my masters. I want to buy into the practice as a Nurse Practitioner," Blake informed her and a smile spread across Riley's face.

"Blake, that's amazing," Riley said, moving around the desk to embrace him.

"I just want to do more with my life than answer phones and boil water," he half-joked.

"You're going to be amazing," Riley assured him, pulling back.

"I know you'll probably have to cut back on your hours once the littlest Mathews' get here and so I figured that now was the time to do it," Blake explained.

"Their last names won't be Mathews," the words automatically fell from her mouth, despite the fact that she hadn't really thought about it.

"I'm sorry?" Blake asked, surprised as the new turn the conversation had taken.

"I mean, obviously, I'll throw something from my family in there somewhere, but their last name is going to be Friar," Riley said, surprised by how right the idea sounded, despite her always being against it. She may not be a fan of Lucas's family, but she loved him to death and she wanted the kids to have something of him, too.

"I don't think I understand," Blake said, looking at her strangely.

"It would be cruel to hyphenate it and there's no way that these kids aren't getting their father's last name," Riley said, leaning back against her desk.

"I didn't know that you could get the names of a sperm donor," Blake said; his back-away-slowly look on his face.

"I thought I told you that I didn't get artificially inseminated," Riley frowned, looking up at him.

"No, I think I would have remembered that," Blake offered.

"I was pregnant before I came here, the father's back in New York," Riley brought him up to speed.

"You live a strange life, Riley Mathews," Blake snorted, getting up to leave her office.

Riley just laughed.

Her afternoon moved excruciatingly slowly after Blake left. She only had two patients to see and she spent the rest of her time catching up on paperwork. She swore that half her job involved updating charts and signing things.

She'd taken to looking for baby furniture online in her free time. She'd read the safety ratings on dozens of car seats and cribs, trying to find the right ones. It would be easier if she could just buy it, but she didn't have the space, so she obsessed about the safety, instead.

"You going home anytime, soon?" Roy asked, knocking on the doorframe to her office.

"Yeah, I just want to go through the rest of this catalogue," Riley smiled at him.

"You might feel better about it, if you went and saw some of this furniture in person," Roy suggested.

"I know, I guess I'm just afraid to commit to anything, until I know where I'm going to be living," Riley revealed, loosening her ponytail. She had been fighting a headache all day and it was the last thing that she needed at the moment.

"You'll figure things out, Kid," he promised and Riley got the feeling that he wasn't just talking about her living situation.

"Thanks," Riley said, watching as he disappeared from her view.

Riley went back to flipping through pictures, trying not to fall asleep at her desk. The pregnancy was taking a lot out of her and she absently stroked her stomach with her free hand. She just had to keep reminding herself that it would all be worth it in the end.

Her phone buzzed against the table and she reached over to grab it, hitting, "Talk."

"Mathews," Riley said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with her free hand and probably smearing mascara all over her face.

"Hey, Riles," Lucas greeted her.

"Hi," Riley whispered, unsure what to say. She had only been back for a few weeks, but they hadn't done more than text messages.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, sounding just as unsure as she felt.

"Definitely pregnant," Riley replied and he let out a nervous laugh.

"I appreciate the pictures that you're sending me," he offered, "You don't have to cut your head out of them."

"I know, I just figured," Riley trailed off, "We're both focused on the babies."

"I'm not just focused on the babies, Riley," Lucas informed her, his tone firm.

"I distinctly recall us breaking up," Riley pointed out.

"We weren't really together," Lucas reminded her.

"It felt an awful lot like a break-up," Riley countered, leaning her head in her free hand.

"Yeah, it did," Lucas agreed, "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," Riley sighed.

"Why are we doing this?" Lucas asked, "We both love each other and there's got to be a way to work this out."

"There's got to be a point where we've been through too much to try and put all of the pieces back together," Riley said. She wasn't sure that she could handle long-distance and the two of them had been through so much.

"I've spent the last few weeks thinking and I'm not ready to stop fighting, are you?" Lucas questioned, his tone firm.

"I'm so tired, Lucas, I'm not sure that I have any fight left in me," Riley replied, feeling the emotional exhaustion that she had been carrying with her for a long time. It seemed to be in her very bones.

"I was thinking that maybe I could come out there and we could give things a trial run. You obviously love it there and Farkle won't stop obsessing about some election that his candidate is running into the ground," Lucas said and Riley let out a laugh that almost didn't sound forced.

"I don't want to force you into anything that you don't want to do," Riley admitted.

"It's almost summer, Riley," Lucas reminded her, "Let's see if we can do more than pretend this time around."

"Okay," Riley agreed.

"Yeah?" she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah," Riley conceded.

"I'll let you know my flight plans after I book it," Lucas informed her.

"I'll be waiting," Riley said, hope filling her.

"I love you," Lucas promised, his voice warm and sincere.

"I love you, too, always," Riley returned.

"Could we just talk for a while?" Lucas asked and a soft smile spread across her face.

"I'd like that," Riley agreed. She'd missed the sound of his voice.

"Farkle says that you've been house hunting," he suggested.

"I keep walking through all of these homes and thinking about all of the safety hazards and the work it's going to take to fix them up. It's a lot, all at once," Riley admitted.

"You've seen the house that I grew up in and nothing too terrible ever happened to me," Lucas reminded her.

"I just don't want to mess this up. I don't want anything bad to ever happen to them," Riley whispered.

"Yeah, I know the feeling," he agreed.

"How are you?" Riley asked.

"It's been a long couple of weeks. I'm not sleeping well," Lucas admitted.

"Neither am I, but that may just be because the babies are active at night," Riley revealed.

"You can feel them?" he questioned, wonder in his voice.

"Yeah, it's like nothing I've ever experienced before," Riley admitted.

"I wish I was there," Lucas sighed.

"I wish you were, too," Riley agreed, tears in her eyes.

They talked for almost an hour before Riley had to let him go. She was exhausted and she still had the drive home to deal with. She grabbed her purse from under her desk and her keys to lock up the practice. Blake hadn't bothered to tell her he was leaving, but he was gone by the time Riley made it to the front of the practice.

She easily locked up the door, just like she had done a million times, and turned to unlock her car. She didn't notice anything was off, until she slipped her key into the ignition and the car wouldn't start. She'd never had to deal with car trouble and the repair shop was closed for the night.

She tried calling Roy, but it went straight to voicemail. She tried Hailey next, but remembered at the last minute that Hailey was still grounded from her phone and wouldn't be getting it back until the next week. Groaning, she got out of the car to go back inside the practice and figure out a plan.

"Doctor Mathews?" a voice startled Riley.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Riley asked, clutching her keys tightly in her hand.

"I heard you were a friend of Liam Vaughn," a man said, stepping out from the shadows of a tree. She hadn't seen him there and it sent a chill down her spine.

"Not really," Riley replied, her eyes darting around for an escape.

"He owes some important people, some money," the man informed her.

"I don't know anything about that," Riley said, trying to determine the amount of time it would take to unlock the practice and get inside.

"You're telling me that your baby isn't his?" the man asked and Riley was sure that the shock must have shown on her face.

"No, it's not," Riley said, flatly. One of her hands went protectively to her stomach and she found herself wishing that she had left with Roy.

"A friend of mine saw you kissing him the other night," the man smiled and it was so predatory that Riley automatically backed into her car.

"He was drunk," Riley informed him.

"While I appreciate that you have an answer for everything, my boss doesn't really care. I've been instructed to get the money by any means necessary," the man informed her, taking a step forward.

"Wait," Riley pleaded, "I don't know anything about the money."

"That's not my problem," the man shrugged.

"How much?" Riley asked.

"Ten thousand dollars," the man replied.

"I don't have that kind of money on me," Riley pleaded, slowly shifting her way around the car.

"I might be persuaded by a down-payment," the man suggested, watching in amusement as she tried to back away from him.

"There's forty dollars in my wallet," Riley offered, reaching the trunk of her car.

"That's just not going to cut it," the man replied, his movements closing the distance between them.

"I'll scream," Riley informed him, picking up her pace as she hurried around the back and over to the other side. She was careful not to turn her back on him.

"The problem is that no one will hear you."

Riley bolted towards the practice, trying to find the right key as she got the door. She knew she wasn't fast enough the minute she felt someone grabbing her shoulders and spinning her around. She could feel the man's breathe on her face and her heart was pounding in her chest.

 **Yeah, I know, this is an awful place to end it. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! I'm so happy that they've fixed all of the problems with the reviews and I'm getting them! Another exciting thing is that this story has reached novel length(I've heard a novel is over 50,000 words). Someone asked if I was accepting baby name suggestions and I am. I want names that are kind of unique, but are also the kind of names that Lucas and Riley would pick. Thanks for reading and I would love it if you would leave me a review!**


	17. Somebody to Die For

_"_ _Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God."-_ _The Hippocratic Oath_

Life is made up of an interconnecting web of moments. Each of those moments is dictated by the dozens of tiny decisions that we make every second of every day. Except, sometimes, those decisions aren't so tiny and sometimes the stakes are a lot higher and can dictate whether you get to live on to the next moment. There are some moments that Riley knew she would remember for the rest of her life. This was one of them:

"Wait," Riley demanded, her brain spinning a million miles a second. She had learned about the fight or flight response in medical school, but she'd already missed out on flight, and she wasn't going to risk her pregnancy by trying to fight him.

"We just went through this," the man grumbled in frustration.

"I can write you a prescription for painkillers, how much are those worth?" Riley revealed, "That painting that you can see through the door, is an original; the frame alone is worth several hundred dollars. These shoes are designer."

"Open the door," he insisted and Riley's hands shook as she put the key into the lock.

"You'd better not try anything," the man insisted and it was such a cliché phrase that Riley almost laughed.

"My prescription pad is in my office," Riley revealed, as he followed her down the hall. She was turning into the room, when she saw the gun that he was resting his hand on. He was keeping it in his pocket and it sent a shiver down her spine.

There's 1.5 gallons of blood in the average human body. It keeps your heart pumping and oxygen going to your brain. Blood is life, but it's also incredibly easy to lose. That's all she can think about as she opens the drawer that her prescription pad is in. The pad is sitting right next to her envelope opener and she automatically finds herself considering.

It would take him a minute to get his gun out, it would take her seconds to stab him. All she had to do was hit an artery and he would die within minutes. Statistics suggested that his aim wouldn't be nearly as good as she knew hers would. But she knew that he would get at least one shot off and she wasn't sure she could really take that chance. Then again, there was no guarantee he let her go after this, but she also wasn't sure she could actually stab someone with the intent of making sure they never got up again.

She slipped the envelope opener up her sleeve and grabbed a pen, sinking into her chair as she started writing. Her best friend was a drug addict and here she was putting more drugs out into the world. She almost lost Maya to this.

"What's taking so long?" he asked, as she struggled to make her writing legible.

"I'm hurrying," Riley murmured, but all she could think about was how she was trading her life for someone else's. The court system would count her as three lives with the babies, did that justify her actions?

Riley heard a door open and her head snapped up. The man was still standing there and her office door didn't squeak. One of the exam rooms did.

"What?" he hissed and Riley quickly dropped her head.

"There's a lot to fill out," Riley explained and he moved closer to see what she was doing.

"I want six of those," he snapped, gesturing to the prescriptions, and Riley started on the next form. She could definitely hear something out in the hall and she wasn't sure she should be praying for it to be someone she knew that would save her, or praying they would get out and be safe.

"I can fill it out," the man snapped, "Just sign them."

"They'll know if there is a change in the handwriting," Riley insisted, as a head appeared in the doorway.

She knew that she had shouldn't have looked when the man whipped around. It took the shadow seconds to tackle her attacker to the ground and they slammed into her desk, sending all of her things falling in different direction.

"Riley, run," Blake called out to her, but she felt frozen. They were right in front of the doorway and she would have to step over them to get out of the room. She fumbled with her cell phone, dialing 911, and then dropping it before she could hear an operator. Her hands were shaking, her entire body was shaking, and she had no idea what to do.

She watched in horror as Blake was shoved into the wall across from her, everything on it crashing to the ground, and the man got up, drawing his gun. Riley dropped to the ground, ducking under her desk and taking her prescription pad and the prescriptions that she had written with her. The phone is just beyond her reach, but she can see that the call has connected and she hopes that they're tracing it now.

"You'd save me a lot of trouble if you didn't make me drag you out from there," the man suggested, moving around the side of the desk and into her sight. She was trapped; any move to run now would lead in him shooting her, but he might just do that anyway. She drops the crumpled papers, clutching the letter opener in her hand as his legs come into view.

"Stop," she hears Blake demand, his voice coming from the opposite side of the desk.

She hears a single gun-shot and the sound of something falling to the ground. Seconds later she can feel blood seeping under the desk. She springs, hitting her head on something, as she thrusts the envelope opener into his leg. He reaches to pull it out, but Riley is already sliding around the desk and out of his line of site.

She can hear the sounds of him cursing and she knows that she hit his femoral artery; he pulls that out and he has minutes to live. Blake is on the ground; the bullet lodged in his shoulder and blood pouring from the wound, despite the pressure he's trying to apply with his own hands.

"Riley, run," he insists, batting away her hands that automatically move towards the wound.

"No," she counters, forcing her hand onto the wound and applying pressure.

Blake forces himself into a sitting position and they're facing each other, both of them on their knees, "Come on."

She scoots slowly towards the door and her eyes connect with her attackers. With the desk between them, she can't see more than his upper torso, but he's worked his way towards the gun and he almost has it.

Blake's back is to him and Riley attempts to pull Blake with her, trying to get them around the corner of the door. She just clears it herself when two more shots go off and she feels something go past her head, grazing her cheek. She turns, surprised to find a single hole, inches from where she had been. Still in shock, she turns back to check on Blake and sees that he's gone completely limp.

"No," Riley whispers, reaching towards him and finding the new hole in his abdomen. It's oozing blood and all she can think about is how much he has and how much is slipping through her fingers.

The sound of sirens echoes in the distance and tears run down her cheeks as she tries to keep her co-worker from bleeding to death. She needs her suturing kit and the hundreds of pads of gauze that she knows are stacked just ten feet away, but she doesn't dare move her hands. The same hands that bring life into the world, are now trying to hold it here. These same hands that she just used to stab someone.

"Doctor Matthews," a voice calls as they enter the practice, flooding it with light.

"Help, please help," Riley sobs as the Chief enters along with another officer.

"Where's the shooter?" he asks, his gun drawn as he hesitantly surveys the area.

"My office," Riley replied, struggling to get ahold of herself.

The officer steps over Blake as he enters the office and Riley watches as he makes his way around the desk, "He has a pulse, but barely."

"We need an ambulance," Riley says, forcing herself to shut off her emotions and focus.

"We've called for the fire department in Branson to come and help," the Chief assures her, "But they're still a half an hour out."

"I need you to call, Roy. He can be here in five minutes," Riley says, taking control of the situation, "Henry, I want you to come place your hands where I have mine. I need to get medical supplies out of the cabinet."

"Okay," Henry agrees, he looks like he's pulled his uniform on in the dark, but he immediately responds to her request. She's relieved that he seems to be more in control then what he was when his wife was in labor.

"Chief, I need you to apply pressure to the wound on his leg," Riley says, moving into an exam room and forcing one of the cabinets open. She grabs a handful of gauze pads and medical tape, pausing to grab the emergency bag she keeps in the office and moving back into the hallway, "Henry, I need you to keep applying pressure until the firemen get here. Until then, I need to bandage up his shoulder."

"Riley, I can't get the bleeding to slow down," the Chief informs her and Riley finds herself facing a moral dilemma. Every rule of triage says that she helps the guy she just stabbed first, but she loves Blake. Blake has hopes and dreams. Blake deserves to live.

"You're going to have to pinch the artery," Riley calls back, opening the emergency medical bag and digging for supplies.

"I can't see anything in the blood," the Chief replies and Riley makes a split-second decision.

"I have a clamp. If I cut off the circulation to his leg, he might survive," Riley says, pulling on her medical gloves. She shouldn't be treating the man without washing Blake's blood from her hands, but she has seconds if she wants to save him, "When I tell you to, I want you to move your hands. Now."

Riley gets the clamp into the wound and by some miracle manages to get the artery, effectively stopping the bleeding.

"What now?" the Chief asks as Riley attempts to secure the clamp with surgical tape and gauze pads.

"He's going to lose the leg," Riley replies, her voice unfeeling, "You should go wash your hands with soap."

Riley removes the gloves, leaving them on the floor, as she goes to take her own advice. She needs to get something on Blake's shoulder, she needs to do something.

The sound of the fire truck soaring through town is the best sound Riley's heard since the twin's heartbeats. They come in with gurneys and take over, letting Riley move out of their way as everything starts to catch up with her.

She can feel the bruise that's forming on her head and the blood that's drying on her hands, but she can also feel the babies moving and she knows that they're okay.

"Are you injured?" one of the firemen asks her.

"I hit my head," Riley admitted. She's so covered in blood that she's not sure if any of it is even hers.

"You'd better come with us," the man decided, guiding her towards the exit.

"Where's Roy?" Riley asks the Chief, refusing to move from her spot.

"Heather went into labor, she tried calling you, but you weren't answering your phone. Roy's with her now," the Chief replied.

"My phone," Riley called, turning back.

"It's a part of the crime scene. We'll make sure that Roy makes it the hospital," the Chief promised.

"I don't know how this happened," Riley admitted, her teeth starting to chatter as they led her into the firetruck.

"You're going into shock. We'll get a blanket for you," the fireman promised.

"I'm pregnant," Riley revealed.

"They can do a better job checking you out at the hospital, but does anything feel wrong?" the fireman asked, draping a blanket around her shoulders.

"They're moving around, they seem fine," Riley replied.

"There's more than one?" the fireman asked and she wondered if he was trying to distract her.

"Twins," Riley answered, wrapping her blood-stained hands around her stomach. She wasn't sure that there was water hot enough to get the blood off of her.

"Well, they're pretty insulated. They were probably safer then you were," he promised, placing a blanket around her shoulders.

She's pretty sure that they carried on an entire conversation through the drive to the hospital, but Riley doesn't remember any of it. It's another one of those experiences that doesn't feel real and she blindly follows what they tell her to do without processing anything.

"You have a bump," a nurse informs her when she comes back to reality.

"I'm sorry?" Riley asks, surprised to find that she's in an exam room at the hospital and she can't remember how she got there.

"On your head, it is definitely going to hurt, but I don't think it's serious," she assures Riley, "I've been told that you managed to save someone's life after getting it and I don't think that you could do that if you were seriously injured."

"Whose life did I save?" Riley asks, her thoughts turning to Blake.

"I'm not supposed to say anything until your family gets here. I've been told that there's someone on the way, now," the nurse says, giving her a smile before moving towards the door.

"My babies?" Riley remembers before she can leave.

"I'm sending an ultrasound technician up right now, but there's no signs of any trauma to your stomach," she assures her.

"Okay," Riley says, still trying to pull herself out of her dazed state.

"Hey," Roy greets her minutes later, crossing the room to pull her into his arms.

"Heather and the baby?" Riley asks, trying to remember all of the things she's supposed to be thinking about.

"I rode in with them, they're both fine," he assured her.

"No one will tell me what's going on," Riley said as he sunk down into a free chair.

"I heard that they're going to be checking on your babies and I think we should deal with that before we talk about anything else. I called Farkle and he's going to be on the next flight out," Roy listed and Riley got the feeling he was trying to distract her. There was something about the way he was holding himself that wasn't quite right.

"Tell me," Riley demands, staring intently at the ground, "I know something's wrong, just tell me."

"It's Blake," Roy admits, tears shining in his own eyes.

"No," Riley denies, "We controlled the bleeding."

"His heart stopped when they got him into the OR and they couldn't get it to start again," Roy admitted, his own voice broken.

"No," Riley repeats, tears running down her face, "That's not fair. He was going to go back to school, he wanted to be so much more than what he was."

"Riley," Roy says gently, but Riley flinches away when he tries to touch her.

"What about the man who shot Blake?" Riley asks, tears still running down her face, despite the fury that she's feeling.

"They amputated the leg. They think that because he had more mass then what Blake did, it took him longer to bleed out," Roy admitted.

"He lived?" Riley questioned, unsure who to direct her fury at, but feeling it all the same.

"Yes, Riley, he's still alive."

 _"_ _I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm. If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help."-The Hippocratic Oath_

"What happened to your face?" Roy asked when he had managed to get a hold of himself.

"I can't remember," Riley admits, as he hesitantly reaches out to examine it.

"It's a cut, but it's not very deep," he muses, "Did you fall in some glass?"

"No," Riley realized, horror seizing her, "I think I was grazed by a bullet."

 **I obviously don't own The Hippocratic Oath, for those who don't know, that's the oath that doctors take when they graduate from medical school. I deliberately tried to make this chapter a little disjointed because we were seeing it from Riley's point of view and it was a traumatic, emotional experience for her. As much as I appreciated the death threats from last chapter, Riley is physically fine and so are both of the babies. Emotionally, there's still a pretty big mess to clean up. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! I'm loving all of your baby name suggestions and it's going to be hard to choose. Next chapter should see both Lucas and Farkle back, maybe a few others, but Farkle and Lucas left New York in a pretty big hurry and I doubt had time to tell people what was going on.**


	18. Afire Love

Riley dug through the filing cabinet, pulling out papers at random, as she tried to find the order forms. Half their inventory was ruined and she still wasn't allowed in her office until the police had finished with it. She couldn't find anything that she needed and she let out a groan of frustration.

"Riley?" Roy asked, hesitantly as he entered the practice.

"Right here," Riley replied, sitting up so that he could see her behind the reception desk.

"What are you doing?" Roy questioned, coming around and sitting on a free section of the desk.

"We're out of those suckers that the kids like and we're down an exam room. I can't even get to my patient files in my office, until they clear the crime scene," Riley listed, turning back to the filing cabinet.

"We don't have to do any of those things today," Roy told her gently.

"I have to keep moving," Riley insisted, refusing to look at him, "If we want to get through this, we have to keep moving."

"Not today," Roy said firmly, "Now there's two boys who stayed at my house last night. I think they'd really like to see you."

"I don't have time," Riley snapped, "Blake is dead, our practice is a mess, we have to plan a funeral."

"I called Blake's aunt and she'll be flying in on Friday. We'll have the funeral on Saturday and there are plenty of people who are willing to help out with the planning. Come Monday we can both hit the ground running, but this week we're going to stop and let ourselves feel the loss. That's the only way that either of us get through this," Roy informed her.

"I can't," Riley looked down as tears filled her eyes, "He can't be gone."

"I know," Roy reached out to place a hand on her shoulder and she leaned into him.

"I don't even know where we keep the order forms," Riley said as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"We'll figure it out."

But Riley wasn't sure how.

It was strange climbing out of a purple hearse. Her own car was being looked at in relation to the investigation and she'd found the keys to Farkle's hearse on her kitchen counter. Roy had told her not to do anything, but she wasn't sure that she knew how to do nothing. She barely remembered the weeks following her miscarriage and she knew that she had slept through most of it. The problem was that she didn't feel tired and the entire event replayed through her mind every time she closed her eyes.

She'd had people close to her die before, but not people with their entire lives left to live, not people who had just told her that they wanted to go back to school. Blake was younger then she was and he would never get to do the things that she was doing. He would never have children and he would never have his name on the door of the medical practice.

Blake was a good person. Blake was the person who had sat with her through deliveries that she wasn't sure would turn out okay and Blake was the one who came to pick her up when Roy's daughter got alcohol poisoning. He was the first person to greet her in the mornings and the person whose handwriting was all over her calendar. He had been a part of her life and now he was just gone. She hadn't even gotten the chance to say goodbye.

"Riley," a relieved voice greeted her, hugging her from behind. She probably would have been more startled if she didn't know that voice better than her own and she wasn't sure she would ever feel unsafe in Lucas's arms.

"The babies are fine," Riley told him, carefully pulling away from him and turning around.

"How are _you_?" he asked, still holding onto her upper arms. There are bruises there and she carefully pulls away.

"I'll be fine," Riley shrugs, knowing that she's overusing the word.

"You can tell me the truth," he assures her, his eyes studying her face and hesitating on the cut that goes across one of her cheeks.

"I am," she says blankly, turning mechanically and inserting her key into the carriage house door.

"I haven't called your parents; we got in so early this morning and I figured that I had better talk to you first," Lucas rambled as he followed her in.

"That's good, I don't want them here," Riley cut him off, dropping her purse onto the kitchen table and kicking her shoes off.

"Riley?" he asks and she can hear the uncertainty in his tone.

"They don't know Blake and everyone wants to make this about me, but it's not. An innocent person died and it was my fault," Riley admitted, standing uncertainly in the middle of the room. What is she supposed to do?

"It wasn't your fault," Lucas protested, but he hadn't even been there. Maybe if Lucas had been there none of this would have happened, but either way he certainly couldn't tell her what was or wasn't her fault.

"You shouldn't have come," Riley said, looking at the ground.

"You almost died. I almost lost you last night and you want to tell me that I shouldn't have come to see you?" Lucas questioned and Riley flinched at the hurt in his voice.

"But I didn't, someone else did instead and you didn't even know him," Riley hissed, "I just want to be alone."

"I'm not leaving, Riley. You can keep trying to push me away, but I let you do that once and I regret it. Part of this deal is that I stand by you. Even when I don't understand the situation, I can understand that you're hurting and if I don't stay with you, we're not going to make it," Lucas argued, folding his arms.

"There is no, 'we,'" Riley informed him, "There's no deal. We're not married, I'm just having your children and my emotional state, has nothing to do with that."

"Okay," Lucas agreed, planting himself on her couch.

"I'm telling you to leave," Riley insisted, puzzled by his behavior.

"You can kick me out of this house, but I'll just sit outside your front door. I'm not leaving you and nothing you do is going to get me to walk away. We've both done enough walking away to last us a lifetime and this is the part where I stay and I love you, even when you don't want me to."

"That's called stalking," Riley snapped, turning her back on him as she entered her kitchen.

"I prefer supporting, but whatever you want," Lucas shrugged, in the carefree way he used to brush off Maya's insults. The reminder stung.

"I'm going to take a shower," Riley said, when she found nothing to do in the kitchen.

"I'll still be here when you get out," he leaned back, propping his feet on her glass, coffee table. His eyes were daring her to challenge him, but she didn't have the energy.

True to his word, he was in the same place she had left him when she got out. He seemed tired with dark shadows under his eyes and his hair was longer then what he usually wore it.

"Are you hungry?" he enquired, his eyes following her as she removed the towel from her head and let it fall onto the floor.

"No," Riley replied, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Do you want to talk about him?" Lucas asked.

"You wouldn't understand," Riley deliberately turned, so that her back was to him, as she ran a brush through her hair.

"I've lost people, too," he reminded her, gently.

"Not like this," Riley answered.

She paused in her brushing as she felt one of the babies kick and she instinctively brought down a hand to prod at the area of her stomach the baby was moving. She couldn't help, but wonder if she had used up her quota of miracles. Maybe she had gotten these babies at the expense of Blake and the thought made her incredibly sad.

"Are you tired?" Lucas pressed, snapping Riley out of her thoughts. She wasn't sure how long she had spent staring at the wall in front of her.

"No," Riley said, turning her head to look at him. Despite all of her conflicting emotions, she was glad that she wasn't alone.

"You need something to do," Lucas informed her, getting up from the couch.

"I'm supposed to be taking the day off," Riley revealed, feeling incredibly lost, "I'm supposed to stop and feel the loss."

"I'm sure that works for some people, but I happen to know you. You internalize everything and too much time to think is a bad thing," he crossed the room, holding his hand out to her.

"Where are we going?" Riley hesitated, well aware that her face was free of makeup and she was wearing sweats and a t-shirt. Vanity was such a silly thing, but it was so ingrained in her that she still thought about it, even at a time like this.

"Where do you want to go?" Lucas asked, brushing a strand of wet hair behind her ear.

"The hospital," Riley decided.

"Okay," he agreed. He grabbed the keys from the counter before she could and followed her out of the house.

"Where's Farkle?" Riley asked, as he opened the passenger's door to the hearse for her.

"He's helping with the funeral planning. People have been showing up at Roy's house with casseroles all day and Farkle knew that Roy needed a break," Lucas revealed, closing her door before he moved over to the driver's side.

There was so much anger inside of her and she had no idea where to direct it. Logically, she had known that there was little she could have done differently. Someone in that room was going to die, but she couldn't help, but think that she had chosen wrong. She had held Blake's life in her hands and hadn't been able to hold onto it. What kind of doctor did that make her?

Her eyes fell to Lucas next to her and her feelings towards him seemed to blur together until she couldn't tell one from another. If he had come with her, then she wouldn't have been at the practice late. If he had never picked Maya, she never would have come to Wyoming in the first place. Loving him had caused her more pain then anything else in her life had.

"I think I'm mad at you," Riley said quietly.

"That's okay," Lucas sighed, "I'm mad at me, too."

She gave him occasional directions as they drove, but otherwise he left her alone. She almost asked him what he was thinking about, but it all seemed too normal. She didn't want anything to ever feel normal again, there couldn't be a normal when everything in her life had tilted off its axis.

He pulled up to the front of the hospital and they found a parking spot in front of the maternity section. He helped her out of the car again and she noticed a nurse smiling at them; probably assuming that they were a happy couple. If that woman only knew.

"You're not actually planning on working?" Lucas asked, as she led him towards the entrance.

"No, I just need something familiar."

She led him through the halls, until they found an empty waiting room and they took a seat by one of the windows. It had a decent view of the city and the surrounding area and Riley found it oddly peaceful. She tucked her legs under her and tried to pretend that she didn't notice the way that Lucas was studying her.

"Are we allowed to talk about the babies?" Lucas asked, after several minutes of silence.

"Give me your hand," Riley demanded, more to avoid a conversation than anything else.

He hesitantly complied and she shifted as she pressed his hand to her protruding stomach. Closing her eyes, she tried to concentrate on finding where the movement was and an unwilling smile spread across her face as she felt it.

"That's them?" Lucas questioned, as Riley adjusted his hand, hesitating before she decided to leave her hand touching his.

"That's them," Riley confirmed.

She was surprised when the light started to fade from the sky and she realized that they had been at the hospital all day. Lucas hadn't move his hand from her stomach, since she had placed it there and Riley was sure that he must be uncomfortable after sitting for so long.

"There's a cafeteria downstairs," Riley sighed, shifting her position.

"Okay," Lucas agreed, moving his hand so that it was extended to help her up.

"I'm not going to break," Riley informed him, as she led him towards the elevator. She knew that he had been going out of his way to take care of her all day and she knew she didn't deserve it.

"You're allowed to," was all Lucas said in reply.

Riley still didn't feel overly hungry, but she knew that she needed to eat. She found herself staring at Lucas, rather than at the menu and he seemed to understand because he ordered for her without a second thought. He carried their food to the table and seemed to hesitate as he looked at the two sides of the booth. He moved into one, leaving just enough room for Riley, if she chose to sit next to him. She could tell he wasn't expecting it, which may have been why she slid in next to him, anyway. She rested her head on his shoulder, picking at his French fries in between bites of her own salad.

"Farkle's calling," he informed her, as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

"You can answer it," Riley offered, shifting her weight away from him and leaning on the table.

"Before we leave," Lucas said, shoving it back into his pocket.

They finished their food and stopped at the bathroom on their way out of the building. Riley could hear his voice through the door and she listened as he asked Farkle if he would stay up at Roy's house that night. Normally it would have annoyed her, but she wasn't sure that she could handle dealing with anyone else.

Lucas wrapped his arm around her as they made their way through the parking lot, pulling her tightly into his side. It wasn't until she was sliding into the car, that she realized the gesture was out of fear more than comfort. Roy must have told him the complete story.

She leaned her head against the window as they drove home; focusing on the scenery, instead of her own thoughts. Lucas was right, her thoughts were dangerous.

She didn't bother with doing anything more than falling into bed. She expected that it would be another night of staring at her ceiling, but Lucas hesitated in front of her couch. He kicked off his shoes before climbing into the bed next to her.

"You can tell me to leave," he offered, as they both stared up.

"In college, I wanted to put those plastic, glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. It was against the rules, but I just wanted," Riley paused as she searched for the right words.

"Something to fight off some of the darkness," Lucas suggested and something about his tone made Riley realize just how shaken up he was about things, too.

"Something to look at," Riley corrected him, reaching into the darkness for him. When her hand connected with his, he seemed to sense what she needed and he easily curled around her, pulling her close. It was the first decent night's sleep she had gotten in a while.

"Hey," a voice intruded on her dreams, "Riley?"

"Farkle?" Riley asked, looking around in surprise. Lucas was gone from beside her, but Farkle was hovering around her head.

"We literally came with the clothes on our backs. Lucas is out buying us the essentials," Farkle informed her and Riley tried not to laugh at the sight of Farkle in Roy's clothes. Roy was quite a bit larger then Farkle, and the button-up, plaid shirt looked more like a dress, "I made breakfast."

"I've missed your cooking," Riley admitted, stretching as she let her feet fall out of the bed. It was as her feet hit the ground that the memories came back to her and she realized that it wasn't all just a bad dream.

"Everything okay?" Farkle questioned, noticing the weight that seemed to settle back on her shoulders.

"Fine," Riley replied, disappearing into the bathroom.

"I know it's a lot to ask," Farkle hesitated as they sat at the table eating the scrambled eggs he had made.

"What?" Riley urged him.

"We talked to Blake's aunt and she doesn't really feel close enough to give the eulogy," Farkle informed her.

"I'll do it," Riley agreed, turning her attention back to her eggs.

"Are you sure?" Farkle pressed.

"It's the very least of what I owe Blake," Riley replied, trying to blink away the tears in her eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Farkle asked and Riley wondered how many more times she was going to hear that question.

"No."

Hailey showed up at her door sometime after breakfast and Riley brought her in without a second thought. Hailey's eyes were bloodshot from crying and she wore a pair of pajamas that looked like they'd been worn for days.

"Do you have a minute?" Hailey asked, her blue eyes filling with tears, as she looked up at Riley.

"Of course," Riley agreed, "Farkle?"

"There are something things that I need to do at the big house," Farkle said, leaving the breakfast dishes on the table in his haste to leave.

"What's going on?" Riley asked, pulling Hailey onto the couch with her.

"It's all just too much. People keep showing up and acting like they knew him, but they didn't. I'm just expected to take their casseroles and listen to them talk about him and fish for information," Hailey sobbed, burying herself in Riley's shoulder.

"They'll go away," Riley promised, rubbing Hailey's back, "After the funeral, their lives will go on and we'll be left alone to grieve."

"He never saw me as anything more than a little sister," Hailey informed her, "He's never going to look at me like an equal."

"I didn't know," Riley admitted, surprised at the revelation.

"Neither did he," Hailey cried, "And now he never will."

"Does your dad know?" Riley asked curiously, trying to imagine an older Hailey with Blake. It's like an image that's too far away to bring it into focus.

"No, only Monique," Hailey said quietly, running out of tears.

"I'm so sorry," Riley whispered, surprised to find that tears had been running, unnoticed, down her own cheeks the entire time.

Lucas was back some time around lunch and they all congregated at Roy's house. There were eight different casseroles resting in the middle of the table and Hailey glared at them, as she took her seat.

"They'll just go bad if we don't eat them," Roy sighed from his spot at the head of the table.

"There are frozen pizzas in the freezer," Hailey countered.

"We don't need food poisoning on top of everything else," Farkle added, poking at one of them with his fork.

"Fine, but we're going to have to dispose of these under the cover of darkness," Roy gave in.

"I'll preheat the oven."

Riley picked at one piece of pizza, trying to find the will to eat somewhere within her. She'd never been one to starve herself, but all of the emotions swirling within her seemed to cancel out the signals of her basic functions. None of it really seemed to have a taste.

She gave Roy and Hailey hugs before she started making her way back to the carriage house. She didn't even need to ask to know that Lucas was coming with her. Farkle seemed to be debating what to do in his head before he hugged her and watched from the porch as they made their way into the night.

"I get it now," Lucas informed her, as she picked her way through the familiar path.

"What?" Riley asked, looking at him blankly.

"When I thought of this place, I thought of it as where you had built a life without me. I thought it was the anti-Lucas place, but it's not, is it?" Lucas questioned.

"I came here to get away from you, not to build a life without you," Riley snorted, wondering if the sentence made any sense.

"I like it here, it's quiet," he admitted and they both paused to listen to the sound of the crickets.

"Yeah," Riley agreed, opening her front door.

She found herself going through her maternity clothes as she searched for something black. Black really wasn't a staple of Riley Mathews wardrobe, which was why she was finding herself without it the night before Blake's funeral. She couldn't get up and speak at his funeral in bright colors. What did that say? Especially coming from the person who should have been able to save his life.

"What are you looking for?" Lucas asked from her bed. He'd left the things he had picked up in shopping bags on her couch and was sprawled across her bed.

"Clothes for tomorrow," Riley revealed, tossing another skirt behind her.

"What about those dress pants?" Lucas suggested and Riley turned a glare on him.

"Those are from before you impregnated me," Riley informed him, tossing the pants directly at him.

"Did you want me to apologize?" Lucas asked and Riley gave him another look.

She finally found a black dress in the bottom of the drawer and frowned as she looked at it. She'd taken Hailey maternity shopping with her and it had been at the teenager's insistence that Riley purchase a, "Little black dress," even if it did have to be the size of a tent to fit her. Neither of them had thought she would be wearing it under these circumstances.

"I feel like maybe I should have written my speech down," Riley said as she laid out the dress and joined Lucas on the bed.

"You'll be fine," Lucas promised, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

In Riley's mind, the funeral was supposed to take place on a rainy day, or at the very least when it was overcast. The day of the funeral was actually sunny and Riley woke up to the sound of birds singing outside of the carriage house. Lucas looked oddly peaceful from next to her and she easily slid from his arms to go and get ready.

Farkle showed up after her shower to pick up the keys to the hearse. The funeral was being held in a church and Farkle had managed to convince the funeral director that Blake would want to be driven across town in Farkle's transportation before he was laid to rest. Riley hadn't protested it because Farkle was probably right. As much as Blake had joked about Farkle's campaign, Riley also knew that he had enjoyed being a part of it.

"Do you think it will change it?" Riley asked, as they both stood in the front yard.

"Change what?" Farkle returned.

"Knowing that someone dead has been transported in it. Do you think it will make it different somehow?" Riley clarified.

"I bought it used," Farkle informed her and Riley shot him a look, "But I think it might be kind of nice. Like he'll still be riding along with us, even though he's gone."

"The ghost of the purple hearse," Riley mused.

"I'll see you at the church," Farkle promised, pressing a kiss to her cheek and squeezing her hand before he got inside and started the vehicle.

"Hey," Riley stopped him and he rolled down the window.

"Everything okay?" Farkle asked, looking at her in concern.

"When I die, I want to be transported in the purple hearse, too," Riley informed him, knowing it was morbid, but wanting someone to know, anyway.

"Okay," Farkle agreed and they both sat there in thought for a moment.

That purple hearse was just an object, but they'd spent all spring working on Roy's campaign and it was oddly comforting that Farkle was connected to Blake, too. The campaign kept Blake alive somehow, even though he was gone, and Riley liked the idea that they would always have the purple hearse.

"You going to eat?" Lucas asked, when Riley entered the carriage house.

"I'm afraid if I do, I'll just throw it all up," Riley replied, moving over to her dresser. She'd never given it much thought, but she felt this odd compulsion to wear pearls. There was something about funerals and pearl necklaces.

"Are we taking the rental car?" Lucas questioned, as he rolled out of bed.

"I was going to ride with Roy. I wasn't sure if you were coming," Riley admitted, finding the piece of jewelry and attempting to fasten it around her neck.

"I'm going," Lucas replied, taking the pearls from her hand and fastening it himself.

"Thanks," Riley said, moving away.

Organ music was drifting through the church when they got there and Riley found herself being hugged by people as she made her way towards the stand. Farkle, Roy, and Hailey were sitting on the first bench and she let Lucas slide in first, so that she could sit on the end.

"Which one is Blake's aunt?" Riley questioned, looking around.

"She's sitting in the back," Roy replied, "Her flight home leaves later this afternoon."

Riley nodded, leaning back and bunching the program that was in her hands. There was a picture of Blake on the front and his eyes seemed accusing whenever she looked down at them. She just kept reminding herself that it was only a few hours and then the public displays would be over.

"Riley?" Roy snapped her out of her thoughts.

She hadn't even realized that she had already been introduced at the podium. She gave Roy a hesitant smile and moved towards the front of the room. She was still holding the program in her hand and she set it before her on the podium, smoothing out the wrinkles before she turned to address her audience.

"Blake was the first person that I met when I moved here. He was the person sent to pick me up from the airport and the first thing he asked me was what I was running away from. I've worked with a lot of people over the years, but I've never found what we have at our practice anywhere else. Blake was a substitute brother to me, when I was missing mine and the person who would go out for shakes with me on the weekends that I was feeling depressed."

"He wasn't someone who easily opened up about his past, so I find it an honor that he chose to share pieces of his with me. He was in a car accident when he was seventeen years old, his nine-year-old sister was in the back seat and she didn't survive the crash. He spent years feeling guilty about it, but rather than let that guilt consume him: he chose to be a nurse. He chose to dedicate his life to helping save others loved ones. He spent nine months in Uganda with Doctors Without Borders and he spent every day of his life trying to help the people around him."

"In surgery there's a positon called a first-assist. That's the person who is the primary surgeon's extra set of hands and eyes. In an ideal situation, they're an extension of the primary surgeon. Blake was my first-assist. I don't know many men, who would be willing to step up and help with childbirth, but Blake was always by my side. He knew what to say to me when I was panicking and he knew how to make me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry."

"Blake was an important part of this community and nothing can ever fill the hole that he's left behind. I owe him everything from my sanity to my life and the lives of my babies. I can't imagine that a day will ever come when I won't miss him, but I like to believe that he's happy, wherever he is. I don't think the role of angel will be anything new to him. He's always been my guardian angel."

Tears were streaming down Riley's face as she retrieved the program and made her way back towards her seat. She paused for a moment as she swore that she could see him smiling at her from the back of the room. She blinked and he was gone.

 **Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter. I was surprised by the number of people who were really upset about Blake. I'm glad that you guys enjoyed one of my OC's. Someone asked me about the genders of the babies and I actually already revealed that when Riley was talking to Lucas in New York. They're a boy and a girl. I would love it if you would take the time to review!**


	19. It's All Over But The Crying

In her dreams she's scrubbing blood off of hardwood floors. She can smell the bleach and feel it burning her eyes, but she continues to dip the bloody rag into the water and scrub furiously at the dried stains. It never matters how hard she scrubs or for how long, the stains just smear, soaking further and further into the wood and becoming a permanent part of it. The dreams always end with her looking up and seeing the bullet hole in the wall. It always seems to look at her with an accusation.

"Riley," Lucas shakes her awake and her eyes snap open, "It was just a dream."

"I know," Riley sighs, turning her back to him. She swears she can see blood on her hands in the moonlight filtering through the window, but when she blinks, its gone.

Time seems to slow down between sundown and dawn. There's a clock hanging on her wall and she can hear the seconds slowly ticking by, but whenever she looks the clock never seems to have moved. It's a good analogy for her life. She knows that she's supposed to be moving, but she feels as though she's been suspended from reality. She sometimes wonders if her life will ever start moving again.

Her eyes are still open when moonlight shifts to the first rays of morning. She can hear Lucas's steady breathing from beside her, but they no longer sleep tangled together. There's a distance between them that Riley's not ready to cross and he seems to know that he shouldn't push.

Riley slowly leaves the bed, looking back once to make sure that he's asleep, before she pulls a set of work clothes from her maternity drawer and moves into the bathroom. She showers with the water slightly warmer then what she likes it and spends more time scrubbing the areas that were once covered in Blake's and her attacker's blood. Even with the stains gone she can feel the imprint of them resting in her memory.

She dries herself off and wraps her hair in the towel, pulling her clothes on as quickly as she can and covering the bags under her eyes with makeup. The cut on her cheek is almost healed, but she can tell that it will leave a faint scar that will take some time to fade. It seems almost fitting.

Lucas is still asleep when she leaves the bathroom and she grabs her bag and carries her shoes in her hands, to avoid waking him.

"Can I catch a ride?" Riley asks Roy, when he leaves his own house. She's leaning against the side of his car and she can see the same unsettled look in his face, that's weighing on her chest.

"Of course," he agrees, opening the passenger's door for her, "I heard they've finished with your car."

"I can pick it up this afternoon," Riley confirmed.

"It will be good to get things back to normal," Roy murmured, but they both knew that things were never going to be the same normal that they had once known.

They lapsed into a long and heavy silence and Riley watched the scenery passing outside of her window. It was the same scenery that she saw every day, but it all looked different, somehow.

Their silence continued as Roy pulled up to the practice. The police had finally cleared them to get back to business, but it would be several days before they could get things organized enough to see patients. Roy went straight for his office and closes the door, leaving Riley just inside the front door.

She finds herself staring at the painting that she had offered her attacker. It's of a field of wheat blowing in the wind and it was painted by a local artist. There's a little girl running through the field and her eyes seem to follow Riley as she moves to the hallway of her own office.

They've removed the police tape, but the blood is still soaked into the flooring. She slowly makes her way towards it, pausing to run her hands over the bullet hole in the wall.

 _Blake's back is to him and Riley attempts to pull Blake with her, trying to get them around the corner of the door. She just clears it herself when two more shots go off and she feels something go past her head, grazing her cheek. She turns, surprised to find a single hole, inches from where she had been. Still in shock, she turns back to check on Blake and sees that he's gone completely limp._

Riley quickly pulls her hand back, retreating until her back hits the opposite wall. She can see the shattered glass that litters her office floor and the blood is splattered and dragged across the room. It almost reminds Riley of something that Maya would paint, but the lighting is all wrong.

Riley hesitantly steps over the dried pool of Blake's blood, her feet crunching in glass. She paused to pick up her medical license and her diploma, shaking the shattered glass from the frames. She's always been rather proud of them, but all they really were was paper and ink. They didn't make her a good doctor.

She half expects to see her letter opener lying on the floor, but the police have collected it, leaving only the massive amount of blood that he had lost. She can match her feet to the footprints that walked through the blood and stop by where she had crouched as she saved his life. She has to force herself to look away and step over the stained hardwood.

Her prescription pad has been returned to the top of her desk and she sets down the things in her hands to return the pad to her top drawer. Sitting in her desk, she can almost pretend that Blake's outside the door starting the computer at reception and that he'll be in to tell her about his weekend in a few minutes.

Riley's surprised to find that her calendar is still hanging on the wall and she finds herself studying Blake's handwriting. It's almost as familiar as her own, despite the fact that she first saw it almost five months ago. It's strange to think of anyone else's handwriting on her calendar.

"I was thinking that maybe we should call a cleaning service," Roy called, his voice carrying across the office. Riley wondered if he was avoiding her entire hallway.

Riley grabbed the calendar from the wall, adding it to her pile of things on her desk and left her office to go and talk to him. He was staring down the hallway, but she could tell that he had no desire to walk any further.

"I've got it," Riley said, setting her things down on the reception desk.

"You can't clean it up all by yourself," Roy protested.

"I feel like it's something that I have to do myself," Riley informed him. She noticed that his eyes were still trained on the end of the hallway.

"If that's what you want," Roy gave in, forcing his eyes away.

"That's what I want," Riley insisted, "I'm going to walk down the street and check on my car. Why don't you see if you can find the order forms?"

"I suppose that would be a good idea," Roy agreed.

She didn't look back as she made her way to the door and for a second she imagined never returning. It would be so easy to climb into her car and drive until nothing looked familiar. She'd started over once, how hard would it be to do it again?

She found herself stopping in the middle of the parking lot as she seemed to see Liam Vaughn standing in the middle of the street.

 _"I don't suppose I could interest you in a drink," he ignored her brush-off, crossing the street and stopping in front of her._

 _"It smells like you've already had one," she replied, wrinkling her nose._

 _"It's one of those nights where I wouldn't mind another," he said, his tone become oddly sincere._

 _"While, I can definitely relate to that, I don't drink," Riley replied, crossing her arms across her chest as a gust of wind hit her._

 _"Right, your health and all that," he smiled and she couldn't help but return it._

 _"I_ _do_ _have to set an example," she sighed._

 _"Well, I'll drink to your liver," he suggested._

 _"The vital organ that doesn't feel chewed up and spit out at the moment," she mused, enjoying the conversation more then she would have any other night._

 _"You want to know the best cure for a broken heart?" he asked, oddly intuitive in his inebriated state._

 _"Lay it on me," she said, leaning against her open door._

 _He leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers, and she froze in shock for several moments, before her hands hesitantly wound around his neck. She could hear Roy's words echoing through her head, as she felt Liam's hands moving from her face down to her waist to pull her closer._

 _She spent a good thirty seconds convinced she was in the midst of an epiphany, until another face flashed through her mind and she was suddenly hit with images of a subway car and another kiss that had been full of promise. She gently pushed him away and the two gasped for air in the pale moonlight._

 _"I'll see you around, Doc," he smirked, moving down the street without a backwards glance._

She blinked and snapped out of the memory, realizing that there was no one there. It had been such a harmless conversation, a meaningless kiss, and yet it had cost Blake his life. It had almost killed her and her babies. She hadn't even known she was pregnant at the time.

Main street was deserted in the early morning hours, but she could see that they had the lights on in the bakery and she could already smell baking bread. The bank was still closed and the town's only theater was still dark. She had to walk around the gas station to Cole Low's repair shop and she was relieved to find that it was one of the few places in town that was already open.

"Hey, Doctor Mathews," he greeted her, as she entered the garage.

"How are you doing?" Riley asked, watching as he did something under the hood of a car.

"I'm still breathing," he shrugged, wiping his hands on his overalls, "Your car should work fine. I already talked with Chief Smith and he agrees that it was tampered with. You shouldn't have any problems now."

"Thanks," Riley forced a smile.

"I'll grab your keys," Cole offered, disappearing into the main office.

"You really haven't heard anything from Liam?" Riley asked, when he returned.

"No, as near as we can tell he skipped town the morning before you were attacked. Our guest house was completely cleaned out," Cole informed her, handing her the keys.

"It's strange," Riley murmured.

"You doing alright, Doc?" Cole asked, watching her closely.

"Just fine," Riley assured him, following him to her car.

She knew that she was supposed to go back to the practice, but she found herself driving passed it. She kept driving until she hit the high school and she hesitated as she found herself immersed in the memory of treating Hailey's alcohol poisoning. Of the way that Blake didn't even hesitate to drive down and help her, the way he had chosen to stay the entire night and sleep at his desk. He was never going to be the one to help her out of a crisis again. The idea of replacing him was unthinkable.

She forced herself to turn around and go back to work, but she did stop to pick up bleach and cleaning rags from the general store. She knew they had a broom in the practice, but they didn't carry the heavier cleaners.

"Get lost?" Blake asked when she entered the practice.

"I needed to stop and pick up some things," Riley said, carrying her bags inside with her.

"I just got a call from Blake's landlord. His aunt was supposed to clean things out, but I guess she must have been in a hurry. Do you mind if I run out and pick them up?" Roy questioned, looking relieved at the excuse to leave.

"Sure," Riley agreed, dropping the bag next to the reception desk.

"Also, I got a frantic call from your houseguest," Roy revealed, getting up.

"He's smothering me," Riley admitted.

"I have a feeling it might take a restraining order to get rid of him," Roy revealed, pausing to pat her shoulder before he left.

Riley managed to find the broom in the cleaning closet and she started sweeping up the glass that littered most of her office. She also found an amazing number of paperclips hanging out under her furniture. It was uncomfortable work and she had an ache in her lower back, but she forced herself to keep going.

When she had finished removing the rubble and replacing everything that had fallen from the walls and her desk, she went in search of a bucket to dilute the bleach in.

"Riley?" a familiar voice called and Riley resisted the urge to groan.

"In here," Riley called, dropping the halfway full bucket of water on the ground and turning as Lucas entered the exam room.

"I didn't hear you leave this morning," he said, his eyes narrowing as he took in the situation.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you I was leaving," Riley attempted to avoid a fight.

"What are you doing?" he gestured to the bucket.

"I'm cleaning," Riley replied, turning to measure out the bleach. She didn't even get the cap off before Lucas's hands were stopping her.

"Should you really be doing things with bleach when you're pregnant?"

"I'm an OB/GYN, do you really think I would be doing something that could potentially hurt our children?" Riley asked, pulling her hands away from his.

"When Maya was pregnant," Lucas started.

"I'm not Maya," Riley cut him off, "And I know what I'm doing."

"Just because you're a doctor, doesn't mean that you completely understand pregnancy. This is the first time you've been this far along and I don't want to see anything happen," Lucas argued.

"But _you_ understand, right? Because you went through an entire pregnancy with Maya," Riley snorted, pushing passed him and leaving the cleaning supplies in the room.

"Riley," he followed her and she turned on him.

"We're not together, Lucas. I appreciate you being here when I needed someone to lean on, but Farkle's here and the babies are fine. You can go back to your life," Riley suggested.

"I told you that I'm not going anywhere," he reminded her and she could see the muscles twitching in his face that showed he was getting frustrated.

"Lucas, you're six years too late," Riley informed him, "There's nothing left, but the fall-out."

"I don't believe that," Lucas argued.

"Our relationship destroys everything. It sent Farkle to Washington, it ruined Maya's wedding, it killed Blake. Being with you is selfish and I'm done," Riley said, refusing to meet his gaze.

"That doesn't make any sense," he yelled and Riley flinched at his tone.

"If I had never loved you, I never would have come here, I could have fallen in love with Farkle, you could have done whatever with Maya," Riley explained.

"I've never loved Maya," he grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look up at him.

"You were going to marry her," Riley reminded him, tears filling her eyes.

"Is that what all of this is about?" he asked, the anger leaving him.

"One of my best friends is dead; he died and I should have been able to save him. I shouldn't have even been here in the first place, but I was here late, missing you and trying to distract myself."

"You don't think that I feel guilty about that?" Lucas asked, his eyes pleading with her to understand.

"None of this should have happened," Riley insisted, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I know, but it did and I'll do anything that I can to make it right. If you want to live here, we'll live here. If you want some space, I'll sleep in the rental car, but I'm not going to let anything else happen to you. Do you know how terrified I was when Farkle got that call?"

"Terrified for me or terrified for the babies, Lucas? I know you like to think that a mother and her children are a package deal, but we're not. I'm not going to cut you out of our kids' lives, but we were kidding ourselves when we ever thought we could fix things between us," Riley insisted, pulling away from him.

"You don't get to do this, anymore. You're always the one who decides when we're done, but I'm not done. You can break up with me as many times as you want, but I'm going to come back because I love you more than your insecurities and your grief and your pain. And I think you just might love me more than the mistakes that I've made," Lucas argued, his eyes blazing. It was the kind of speech that should have been a turning point for them, but Riley knew better. She knew how easy it was to fall into old patterns, it had been what she was doing the last few days, and she knew it was time to break the cycle.

"Farkle returned the rental car, but you're welcome to sleep in the hearse," Riley suggested, folding her arms and trying to look stronger then she felt.

"This isn't over," Lucas informed her before turning and leaving the practice. The sound of the door slamming echoed off the walls and Riley leaned against edge of the reception desk.

 _"_ _It gets easier."_

 _"_ _What does?" Riley asked, shifting her position so that she could see Blake working on his computer._

 _"_ _Life; or so I've heard," he informed her and she almost laughed._

 _"_ _I'm not sure that I believe you," Riley said, "The past ten years have been one thing after another."_

 _"_ _But, hey, you're still living, so you have that going for you," he pointed out and Riley gave him a grimace._

 _"_ _So, I haven't seen much of the town, you want to take me on a tour after work?" Riley suggested._

 _"_ _Doctor Mathews, are you asking me on a date? I'm not entirely sure I feel comfortable," he cut off as Riley tossed a file of papers at him._

 _"_ _You're more annoying than my brother is," she informed him._

 _"_ _Have you seen the cemetery, yet?" he asked._

 _"_ _I don't tend to frequent those," Riley replied._

 _"_ _This one's pretty cool. If I had to be buried somewhere for all of eternity, I'd want it to be in this cemetery," he said._

 _"_ _What's so great about it?" Riley enquired, wondering what she had gotten herself into._

 _"_ _The tombstones say the weirdest things and it's an oddly peaceful place. I found one that has this recipe for spaghetti sauce, it's fantastic," Blake informed her._

 _"_ _You made spaghetti sauce out of a recipe you found on a tombstone?" Riley pressed._

 _"_ _You, Doctor Mathews, are going to love small town life," Blake informed her and Riley's lips unwillingly curled._

"I miss you," Riley told the empty office, curling in on herself as she let the tears fall.

Riley slowly makes her way through the familiar headstones, thinking of the number of conversations she had once had with Blake as they'd walked this path. She'd thought about eating lunch with Farkle here when he had first come into town, but it was hers and Blake's place and she liked that she'd kept it that way.

Blake's headstone hadn't been finished, yet, so she sunk into the patch of new grass and imagined that there was something more than the numbered marker to tell her that Blake was here. It didn't feel like he was here, not the way that she could feel his presence in the practice, or reading her calendar.

"I know that you're probably annoyed with me for leaving the blood to seep even deeper into the wood for another day, but I'm not ready to remove the traces that you were there, yet. I know that life's going to have to go on and that we'll have to order inventory ourselves and eventually find someone else to answer phones, but for the first time in my life, I'm not ready to plow forward and keep moving. I don't want to forget you and I don't want to forget what happened. That's awful of me, isn't it? That I lost myself in work to try and get over losing my child, but all I want to do is slow things down and hang onto you for as long as I can. I'm sorry that I let you down. You never let me down, but the one time that you needed me," Riley trailed off, her sobs keeping her from being able to continue, "I failed as a doctor, I failed as a person, and as a friend. I'm so sorry."

She sat in silence for a while, her tears slowly running out. She knew that eventually she would have to go home, but she didn't want to fight with Lucas anymore and she didn't want to deal with people. Blake was right, it was peaceful here.

 **I'm sorry for how long it took me to get this chapter out. The power went out one night and I didn't have internet and life got crazy, but I promise I'm still here and I'm still writing. There was a day where the problem with the reviews came back (they've fixed it now) but I'm behind in answering them, so I'm sorry for that. And, naturally, there's a new problem with uploading images, but I made a cover for this story, so hopefully that will be up soon. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! I would love it if you would review this one! Also, if anyone has any suggestions for a name for a goat, I would greatly appreciate them.**


	20. Stand By You

Riley's brilliant idea is a rug, which turns into multiple rugs because there's so much ground to cover. She can no longer close her office door, but the blood is covered and she's replaced the calendar on the wall. The one that Blake spent so much time writing on is sitting on her bedside table at home, where there's no danger of anything happening to it.

Things almost go back to normal. Riley starts seeing patients and is relieved when her next three births are able to get to the hospital. She lets the on-call doctor deliver them and pretends that it's only because she can't get there in time and not because she can't bring herself to get out of her car once she pulls into the parking lot.

The nightmares increase and so do the sleepless nights, but when Lucas starts parking the hearse directly outside of her house they get slightly better. She knows that it's a deliberate tactic to get her to give in, but she's still trying to separate her resentment over him being with Maya from her guilt over losing Blake, so they manage to keep their relationship entirely revolved around the twins.

The big hands don't move, but the second hand keeps ticking and her life keeps going. She visits Blake's grave enough that there's always fresh flowers and she helps Hailey prepare for her graduation. They even go back to the campaign and Farkle gets involved enough that it makes for a very good distraction.

The thing is, she has this feeling that something bad is going to happen. The kind of feeling a wife gets before her husband is assassinated or that a mother gets when her child is about to run into the street. She has this unshakeable feeling that the second hand is counting down to something.

"So, Josh?" Riley asks, forcing herself to concentrate on her phone call. No one has bothered to tell anyone at home what's going on, though Riley knows that she probably should.

"Things are fine, Riles, they're normal," Maya returns and Riley can't help getting caught up in how good it is to hear her best friend's voice and not have to be worried that Lucas is going to walk in on the other end.

"Life's short, Maya," Riley offers, "Don't take it for granted."

"Shouldn't you be taking your own advice? I returned the ring, what's the hold up?" Maya asked and it may be the single most bizarre conversation that has ever occurred.

"I killed someone," Riley confessed.

"That's not funny," Maya laughed, but her laughter trailed off, as she realized that Riley was serious.

"You remember how mad at me you were for not telling you about my miscarriage?" Riley asked, leaning against her headboard.

"I'm trying to forget," Maya informed her, an edge to her voice.

"I had someone pull a gun on me, they wanted me to write them a prescription for painkillers," Riley admitted and she heard Maya gasp over the phone.

"Are you okay?" Maya demands.

"I'm fine, the babies are fine, I just, I stabbed him," Riley said and she was surprised by how good it felt to actually talk about it.

"That's self-defense, it's not murder," Maya insists.

"No, he lived. I saved him, after he shot my receptionist. I thought Blake was stabilized, but he wasn't, he bled to death, while I saved the life of the man who killed him. I failed," Riley rambled, wanting someone else to help her carry the weight of her guilt.

"You didn't fail, Riley, you were doing your job," Maya attempted to comfort her.

"Being a doctor is my thing, it was supposed to be my calling. I don't even know who I am without the doctor in front of my name, but I can't do it anymore. I can't enter the hospital; I just sit outside of it in my car and I see patients, but I don't do anything more than check-ups. Maya, I don't think that I can do this anymore," Riley confessed, surprised by how much she was admitting to.

"You saved my life, you delivered my baby. You've been an amazing doctor for years, you can't just throw that away because something bad happened," Maya argued, "You were the one who encouraged me to keep trying at art after I was fired. You were the one who wouldn't let me throw away all of my art supplies. I'm not letting your throw away your scalpel."

"You weren't going to kill anyone with art," Riley pointed out.

"You haven't killed anyone," Maya insisted.

"Then why do I feel like I have?" Riley asked.

"Step ten in NA says that you admit your wrongs and you keep living. You have to let go of the past and forgive yourself, or you'll end up right back in your addiction. Let go, Riles," Maya encouraged her.

"I don't know how," Riley said, wishing that she could.

"I wish I could tell you, but I think that it's one of those things that you just have to figure out for yourself," Maya admitted.

"If there hadn't been a Lucas and me, do you think that," Riley trailed off as she tried to figure out how to phrase her question.

"No," Maya said, instantly grasping what Riley was trying to say, "I know people used to make a big deal out of the chemistry that Lucas and I had, but sometimes what you need is stability. Lucas and I were combustible; we easily got out of control. But, Riles, I don't want someone who makes me feel on fire anymore, I want someone who will sit with me on the couch and watch horror movies, or someone who will sit with Noah and read to him."

"But isn't that what you would have gotten if you had married Lucas?" Riley pointed out, adjusting the pillow behind her back.

"Riley," Maya paused as she laughed, "I wasn't marrying _my_ Lucas, I was marrying _yours."_

"I don't understand," Riley said.

"Do you think that Lucas ever would have gotten a family with me if I hadn't gotten pregnant? I love Noah with my entire heart and I would never give him up, but I don't like other people's kids and I never wanted my own. Noah was the only thing that was holding us together. He was trying to make us into the family that he would have had with you. Even when he was picking me, he was picking you," Maya explained, using enough repetition that Riley had to understand her explanation.

"And you were okay with that?" Riley felt the need to ask.

"I didn't know at the time, Honey. It took me awhile to piece everything together," Maya admitted.

"And you still want me to marry him?" Riley clarified, finding the situation more and more strange.

"Yes, after everything all of us have been through, I think the least you can do is marry the guy," Maya snorted, "He's the love of your life and at this point you're just being stubborn."

"You're really not dating Josh?" Riley returned to the former subject.

"Goodnight, Riles," Maya laughed.

"Goodnight, Peaches."

Riley got the first full night's sleep that she had gotten in almost a month and was surprised when she opened her eyes and the sun was up. She knew that she had slept in late and was surprised to find that she didn't have any missed calls from Roy on her phone. Then, the day dawned on her.

Rather than mess with finding clothes, she pulled on a pair of maternity scrubs and ran straight into Lucas about to knock on her door.

"I'm sorry, I overslept," Riley admitted, trying not to ask him how he was managing to stay so muscled when the nearest gym was two exits down.

"We figured, do you know how hard it was to talk Farkle out of coming down here and waking you up?" he asked, seeming to pick up on her good mood.

"We have the debate tonight, you should have woken me up," Riley chastised him before realizing that she still hadn't moved out of his personal space. She knew that he recognized it, too.

"There's breakfast up at the house," Lucas said, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Right, we should do that," Riley agreed, forcing herself to look away. She'd been avoiding contact with him for the last month and she'd forgotten how safe she felt when she was close to him.

"Did something happen?" Lucas asked, as they moved towards the house, "You seem different."

"I was talking with Maya last night and she kind of," Riley paused, "Put things into perspective."

"You know, if it helps, when she returned the ring it hit me in the eye," Lucas informed her, rubbing his eye at the memory.

"You, kind of, deserved it," Riley teased, smiling to soften the words.

"She forgave you," Lucas pointed out, seeming surprised that she was willing to talk about anything Maya related.

"I saved her life and delivered her baby, it gives me a certain amount of leeway when it comes to forgiveness," Riley informed him.

"What did she say to you?" he asked, looking concerned at how chipper she seemed.

"I guess you'll never know," Riley smirked, opening the front door and letting herself into Roy's house.

"Glad to see you decided to grace us with your presence," Roy commented as Farkle was trying to fit him in a long, black robe.

"I got this costume on sale, it's non-refundable and _you_ refused to wear it for the parade," Farkle said, holding a number of pins in his teeth. Hailey was sitting next to him, doing the actual seamstress work.

"Is this the Grim Reaper costume?" Riley asked, sinking into an arm chair and wishing she had brought popcorn.

"Your costumes hanging over there," Farkle gestured, "I didn't know there was a bun in the oven when I picked it out, but I think it's stretchy."

"I'm sorry?" Riley asked, as it was Lucas's turn to smirk.

"The Grim Reaper needs his Angels of Death," Farkle explained and it took Riley several seconds to process what he was saying.

"It sounds like a band name, doesn't it?" Hailey asked, looking up with excitement.

"Who, exactly, are these Angels of Death?" Riley ignored her as she took in the black, glittery costume.

"It's you, Monique, and me," Hailey revealed before Farkle could say anything.

"You don't think I'm a little old?" Riley questioned.

"You're hitting an entirely different age demographic and it's important to show that Roy's supporters aren't just teenage girls," Farkle explained.

"Do you do these kinds of things in Washington?" Riley pressed, wondering how he had ever made his way into politics.

"I do what's necessary to win," Farkle replied, turning his attention back to the robe, "You should get dressed before we need to take pictures."

"This is worse than my senior prom," Riley complained after she had squeezed herself into the glittery dress and attached the black, feather wings. It looked more like something that Maya would wear and though it was stretchy, it was also skin-tight.

"I took you to your senior prom," Farkle reminded her, "And don't forget your halo."

"You ditched me for Smackle right after we got there," Riley reminded him, ignoring the inquisitive way Lucas was watching the conversation.

"You had Charlie," Farkle argued, helping attach the halo headband in her hair.

"And he kissed me," Riley pointed out.

"I forgot about that," Farkle admitted, smiling at his work.

"Who was Charlie?" Hailey asked, she had a needle and thread and was sewing the hem of Roy's costume.

"He was this guy in high school," Riley revealed, "He's a very nice guy, I just didn't want a relationship at that time."

"So, was the kiss bad?" Hailey questioned and Riley wanted to hit her head against something for bringing the entire thing up.

"No, the kiss was fine, I just started crying afterwards," Riley admitted and Farkle let out a laugh.

"Why?" Hailey pressed, looking entirely enthralled with the story.

"So, I had a big graduation party the Friday before my graduation, and senior prom just happened to fall on Saturday. I caught my ex-boyfriend kissing another girl at my graduation party and I thought I was going to go out and show them by moving on," Riley admitted, rolling her eyes at the memory.

"And revenge making out, didn't work?" Hailey enquired, sounding surprised.

"This guy had chased me since middle school, after I started crying and went on this ridiculous rant about everything that was going on, he didn't talk to me for years," Riley admitted.

"But you're friends now?" Lucas spoke up.

"I delivered his youngest son, Hayden," Riley revealed, "It was right before I left, actually."

"What do you know about revenge making out?" Roy asked his daughter, raising an eyebrow.

"Daddy, you know I would never make out with a boy," Hailey smiled at him innocently.

"And you'd never get alcohol poisoning," Roy pointed out, but he didn't sound overly upset.

"Pictures," Farkle abruptly changed the subject, grabbing a camera and directing them towards the hearse.

"You never told me that you kissed Charlie Gardner," Lucas said, as they drove towards the high school. Farkle was taking the hearse with Roy and Hailey had gotten a ride with Monique. It left her and Lucas, which Riley suspected may have been pre-meditated.

"We don't talk about what things you did or didn't do with Maya and I don't talk about the things that I did with other guys, it's a rule," Riley insisted, refusing to look at him and trying to hide her blush.

"But it's Charlie Gardner," Lucas protested, "You at least knew I was dating Maya."

"But I learned that the hard way, a heads up _before_ my party would have been nice," Riley snorted, "And I never dated Charlie."

"You just kissed a guy you weren't dating," Lucas turned his attention back to the road.

"And you were about to marry a girl you didn't love," Riley returned.

"I won't make that mistake again," he informed her, and Riley gave him a deliberate eye roll.

"Well, neither will I," Riley countered, pausing as her cell phone started to vibrate, "Hello?"

"Doctor Mathews, it's Kelsey Jones, and I'm pretty sure my water just broke," a deathly calm voice informed her.

"Well, you should head to the hospital and I'll follow you," Riley suggested, her eyes flickering to Lucas.

"I don't think that I'm going to make it," Kelsey insisted, "I'm outside of your practice right now."

"I need you to go to the practice," Riley covered the phone to tell Lucas, "I'm on my way, just hang on."

"Doctor stuff?" Lucas asked, as he made a turn.

"I don't think I can do this," Riley panicked, "We should call, Roy, because I really don't think that I can do this."

"His debate is about to start," Lucas reminded her, looking at the clock.

"I don't do an emergency birth without Blake, he was the person who kept me calm," Riley explained and Lucas reached over to grab her hand.

"It's not like I don't have any medical experience," Lucas reminded her.

"With animals," Riley reminded him.

"I guess we're about to find out if there's a difference between delivering a baby and delivering a goat," Lucas said, while Riley tried not to hyperventilate.

Kelsey was in her car when they pulled up to the practice and Riley darted out of the car almost before it had stopped. Kelsey was already covered in sweat and was breathing heavily when Riley opened the car door.

"Let's get you inside and I'll check you out," Riley suggested, holding out her arm to support the laboring woman on the way in.

"What do you want me to do?" Lucas asked, as Riley handed him the keys to open the door.

Riley directed Kelsey to one of the exam rooms and waited until Kelsey was out of hearing range to answer him, "Call an ambulance. We don't go through 911 because they'll send us the firetruck from Branson and while they're fantastic, the ambulance that takes two hours to get here is better equipped for if I have to put her under and perform an emergency C-section."

"Okay," Lucas trailed off.

"The number is on a sticky note right next to the computer, Blake kept it all clearly marked," Riley assured him, turning to enter the exam room.

Kelsey was already in one of the exam gowns and up on the exam table when Riley got into the room. She snagged a pair of latex gloves and moved to the foot of the table.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Kelsey asked, as Riley examined her.

"It's a part of Roy's campaign," Riley revealed, removing her gloves and tossing them into the garbage. She tugged off the halo and the wings, dropping them in a corner, "You're dilated to six centimeters, which probably means you've been in labor for a while."

"I had to be induced with our first, I didn't know I was in labor," Kelsey protested, as Riley checked the baby's positioning.

"Where's Clark?" Riley asked, referring to her husband.

"He's out of town, visiting his sister. I left a message on his phone, but he's not supposed to be back until Monday," she revealed.

"Well, we'll keep you lying down and hope that your labor doesn't progress until our transportation gets here," Riley decided.

"What if it does?" Kelsey questioned, her face contorting as she experienced a contraction.

"We're using the power of positive thinking," Riley insisted, leaving the room and sinking down against the outside wall.

"You okay?" Lucas questioned as he approached her.

"I think she's going to have the baby in the office," Riley revealed, trying not to panic and being fairly unsuccessful.

"I called the ambulance, but they're a little delayed because apparently there's a storm there," Lucas informed her, "But you've done this a million times, right?"

"Not without Blake, not knowing that I could fail at saving someone," Riley panicked, "I need a sterile setting with people to back me up."

"I know that I'm not exactly what you have in mind, but you've got me, Riley. I'm not going to panic or leave you on your own; tell me what to do and I'll do it," Lucas promised, sinking down to her level.

"I have an emergency medical bag in my trunk. It's black and my equipment in there is sterile. I haven't had a chance to replace anything in here. There are towels in the closet by my office and we need to turn up the heat for when the baby gets here," Riley listed, forcing herself to concentrate.

"Okay, what about her," Lucas asked, gesturing to the room where they could hear Kelsey's faint groaning.

"I'm going to go sit with her," Riley said, trying to convince herself.

"You can do this," Lucas gently put his hand on her face, forcing her to look up at him, "I know you can do this."

"Okay," Riley agreed, surprising herself by leaning forward the few inches it took to rest her forehead against his.

Kelsey's groan brought Riley back to reality and she quickly pulled away, letting Lucas help her up from the floor. Her stomach left her feeling slightly off balance, at least that was what she told herself, as she entered the exam room and pulled a chair to the side of the table.

"How are you doing?"

"I've been better," Kelsey admitted and Riley smiled.

"You don't want to have this baby on this table, there's a couch in the waiting room," Riley informed her, helping her get down.

It took them three contractions to get to the couch and Lucas set Riley's bag next to her before going in search of the thermostat.

"Who is that?" Kelsey asked when he was out of hearing range.

"That's my," Riley trailed off as she searched for a title, "Lucas."

"Is he Blake's replacement?" Kelsey questioned and Riley managed not to wince at the idea of replacing Blake.

"Temporarily," Riley offered, figuring it was easier than trying to explain why Riley had a vet assisting in her birth.

"He's cute," Kelsey offered and Riley held her hand through another contraction.

"Aren't you married?" Riley asked pointedly.

"But you're not," Kelsey reminded her.

"I'm six months pregnant," Riley countered.

"Are you? Congratulations," Kelsey said enthusiastically.

"You thought I gained weight," Riley accused her.

"No," Kelsey denied, her eyes widening.

Another contraction kept Riley from answering. They made it a half another half an hour before Riley knew that she needed to check Kelsey again.

"You're at an eight, which means we've hit active labor and you're probably going to go pretty fast," Riley explained.

"And everything looks okay?" Kelsey asked.

"Your baby is already positioned perfectly, this should be an easy birth," Riley assured her.

Lucas was hovering awkwardly out of Kelsey's line of sight, but Riley found it oddly soothing to have him there. The storm clouds had moved in pretty quickly outside and they were losing light.

"Does it scare you, knowing that this will be you soon?" Kelsey questioned, wincing her way through another contraction.

"I try not to think about it," Riley admitted, her eyes meeting Lucas's.

"Are you going to get an epidural? I wanted one," Kelsey admitted.

"I don't know, I haven't come up with my birth plan, yet," Riley lied, not wanting to talk about it with Lucas right there.

"An OB/GYN without a birth plan," Kelsey laughed and the baby's head suddenly came into view.

"Lucas," Riley called, crouching into position.

"What do you need?" Lucas asked, moving towards them.

"Kelsey's going to have to start pushing, and she's going to need someone to hold on to," Riley explained and he awkwardly sat down next to Kelsey.

"I'm married," Kelsey informed him, as he sat down beside her.

"I know the feeling," Lucas shrugged, holding out his hand. He seemed to regret it as Kelsey hit her next contraction.

"We're going to wait for the next one and then I want you to push," Riley informed her, letting years of instincts take over, "Now. That was good, I can see your baby's head."

"Is there hair?" Kelsey questioned, in between groans.

"Not a lot," Riley admitted, frowning as the baby didn't come any lower with Kelsey's next push, "I need you to stop for a minute."

"Stop pushing?" Kelsey asked, "I don't think I can."

"I think the baby's stuck," Riley said calmly, trying not to let her panic show on her face.

"What do we do for that?" Lucas asked when Kelsey proved unable to.

"Normally, we get at least six people in here to help out, or we push the baby back in and do a C-section," Riley said, her head drooping as she tried to think through her options.

"What part of him is stuck, exactly?" Kelsey asked, her words barely intelligible.

"His shoulder, they call it a soldier dystocia," Riley explained, knowing that she had seconds to act before the baby couldn't breathe, "Lucas, I need you to reach into my bag of tools and grab me my surgical bag."

"Okay," Lucas agreed, leaving Kelsey to grab what Riley requested.

"Open it, but don't touch anything," Riley insisted, and he complied, bringing it within her reach.

Riley grabbed the scissors and winced at what she was about to do.

"What now?" Lucas questioned.

"I need you to go hold her hand because this isn't going to feel very good," Riley said and he complied.

It took Riley seconds to make the incision that she needed and she managed to tune out most of Kelsey's groaning. Riley grabbed a hold of the baby and pulled him free, tears running down her cheeks in relief as the baby let out its first cries.

"Is he okay?" Kelsey asked as Riley smiled at the world's newest being.

"Yes, he's completely fine," Riley promised, wrapping the baby in a towel and handing him over to the new mother, "I'm going to have to sew you up."

"That's okay," the new mother insisted, completely wrapped up in her new baby.

Riley managed to finish things up and she dropped the used supplies into the nearest garbage, letting her head rest on the reception counter as she allowed herself to sigh in relief.

"You did it," Lucas informed her, looking at her with the same awe that he looked at their ultrasound photos.

"I did it," Riley agreed, laughing.

"That was kind of amazing," Lucas admitted, "You're pretty amazing."

"So, sheep birth?" Riley asked, enjoying the way it felt to have Lucas looking at her that way.

"Has nothing on this," Lucas admitted.

"Thank you, for believing in me," Riley smiled at him.

"I will always believe in you," Lucas echoed her words from such a long time ago, "And I'll always be here."

"I want you to always be here," Riley confessed, "I know that I don't deal with things well and I push you away; I know that I'm a complete and total mess and that you should just run in the other direction, but I do love you and I want you to stay."

"You're going to stop telling me to go home?" Lucas asked, taking a step towards her.

"And telling you to sleep in the hearse," Riley added, a smile spreading across her face.

He took her face in his hands and slowly moved towards her, giving her every chance to back out.

"Wait," Riley stopped him and he groaned as he leaned his forehead against hers.

"What?" he questioned in exasperation.

"I said I would stop kissing boys who I'm not dating," Riley reminded him and she watched as a smile pulled at his lips.

"That's not a problem," Lucas laughed, finally bringing his lips to hers. They shifted, so that her back was pressed against the reception counter and her baby bump proved an interesting obstacle, but they probably would have continued, had it not been for the other inhabitants of the room.

"That was fast," Kelsey called and Riley pulled away from him, burying her head in his shoulder in embarrassment.

She looked up as she heard the sound of ticking and saw the second hand of the clock, slowly making its way around.

 **I read the most depressing story from Riley's point of view on how Maya and Lucas ended up together and had a baby. It was incredibly painful and, yet, I couldn't stop reading, even when I knew that it didn't have a happy ending. So, I'm promising all of you a happy ending. I had planned the time jump for this chapter because I want to get to the birth of the twins before I end the story and we've been through so much angst that I want the ending to be a lot lighter. So, I hope that this didn't feel too fast, but the ending is coming up pretty quickly. There was going to be a goat in this chapter(I've had this guy planned since the very start of the story, but he just hasn't fit in) so maybe he'll make an appearance next chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing! You guys are awesome!**


	21. One Call Away

Sunbreak, Wyoming had always been a lazy town. Blake may have believed that it was the kind of place you either ran to or away from, but Riley had taken to calling it home. She didn't mind that everything was closed by ten o'clock or that she had to drive three exits to find pretty much everything that wasn't essential for life, but she was aware that it was an adjustment.

"Frozen yogurt, Riles, who doesn't know what frozen yogurt is?" Farkle asked, staring at her intently over the reception counter.

"That pizza place over on Main does homemade ice cream," Riley pointed out, still trying to decipher the codes in Blake's billing spreadsheets.

"It's not the same," Farkle insisted.

"I'm sure there's a place that serves frozen yogurt somewhere around here," Riley offered.

"I checked, you wanna know how far away the nearest place is?" Farkle questioned.

"Three exits down?" Riley suggested.

"Four," Farkle corrected her, "I think we should open a place."

"You want to open a frozen yogurt store?" Riley clarified, turning away from the computer before she committed herself to an ill-timed business venture.

"Why not? I love frozen yogurt and you love frozen yogurt," Farkle reminded her, leaning in. He had that sparkle in his eyes that usually got people to agree with him.

"I'm a doctor and you're a lawyer, neither of those jobs prepare us for doing anything food or business related," Riley argued, hoping that he would see reason.

"My people in New York think I might be onto something," Farkle revealed, "I'm just offering you an investment opportunity to help plan for your future."

"I'm seven months pregnant, in the process of searching for a house, trying to run a medical practice, and up to my neck in student loans. Where do you think this investment money is going to come from?" Riley asked.

"When I'm incredibly successful, I just want you to remember that I offered," Farkle told her.

"You're actually serious?" Riley questioned, looking at him for any signs that he was joking.

"I originally wanted to invest in building a hospital, but despite my resources, my advisors have advised against it. I have much better chances at turning a profit over my frozen yogurt venture," Farkle informed her.

"When you said you had found a business opportunity here, I thought it was law related," Riley admitted, trying to wrap her mind around the idea.

"I, obviously, intend to continue in politics, but people are much more likely to trust a dictator who runs his own chain of frozen yogurt shops, then an international family lawyer from Washington," Farkle explained, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

"I don't even know what to say," Riley confessed.

"Say that you'll wear this campaign shirt," Farkle suggested, shifting gears and handing her a t-shirt with Roy's campaign poster on the front.

"Doesn't voting start this weekend?" Riley questioned, holding the t-shirt up so that she could see it.

"I expect you to wear it from now, until when the voting booths close," Farkle informed her, "It's the least you can do after missing the debate."

"I was delivering a baby," Riley reminded him, but she pulled the shirt over her work clothes, anyway.

"I'm supposed to meet Hailey to go over poling," Farkle said, glancing at his watch.

"Isn't she in school?" Riley pointed out, trying to keep up with Hurricane Farkle.

"We're meeting on her lunch break," Farkle clarified, picking up his bag of t-shirts and throwing them over his shoulder.

"Okay," Riley decided not to pursue it, turning her attention back to the computer.

"Are you and Lucas coming to dinner tonight?" Farkle asked, as he hesitated in the doorway.

"I think we might be doing our own thing tonight," Riley replied, wondering how Roy felt about Farkle taking over his household, "With the two of you leaving tomorrow, I thought it might be nice to have a quiet night in."

"It's a week in New York, Riles, and then we'll be back," Farkle assured her.

"I can't believe that you're willingly missing the voting," Riley snorted, trying to avoid the thought of them both being gone again.

"It's not like either of us could vote, anyway, and we both have some loose ends to tie up before we move here," Farkle reminded her, "Plus, with that shirt, I trust you to represent."

"Of course," Riley agreed, forcing a smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Farkle said, turning towards the parking lot.

"Bright and early," Riley muttered.

Riley shook her head at his antics, but couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face as she forced herself to go back to work. She wasn't making much progress and they still hadn't managed to find the order forms. She'd had to drive out and buy the supplies last week and it was quickly become a huge hassle.

"You ready to give up, yet?" Roy broke her out of her thoughts, sometime later.

"I'm making real progress," Riley argued, trying to look more alert then she felt.

"Riley, I miss him, too, but you can't keep doing Blake's job and your own. Especially with how far along you are in your pregnancy," Roy told her gently.

"I'm not ready to replace him," Riley insisted, "And we have no guarantee that anyone else could do this job as well as he did, either."

"I'm ready to let someone try. We're going to make a real mess out of our finances if you keep trying to do them. I have no idea how you managed to get through math in school," Roy commented, sitting on the desk, next to her.

"I'm getting better at it," Riley disagreed.

"You're really not. Get yourself ready, Kid, cause it's time," Roy insisted, squeezing her shoulder before he started moving towards his office.

Riley let out a sigh, but turned off the computer. She was at least ready to admit that she wasn't making any progress on trying to figure the spreadsheets out. It was a slow day for patients, but she'd already had several days where trying to answer phones, do exams, and schedule appointments had been a bit much for her.

She straightened Blake's nameplate and ran her hand over his jacket, which she hadn't been able to bring herself to move from the back of his chair. There was a picture of his little sister sitting on the desk and one of Blake and her at one of the high school's basketball games. Roy had been there, as well, but he had refused to be in the picture. Letting anyone else take over his job would mean losing some of his presence from the practice and Riley wasn't ready for that.

She made her way to her own office, nearly tripping over one of the rugs on her way to grab her purse. Her medical license and diploma were still sitting on her desk, waiting to be reframed and hung back on her wall. She wasn't quite ready to do that, yet, either, however.

She'd been letting Lucas drop her off in the mornings and pick her up in the evenings, so that he could have her car during the day. He had interviewed at several of the veterinary hospitals in the area, but their local veterinarian was about to retire and Riley had already approached him about buying him out.

"Hi," Lucas greeted her as she slid into the passenger's seat of the car.

"Hey," Riley smiled, leaning over to kiss him. She had tried for a quick peck, but he threaded his hands through her hair and it went on slightly longer than anticipated.

"How was your day?" Lucas questioned, pulling away and turning his attention to the road.

"It was long. How was yours?" Riley asked, leaning back in her seat.

"I went out with Jack and you were right, I do like the work that he's doing," Lucas admitted.

"If we bought out his practice, it would keep you closer and you'd be helping with the farm animals," Riley repeated.

"I know, it just seems like a lot of house calls," Lucas said, turning on to their street.

"You don't expect them to bring the horses into the clinic, do you?" Riley pointed out.

"I think that I just need some time to wrap my mind around the idea," Lucas offered, "These are some pretty big life adjustments."

"I know," Riley sighed, trying not to let her worries show on her face. He was always pretty good at reading her.

"What do you want to do for dinner?" Lucas changed the subject.

"I was thinking that I could cook," Riley suggested.

"That sounds nice," Lucas agreed, reaching over to squeeze her hand.

Riley set her things on the ground, just inside the door, and kicked off her shoes as soon as she got in. The extra weight was killing her back and her ankles had started to swell, but she was trying to keep from complaining. She kept reminding herself how lucky she was to pregnant and how lucky she was that the babies belonged to Lucas. She wasn't sure where the two of them would be if they weren't.

She had pre-made a salad the evening before when Lucas was out for a jog and she set a pan of water on the stove to boil. Farkle had given her a pasta recipe that had been passed along from Zay and she figured that she might as well try it out.

"Is there anything that I can do to help?" Lucas asked, from where he had collapsed on the bed.

"I think that I've got it," Riley replied, leaning against the counter as she waited for the water to boil.

The pain in her lower back seemed to be getting worse, but she shrugged it off. She had plenty of aches and pains throughout most of her body.

Dinner was nice and Riley enjoyed the time that she got to spend with Lucas. She was trying pretty hard not to think about him leaving, but the thought was still in the back of her mind.

"I shouldn't go," Lucas informed her, as she watched him pack his bag. He'd been saying the same thing for the past two weeks since he had booked his plane ticked back to New York and Riley was pretty sure that it was for her benefit.

"You have loose ends to tie up, I get that," Riley assured him, adjusting the pillow behind her back. The babies were kicking directly into her ribs and she couldn't find a position that was comfortable.

"Yeah, but I could call my employer and have someone pack up my things," Lucas pointed out, pausing in folding up a shirt.

"We're going to have to be apart eventually," Riley reminded him, pressing a hand to her stomach in an attempt to shift one of the babies' positions.

"You could come with me," Lucas suggested, "I'm sure you want to see Noah and your family."

"We're supposed to start interviewing receptionists this week and I need to be here," Riley said, giving him an apologetic smile. She wasn't sure whether she was more upset about Lucas leaving or trying to replace Blake. The timing was all around bad.

"You're not going to change your mind about us, while I'm gone?" he checked, abandoning his bag to collapse next to her on the bed.

"No, are you?" Riley asked, rolling onto her side so that she could see him.

"I think my mind's pretty made up when it comes to you," he assured her, resting one of his hands on her stomach.

"You'll call me when your plane lands?" Riley questioned, burrowing into his side.

"And when I get to my apartment and every free chance that I get," he promised.

"You should shower tonight, we both know that you won't get up early enough to do it tomorrow," Riley suggested, though she didn't move from where she was positioned.

"You'd better be careful, you almost sound like a wife," he joked and Riley immediately tensed, "What?"

"Nothing," Riley replied, moving back to her side of the bed, "I just remembered that I need to check my email."

"Right now?" Lucas asked skeptically, as she retrieved her laptop from her top drawer and laid it in front of her on the bed.

"You should finish packing," Riley dodged the question.

"Okay," he agreed, hesitantly, moving into the bathroom.

The next morning was cold and Riley found herself hitting the snooze button as soon as her alarm went off. She could feel Lucas's arm around her waist and his breath on her neck and she just wanted a few more minutes to enjoy it.

Logically, she knew that he was coming back. There was just too much that could go wrong in one week. Riley knew how precious time was and how quickly everything could change, but she also needed him to leave and choose to come back to her. She needed to know that she was what he really wanted and that he wasn't going to regret it years down the road.

From her position, she could see the clock on the wall. Lucas's breathing drowned out the sound of the ticking, but she was surprised to watch as the minute hand moved. That couldn't possibly be a good sign.

"It's time to get up," Riley murmured, running her free hand over the arm that was by her waist.

"Five more minutes," Lucas suggested, burying his face into her hair.

"I already gave you an extra five minutes," Riley replied, but she didn't pull away from him.

"It's just one week," he said quietly and Riley wondered who he was trying to reassure.

"I've changed my mind, maybe you should stay," Riley sighed, threading her fingers with his.

"Maybe we should just never move from this spot," Lucas added and she laughed.

The knocking at the door pulled them out of their conversation and Riley reluctantly got out of bed, pulling on her robe before she made her way over to open it.

"Farkle sent me to make sure that Lucas is up and getting ready," Hailey revealed, her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt. She was still in her flannel pajama pants and had pulled her hair into a messy, bun on the top of her head.

"Yeah, he's up," Riley lied, glancing over her shoulder at his slowly moving form.

"Okay, I'll let him know," Hailey groaned, turning to make her way back to her own house.

"You'd better start moving," Riley suggested, closing the door.

"You're the one who takes forever to get ready," Lucas reminded her, but he was already getting out of the bed.

"I do not," Riley disagreed, though in truth she probably did.

She made her way over to her dresser and snagged the clothes that she had laid out the night before. Lucas had taken her advice and she was the only one that needed to shower that morning.

"Did you want to go up to Roy's house for breakfast?" Lucas questioned before she could close the door.

"I'm sure whatever food they're having is better then what I have here, but I'd kind of like to hold onto this a little longer," Riley admitted, leaning in the doorway.

"I'll throw some bagels in the toaster," Lucas suggested and she smiled as she watched him. It was easy to forget that there had ever been a time that he wasn't living with her.

"I'll be out in a minute."

Breakfast was a bittersweet affair. Her hormones left her more prone to unexplained fits of crying and it was a challenge to try and keep herself from dissolving into tears. They'd gone years without talking or even seeing each other, but this felt worse somehow.

"No emergencies while I'm gone," Lucas insisted, pausing to kiss her as he collected their dishes.

"I'll do my very best," Riley agreed, rolling her eyes as she heard a car honk from outside.

"It'll go by fast," Lucas promised, as he grabbed his bag.

"I love you," Riley stopped him at the door, burying her face in his chest as she hugged him.

"I love you, too," Lucas replied, "More than you'll ever know."

He kissed her one last time, pressing her against the door as they both tried to memorize the moment. Farkle honking again, broke the two of them apart and Riley reluctantly moved aside, so that he could pull the door open.

"You'll take care of him?" Riley questioned, as she leaned through the driver's window of the hearse to give Farkle a hug.

"I'll do my best," Farkle promised, kissing her cheek as she pulled away.

"I should be worried about who is going to take care of you," Lucas pointed out, putting on his seat belt.

"Drive safely and call me when your plane lands," Riley insisted, backing away from the car.

"You worry too much," Farkle snorted, pulling on his sunglasses.

"Don't stay late at the practice," Lucas added, watching her through Farkle's window.

"I promise," Riley agreed, waving as they drove away. It was strange that she felt homesick before they had even gotten out of sight.

Riley slowly made her way inside and finished gathering her things for the day. The place looked oddly empty without Lucas's clothes thrown around it. She was looking forward to his presence in her home being more than just what would fit in a duffel bag.

She took the time to make the bed and paused as she found his jeans from the night before. She rolled her eyes and tossed them towards the hamper, but stopped when she heard something heavy hit the floor. She turned to see a black, velvet, box had fallen from the pocket and was now positioned, innocently, outside of the bathroom.

"I shouldn't touch it," Riley murmured to herself, unable to look away from where it had landed. It really could be anything from earrings to a necklace and the last time she had looked at anything that fell from his pockets it had ended in his engagement to Maya.

Unable to stand the tension, Riley crossed the room and bent over to retreat it. The pain in her back flared and she had to hold onto the wall to keep herself from falling.

"It's karma," she murmured, trying to breathe through the pain. When the pain had passed she managed to pick up the box, but she had learned her lesson about trying to open it. She set it on his side of the bed and headed out to work for the day.

"You keep wincing," Hailey informed her, from where she had taken up residence at the reception desk. She was out of school and had volunteered to help out.

"It's nothing," Riley insisted, moving her hand from her back and trying to concentrate on the prescription that she was writing.

"If it's nothing, then you won't mind having it checked out," Hailey challenged, her eyes narrowing as she stared Riley down.

"My OB/GYN is two hours away," Riley reminded her, leaning against the counter as she felt another wave of pain.

"There's a Nurse Midwife in Branson," Hailey suggested.

"I know, I considered going to her, but Lucas insisted on a doctor and I don't have the energy to argue with him about medical practitioner equality at the moment," Riley explained.

"Why don't I give her a call?" Hailey suggested, her tone nonchalant.

"That's unnecessary, I'm totally fine," Riley argued, except she was hit with another wave of pain and she had to close her eyes to get through it.

"Dad?" Hailey called out and Roy came running at her tone.

"Riley, you okay?" Roy asked, moving to her side.

"No, I'm not okay," Riley finally admitted, turning to look at him with fear in her eyes.

"I suggested that we call the midwife in Branson," Hailey said, getting up from her chair.

"I think that the drive to the hospital might be worth it," Roy decided and Hailey grabbed the car keys off of the desk.

"Why does this always happen when Farkle and Lucas are gone?" Riley questioned, as they moved towards the door.

"Do you want me to call them?" Hailey asked, opening the door as Roy helped Riley out.

"No, not until we know something is actually wrong," Riley replied, easing into the back seat.

She kept her eyes trained out the window as they pulled onto the road, but she was already pretty sure of her diagnosis. She placed both of her hands on her stomach and found herself praying that everything would work out.

 **I've made up all of the names for places in Wyoming, so whatever I've described comes from my imagination. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter! Did anyone else see the new intro for season 3? I loved the idea of making it similar to** **Boy Meets World** , **but I was kind of hoping for more hints into season 3. Thanks for reading and I would love it if you would leave me a review!**

 **Codename R.A.L-Yeah, that was what I was reading. I made it all the way to the end, but I probably should have stopped sooner.**

 **Guest-I have this problem, where I watch the Maya and Lucas videos and I read some of their stories, even though I know that it will upset me. I don't like them together, either, which is weird because I'm usually all for the teasing kind of relationships, but something about them together just doesn't work for me.**


	22. Between Us

Riley loved the hospital. She loved the smell of antiseptic and the muted color scheme. She loved saving lives and walking passed the nursery to stare at the babies. She'd had plenty of bad experiences at hospitals, but she spent enough time there that the good outweighed the bad. When she was in the hospital things made sense and she was in charge.

It was different when she was the patient.

"I'm getting a wheelchair," Roy announced, his tone leaving no room for argument.

"I'm fine, the pain has mostly stopped," Riley insisted, trying to contain the fear that was racing from her heart through ever vein in her body.

"Stay here," Roy commanded, leaving Riley with Hailey in the car.

"You should call him," Hailey said, watching as Riley played with the phone that was in her hand.

"He'll just come back, they'll both come back," Riley said, biting her bottom lip.

"I don't see how that's a bad thing," Hailey pointed out, turning to face her.

"I dated Lucas in high school," Riley revealed.

"Okay?" Hailey snorted, looking at her as though she had lost her mind.

"Things didn't work out because I lost myself trying to fit into his life, does that make sense?" Riley paused, thinking through her phrasing.

"Sort of," Hailey replied.

"If he comes back here now, then it won't be because that's what he wants. It will be because I need him and our relationship doesn't have a chance if I do the same thing to him that he did to me," Riley explained.

"You don't honestly think that he's going to choose to stay?" Hailey questioned.

"That's why I sent Farkle with him. Farkle has this way of getting people to admit what they're really feeling," Riley confessed, glancing at her phone again.

"I kind of get why you would be concerned about him moving here, I'm excited to get out, but he seems to fit in pretty well," Hailey suggested.

"It's just a big change and I don't want him to resent me for it," Riley explained, looking out the window for Roy.

"And if he changes his mind and doesn't want to move here, what then?"

"I don't know," Riley admitted, "I guess we try and figure things out."

"I like having you here," Hailey offered, as Roy pulled open the door and helped Riley into the chair.

They made their way silently through the parking lot and in the doors of Labor and Delivery. She could describe everything in Labor and Delivery from memory, but somehow the entire view was different from where she was at. Roy wheeled her into the elevator and hit the button and the three of them listened to the faint buzzing of the fluorescent lights.

"Doctor Mathews," a nurse greeted them as they got off the elevator.

"Hi, Shelby," Riley forced a smile, feeling oddly uncomfortable with other people seeing her this way.

"Is everything okay?" Shelby asked, taking in the situation.

"I've just been having some back pain," Riley shrugged it off.

"Your doctor is Isla Green, isn't it? I can page her for you," Shelby offered, holding open the doors so that Roy could move them towards an exam room.

"Yeah, thanks," Riley replied.

"Normally we'd make you do all of the paperwork, but we won't bother unless you get admitted," Shelby suggested, pausing at the nurse's station and picking up the phone.

"I appreciate that," Riley replied, watching as Hailey shifted uncomfortably next to her.

"You can go into the exam room and get changed into a gown. Doctor Green should be here in a minute," Shelby offered, gesturing to the exam rooms.

"Okay," Riley agreed, glancing between Hailey and Roy.

"If you're okay, I was thinking that I might go make some phone calls," Roy offered as he deposited her in the room.

"I think I've got it from here," Riley smiled, "This isn't my first rodeo. I just hope it ends better than all of my previous ones."

"Do you mind if I stay?" Hailey questioned before Roy could say anything.

"Sure," Riley agreed, as Roy nodded his consent and left the room, closing the door behind him. Riley found it oddly calming to have Hailey staying with her. She'd gone to plenty of doctors appointments on her own before, but she knew that panic was just waiting to take over.

"Is it weird being the patient?" Hailey asked, turning around, so that Riley could change.

"Very weird," Riley replied, folding her clothes and setting them to the side before she climbed onto the exam table.

"It must be nice to have things figured out, though. You've had plenty of time to figure out what you want," Hailey rambled, seeming to want to fill the silence. Riley didn't mind.

"It's different, thinking that you know what you want and then actually being pregnant. It's made me rethink things, especially since I have to consider someone else in all of my decisions," Riley admitted.

"Lucas doesn't seem like the type of guy who would be overly opinionated about this," Hailey laughed, taking a seat in one of the empty chairs.

"Normally, the father would take a backseat for the first pregnancy. They don't start forming opinions until they have an idea of what's going on, but he helped out my best friend with her pregnancy, so he has tons of opinions," Riley explained, trying not to sound overly annoyed.

"Like with what?" Hailey pressed.

"Maya used her pregnancy to get out of things like cleaning and she had all kinds of cravings, so he thinks that he has to take over everything for me and he keeps acting like he's offended I don't send him out at odd times to buy food for me," Riley snorted.

"I've seen you eat all kinds of weird stuff at the office," Hailey pointed out.

"At the office, I get to be a normal pregnant woman, but I feel weird about having Lucas do things that he did for Maya, so I try to act as normal as I can at home," Riley confessed, pressing her hand to her stomach.

"Did he love her?" Hailey questioned curiously. Riley hadn't told anyone from her new life about what was going on in her former.

"I think in a way he did; I don't doubt that he loves me and I want to make things work with us, but we were each other's first everything for a long time and Maya was his first pregnancy. We both made a lot of mistakes and I'm glad that he was able to be there for Maya, but there's still a part of me that feels like I should have been his first. However, unfair that feeling is," Riley rambled, trying to process everything.

"I get it. You don't want him to compare you to your best friend," Hailey offered.

"Even knowing that he loves me and that he's here now. I guess, I just worry that I won't measure up."

Before Hailey could say anything else, the door opened and Isla entered the room, kicking off her heels and collapsing in the chair in front of the computer.

"Sorry, today has been killer," Isla said, as she logged in.

"I get it," Riley replied, her anxiety growing as she realized that she was about to find out exactly what was going on.

"The babies are both moving around?" Isla questioned, swiveling her chair so that she was facing Riley.

"They both seem fine, it's just this back pain that's been pretty intense," Riley explained.

"Is it still happening since you've laid down?" Isla pressed, frowning.

"Not as intensely and not as often," Riley replied.

"I want to see how far dilated you are and then we can hook you up to a monitor for evaluation. We're completely packed with laboring moms at the moment, so I would like to avoid admitting you if we can," Isla explained, moving over to grab a pair of medical gloves, "Have you given any more thought to your birth plan?"

"I want to avoid a C-section, if we can," Riley offered, distracting herself by counting ceiling tiles.

"I know you're pretty supportive of natural childbirth, is that something that you want to try yourself?" Isla questioned.

"I know it's easier for you if I have the epidural, especially if we have to switch to an emergency C-section," Riley said, as Isla threw away the gloves and returned to her seat at the computer.

"We can do this any way that you want. You already know the risks and if I were the one that was pregnant, I'd want someone who wasn't going to try and push something onto me," Isla replied, "Especially considering what I'm about to tell you."

"Am I in labor?" Riley questioned, knowing that Lucas was going to kill her if he missed the birth because Riley didn't notify him that she was headed to the hospital.

"You're dilated more than what I would like to see at this stage. You know that it's common for twins to come early, but I'd like to see you go another six to eight weeks," Isla explained, typing something into the computer, "We'll put you on the monitor for the next hour, but I don't personally think that you're in active labor. What I would like to do is put you on bedrest."

"Bedrest?" Riley repeated unenthusiastically.

"Low stress and low movement," Isla confirmed.

"For the next six to eight weeks?" Riley clarified, trying to wrap her head around the idea.

"I can send you a list of fantastic shows to binge watch on Netflix," Isla offered.

"I'm not sure that I can do nothing for that long," Riley admitted.

"You can, for your babies, you can," Isla assured her, giving her a smile before she put back on her shoes, "I'll send in Shelby with your monitor, but if she thinks everything looks fine, then I won't see you until our next appointment."

"Okay," Riley groaned, leaning back.

"Okay," Isla agreed, leaving the room.

She made it through her hour of monitoring and was allowed to return home. Roy insisted on using the wheel chair again, despite all of Riley's protesting. She wasn't actually trying that hard, but she still felt like she needed to do it on principle.

"Are you going to call him, now?" Hailey asked on the drive home.

"To tell him that I've been confined to my bed? I don't think that the news warrants a phone call at the moment," Riley replied, "What we need to figure out is what to do with my patients for the next eight weeks."

"I've already taken care of it," Roy revealed, "I called up Lydia and she's going to fly here."

"For eight weeks?" Riley questioned.

"She's been looking for an excuse to visit and you just happened to give her a good one," Roy said.

"What about replacing Blake?" Riley asked, "I want to be involved in the interviews."

"We can do interviews from the carriage house. If they want to work with us, they'd better get used to the unusual, anyway," Roy shrugged off her concerns.

"What am I going to do?" Riley groaned.

"You can finish the baby blanket that you started knitting," Hailey suggested.

"I almost forgot about that," Riley admitted.

The rest of the drive consisted of an argument about where Riley was going to sleep until Farkle and Lucas returned. Roy and Hailey wanted her to stay at the main house, where they would be there if she needed anything. Riley could understand the logic behind their decision, but she really just wanted to sleep in her own bed. In the end, Hailey agreed to sleep on Riley's couch for the week.

"Do you need anything?" Hailey questioned, after Riley had changed into her pajamas and was climbing into bed.

"I think I'm fine for the moment," Riley replied, adjusting her pillows and trying to reconcile herself with the fact that she was stuck for the foreseeable future.

"What are you going to say when the boys call?" Hailey asked, sitting on Lucas's side of the bed.

"I don't know," Riley admitted, letting her head fall back against the pillows.

"I've been thinking about Blake," Hailey changed the subject, "I didn't know about his sister."

"He didn't like to talk about it, I think he blamed himself," Riley offered.

"The more I hear about him, the more I realize that I didn't really know him," Hailey sighed, shifting so that she was sprawled out beside Riley.

"I like to think that even if you don't know everything about someone, you can still feel who they are," Riley mused.

"I think that I had this idea of him in my head and I'm not sure that the reality would ever match up," Hailey confessed, "But what's hard is that I'm never going to really know."

"I know it doesn't feel like it, but there will be other boys," Riley informed her.

"You're one to talk. You've loved the same guy since you were in high school," Hailey pointed out.

"We weren't together all of that time, though. He dated other people and so did I," Riley revealed.

"But no one must have ever measured up to him," Hailey replied.

"I didn't try all that hard to make other relationships work," Riley explained, wondering how she was going to talk her way out of this. Hailey was making pretty valid points.

"Did you and Farkle ever," Hailey trailed off and Riley filled in the gaps.

"No, we've always just been friends," Riley answered, wondering how she could change the subject in a subtle way. She'd forgotten Hailey's knack for asking personal questions that Riley really wanted to avoid.

"But you must see the way that he looks at you and he's not with anyone else," Hailey suggested and Riley resisted the urge to groan.

"He had feelings for me once, but he's told me since then that he doesn't anymore," Riley closed the subject.

"You lead an awfully complicated life," Hailey snorted, "What's in the box?"

"What box?" Riley turned over onto her side. She'd almost forgotten about Lucas's jewelry box, which was now in Hailey's hand.

"Do you think it's a ring?" Hailey pressed, clearly seconds away from opening it.

"I don't know, I found it this morning," Riley answered, taking it from her before she could get the top open.

"If there is a ring in that box, don't you want to know, so that you can get a manicure?"

"I think it's time for bed," Riley suggested, tossing the box into her bedside drawer. There were way too many feelings associated with the idea to get into it.

"Lucas and Farkle haven't even called, yet," Hailey pointed out, but she slowly got out of the bed and moved over to where she had set up her things on the couch.

"They called when they landed and I'm sure they've gotten busy," Riley shrugged, turning her phone to vibrate and setting it next to her, so that she could feel if it went off.

"I'll get the lights," Hailey sighed, moving over to the wall.

She turned them off and Riley was surprised to find that she was looking up at a ceiling full of stars. Lucas was the only one who had known that she wanted the plastic, stars on her ceiling and the only chance he would have had to do it was when she was in the shower that morning. It made her miss him that much more and she found tears gathering in her eyes.

She awoke to her blankets vibrating and she had to dig through the mound of fabric to find where her phone had ended up in the night.

"Hello?" Riley answered, surprised to find that the sun had already risen and Hailey was gone. She'd left a note on Riley's bedside table, but Riley would have to switch positons to grab it and she was too comfortable to move.

"Good morning," Lucas greeted her and she was surprised by just how much she had missed his voice.

"How was your day, yesterday?" Riley questioned, trying to get herself more awake.

"It was good, but I miss you. I was going to call last night, but I fell asleep," he informed her.

"I haven't heard from Farkle, either," Riley offered, snagging a pillow from Lucas's side of the bed to help prop her up.

"Zay met us at the airport and they spent the entire ride talking about frozen yogurt. It was the weirdest thing," Lucas revealed, "I think they might be using it as a code for something."

"Like what?" Riley laughed, deciding not to enlighten him.

"I haven't figured it out, yet," Lucas replied, sounding puzzled.

"What about you? What did you do?" Riley enquired.

"I stopped by the clinic to pick up my things. It was kind of surreal thinking that I would never go into work there again," Lucas confessed, "And then I had dinner with Maya and Josh."

"You didn't think that maybe you should lead with that?" Riley demanded, "What happened?"

"I had to talk to Maya about something and I figured that it was about time we cleared the air. She's not entirely happy with me and I don't think that Josh is ever going to like me, but nobody died," Lucas replied, shrugging it off.

"How's Noah?"

"He was with your parents, I only saw him when I dropped Josh and Maya off at your house," Lucas answered.

"And what are your plans for today?" Riley decided not to push.

"I need to go see my parents and then I'm going to start packing," Lucas said and Riley could tell that there was an off tone in his voice, "What about you?"

"I've been placed on bedrest," Riley informed him.

"By who? Why?"

"Doctor Green is just a little concerned that I might go into preterm labor, so she thinks that I should take it easy," Riley explained.

"Your doctor's appointment isn't until next week, we scheduled it so that I could be there," Lucas said, his words coming out like an accusation.

"I was having some back pain and we went in to get it checked out. Everything is fine," Riley insisted, "I'm just going to take it easy for the next eight weeks."

"You didn't think to call me?"

"I didn't want to worry you until I knew what was going on and everything is fine," Riley told him.

"It doesn't sound fine," Lucas argued, "And I want you to call and worry me."

"You didn't call, either," Riley pointed out, "I wasn't deliberately keeping anything from you."

"You'll call me if anything changes, even if it is nothing?" Lucas asked.

"I will," Riley agreed.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, until he spoke again, "Hey, this is going to sound kind of strange, but I'm missing a pair of my pants. Have you seen them around?"

"I moved them to the hamper," Riley replied, wondering if she should say something about the box.

"You know, I think they're supposed to be hand washed. Will you just leave them for me until I get back?" Lucas enquired and she would almost have believed the lie, if she wasn't pretty sure that he had bought them at a thrift store.

"I won't be doing any laundry for awhile," Riley promised.

"I have to get going, but I love you," Lucas offered, his voice sounding distant.

"I love you, too," Riley said, surprised to find that tears were gathering in her eyes as she hung up the phone. She wasn't entirely sure what to think.

 **Thank you for reading! And thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! I love hearing all of your thoughts. Today has been crazy and I'm way behind on answering reviews, so I'm sorry for that. I'm hoping that I'll get some time to answer them tomorrow.**


	23. You For Me

**Friday**

Riley was two days into her medically prescribed bedrest and she was already miserable. She'd tried watching TV, but there really was only so much that she could watch and she'd finished off the blanket sometime yesterday. Hailey had brought most of her book collection for Riley to go through, but none of them seemed to be able to hold her attention for very long.

What she really wanted to do was open the box that was sitting in her nightstand. Not knowing what was in it was slowly killing her and it occupied most of her thoughts. The other half of her thoughts were on the phone calls she was receiving from her significant other. Lucas hadn't said anything about not coming back, but he was pretty illusive about what he was doing in New York.

"Knock, Knock," a voice broke her out of her thoughts and Riley smiles as she looks up at her mentor.

"Hi," Riley greets her.

"You ready to start climbing the walls, yet?" Lydia enquires, crossing the room and sitting on Lucas's side of the bed.

"I'm almost there," Riley agrees, picking a piece of lint off of her blankets.

"I brought something that might help," Lydia suggested, handing a wrapped package over to Riley.

Riley carefully peels the paper off and is surprised to find a collection of burned DVD's that are labeled with surgeries, "Are all of these neonatal?"

"I know that it was an interest of yours when you were in school and they're long," Lydia offers and Riley laughs.

"Thank you," Riley says, setting the DVD's onto her nightstand.

"I know that Isla is wonderful, but I was thinking that it might be better to transfer your care to me for the time being. It will save you the two-hour drive and I have a pretty good success rate with delivering multiples," Lydia offered.

"It seems kind of right, to have you deliver them," Riley admitted.

"I think so, too," Lydia agreed.

"How does your husband feel about you being here?" Riley questioned.

"He's not thrilled, but he gets it," Lydia sighed and Riley decided not to press.

"Hailey should be getting out of school soon," Riley said, shifting her position and adjusting the pillow behind her back.

"Oh, I'm supposed to pick her up. I'll be back," Lydia promised, squeezing Riley's hand before she darted out the way that she had come.

Riley turned her attention to her present. The videos held Riley's attention better than anything else she had watched had and she spent several hours completely immersed in watching these miraculous surgeries. It almost made her regret not taking the neonatal fellowship that she had been offered, but at the end of the day she loved her current job and there was no way that she could care for two babies and go back to training.

"I'm bringing you food," Hailey announced as she let herself into the carriage house.

Riley paused the video and closed the screen, watching as Hailey brought her a bag of take-out.

"What's everyone up to?" Riley asked, hoping for a distraction.

"Aunt Lydia and Dad are at the practice, while we wait for the voting booths to close and I'm supposed to meet Troy for a drive-in movie in about ten minutes. You don't mind if I'm back a little late, do you?" Hailey rambled, as Riley pulled the burger out of the bag.

"Go, have fun," Riley sighed, "Is Troy anyone that I should know about?"

"He's just a friend," Hailey insisted, "I'll see you later."

"Be safe and make good choices," Riley called after her, groaning as she was left alone again.

She snagged her phone off of the bed and dialed Farkle's number, waiting as it rang.

"Hey, Riles, what's up?" Farkle answered.

"How's your frozen yogurt plan going?" Riley questioned.

"Zay wants to help, he's talking about moving back with me," Farkle informed her.

"Now, all you have to do is talk to Maya and we could get the whole gang back together," Riley suggested, smiling.

"She got hired on at another gallery, did you hear?" Farkle asked.

"No, when did this happen?"

"She signed the contract today, so I don't think she'll be moving to Wyoming with us anytime soon," Farkle replied.

"She could still do paintings for them from here," Riley pointed out.

"I don't think that she's leaving Josh anytime soon, do you?" Farkle reminded her and she heard the sound of shuffling in the background.

"What are you doing?" Riley pressed, not ready to end the conversation.

"Smackle asked me to look over a case for her, I'm just going through the briefs now," Farkle answered.

"Anything interesting?"

"Nothing that I can tell you about. Lucas says that you've been acting weird when he calls you," Farkle hinted and Riley rolled her eyes.

"He's the one who's been acting weird. I hear from him about once a day and he usually sounds really busy," Riley explained, venting her frustrations.

"He loves you, Riley. Everything that he's doing right now, is to plan a future with you," Farkle said, gently.

"You don't think that he'll regret moving here?" Riley asked, wondering if Lucas had talked more to Farkle then he had to her.

"I don't think it matters where you live, I think what matters is that you're together," Farkle replied, "My real estate agent actually found a house and I think you should look at it."

"I've looked at everything in a ten-mile radius," Riley reminded him.

"I'll send you the link, just look at it," Farkle said.

"Okay," Riley sighed.

"We'll be home soon, hang in there."

"Goodnight," Riley said, hanging up the phone.

She grabbed her lap top and was surprised to find that Farkle had already sent her the link. She pulled it up and a smile instantly spread across her face. It was perfect.

 **Saturday**

Riley watched a fly moving around over her head and felt herself slowly losing her mind. How was she expected to stay in bed for eight weeks with bugs roaming freely around her living space? And why were there an uneven number of stars up on her ceiling? One of them was always going to feel left out.

"Special delivery," Hailey announced as she dragged a reluctant animal through her door.

"This is why we have flies," Riley groaned, trying to figure out what it was. It was currently being blocked by the couch.

"It's from Blake," Hailey announced.

"How exactly is he sending me presents from beyond the grave?" Riley asked skeptically, as the animal came into view.

"He special ordered it and it showed up at his previous residence. They called Dad and we figured that you could use the entertainment."

"It's a goat," Riley stated.

"It's a pygmy goat," Hailey clarified, picking it up, so that Riley could see.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that it's going to stay small," Hailey offered, "She's kind of cute, isn't she?"

"Yeah, does she have a name?" Riley enquired, reaching out to run her hands through her fur.

"I called Farkle and he was with Lucas, who suggested Charlie. He said something about how that name completely embodies the essence of goat-like behavior," Hailey offered.

"Did he?" Riley snorted.

"I think that she needs a strong name, something with character," Hailey said, frowning as she set the goat into her lap and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Well, while you think on that, maybe you should take her outside," Riley suggested.

"Yeah, she's not trained," Hailey agreed, picking up the goat as she headed for the door.

Thinking about trying to name the goat reminded Riley of another set of names she was supposed to be thinking about and she managed to kill two hours looking through baby names. She spent another hour highlighting portions of the parenting books she'd made Hailey retrieve from the practice.

She was just starting to get bored when her phone started ringing.

"Riley Mathews," she answered, marking her page and setting the book aside.

"You dropped the doctor," Lucas commented.

"I'm not doing much doctoring at the moment," Riley pointed out.

"How is bed rest going?" Lucas enquired, sounding more relaxed then he had the last few times that she had talked to him.

"It's not going anywhere at the moment. I didn't realize how big my stomach had gotten until I had to stare at it all day," Riley complained.

"I'm sure you're beautiful," Lucas disagreed.

"Not pretty?" Riley questioned.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Not when you're the reason my stretch marks have stretch marks," Riley replied.

"Well, I'm not going to apologize for impregnating you," Lucas informed her and Riley laughed.

"I don't really mind the stretch marks," Riley admitted, "Especially when I think about how terrified I was that I would never get the chance to be pregnant."

"I miss you," Lucas sighed and Riley felt some of her fears start to disappear.

"I miss you, too," Riley returned.

 **Sunday**

The results of the election came in at midnight and they all happened to be gathered in the carriage house. Lydia had made everyone dinner and Hailey had talked them into a movie that none of them were actually watching.

"What if I lose?" Roy questioned and Riley looked at him in surprise.

"What we should really be talking about is what we're going to do when you win," Riley answered, "How are you going to divide your time between being coroner and the practice."

"I've been telling you for years that it's time to take on a third or even a fourth doctor," Lydia spoke up and Riley could see Roy's shoulders tense at Lydia's nagging.

"I gave my campaign speech dressed up as the grim reaper with two teenage girls standing behind me," Roy pointed out.

"People are going to be talking about that forever," Hailey laughed.

"If you lose, we'll just have to try again," Riley said.

"Susan can't live forever," Lydia added, "And she's getting up there in years."

"So am I," Roy reminded them.

"Daddy, you have to stick around for quite a bit longer. I have to get through college, you have to walk me down the aisle, you have to meet your grandchildren," Hailey listed.

"That I'll deliver," Lydia cut in.

"I might deliver them," Riley spoke up and Hailey smiled as she looked back at her.

They lapsed into silence and the movie droned on in the background. Riley couldn't manage to keep the plot straight and for the first time wished that Farkle was there to fill her in on everything that she was missing. Roy and Lydia managed to fall asleep by ten o'clock.

"I think that one's Saturn," Hailey said as they stared up at her glowing ceiling. The movie was over and they both were sprawled out on Riley's bed.

"I can't tell from this angle," Riley replied, shifting onto her side.

"It's almost midnight, do you think we should wake them up?" Hailey asked, pulling out her phone to refresh the government website.

"It won't change anything if they hear the news now, or if they hear it in the morning," Riley pointed out, pulling her blankets more tightly around her.

"I'm thinking about going to NYU," Hailey informed her.

"It's a great school," Riley offered, "I have a lot of good memories there and it happens to be where my little brother goes."

"It's just an awfully long way from home and I'm not sure that I want to leave everything behind," Hailey admitted.

"You can't let fear keep you from living your life. As scary as leaving everything that you've ever known behind is, at some point you have to do it. You have to get out there and make the world your own."

"You're going to be a good Mom," Hailey said.

"Thanks," Riley felt tears gathering in her eyes and she found herself immensely grateful that out of all the places to run to, she had picked here.

"Why is there only one red planet?" Hailey enquired and Riley found herself searching the ceiling for what Hailey was talking about.

"That one's Pluto," Riley smiled.

"It's kind of beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is."

 **Monday**

"I bought a house," Riley informed Maya over the phone.

"Without Lucas?" Maya asked hesitantly.

"I've been stuck in this bed for days and it seemed like a good idea at the time, but, Maya, I bought a house," Riley repeated, trying to convey her panic over what she had done.

"Well, that's great," Maya decided and Riley let out a groan.

"It's not great, this is the exact opposite of great. I thought it was incredibly romantic, but Lucas is going to be annoyed and Roy is going to kill me and Hailey is going to be incredibly disappointed."

"I don't know what any of those things mean," Maya pointed out.

"I bought a ranch," Riley repeated and she could tell Maya was rolling her eyes, even if she couldn't see her.

"It's connected to the house, right?" Maya questioned.

"The house is on it."

"Then I don't really see what your problem is," Maya sighed.

Riley informed her and Maya burst into laughter.

 **Tuesday**

"What's that for?" Riley questioned as Lydia brought her a gourmet cupcake.

"You've made it on bedrest for a week, I would say that you deserve a reward," Lydia replied, presenting it to her.

"I really appreciate everything that you've done to help out," Riley thanked her, licking the frosting off the top of the cupcake.

"You're family, Riley. After everything that we've been through and how well you've taken care of the people that I love, I think it's pretty safe to assume that you're one of us," Lydia smiled.

"There's a box in that drawer right there," Riley informed her, "There might be a ring in it."

"You haven't opened it?" Lydia questioned, looking at her as though she were crazy.

"A ring would change everything," Riley admitted, "And I don't know what to do."

"Do you want to open it?" Lydia asked.

"Yes," Riley groaned, "But I can't do it."

"You know; some things are worth waiting for."

"I'm just not sure if getting married is the right thing," Riley sighed.

"It might be earrings," Lydia offered, checking her watch.

"Go, save lives, while I slowly wither away," Riley pointed towards the door.

"He's going to be here in a couple of hours, you're wait is almost over," Lydia assured her, kissing Riley's forehead before she headed for the door.

Somehow, that didn't make Riley feel any better.

Farkle was the first one through the door and he happened to be wearing one of Roy's campaign shirts, "Riley, we won!"

"I know," Riley smiled, returning his hug.

"I had some concerns for a minute, but Roy actually pulled it off," Farkle shook his head, drawing back.

"Roy pulled it off?" Riley asked skeptically.

"He kept ignoring the notes that I gave him at the debates," Farkle groaned, "It was a good thing that he was wearing the costume."

"I'm sure it was," Riley attempted to keep a straight face and failed.

"Hey," Lucas greeted her from the doorway.

"Hi," Riley returned, relieved to have him standing in front of her.

"Hey," he repeated, dropping his bag on the couch as he moved towards her.

Neither of them noticed Farkle leaving as Lucas pressed his lips to hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He was actually here; he had come back. When they broke the kiss he rested his forehead against hers and she closed her eyes as she savored how nice it was to be so close to him.

"I missed you," he said and she moved over on the bed, so that he could lay down next to her.

"I'm glad you're here," Riley admitted, burying her face in his shirt.

"I know things were kind of weird with me in New York, but I want you to know that you were always on my mind," he assured her, running his hand through her hair.

"There's something that I need to tell you," Riley sighed, biting her lip, as she pulled away so that she could see him.

"There's something that I need to explain to tell you, too, but first I need those pants that I left here," he said, leaving her to go into the bathroom.

"It's not in there," Riley called, closing her eyes as he turned back towards her.

"What?"

"The black box is in my nightstand," Riley confessed, her eyes still firmly closed.

"Did you open it?" he asked, his voice coming closer.

"No, I didn't," Riley assured him, "It fell out and I've held onto it, but I didn't open it."

"Well, do you want to?" he questioned and Riley's eyes opened.

"I don't know, do I?"

He pulled open her nightstand and grabbed the box, sitting down next to her on the bed.

"I love you, Riley. I've loved you for most of my life and whatever future I have, I want you to be a part of it. I want you and our children and the house with the white-picket fence," Lucas said, holding the box out to her.

"Wait," Riley refused to take it, but Lucas cut her off before she could say anything else.

"I know that you're worried that I'm not going to be happy here and I thought a lot about it while I was in New York. This is the future that we talked about; I can do my job the way I've always wanted to and you can do your job. We can be happy here and we can build the life that we want here," Lucas gently opened her hand and deposited the box into it.

Riley stared into his hopeful eyes and found herself mechanically opening the box.

"It's a key," Riley stated, staring at the shiny, silver key that was inside.

"I know that you were worried that I was going to decide to stay in New York, but I want you to know that I was always going to come back. Riley, I bought us a house."

 **I'm sorry that it took me so long to get this chapter out. I had the hardest time writing it and then I watched the new episode and it completely threw my characterization off for the characters(If anyone else has seen Girl Meets High School Part 1, I would love to hear your thoughts on it). Thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed! If you're interested, Maya is telling her side of this story in my new story, "Heat Stroke." I would love it if you would leave me a review! Thanks again!**


	24. In my Veins

**29 Weeks**

"How did you not know?" Riley demanded, slamming the door to Roy's house.

"Know what? And aren't you supposed to be in bed?" Farkle questioned, looking up from where he had collapsed on the couch.

"That Lucas bought me a house. You're his best friend," Riley reminded him, trying to wrap her mind around the situation that she suddenly found herself in.

"He bought you a house?" Farkle exclaimed, looking at her in shock.

"Yes, Farkle, Lucas bought me a house in Sunbreak and I bought us a ranch in Austin, Texas," Riley informed him.

"You bought Pappy Joe's ranch?" Farkle clarified, his eyes widening.

"It was supposed to be a compromise. And now what am I supposed to do?" Riley snapped, moving over to sink down on the couch next to him.

"Get back in bed, for one thing. Where is Lucas, anyway?" Farkle asked, looking around the room.

"I sent him out for groceries," Riley admitted.

"So, we should get you back before he realizes that you got up and walked all the way to the main house," Farkle decided, offering her his arm to lean on.

"I haven't had any contractions since I got up," Riley informed him, but she took his arm, anyway.

"Let's not push it," Farkle insisted, guiding her out of the main house.

"So, frozen yogurt?" Riley enquired as they made their way across the lawn.

"Zay owns a bakery, there are some people looking to buy it, and if things go as planned he'll move out here and we'll open up a frozen yogurt shop," Farkle explained.

"You really want to live here? Even when you gave me a listing for a house in Texas?" Riley pressed, letting Farkle open her door for her.

"I need to stop doing things because of you. You've got Lucas now and there needs to be a shift in our relationship," Farkle explained as Riley got back into the bed.

"I know," Riley admitted, "I just don't like change."

"It's not change, it's evolution," Farkle replied, moving into her kitchen to get a drink.

Riley sunk back into her pillows and watched as Farkle moved around the carriage house. He moved things back to where they were supposed to be, from when Hailey had been staying with her and she couldn't help, but think how easily he fit into her life. He knew her and he knew where things went.

She thought back to Hailey telling her that Farkle still loved her and though he had never said the words, didn't every one of his actions tell her that? He had been willing to have an entire life with her, knowing that she might never love him back. Had he hoped that she would get over Lucas and learn to love him?

"What are you thinking about?" Lucas asked, sinking into the bed next to her. Farkle had left as soon as Lucas had gotten back and she'd recognized the look on Farkle's face. She'd worn it enough times when she had seen Lucas with Maya.

"It still bothers me that you went through an entire pregnancy with Maya," Riley informed him, shifting so that she could see his face, "I know that I need to get passed it and I know that some of it was my fault, but it still bothers me."

"It bothers me that you were living with Farkle before I moved here," Lucas offered, reaching over to twine her fingers with his.

"You sounded distant when you were in New York and you didn't call me as often as I thought you would," Riley stated, biting her lip.

"I told my parents that you were pregnant," Lucas admitted, his eyes refusing to meet hers.

"What did they say?" Riley questioned, a sinking feeling settling in her stomach.

"My father asked me what I was doing with my life. He wasn't happy that we just went through a lawsuit for a baby that wasn't mine to find out that I had gotten someone else pregnant," Lucas said bitterly.

"And your mother?" Riley felt the need to ask, her free hand moving to her stomach.

"She told me that I should get a paternity test before I completely change my life for someone," Lucas admitted and Riley almost laughed at the strangeness of the situation.

"Do you want a paternity test?"

"No, I've known you for most of my life, I'm not worried about whether or not I'm these babies father. I've just spent all of my life trying to live up to my parent's expectations, trying to make up for the son that they lost and none of it has ever been good enough," Lucas sighed.

"I'm sorry," Riley apologized, stroking his knuckle with her thumb.

"Did I ever tell you how I proposed to Maya?" Lucas questioned and Riley raised her eyebrows at the topic change.

"You really want to tell it to me?" Riley returned.

"I wasn't even thinking about marrying her, until my mother found out. She has something of a soft-spot for Maya and she wanted things to work out. She just left the ring and the note on my counter one day," Lucas explained, "And she kept pushing about needing a legal link to Maya's child and it all made so much sense at the time. Until, that night with you."

"The timing wasn't great," Riley said, staring up at her ceiling.

"After that fight we had at the hospital, I returned the ring to my mother. I couldn't bring myself to marry Maya, not when I was so in love with you and not when I had a ring sitting in my sock drawer that had always been meant for you," Lucas continued, "My mom decided to give it back to me, while I was at dinner with her and Maya. She just handed the ring across the table and Maya was looking at me with all of this hope and I made a mistake."

"You had a ring for me?" Riley clarified, looking at him in shock.

"I bought it the summer we spent in Texas. I knew that someday I was going to ask you to marry me, granted you've worried me a couple of times," Lucas confessed.

"I've worried you?" Riley scoffed, laughing at him.

"You're my family, Riley. You and the babies are all that matter, for the rest of our lives," Lucas said, and she turned so that she could face him.

"That sounds an awful lot like a proposal," Riley informed him, echoing the words from forever ago.

"When I ask you to marry me and spend the rest of your life with me, Riley Mathews, there won't be the need for any clarification," he recited.

"So, do I get to see this ring?" Riley pressed, his breathe brushing her face.

"I can't just ask you to marry me when you're expecting it," Lucas insisted, reaching over to brush a strand of hair from her face.

"It's probably good to wait awhile. You did just get out of an engagement," Riley reminded him.

"My previous fiancée did give us her blessing," Lucas offered and Riley rolled her eyes.

"You asked Maya if she would be okay with us getting engaged, in front of Josh?" Riley groaned.

"I didn't ask her as an ex, I asked her because I want to marry her best friend," Lucas informed her.

"You know that traditionally, you ask the parents," Riley pointed out.

"I asked them, too," Lucas said casually.

"You didn't? What did they say?" Riley pressed, trying to imagine the conversation.

"They weren't exactly thrilled that I went from engaged to Maya, to fighting a custody battle with Josh, to the guy who got you pregnant, to wanting to marry you. I think it's going to take them awhile to get used to the idea."

"They don't want us to get married?" Riley clarified, trying to adjust to the idea.

"They think that after all of the mistakes that I've made, you deserve better," Lucas explained, "And maybe they're right."

"The happiest that I have ever been is when I'm with you," Riley argued, "Even when I'm mad at you and even with all of the emotional baggage that we have, you make me feel safe."

"I love you," he leaned over to kiss her and Riley wrapped her arms around his neck before he could pull away. When she imagined the rest of her life, there was no way that he wasn't in it. He was her best friend, her protector, the father of her children, the first person that she wanted to see when she woke up and the last person she wanted to see before she went to sleep. She couldn't imagine ever having to sleep without him by her side ever again.

"I love you, too," Riley said when they finally pulled away.

 **30 Weeks**

"I'm miserable," Riley complained as Lydia sat down across from her. Lucas was out shadowing Jack for the day and Riley was trying to figure out how to tell him that she bought a ranch in Texas. Things were going so well between them that she didn't want to put any more options out on the table. If she were being honest, she didn't want to leave and she was terrified that Lucas would want to relocate them to Texas.

"You're making amazing progress on that jigsaw puzzle," Lydia offered, handing Riley a glass of water and her prenatal vitamins.

"I'm retaining water," Riley reminded her.

"Which is a normal symptom of pregnancy," Lydia insisted.

"I'm bored out of my mind and my very handsome," Riley paused as she tried to find a title for him and gave up, "Person isn't around to entertain me."

"I hope you mean with his dazzling conversation. I gave you a list of dos and don'ts for bedrest," Lydia reminded her.

"I'm following your guidelines," Riley promised, "I just need to know that life exists outside of this room."

"Seven more weeks of bedrest and you can do jumping jacks and whatever else you want to do. By that point, we'll all be praying that you go into labor, anyway," Lydia informed her and Riley frowned.

"Hailey's graduating this week and I'm going to miss it. Farkle's giving a speech," Riley reminded her.

"And I promise that we will video tape the entire thing and you can watch all of it later," Lydia said.

"It's not the same," Riley groaned, as Lydia returned the tray that was holding Riley's puzzle.

"You're right, you get to fast forward through the boring parts," Lydia pointed out, grabbing her bag as she got ready to leave.

"Thank you," Riley called after her.

"Yeah, yeah," Lydia smiled over her shoulder before she closed the door behind her.

Riley spent the day finishing off her puzzle and watching the highlights of Lydia's surgical videos. She was so excruciatingly bored and even the babies seemed oddly restless.

"What do you think?" Hailey questioned as she entered the carriage house. She was wearing a blue, A-line, dress that brought out her eyes.

"You look beautiful," Riley smiled as Hailey twirled in front of her.

"Just tonight and tomorrow and I'm finally done," Hailey laughed, settling into Lucas's side of the bed.

"It's strange, isn't it?" Riley asked as they both stared up at the ceiling.

"A little bit, but, you know, I'm kind of looking forward to getting out of here. I'm ready for some new adventures," Hailey admitted.

"Will Troy be there?" Riley questioned as Lydia checked the time on her cell phone and got up to head the door.

"He's just a friend," Hailey insisted, leaving Riley to her own devices.

She snagged the baby name book from her bedside table and went back to highlighting the ones that she liked.

"I'm home," Lucas announced, sometime later, as he kicked off his shoes and entered the carriage house.

"Did you bring dinner?" Riley questioned, looking up from her book.

"Farkle sent me with this," he said, holding up a bag of plastic containers and heading for the kitchen.

"You'd be so much more attractive if you could cook," Riley informed him as she watched him move around.

"I can cook," Lucas argued, grabbing plates from the cupboard.

"Grilling things doesn't count," Riley said, going back to her book.

"It does where I'm from," Lucas informed her.

"Speaking of Texas, we need to talk," Riley sighed.

"No, I don't think that Texas makes a good baby name, although I am open to Austin," Lucas said, finishing with depositing the food and bringing the plate towards her.

"Austin Friar," Riley tried, "It doesn't have quite the same ring as Mad Dog."

"Or Princess Dancing Sunshine," Lucas offered, grabbing the white board of names they had been adding to.

"I still like Hope," Riley admitted, scooting into the middle of the bed so that the lengths of their bodies touched.

"Okay, but Endurance, Patience, and Chastity have to go," Lucas said, wiping the names away with the eraser.

Riley turned her attention to the casserole, she'd thought they had gotten rid of those after Blake's death, but apparently they were wrong and started picking at it as she glanced over their options. They really weren't narrowing their list down.

"What do you think of Nicolaus Blake, for our son?" Riley suggested in between bites, "After your brother and my honorary one."

"You don't think that Auggie will feel left out?" Lucas checked, setting down the board as he went back to his own meal.

"We still have Auggie, but we lost two very important people and I'd like to honor them," Riley explained.

"I was actually thinking Mathew for the first name. If the kids are getting my last name, don't you think it would be fitting if we found a place for yours?" Lucas questioned, "Mathew Blake Friar or Mathew Nicolaus Friar."

"There are way too many names," Riley complained, finishing off her food and setting her plate on her nightstand before she settled her head on Lucas's chest.

"We still have time," Lucas offered as he ran his hand through her hair.

"Don't remind me."

 **31 Weeks**

"You can't name your child Persephone," Hailey claimed as she flipped through Riley's baby book.

"It's my child, I can name them whatever I want," Riley insisted, snatching the book back from her.

"Lucas insists that none of us can see your house, until you do," Hailey complained, settling back into the pillows.

"I don't want to talk about houses," Riley groaned, knowing that she needed to tell Lucas about the ranch.

"I would think that you would be excited about a new project. You could be picking out paint colors and furniture. Imagine how much time that would eat up," Hailey pointed out.

"I've talked to Auggie and he's going to meet you at the airport," Riley changed the subject, "He's promised to look out for you, while you're in the city."

"Your Mom already called to invite me to dinner," Hailey informed her.

"That's great. If you could mention how wonderful Lucas is and leave out that we're living together, I would really appreciate it," Riley suggested.

"I think that it's romantic that your parents don't approve. You and Lucas should elope," Hailey said, "But I want to be there."

"He would have to ask me to marry him first," Riley complained, thinking about the ring that could be anywhere in the carriage house.

"It's a matter of time. He looks annoyed every time that someone calls you his girlfriend," Hailey informed her.

"Yeah, girlfriend is a weird title for us. There's too much history behind it, but then again, my best friend also claimed the title of his first fiancée," Riley mused.

"You'll still be his first wife and that's all that really matters," Hailey pointed out.

"And hopefully his last," Riley felt the need to add. She winced as she felt a pain in her back, but it went away and she shrugged it off.

 **32 Weeks**

Riley's back pain had returned and it was accompanied by the tightening of her stomach. She knew exactly what it was, but she was pretty sure that if she didn't come out and say it, it might go away. She was doing everything that Lydia had told her to and she hadn't been out of bed since she'd gone to talk to Farkle.

"I need to tell you something," Riley informed Lucas as he walked through the door.

"Okay," Lucas said hesitantly, setting down his things and crossing the room to sit next to her. She'd been thinking about it all day and she really did need to tell him about the ranch, the guilt was killing her.

"While you were in New York, I did something kind of crazy," Riley admitted, trying to find the words to tell him.

"What did you do?" Lucas asked and before Riley could answer, she winced as she felt another contraction.

"I saw that Pappy Joe's ranch was for sale in Texas," Riley explained, pressing her hands to her stomach.

"And?" Lucas pressed when Riley didn't continue.

"I think my water just broke."

 **We're down to one or two chapters left! Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! I've really enjoyed getting to know all of you.**


	25. See You Again

**32 Weeks**

"We're going to start you on a round of antibiotics," Lydia announced as she entered the hospital room in her scrubs, "And I'm going to start you on terbutaline to try and stop your labor. Based on the amount of amniotic fluid that you've lost, I would guess that it's just a hole in the amniotic sac. If we can keep the babies there for another three weeks, I would feel a lot better."

"So, you want to wait to deliver the babies?" Lucas clarified, looking at Lydia incredulously.

"Amniotic fluid regenerates, as long as what I lose is less than what's being made and as long as I don't get an infection, it's better if we wait," Riley cut in, squeezing his hand.

"We'll keep her in the hospital to be monitored and if anything goes wrong we can have her in the OR in three minutes," Lydia promised.

"So, we're back to waiting?" Lucas sighed.

"We're back to waiting," Lydia agreed, giving them a tentative smile before she left the room.

"We just can't catch a break, can we?" Lucas asked as Riley shifted her position in the bed. Her hospital gown was itching her skin and she felt claustrophobic among all of the tubes and machines.

"We haven't seriously talked about girl names," Riley changed the subject, feeling calm despite how out of control everything seemed.

"I thought you wanted Hope," Lucas gave in, running his free hand through his hair.

"I like Hope, it just doesn't entirely feel right," Riley sighed.

"I think we're going to have to see them before we can decide on names," Lucas suggested and Riley nodded, "You were going to tell me something before everything happened."

"I bought the ranch, Lucas. I know I made a big deal out of moving here and I love it here, but for one summer that was our place and when Farkle sent me the listing it seemed like fate," Riley explained, relieved to be getting everything out in the open.

"So, we now," Lucas trailed off.

"We now own a house here and a ranch in Texas," Riley supplied.

 _"_ _Mommy," a voice called, footsteps echoing on the hardwood._

 _"_ _What's wrong?" Riley questioned, looking up from her medical textbook. Her daughter appeared around the corner; her light, brown hair, that was all her father, half straightened._

 _"_ _Mattie blew a fuse, again," the girl complained, placing her hands on her hips._

 _"_ _Doing what?" Riley questioned, as she made her way towards the fuse box._

 _"_ _He has all of those fish tanks in his room that it really doesn't take much," she groaned, following along behind her mother._

 _"_ _Mer, you're the one who plugs in a straightener, a curling iron, and a blow dryer. I think it's a team effort," Riley pointed out, opening the fuse box and flipping the switch._

 _"_ _I wanted a sister, Mom," Mer reminded her, placing her hands on her hips._

 _"_ _If you have complaints about the gender of your siblings, I suggest you take it up with your father. He happens to be the one who determines that part of the DNA," Riley laughed, ruffling her daughter's hair._

 _"_ _Lots of women your age are still having babies," Mer said, glaring at her._

 _"_ _Did you get that line from your father?" Riley asked, taking a deep breath._

 _"_ _No, but you're the only one who doesn't want another baby," Mer pointed out._

 _"_ _I have my reasons."_

Riley snapped awake, wincing her way through the contraction as she took in her surroundings. Lucas was asleep in the chair next to her bed and the machine next to her was recording all of her contractions. She could see the monitors that showed her the babies' heartbeats.

Everything was fine, but she had this feeling that something was terribly wrong. She pulled her phone from the table next to her bed and found several missed calls from Maya and Josh. She'd already talked to Roy and Farkle after she had been admitted. They were supposed to be taking Hailey to the airport in the morning and there wasn't anything actually happening at the hospital for them to be here for.

She dialed Maya's number and waited as it rang.

"Riles, Farkle called to tell me you were in the hospital, what's going on?" Maya demanded as soon as she picked up.

"My amniotic sac is slightly ruptured, but everything looks fine," Riley assured her.

"Don't you have two?" Maya questioned and Riley wondered if she was googling the medical terminology.

"Yes, each of the babies have their own amniotic sac, we're just not entirely sure which one is ruptured or if they both are. Either way, I'm no losing enough amniotic fluid to be worried, yet," Riley replied, adjusting the pillow behind her back.

"Well, either way, Josh, Noah, and I will be flying out next week," Maya insisted.

"You don't have to do that," Riley argued, imagining how awkward that entire situation would be.

"Tickets are bought, you're stuck, but you're going to want me there as a buffer, anyway," Maya replied, a note of amusement entering her voice.

"From what?" Riley pressed.

"Josh called your parents, they're on their way."

 _"_ _Riles," Lucas called, as she entered their bedroom and tossed her jacket onto the bed._

 _"_ _I can't believe that you said that," Riley said, refusing to look at him, as she kicked her shoes off._

 _"_ _It's true; you don't want another child," Lucas pointed out, hovering uncertainly behind her._

 _"_ _It's not that I don't want another child," Riley removed her earrings and set them in her jewelry box._

 _"_ _Then why are we arguing?" Lucas asked, sitting behind her on the bed._

 _"_ _Lucas, it took us three years of trying to get Nick. I'm forty years old, why should we set ourselves up for disappointment?"_

 _"_ _You know that this isn't about whether you can get pregnant," Lucas said and she turned to face him, incredulously._

 _"_ _Are you really bringing it up?" Riley demanded, glaring at him._

 _"_ _Do you really want to end this stage of our lives with a miscarriage?" Lucas returned._

 _"_ _I can't go through it again. I know that you were excited when I told you that I was pregnant, but we've been happy with three kids. We've been happy with our life and we don't need to do anything to change it," Riley insisted, pleading with him to understand._

 _"_ _You've been picking up extra shifts at the hospital," Lucas reminded her and Riley turned her back on him and busied herself with removing her makeup._

 _"_ _Is there an accusation somewhere in there?" Riley asked._

 _"_ _You're not happy. You said you were happy, but we've talked about you opening a practice and you've spent the last ten years giving me excuses why you won't. We worked through your neonatal fellowship, even though it was hard having you working such long hours, and we added on the extension to the house. I know that you've tried to be happy, but I don't think you're happy here," Lucas explained and Riley met his eyes in the mirror._

 _"_ _It's your grandfather's ranch, Lucas, we couldn't just give it up."_

 _"_ _But maybe we should have because I'm happy and you're acting like you're just playing the part," Lucas sighed._

 _"_ _Would you have been any happier in Wyoming?" Riley pointed out, "You were forcing yourself into that, too."_

 _"_ _I liked it there," Lucas disagreed, "And we have family there. Even Farkle and Zay decided to stay there."_

 _"_ _It doesn't matter because we're here and the kids are happy here and you're happy here," Riley ended the conversation._

 _"_ _Your happiness matters, too," Lucas insisted and Riley rubbed her temples as she felt the beginnings of a headache._

 _"_ _Then stop asking me for another baby."_

"We can't send Farkle to pick them up," Riley groaned as they counted down the hours to when her parents flight would get in.

"Why not? They like Farkle," Lucas reminded her.

"This could be good, though. You go and get an entire car ride to show them how great you are," Riley suggested, biting her lip.

"Farkle's using the car, today, remember? We're stuck with the Purple Hearse," Lucas said and Riley let out another groan.

"Maya and Josh will be here next week, we just have to get through the next three days," Riley said, wishing that it would be as easy as it sounded.

"You're right. And, hey, at least it's not my parents flying down here," Lucas added.

"There's that," Riley agreed, their eyes meeting in an understanding gaze.

 _"_ _Governor Friar, what a pleasant surprise," Riley tried not to groan as she opened the door. Almost a decade of marriage to his son and they hadn't progressed past his surname._

 _"_ _Are the kids here?" he asked, looking past her shoulder._

 _"_ _They're swimming in the back, did you, and your security want to come in," Riley suggested, looking at the men in suits that were standing behind him._

 _"_ _Is Lucas here?" Governor Friar asked as she led him through the house._

 _"_ _He's on a house call," Riley replied, pulling open the screen door to where her children were playing in the pool._

 _"_ _Grandpa!" Nick called, darting out of the pool to embrace him. Riley watched as Travis embraced his grandson without any concern for his designer suit and a smile spread across her face, despite her best efforts to suppress it._

 _Riley moved back into the house, watching the children interact with their grandfather through the glass._

 _"_ _Did you know he was coming?" Riley questioned as Lucas made his way through the door that led to the garage._

 _"_ _No," Lucas said, placing a kiss on her cheek._

 _"_ _I still don't think he likes me," Riley mused, turning back to the vegetables that she was chopping._

 _"_ _I think you're growing on him," Lucas disagreed._

"Riley, you should have called us," Topanga insisted, as she moved over to the bed to embrace her daughter.

"It's not that big of a deal," Riley muttered, rolling her eyes as her father glared at Lucas across the room.

"You," Cory commented, his hands clenching into fists.

"Me," Lucas agreed, wearily.

"Can we do this another time?" Riley questioned, watching her heart rate go up on the monitor. The hostility seemed to have a physical presence within the room and even the babies seemed to respond to it.

"How are you feeling?" Cory turned his attention to his daughter and crossed the room to give her a hug.

"Pregnant," Riley replied.

"Well, we know whose fault that is," Cory pointed out and Topanga let out a groan.

"Our daughter is in the hospital, Cory, now really isn't the time," Topanga insisted.

"Then when is the time? I, at least, had the decency to wait to impregnate someone until I was in a stable and committed relationship," Her father ranted, but Riley cut him off before he could continue.

"But Josh didn't and you still love him. I wasn't exactly an unwilling participant in getting pregnant," Riley reminded him, watching as the color drained out of her father's face at the proclamation.

"Your father and I are going to go check into a hotel, we'll be back to check on you later," Topanga said, wrapping her arms around her husband as she led him back out of the room.

"He didn't try to kill me," Lucas offered when they were out of sight.

"We still have to get through five more weeks and something tells me that they'll want to stay when our children get here," Riley pointed out, squeezing his hand.

"The Sunbreak house has six bedrooms," Lucas said, "The ranch only has three."

"The ranch has good memories and it's an important part of your family," Riley added, wondering if he was listing the number of bedrooms as benefits or detractions, "But I'll have to find a replacement at the practice and that might prove difficult."

"We have to make a decision soon, we can't afford to pay for both of them and we need a place to take our children home to," Lucas sighed.

 _"_ _How far has it progressed?" Lucas questioned after the children had gone to bed. Riley held his hand as Travis explained the purpose of his visit; numb to how she should react._

 _"_ _They think that it spread from the breast cancer that she had a few years back and we just didn't catch it in time. They're giving her a year and she has to continue treatments," Travis said quietly._

 _"_ _Why isn't Mom the one here telling us?" Lucas demanded, "Didn't she think that we had a right to know."_

 _"_ _Your mother is a complicated woman and she's also a proud one. We spend most of our time pretending that nothing is wrong," Travis explained, "I just figured that you would want the opportunity to make your peace."_

 _"_ _Make my peace? After everything that she's put us through. You of all people, know how difficult she is. The two of you haven't lived together or even talked in years," Lucas reminded him, taking his hand from Riley as he ran his hands through his hair in agitation._

 _"_ _We're living together, now. We're trying, Lucas," Travis said patiently._

 _Riley could tell from the set of Lucas's shoulders that the news was starting to settle in and that he was more upset about this then he was letting on. She stared intently at her lap as she tried to figure out how she could best support him._

 _"_ _Do you want to come with me?" Lucas asked, when they entered their bedroom later that evening. He sat on the edge of the bed and Riley moved over to her vanity to start getting ready for bed._

 _"_ _If you want me to be there, I'll be there," Riley replied, staring at her face in the mirror._

 _"_ _Of course I want you there, but maybe it would be better," he trailed off and Riley knew exactly what he was trying to say._

 _"_ _You should take the kids to see Maya and Josh while you're there," Riley sighed, running a brush through her hair._

 _"_ _I can do that," Lucas agreed and she wearily met his eyes in the mirror._

 **33 Weeks**

"Hi, Honey," Maya greeted her as she entered the room, "I brought you a surprise."

"Is it shiny?" Riley questioned, ready for a distraction.

"Not exactly," Maya shrugged as she extended an arm towards the door.

"Hey, Sugar," Zay smiled as he entered the hospital room.

"Zay," Riley returned the greeting, holding her arms out for a hug, "It's been awhile."

"Are you going to eat that?" Zay pointed to the tray of hospital food that Riley had shoved to the side.

"Go for it," Riley suggested.

"How's bedrest?" Maya questioned, sinking into the chair by Riley's bed. Zay had claimed the one that Lucas usually sat in and was poking at her Jello.

"Boring," Riley replied, shifting her position, "Has my father killed Lucas, yet?"

"Not, as of," Maya paused to check the time, "Two hours ago."

"This is disgusting," Zay commented, as he took a bite of her food.

"Then why are you eating it?" Maya questioned, rolling her eyes.

"I can't stop," Zay admitted, taking another bite.

"You look kind of tired," Maya mused.

"I've been having the weirdest dreams," Riley admitted, "They seem so real."

"Vivid dreams come with pregnancy. I did some of my best artwork when I was pregnant," Maya explained, shifting in the chair.

"Where is Noah? I wanted to see him."

"He's with Josh for the day. I can bring him by later," Maya promised.

"How are you and Josh?" Riley questioned.

"You want to hear a good Maya and Josh story?" Zay spoke up and Maya shot him a glare.

"Yes," Riley said, leaning forward in interest.

"You say anything and the last meal you eat will be whatever that was," Maya hissed.

"What happened?" Riley demanded, looking between them.

"I may have, sort of, possibly kissed him," Maya admitted, staring intently at the floor.

"When?" Riley asked, turning to Zay when it appeared that Maya wasn't going to answer.

"Noah screamed the entire flight," Zay complained, "Nothin' any of us could do could get him to quiet down. And we tried everything; we fed him, we read to him. People were looking at us like they were planning to throw us off the plane. So, Josh finally got the kid to sleep and."

"And I was so relieved that I kissed him," Maya finished.

"Maya?" Riley pressed.

"What?" Maya returned.

"Is this going to be a recurring thing?"

"I don't know, we haven't even talked about it," Maya confessed, looking around in agitation.

"Maybe you should," Riley suggested, leaning back.

"When are you going to decide on a house with Huckleberry?" Maya changed the subject. Riley figured it was a good sign that Maya was back to nicknames with Lucas.

"I don't know; he refuses to show favoritism towards either one. It makes it very difficult to figure out what he wants to do," Riley complained.

"What do you want to do?" Maya asked, looking happy to no longer be the main topic of conversation.

"I want to be happy, with Lucas, and our children," Riley groaned.

"I don't think it matters where you live, then."

 _"_ _Riles, you're out of toothpaste," Auggie called, as he found her sitting in the couch in the living room, gazing out of the window._

 _"_ _There should be more in my bathroom, under the sink," Riley suggested, turning to look at him._

 _"_ _You want to talk?" he asked, making his way into the room_

 _"_ _Do you?" Riley countered, folding her arms._

 _"_ _I will, if you will," Auggie suggested and Riley gave a nod._

 _"_ _Lucas and the kids have been gone for three weeks and I miss them," Riley explained, "And without them here, I feel kind of lost."_

 _"_ _Why don't you go join them?" Auggie said, sitting down next to her._

 _"_ _I don't know, there's this part of me that can't believe I really let them leave without me, but Lucas told me to stay here," Riley sighed._

 _"_ _And you listened?" Auggie asked, incredulously._

 _"_ _I know that normally nothing would have kept me away, but we've been so tense lately. We used to fight, but now we just don't talk and I'm watching the love of my life slip away from me."_

 _"_ _You should do something," Auggie insisted._

 _"_ _I don't see you out there fighting for your own marriage," Riley pointed out, "That's why you're here, right?"_

 _"_ _I love Ava, Riles, but she's all I've ever known. I've catered my entire life to trying to make her happy and I realized that I missed out on making myself happy, in the process. I'm not sure that I even want to fight, anymore," Auggie confessed._

 _"_ _I know what it's like not to have Lucas and as hard as things in our marriage have gotten, I still think that's worse," Riley said, thinking through his words._

 _"_ _I thought that being here would help me see what it's like not to have her, but I don't think that it's going to be that easy. I kissed, Hailey, you know."_

 _"_ _I'm sorry?" Riley asked, looking at him in shock._

 _"_ _It was before I was married, when we were in college. I kissed her and we agreed it was a mistake, but I've always wondered," Auggie shrugged._

 _"_ _That's the problem with decisions, you always have a whole other set of possibilities that you miss out on when you make them," Riley groaned._

 _"_ _Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you had stayed in Wyoming?" Auggie asked._

 _"_ _All the time."_

 **34 Weeks**

"I don't like him," Riley said as she looked through the pile of candidates that Roy had brought her.

"He's perfectly qualified to fill Blake's position," Roy insisted, as she added him to the discard pile.

"He's not going to fit in with the vibe of the office. Roy, he lists golf as one of his hobbies," Riley wrinkled her nose.

"I like golf," Roy protested.

"Exactly, our third person can't be another you. They have to have energy and dreams. They have to be young and vibrant and full of life," Riley insisted, discarding the next one.

"You're making this process incredibly painful," Roy groaned as he watched her.

"When we meet the person who is going to replace Blake. We'll know it," Riley said, tossing aside another candidate.

"We aren't going to find another Blake," Roy sighed, "There was only one."

"I know that," Riley pleaded, "But none of these people feel right."

"Please don't make her choose," Lucas added, from where he was resting his head on the edge of Riley's bed, "This is the only thing keeping her entertained."

"I guess a couple more weeks wouldn't hurt," Roy decided.

"They have to mesh with us," Riley repeated, looking through another file.

"I have patients this afternoon and your mother has been filling in as our receptionist. I asked Farkle to watch her, but there's no telling what she's done, while I've been gone. I'll see you later?" Roy said, standing up from his seat.

"Good luck," Riley offered, as he left.

Riley winced and Lucas's head snapped up as he seemed to sense it, "Everything okay?"

"I've just been having little contractions," Riley admitted, "But they don't feel serious."

"You'll let me know if they start to?" Lucas insisted, twining his fingers with hers.

"I promise," Riley agreed.

"We need to make a decision on the house," Lucas changed the subject, though his eyes were still on the various monitors that were hooked up to her. He knew what all of them were by now and Riley had half-a-mind to suggest they hire Lucas to replace Blake. He'd learned a surprising number of medical things over the time he'd been taking care of her.

"I'm waiting for you to tell me what you want," Lucas informed her, "I don't want you to just go along with what I suggest."

"And I don't want you to just go along with what I want," Riley added.

"So, what do we do?"

 _"_ _I have a compromise for you," Riley said, climbing into the bed next to Lucas. He had been distant since he'd gotten back and Riley knew that it was time to do something to bridge the gap._

 _"_ _Auggie's taller than me," Lucas complained and Riley groaned as she realized that he wasn't listening._

 _"_ _He's grown up," Riley pointed out, curling into his side._

 _"_ _He tried to bench more than me at the gym the other day, too. He didn't, but he's close, Riley, and he's a lot younger than me. He'll probably still be improving, when I go into a decline," Lucas panicked._

 _"_ _I still find you very attractive," Riley whispered into his ear, finally earning his full attention._

 _"_ _How attractive?" Lucas asked and Riley resisted the urge to roll her eyes._

 _"_ _You're still in amazing shape, you've paid off all your student loans, which is pretty hot, and you're the father of my children," Riley listed, "You could still pose on the cover of magazines, while your wife now has gray hairs."_

 _"_ _Since when?" Lucas said, rolling over so that they were both facing each other on their sides._

 _"_ _I found a few while you were gone," Riley admitted, "But that's not what I want to talk about."_

 _"_ _I'm not sure that I can handle anything heavy right now," he informed her and Riley reached out to cup the half of his face she could get to._

 _"_ _I've come up with a compromise," Riley repeated, stroking his cheek with her thumb._

 _"_ _Okay, what's your compromise?" Lucas gave in, watching her wearily._

 _"_ _I'm ready to try for another baby," Riley offered, watching as his face brightened, "But, I want to move."_

 _"_ _Where do you want to move to?" Lucas asked hesitantly._

 _"_ _I don't know, but I need a change, Lucas. I love this ranch and I love that it's a part of your family and a part of ours, but when I bought it, I was trying to capture who we were in the past and we've grown and changed since then. We're not those people anymore and we weren't when I bought it," Riley explained, watching as he thought her answer through._

 _"_ _So, what you're saying is that it's time to let go?" Lucas clarified._

 _"_ _I've let the past control me for far too long, the letting go is overdue."_

 _"_ _Okay," Lucas agreed, "But I think we need to start trying for a baby immediately."_

 _"_ _Immediately, huh?" Riley smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and closing the space between them._

 _"_ _Gray hairs, or not, you're still the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen," Lucas assured her before pressing his lips to hers._

"How long have you been having these contractions?" Lydia asked, interrupting their conversation as she moved over to the computer.

"They're not strong," Riley said.

"But they're pretty close together, I'm going to examine you," Lydia said, pulling on a set of sterile gloves and moving to the foot of the bed, "The amount of amniotic fluid that you're discharging has increased. I think this might be it."

"It, it?" Riley asked, "Like the babies are coming, right now?"

"Enjoy the contractions that you're having right now because it's only going to get worse from here," Lydia said, tossing her gloves into the garbage and leaving Riley and Lucas a moment to process what was happening.

"I think we should go," Riley turned to him, squeezing his hand.

"What?" Lucas asked.

"I think we should move to the ranch in Texas. It's where you grew up and we have lots of happy memories there," Riley listed, "And it's what you want, right?"

A contraction kept Lucas from responding and Riley's free hand went to her stomach as she breathed her way through it.

"I think you need to see the house that I bought for us before we make any decisions," Lucas said when it had passed.

"We're having the babies," Riley laughed, as the knowledge hit her.

"I love you," Lucas said, staring at her intently.

"I love you, too. Always," Riley promised.

For the first time in weeks, Riley was allowed to get up and roam the hallways. She'd vetoed the epidural because she felt that it was somehow fitting that she delivered her children the same way that Rose had. It had been Rose who had given her hope, when she had been read to give up.

"This is a lot worse than I thought it would be," Riley admitted, as she bent over to brace herself through another contraction.

"You're doing great," Lydia assured her, "Your parents are in the waiting room and the rest of your family; blood and otherwise are on their way."

Lucas was currently in the waiting room giving her family an update.

"And now I'm here," Maya said, stopping in front of Riley.

"I thought you were waiting with everyone else," Riley said, as she looked up.

"You got me through my birth and now it's my turn to get you through yours," Maya said, holding her hand out.

"Ring power?" Riley asked, as she took her best friends hand.

"Ring power," Maya agreed and the three women continued their trek down the hall.

Riley's labor progressed more quickly than they had planned on, probably because they had spent so much time trying to put it off. She only made it a few laps before the pain became enough that she was ready to be back in the privacy of her own room.

"You could still get the drugs," Maya said, as Riley attempted to breathe through the excruciating pressure that she was experiencing.

"I don't need the drugs," Riley insisted, grinding her teeth.

"But no one would think less of you, if you did get them," Lucas assured her. He seemed to be suffering just as much as she was and Riley almost considered the epidural just because she knew that he didn't like seeing her in pain.

"I'm not getting them," Riley repeated and then let out a groan.

"I think we're just about ready for you to start pushing," Lydia said, from the foot of the bed. Maya and Lucas had each taken one of Riley's sides and Riley's forehead was coated in sweat.

"Now?" Riley questioned as she grunted her way through another contraction.

"Now," Lydia agreed and Riley concentrated her efforts on getting her baby out of her, "I can see the head, there's a lot of dark hair."

"Really?" Riley asked, bracing herself to push again.

"I think two more pushes will get this one out," Lydia encouraged her.

Riley complied and a smile spread across her face as her baby slid out into the world. It immediately started crying and Riley realized what all of those mother's meant when they said that their babies were perfect. She couldn't imagine anything more beautiful than the baby in front of her.

"It's your boy," Maya smiled, as Lydia handed Riley the baby.

"He's so little," Riley said in wonder as she cuddled him to her chest.

"He looks like a Matthew," Lucas said and Maya nodded her agreement.

"Matthew Friar," Riley tried, and the baby opened his eyes to look up at her, "I think he likes it, too."

Riley felt a dizziness overcome her as she handed the baby to Lucas.

"There's a little more blood than what I'd like to see," Lydia admitted, as she looked up at Riley.

"That's more than a little," Maya disagreed, as her attention turned to the foot of the bed.

"Let's get her to the OR," Lydia demanded, panic taking over her face. One of the monitors had started beeping loudly and Riley felt like she might fall asleep.

"Wait," she said as they started to wheel her bed out of the room.

"What?" Maya asked, following along beside her. Lucas was still holding the baby, frozen as he tried to process what was going on.

"Summer, my daughter's name is supposed to be, Summer," Riley told her.

"She will be," Maya promised as everything went black.

 **Thank you for reading!** **So, I've discovered that I get inspiration to write, whenever I open my textbooks and try to focus on reading them. You can thank Bioethics for the last half of this chapter. I'm trying to get all of the big characters some screen time and it made this chapter really fun to write. I put hints for the plotline of the sequel all over, so I'm way interested to hear your thoughts.**

 **In other news, I'm thinking that I'm going to take down, "Heat Stroke," for the time being. I do love the idea of exploring Maya's story, but all of my inspiration lately has been for this one and I'd like to be able to have, "Heat Stroke," be quality writing and not just me forcing myself to hit plot points. I also, am juggling school and I would like to spend some time on some of my original work, so trying to do two stories at once might prove to be a bit much.**

 **Thank you for everyone who reviewed last chapter! I know, I'm behind on responses, but I figured you would rather have the chapter, so that's what I've focused on. I'm hoping to get caught up in the next few days. I am so excited for the show to air this weekend! And between that and some of the stuff I have going, it might be a few days before I have the next chapter up. Thanks again!**


	26. All Our Lives

_"_ _My first emergency C-section was a lot like this," Riley mused, feeling oddly detached._

 _"_ _Did you freak out?"_

 _"_ _There wasn't time to. When someone starts hemorrhaging like that, you don't think, you just move," Riley explained, watching the hospital bed that was being wheeled down the hallway._

 _"_ _So, in your expert opinion."_

 _"_ _The placenta didn't detach; they're going to have to remove it surgically and deliver the baby," Riley said, trailing along behind them._

 _"_ _We don't have to watch."_

 _"_ _I'd like to see them deliver the baby. Do you mind?" Riley questioned, sliding through the door that led to the OR._

 _"_ _I've got nothing, but time."_

 _"_ _It's weird, being dead, isn't it?" Riley said, as they watched the doctors scrub in and the surgical tools be put into place._

 _"_ _You get used to it," Blake assured her._

"Scalpel," Lydia demanded, holding her hand out, as a nurse tied the strings on the back of her gown. She'd promised that she could have Riley to the OR in three minutes, but she hadn't factored the amount of time it would take to get scrubbed in, to set everything up, to make sure that Riley wouldn't regain consciousness, while she was operating. And the entire time Riley was losing blood in alarming amounts.

"Doctor Breeland?" a new voice asked, as Lydia made her first incision.

"Yes?" Lydia replied, not looking up from her work. She'd specialized in both women's health and fertility, but it had been awhile since she'd performed a C-section.

"I'm Isla Green, I was Doctor Mathew's previous doctor. I wondered if there was anything that I could do to help out," Isla said, her voice hesitant.

"Scrub in, Doctor Green. I'll take all the help that I can get," Lydia assured her, reaching her hand out for the scissors she needed to get through the next layer.

"Okay," Isla agreed, the door closing as she went to wash her hands.

The sound of the machines beeping drew Lydia out of her concentration and she glanced up to check the monitors, "Let's hang another unit of blood and push it. I'm almost to the uterus."

"Got it," a nurse called back, switching out Riley's IV bags.

"She's losing more blood then we can transfuse," the nurse informed her, as she squeezed the bag of blood.

"More suction," Lydia demanded, as Riley's daughter came into view.

"Blood pressure is dropping," Isla said as she entered the room. She replaced the person in Lydia's first-assist position and took over the suction that he had been holding.

"Baby's out," Lydia announced, immediately handing the baby over to the nurse.

"Baby's not breathing," the nurse claimed, as she moved the baby to the side of the room.

"Don't tell me about it, do something," Lydia snapped, working to remove both of the placentas and stop the bleeding.

One of the machines starting beeping again and Lydia let out a groan, "Mother's flat lining."

"Start compressions," Isla suggested as Lydia continued her work.

"We're in v-fib," someone announced.

"Let's shock her," Lydia said, dropping the first placenta in a tray and backing away from the table.

"Clear," the same person said, pressing the paddles to Riley's chest.

"No response," the nurse who was watching the monitors informed them.

"Go again," Lydia insisted, "And let's get another unit of blood going."

 _"_ _She looks like Lucas," Riley smiled as she watched them hook Summer up to oxygen before moving her from the OR._

 _"_ _That nose is all yours, though," Blake snorted, as they followed along behind the baby._

 _"_ _She's going to be okay, right?" Riley enquired, looking at him for answers._

 _"_ _She's a lot better off then you are, right now," Blake said, stopping her at the doors to the NICU._

 _"_ _We should stay with her," Riley insisted, trying to get passed him._

 _"_ _We need to talk first," Blake informed her, leading her down the hallway and to a set of chairs, "It's time to let go, Riley."_

 _"_ _Let go of what?" Riley asked, wrapping her arms around herself as she suddenly became cold._

 _"_ _You can't change the past, you can't relive it, or recapture it. The past is written in stone. You and Lucas broke up, he got engaged to Maya, I died," he listed._

 _"_ _I didn't tell you any of those things," Riley pointed out, looking up at him in surprise._

 _"_ _I've been watching and paying attention," Blake assured her, "You've probably permanently stained the wood in your office and those rugs are a safety hazard. Will you please wash the blood off the floors?"_

 _"_ _Why did you do it?" Riley questioned, staring at him intently._

 _"_ _I couldn't save my sister, I spent my entire life blaming myself for not knowing how to save her. I dedicated my life to trying to save people because I wanted to try and make up for it somehow. You're my family, Riley, you're my sister. There wasn't an option not to walk into that room and try to save you. It was that action that helped me to finally let go of all the guilt."_

 _"_ _I miss you," Riley informed him._

 _"_ _I haven't gone anywhere," Blake promised her, "But you have to make room in your life for all of the important people and experiences that are headed your way."_

 _"_ _Those dreams that I've been having," Riley trailed off, as things started to fall into place._

 _"_ _They're one set of possibilities for the future. Some of it will happen, some of it won't, but whatever future you decide to build for yourself can't be based off of everything that you're trying to hold onto and everything that you can't let go of."_

 _"_ _I can't lose Lucas again," Riley said, her eyes moving to the floor._

 _"_ _You were brought to Sunbreak for a reason, you came into my life and Roy's and Hailey's because we needed you. You can leave, if you want to, but you need to be sure that your work is done, when you do. There are people who are counting on you."_

Maya couldn't breath as she watched them wheel Riley through the OR doors and left her on the other side of the red line. That was her best friend in the entire world. Riley was a permanent part of her life and she was supposed to continue to be there.

"Hey, what's going on?" Josh questioned, stopping in front of her, "The nurses said that you needed someone."

"Riley's going into emergency surgery, there was so much blood," Maya rambled, feeling herself get lost in the shock. She was lightheaded and she felt herself swaying, until Josh wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"You really think that Riley's going to stop fighting when she's so close to having everything that she's ever wanted?" Josh asked, rubbing her back.

"She's been fighting for such a long time, what if she's tired?" Maya returned, voicing her fears and burying herself into his shoulder. She could feel from the way that he was trembling that he was scared too, but he was being strong for her and she loved him for it.

"Riley doesn't stop fighting and she doesn't give up," Josh promised her, "You should come hold, Noah, it will make you feel better."

"I don't want to let go of you," Maya admitted, wondering if she would regret being vulnerable when this crisis had passed.

"Haven't you figured it out, yet?" Josh asked, his voice choked with emotion, "You might be the only mistake that I haven't made. I'm not going anywhere."

 _"_ _We should go to the nursery," Blake suggested, standing up._

 _"_ _Summer's going to be in the NICU and I doubt that Lucas has let them take Mathew away," Riley pointed out, as she fell into step beside him._

 _"_ _We're not going to see them," Blake replied, turning down another hallway and pausing just outside of the window._

 _"_ _I don't understand," Riley admitted, as she found herself looking at someone's front yard, instead of the bassinets of newborns._

 _"_ _There's going to be a day when you lose faith and I want you to remember that there's someone waiting for you," Blake said, gesturing to the brunette girl who was running through the sprinklers in the front yard. She looked young, but as she turned in their direction, Riley gasped as she realized that the girl looked exactly like her._

 _"_ _That's not me," Riley felt the need to clarify, pressing her hands to the glass._

 _"_ _No, that's your daughter and it's going to take a fight to get her here, but she's going to do amazing things, Riley."_

"Lucas," Lydia found him in the hallway, holding his son. She wasn't entirely sure what he had been updated on, but she bunched her scrub cap in her hand and sunk down next to him.

"How are they?" he asked, his voice filled with emotion.

"Your daughter is on oxygen, we had a little bit of trouble convincing her to breath when she was born, but she's going to be just fine," Lydia offered, biting her lip.

"And Riley?"

"We stopped the bleeding, her heart stopped for about three minutes, but we managed to get it started again. She's stable, we're just waiting for her to wake up," Lydia said, reaching out to squeeze his hand.

"Thank you," Lucas whispered, bending forward as his entire body began to shake with sobs.

"We haven't gotten passed all of the hurdles, yet, but I have a good feeling. Riley's a fighter and we're going to get through this," Lydia promised, tears filling her own eyes as she let her relief takeover.

 _"_ _It's time for me to go back, isn't it?" Riley said, feeling a strange pull that wanted to take her away from the scene in the window._

 _"_ _Just about," Blake agreed, pulling her into a hug._

 _"_ _It's going to be awhile before I see you again," Riley sighed, wishing that she could hold onto him a little longer._

 _"_ _If it is, then you're just not looking hard enough," Blake informed her, pulling away._

 _"_ _I'm supposed to go that way," Riley said, gesturing to the pull that was coming from down the hall._

 _"_ _There's one more thing that I need you to know before we get you back," Blake stopped her._

 _"_ _Besides to let things go and not to give up?"_

 _"_ _I know that you've been looking for someone to take my place at the practice," Blake admitted, "And I figured that it was only fair that I got a say in who gets to replace me."_

 _"_ _I don't like any of the candidates that we've seen," Riley informed him, folding her arms._

 _"_ _I'm sending someone, she needs a Riley Mathews' in her life," Blake smiled._

 _"_ _How will I know which one is her?"_

 _"_ _You'll know," Blake promised, as the halls around her started to fade._

"Riles?" a voice cut through the darkness and she found herself fighting to get her eyes open. Her body was sore and she felt as though she had become incredibly heavy, "I didn't leave and you don't get to leave me. I will never forgive you if I have to move to the middle of nowhere to raise your children with Ranger Rick."

"Hey," Josh's voice complained.

"You know that she would have stayed in New York to help you out if I had died," Maya pointed out.

"But I was never in danger of marrying Riley," Josh pointed out and someone in the room made a grossed out sound.

"You would come with me, wouldn't you?" Maya questioned, her voice sounding oddly vulnerable.

"Yes, Miss Hart, I would follow you to the middle of nowhere," Josh promised.

"Isn't there a rule against flirting over someone who is recovering from surgery?" Farkle's voice questioned.

"If there is, Riley's going to have to wake up and chew me out for it," Maya said and Riley could feel Maya's best friend ring on her wrist, where Maya was holding onto her.

"Visiting hours are just about over," Lydia cut in, her voice drifting from where Riley guessed the door was.

"We'll be back tomorrow, Riles," Farkle promised and Riley felt several people press kisses to her forehead before feet started to drift out of the room.

"They're gone, now," Lucas's voice took over and Riley felt the bed dip as he sat down right next to her.

"They don't sound overly concerned," Riley groaned, the words sounding strange as her voice strained from disuse.

"They know that you're not going to leave us," Lucas replied, twining his fingers with hers.

"Where are our children?" Riley questioned, still unable to bring herself to open her eyes.

"Right next to you. Your family is very annoyed because I won't let anyone hold them until you get a chance to," Lucas informed her.

"I did go through an awful lot to get them here," Riley smiled.

"I think maybe we should give it some time before we try for the next one," Lucas suggested casually and Riley let out a laugh. It hurt.

"You're already planning for another child?" Riley questioned.

"I'm planning for an entire life," Lucas promised her, "In fact, I have a surprise for you, if you'll open your eyes."

"If you try to propose to me when I'm recovering from emergency surgery in a hospital, I will say no," Riley warned him.

"Really?" Lucas asked, his voice doubting her resolve.

"Well, no, but I'll never forgive you for it," Riley replied.

"That's not your surprise," Lucas assured her.

"You didn't buy us another house, did you?" Riley groaned.

"I guess you'll just have to open your eyes and see," Lucas suggested and Riley reluctantly complied, closing her eyes again when the light hit them. She blinked several times and her eyes slowly adjusted.

"You brought me a bundle of papers," Riley questioned, losing interest and turning her attention to the basinets that were positioned on the other side of her bed.

"They're pictures of the house that I bought," Lucas corrected her, handing her the bundle before he moved around the bed to grab Summer. He helped position the baby in Riley's arms and for a minute the pictures were forgotten.

"I'm sorry that I didn't include you in the decision for her name," Riley apologized, smiling down at the baby. Summer opened her eyes and Riley's smile widened as she took in the green eyes that were entirely Lucas.

"You know; I knew it was perfect the minute that I saw her. Summers have always kind of been our thing," Lucas said, looking at them with love shining in his eyes.

Riley picked up the bundle of pictures and slowly started flipping through them. The house had hardwood floors and the kitchen was updated with stainless steel appliances. The bedrooms were a good size and she found herself pausing as she took in one of the pictures.

"It has a bay window," Riley said, looking up at him in awe.

"I thought that you might appreciate that," Lucas said, grabbing a picture from the back of the bundle and showing it to her, "The yard has plenty of room for the kids to play and we could get a couple of horses. Look at the porch, Riles, can't you just see us sitting there for the rest of our lives."

Riley paused as she looked at the view of the front of the house. There was something familiar about it and it took her a minute to place it without the sprinklers running and the little girl playing in the yard.

"What do we do about the ranch?" Riley asked, looking up at him.

"We could rent it," Lucas suggested, picking up Mathew and sliding into the spot next to her, "Farkle actually offered to buy it."

"Why would he do that?" Riley questioned, looking at Lucas in confusion.

"Why does he do anything, Riley?" Lucas paused and Riley could see a number of insecurities play out across his face, "To make you happy."

Riley was relieved when she was finally released from the hospital. She had Zay smuggling her decent food, but her hospital gown was giving her a rash and her bed wasn't very comfortable. She was ready to take her babies and get them home.

"So, my parents are going to stay with Roy, Farkle's going to move into the carriage house, and we're," Riley trailed off as she tried to remember all of the plans that people had been throwing at her the last few days.

"I've gotten most of our things packed up and sent over to the house. Your father and I set up the nursery last night and Josh set up our bed," Lucas explained, glancing at her before he returned his attention to the road.

"Are Maya and Josh staying with us?" Riley questioned.

"And Zay, but they're all on air mattresses," Lucas replied.

"And did they say when they're all going home?" Riley pressed, trying not to feel overwhelmed.

"No," Lucas answered and his voice mirrored her own feelings.

"How many air mattresses did you set up, out of curiosity?" Riley pressed, glancing at their children in the back seat, so that he couldn't read what she was really asking.

"I didn't set up any of them, I have no desire to know anything about any sleeping arrangements, besides yours, mine and our children," Lucas informed her.

"Because it bothers you?"

"Because it's weird," Lucas corrected her.

"If I had died," Riley trailed off.

"I wouldn't have married Maya. I promise that I've learned my lesson when it comes to marriages of convenience," Lucas assured her, reaching out and grabbing her hand.

"We're going to say something to Josh and Maya about _sleeping_ together in our house, right?" Riley changed the subject.

"I wasn't planning on it," Lucas said, his discomfort showing in the way his shoulders tense.

"I just don't think that anyone should _sleep_ in our house before we do," Riley pointed out.

"How exactly do you plan on enforcing that?"

"This is weird, Riles," Maya informed her as she climbed into bed next to Riley. Riley was reading a parenting book and glanced up from the paragraph that she was highlighting.

"You have experience with taking care of a baby on your own, I want you to train me in your ways," Riley lied, glancing at the bassinets that the twins were currently sleeping in. Noah was in with Josh and Lucas, neither Maya nor Riley had thought to ask about their sleeping situation, but Riley had a feeling that someone was sleeping on the floor.

"I would think that you would want to spend your first night in your new house with your," Maya trailed off and Riley could tell she was trying to come up with what Lucas was to Riley.

"Boyfriend?" Riley suggested and Maya frowned, "Life partner?"

"I was thinking Sweetheart, but that's totally high school, isn't it?" Maya complained.

"Speaking of labels."

"Josh and I, aren't official or anything," Maya replied, instantly catching on to what Riley wanted to know, "There's no need to start calling me aunt, yet."

"But you think that things are going to work out?' Riley pressed, smiling.

"I have hope."

When Riley woke up to feed one of the babies, she was surprised to find that she was sandwiched in the middle of the bed. At some point, Lucas had ended up on one of Riley's sides and Maya was still curled up on the other. It seemed like a pretty good analogy for her life.

"Lucas, you need to go get the baby" Riley said, smacking his chest as she listened to one of their children talk to themselves.

"Morning, Riles," Farkle greeted her, entering the bedroom with a tray of food. He set it on a pile of boxes and went to go retrieve the baby from the bassinet.

"How did you even get in here?" Riley questioned, sitting up and taking Mathew from Farkle. It seemed that Summer liked sleeping almost as much as her father.

"I have a key," Farkle shrugged, tossing Riley her breastfeeding cover and moving the food over to the bed.

"I don't even have a key," Riley complained, situating the baby and grabbing a piece of sliced apple off of the plate.

"That's because you left it at the carriage house," Farkle replied, setting the key onto her tray.

"You should keep it," Riley decided, "This wouldn't be home, without you."

"You probably shouldn't tell Maya, but I may have caught Josh looking at local real-estate," Farkle informed her, lowering his voice as they both glanced at the sleeping blonde.

"Life's kind of amazing, isn't it?" Riley smiled.

Riley spent a week in the house before she knew that she needed to go and visit her office. Her dreams were filled with Blake and she knew that it was time to get the bloodstains out of the hardwood. She'd armed herself with a number of cleaners and assured Lucas that she would be back in time to feed the babies. There were enough people at the house that she was pretty confident they could handle anything that came up, anyway.

"Hi," someone greeted her, as she moved over to unlock the practice door.

"Our office hours are over for the day, is everything okay?" Riley questioned. The girl looked young, maybe a few years older than Hailey. She had long, red hair and blue eyes that were brought out by the blue shirt that she was wearing.

"I'm actually here to apply for the job," the woman informed her, looking uncertain.

"I think there's an application inside," Riley offered, flipping on the lights and leaving the door open so that the girl could follow along behind her, "I'm Doctor Riley Mathews."

"Jennifer Barlow," the girl introduced herself, following Riley to the reception desk.

"Do you have any experience with this kind of job?" Riley asked, flipping through the drawers as she tried to figure out what Roy had done with the applications.

"I'm a medical assistant, I thought I was going to go into nursing for a while, but life had some other ideas," Jennifer said, biting her lip.

"I'm so sorry, I can't actually find what they've done with the applications. I'm currently on maternity leave, but if you want to come back in the next few days," Riley suggested, giving up.

"I can do that," Jennifer agreed, smiling.

"Things have been crazy since we lost our previous receptionist. I can't even find the order forms," Riley admitted, leaning against the desk.

"These wouldn't happen to be them?" Jennifer asked, pulling a stack of papers from one of the wire baskets that were sitting on the desk.

"They are; how did you even find them?" Riley questioned, looking at her incredulously.

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, but this place looks exactly like the place that I've been dreaming about. That sounds completely crazy, doesn't it?" Jennifer looked at Riley apprehensively.

"We like crazy and unexplainable here."

Riley set down the bucket of cleaning solution and sunk down onto her knees. She moved the carpet out of the entry to her office and dipped her sponge in the solution before she ran it over the floor. The blood slowly came out of the hardwood, but Riley could still feel Blake.

"I got the hint about Jennifer. It was a little blunt, wasn't it? Aren't angels supposed to be subtle," Riley pointed out, laughing as she moved on to the next section of flooring.

Riley's parents were the first to head home and while Riley had enjoyed spending time with them and seeing their relationship improve with Lucas, she was also ready for her life to go back to some degree of normal. Zay had moved into the carriage house with Farkle, claiming that he was tired of being surrounded by couples and Roy's mood drastically improved when he got the house to himself. Enough so, that he approved Riley's decision for a new receptionist.

"She's too young for you," Riley commented, as she leaned against the hood of the purple hearse with Maya and Farkle. The babies were at home with Josh and Lucas.

"What is too young, Riles?" Maya pointed out, "She's cute and she keeps looking at him, too."

"She's twenty-five," Farkle offered, "And neither of us is looking at the other."

"Whatever you say," Maya snorted, taking another bite of her shake.

"I haven't said anything about Josh or Lucas," Farkle pointed out, glancing between the two of them.

"That's because Josh and I are taking things slow," Maya offered, loftily.

"You have a baby together," Riley snorted and Maya shot her a glare.

"You're one to talk," Maya retorted, "What's going on with you and your life partner."

"We're sleep deprived and we have these houseguests, who make it really difficult to talk about the future," Riley replied.

"I could say something," Farkle suggested.

"I've already said multiple things, but Huckleberry refuses to talk. You would think that being Riley's best friend would, at least, be good enough so that he would show me the ring," Maya complained.

"I've seen the ring," Farkle informed them.

"And?" Maya pressed, looking at him expectantly.

"I've been sworn to secrecy," Farkle replied, looking uncomfortable under their gazes.

"Doesn't matter, we already have the most important rings, anyway," Maya shrugged, holding hers up in the sunlight.

"Peaches, if Lucas never proposes to me, will you be my platonic life partner," Riley asked, holding hers up, as well.

"Always," Maya promised.

 **We just have the epilogue left! Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and been a part of this journey with me! I've gotten a better response to this story then what I even thought possible.**

 **In other news, Part 2 was really good. I'm excited to see what happens next and I would love to hear what you think. Thanks again!**


	27. Adventure of a Lifetime

_Dear Lucas,_

 _I know that you're mad at me. I can hear you pacing the hallway upstairs and I know that you only get this restless when something is really bothering you. You should know that it bothers me, too. We've been together long enough that your emotions feel like my own._

"Riley Mathews and Lucas Friar are pleased to announce the birth of their son, Mathew Blake Friar, and daughter, Summer Nicole Friar, on August 7," Farkle paused in his reading to look up at Riley.

"What?" Riley questioned.

"Nothing, did Maya take the family picture?" Farkle questioned, his face unreadable.

"Yeah, I thought it was nice. Do you think it's too much?" Riley pressed, holding up the print-out of the cards that they were getting ready to mail.

"No, you guys look nice together. You guys fit," Farkle admitted, pursing his lips.

"I appreciate your input," Riley admitted, getting up from the kitchen table that was staying with the carriage house. It was strange seeing Farkle's and Zay's things dominating the space that had once been hers. They'd hung a sheet down the middle, to give them each their own section, but strangely it seemed to be working out.

"I'll help you get your things out to the car," Zay suggested, from where he had been experimenting with something gooey in the kitchen. It was the strangest shade of purple, which actually made Riley want to try it. She figured she should probably get out before she gave in to temptation.

"Thanks, Lucas was going to come help, but he's finishing up the paperwork to take over Jack's practice," Riley explained, tucking the card into her pocket.

"The kids with him?" Zay questioned, as he grabbed one of the two remaining boxes and followed Riley out to her car. Farkle made no move to follow them and Riley knew that there was something wrong, but didn't know how hard to push.

"With Maya, actually, she's heading back to New York with Josh and Noah in the morning," Riley explained, popping the trunk and stepping aside as Zay loaded her things in the back.

"It's been nice havin' all of us together again," Zay commented, leaning against the back of her car as he turned to talk to her.

"Yeah, it has," Riley agreed, noticing the food stains that covered the front of Zay's shirt.

"Listen, Sugar, you know I love you, but I think it might be good to give Farkle some space," Zay suggested, his voice taking on a rare tone of seriousness.

"How much space?" Riley asked, knowing that he was right.

"How much space did you need when Lucas was with Maya?" Zay returned and she nodded once.

"You're a good friend, Zay," Riley sighed, pulling him into a hug.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad that you and Lucas ended up together," he offered.

"I appreciate that. I'll see you around?"

"That's a pretty safe bet," Zay promised, waving as she made her way to the driver's seat of the car.

It was Lydia's last day at the practice before she needed to get back to LA, so Riley stopped at the bakery to pick up a custom cake that she had ordered the week before. She was supposed to be meeting Lucas for a late lunch to celebrate his new practice and she kept glancing at the clock to try and keep track of the time.

She dialed his number, as she got out of the car and moved towards the front door.

"Hey, Riles," Lucas answered and an automatic smile pulled across her face.

"Hi," Riley returned, fondly, "Doctor Friar."

"It feels surreal, doesn't it?" Lucas asked.

"It does. So, I need to stop at the practice and say goodbye to Lydia. Can I meet you in an hour?" Riley suggested, pushing their initial meeting time back.

"I'll grab the food," Lucas agreed.

"Thanks, I love you."

"I love you, too," he returned before she ended the call.

"What's with the goat?" Riley questioned, as she pulled the door open and nearly dropped the cake.

"It was sent here this morning," Jennifer informed Riley, "Lydia said she would take care of it."

"How many goats did Blake need?" Riley asked, setting the cake on the reception desk.

"This isn't a new goat," Lydia replied, coming out of Roy's office, "Apparently dorm rooms and goats, don't mix."

"Hailey took the goat to New York with her?" Riley questioned, groaning as she leaned her head against the counter.

"I didn't ask for all of the details, I feel it's best to maintain plausible deniability in these situations," Lydia shrugged, pausing to pet the goat.

"So, what are we supposed to do with it, now?" Jennifer spoke up, looking uncertain about the farm animal.

"Well, Hailey has requested that Chelsea be given to Farkle to watch for the time being. Apparently the two of them had a bond and Hailey thinks that they need each other," Lydia explained, standing up.

"They named her Chelsea?" Riley questioned, looking at the goat with newfound interest.

"I'll drop her off at the carriage house when I head home," Lydia assured them, "Is that for me?"

"Yeah, we're going to miss you," Riley said, pulling off the lid of the cake.

"Let me go wash my hands and we can cut it," Lydia suggested, disappearing into one of the exam rooms.

"You're not a big fan of livestock?" Riley questioned.

"I'm a city girl," Jennifer offered, "This is my first time being anywhere like this."

"There's a learning curve," Riley laughed, "Where are you from?"

"My family moved around a lot when I was a kid. My father was the lead guitarist in a band and when he decided to step back from that, he managed my sister, Olivia's, career. She has an incredible voice and she acts," Jennifer explained.

"Are you musically inclined?" Riley asked, sensing that she had hit a sensitive subject and trying to deviate from it.

"Not like Olivia, I played piano for a while, but I gave it up when I was in college. I figured, I would focus on a career that was a little more stable," Jennifer said, looking uncomfortable.

"My best friend's an artist and I could never compete," Riley offered, wondering what was taking Lydia so long.

"I don't mean to sound bitter, I love my family and I'm proud of everything that Olivia's accomplished. We're just a little estranged at the moment," Jennifer shrugged it off.

"Roy, get out here for cake," Lydia's voice called as she returned to the main reception area, keeping Riley from trying to form any kind of answer.

"I thought we were trying to be healthy," Roy complained, leaving his office and joining them at the front desk.

"It's okay to cheat every once in a while," Lydia informed him, using the paper plates and silverware that she had grabbed from the back room.

"I actually have to get going, but it's been wonderful having you here," Riley pulled Lydia into a hug.

"You take care of those beautiful babies," Lydia returned and if Riley hadn't been facing Jennifer she wouldn't have noticed the way the other woman tensed.

"I will, thank you for everything," Riley smiled, pulling away and grabbing her keys out of her pocket.

Lucas had given her the address of the clinic where he would be working out of. Most of his clients would require house calls, but he insisted that he still needed a physical work location. Riley texted Maya to check in on her children before she made her way to the address that Lucas had given her. She'd been spoiled with having family around and she wasn't sure what she was going to do when everyone had to get back to work. There was a daycare on main street, but she wasn't ready to trust her children with people she hadn't known most of her life, yet.

She pulled into the parking lot and had to admit that it was a nice location. Lucas had more parking then what she had at the practice and the building didn't look as old. Riley slowly got out of the car and smiled as she saw that Lucas's name had been painted on the front door.

"You're early," Lucas informed her, as she opened the door and walked in.

"I'm trying to lose the baby weight and I needed to get out before temptation became too much," Riley informed him, taking in how handsome he looked in his lab coat. He had several bags of food sitting on his reception desk and he was leaning against the edge as he took everything in.

"You look fine, Riles," Lucas assured her as she closed the distance and took up position next to him.

"I still don't fit into any of my clothes and Maya looks like she never had a baby in the first place," Riley pointed out.

"You were carrying two babies, Maya only had to carry one," Lucas reminded her, grabbing the bags of food and gesturing for her to follow him.

"I know, I would just like to look like me again," Riley sighed.

"You still look like you to me. You're even more beautiful than the day that I met you," Lucas assured her, pausing outside of a door as he kissed her.

"You're right, I was pretty when I met you," Riley snorted as they pulled away.

"And I was a stupid teenage boy, who said and did plenty of things that he now regrets," Lucas offered and Riley let out a laugh, "Will you wait outside for a minute?"

"Why?" Riley asked, folding her arms.

"I just need a minute to make sure that everything is ready," Lucas said, easing the door open just enough that he could slip in without her seeing anything.

"You know this is just lunch, right?" Riley called through the door.

"It's not just lunch, it's the first time we've been alone together since we had the twins and it's probably the last time for a while," Lucas called back.

Riley tapped her foot as she waited and several minutes later he pulled the door open. The room was definitely a storage room, but Lucas had shoved a number of boxes against the walls, so that he could make room for a blanket. Black drapes covered the windows and glowing orbs that hung from the ceiling were the only things giving the room light. Their food was spread out across the floor and even though it was simple, the effort left Riley speechless.

"You know; we could have actually had a picnic outside," Riley laughed, as they finished eating and Lucas cleared their food.

"We could have, but unfortunately the stars wouldn't cooperate," Lucas said and Riley gave him a puzzled look, "Lay down with me for a minute."

Riley turned and stretched out next to him, staring up at the ceiling, and the orbs of light took on an entirely different meaning as she realized that he had set up an entire solar system. The same plastic stars that had lined the ceiling of the carriage house, were arranged above their head and it took Riley several minutes to realize that they spelled out, "Riley and Lucas."

"It's beautiful," Riley breathed, tears filling her eyes as she thought of the effort that he must have gone to in trying to set everything up.

"I know this is forever ago, but do you remember my essay on evolution?" Lucas asked and Riley searched through her memories.

"You said that it didn't rule out, 'A guiding hand that has your best interest at heart,'" Riley replied, wondering what he was getting at.

"I don't believe in chance. I believe that everything has a purpose and I believe that there was a reason you fell into my lap on the subway. I believe that there was a reason that we were both even in the same subway car that day. You changed my life, Riley, you helped me to want to be a better person then who I was. I wouldn't be who I am today if you weren't a part of my life."

"I'm a better person when I'm with you, too. I feel safe being myself around you," Riley said, when he didn't continue.

"I know that the universe has taken us on a crazy journey, but we're finally here. There's still plenty of obstacles, but none of them are going to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you. Riley Mathews, you're it for me, and I love you more than I ever thought it was humanly possible to love someone. Will you do me the honor of spending a lifetime with me and becoming my wife?"

Riley looked over at him and found that he was holding a ring between the two of them. It was gold with a single, round, ruby in the center and a web of diamonds surrounding it and spreading down the band. And somehow, she instinctively knew why he had chosen it.

"It's Pluto," Riley said, tears running down her face.

"If there's one thing that I believe in more than everything else; it's you and me," he said, sitting up.

"Lucas," Riley groaned, as a thousand emotions filtered through her. She wanted to say yes and she wanted to feel like this was the right thing to do, but somehow she just didn't, "I love you."

"But?" Lucas asked and she forced herself to look at the hurt that was covering his face.

"But I'm not ready. I just got used to being a mother, we bought a house, and we're still trying to adjust to living together. This is too much, too soon," Riley explained, sitting up so that they were facing each other.

"We can have a long engagement, Riles, I'm not looking to set a date right now," Lucas informed her, the frustration in his voice making her want to just give in.

"Farkle is my best friend, he's one of my oldest friends and I can't do this to him," Riley stated, folding her arms. Zay had reminded her of the pain of seeing Lucas and Maya together, just that morning and it suddenly felt fresh in her heart. She couldn't put Farkle through what she had been through.

"Farkle knows that I'm proposing to you," Lucas offered.

"We're living together, we have the twins together, you know how much I care about you. Why do we have to change things?"

Lucas looked away from her and Riley felt her heart shattering into a million pieces. It didn't help that her phone chose that moment to ring.

"You should answer it," Lucas suggested, getting up from the floor.

"No, I'm not going to," Riley replied, following after him, "We're not done."

"That sounded pretty final, Riley," Lucas informed her as she ignored the call and shoved her phone back into her pocket.

"It wasn't final, it was me saying that I need some time to process everything," Riley insisted, trying to make him understand. Her phone went off again and she watched as a dozen emotions flashed across his face.

"Answer it," Lucas said, his voice going quiet.

Tears ran down her face as she answered the phone and held it up to her ear, "Hello?"

"Doctor Mathews, it's Jennifer. I think something might be wrong, can you meet me at the practice?"

"Yeah," Riley looked at Lucas, feeling pulled between her job and her future, "I'll be right there."

"I'll see you at home," Lucas looked at the ground, refusing to meet her gaze.

"Will you be there?" Riley questioned, scared of the answer.

"I'm really mad at you; irrationally mad at you, but, Riley, I'm not going anywhere," he assured her.

"I'm sorry," Riley said, wishing that he could feel how much she meant those words.

"I love you," Lucas looked up at her, "Go save lives."

She nodded once and left the building, leaving half of herself behind.

 _Lucas,_

 _You told me a lot of things that you believe in and I love that I believe most of those same things, but, Lucas, there's something else that I believe in: timing. I believe that you're my future and that we will get a lifetime together, but our timing is off._

She barely remembered the drive from Lucas's practice to her own. It probably wasn't her safest driving, considering she could barely see through the tears that were openly running down her face. She parked outside and wiped furiously at the tears as she tried to get ahold of herself. She needed to go in and be professional.

It took her several minutes to get herself under control and she blotted at her smeared makeup with a napkin that she found in the center console. Her eyes were still red and puffy, but there wasn't much else she could do, so she climbed out of the car and prepared herself to handle whatever emergency came next.

When she entered, Jennifer was pacing frantically across the room. Riley could see the worry that was etched in her face, along with a dozen other emotions that Riley couldn't quite put a name to. Seeing someone else in need was enough to force her own problems from her mind and she found her doctor-mode slamming into place.

"What's wrong?" Riley asked, keeping her voice calm.

"I'm pregnant," Jennifer admitted, tears filling her eyes, as she stopped to look at Riley, "Or at least I was. Almost seven weeks and I just started bleeding."

"Spotting is normal, it doesn't always mean anything," Riley assured her, trying not to get caught up in how similar this situation, suddenly, felt to her own miscarriage.

"You don't understand; I had doubts about this pregnancy. I wasn't excited to be pregnant, I hoped that it would go away," Jennifer rambled, "My parents were so disappointed in me for getting pregnant."

"Jennifer," Riley stopped her, closing the distance between them and grabbing the younger girl's arms, "We don't know that anything is wrong. I need you to take a deep breath and stop panicking."

"I don't have anyone, I don't know what to do," Jennifer said, collapsing into Riley's arms and Riley patted her back.

"We're going to get you into an exam room and I'll do an ultrasound. If there's something wrong, we'll find out," Riley reassured her, keeping her voice even.

"And if there is?" Jennifer asked, her face going pale.

"You have me," Riley promised, guiding her into an exam room and turning on the lights.

Jennifer hesitantly sat down on the exam table as Riley turned on the machines and grabbed the gel. Jennifer pulled her shirt up enough that Riley had access to her stomach and Riley found herself praying that nothing was wrong.

"Do you see anything?" Jennifer asked, as Riley moved the wand around her stomach.

"Not yet, but the baby is still pretty small," Riley replied, continuing her search. It was strange finding herself in the same position that Lydia had all those years ago.

"What?" Jennifer questioned when Riley closed her eyes and sucked in a breath.

Riley turned up the sound on the machine and a heartbeat echoed through the room, "That's your baby."

"The baby's fine?" Jennifer questioned, looking at Riley as though she expected Riley to tell her it was a joke.

"Your baby looks and sounds completely healthy. We'll keep an eye on the bleeding, but I think you're fine," Riley said, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you," Jennifer laughed, pulling Riley into a hug.

"I'm going to give you a towel to clean yourself off and then you can meet me out in the reception area," Riley instructed, when she had pulled away.

"Okay," Jennifer agreed, as Riley left the room and closed the door.

Riley sunk into the chair at the reception desk as she tried to wrap her mind around what had just happened.

She found herself looking at the photos that lined Jennifer's desk. They were a recent addition and Riley hadn't been in the office enough to look at them closely. There was a family picture at what looked like Jennifer's graduation, along with a headshot that was signed and framed. There was something incredibly familiar about the girl in the picture and Riley had to blink several times to make sure that it wasn't a signed picture of Maya. They had the same blue eyes and the same long, blonde hair.

"Is that your family?" Riley asked, when Jennifer had left the exam room.

"Yeah, those are my parents and that's my sister, Olivia," Jennifer said, grabbing the photo so that Riley could see it.

"What's your father's name?" Riley asked, as she took in the man in the picture. His hair was a lot shorter then what it had been the only time that Riley had met Kermit and he was wearing a suit, which was one of the reasons that she hadn't automatically picked up on the uncanny resemblance.

"Kermit, Kermit Barlow," she replied.

 _Lucas,_

 _You're one of the few people in this world who I feel like I can tell anything to and I, actually, have a lot to tell you at the moment. I know that you're mad, but I don't know what to do and…._

Riley left the car door open as she raced towards the carriage house and pounded on the door. She could hear the television on and what sounded like a blender, but she continued to hit the door.

"Who's chasing you?" Zay demanded, as he opened the door in an apron.

"Maya has a half-sister," Riley gasped, trying to catch her breath and come up with the words to say.

"Is Katy pregnant?" Farkle asked, from where he appeared over Zay's shoulder.

"It's Kermit's daughter. Jennifer is Maya's half-sister," Riley informed them, her hand covering her mouth as she said the words for the first time.

 _Dear Lucas,_

 _I hope you're paying attention because you told me all about physics, but I want to tell you about hypothermia. Hypothermia starts out as nothing. Your body temperature drops a couple of degrees, you become confused, and tired. Your body starts to devote its energy to the core functions. Without treatment, your brain will stop functioning, your heart will slow down, and eventually you'll die. That's how it felt when you were with Maya, that's how it felt when I lost our baby._

 _Having the twins and being with you these last few months helped me to finally feel like I was alive again. Like I was finally starting to get warm and regain feeling in the parts of me that I thought were going to be numb forever. I'm getting there, Lucas. I'm forgiving you (and me) for the mistakes that we've made over the years that we've been a part of each other's lives and I'm healing, but I'm just not there, yet._

 _We can step around the issue and pretend that it isn't there, but I don't believe that Farkle's feelings towards me are entirely platonic. He's your best friend and he's mine, too, and I want him to be a part of our lives. I don't want him to run across the country trying to get away from the feeling of slowly freezing to death. So, I want to give him some time and space to heal before we force anything else on him._

 _I'm going to say yes. I believe in Pluto, but more than that, I believe in you. I trust you with my heart and I know that there's never going to be anyone else that I want to grow old with, as badly as I want that with you. So, I guess, I'm just asking you to wait and to believe a little longer that the stars are going to align for us. After all, our names are written in them._

 _Lucas, we defy all the laws of physics and of gravity, but, now, I'm asking you to put the Law of Timing to the test. I'm asking you to have patience and to know that I'm not going anywhere, either. I love you._

 _Always Yours,_

 _Riley_

Riley looked at the final draft of her letter, gathering the discarded ones and tossing them into the garbage. She could still hear Lucas pacing upstairs and Maya and Josh had been asleep by the time she had gotten home. They had an early flight the next morning and she still hadn't figured out how or even if she should break the news to Maya.

Riley moved towards the stairs, her letter clutched in her hands. She stopped outside of the nursery where Maya had put the twins to sleep. They were tiny and perfect and they were hers.

And, somehow, she knew that everything was going to work out. She had hope.

 **A huge thanks to everyone who's stuck with me through this story. Your support and encouragement were a huge part of how I managed a 203 word-document page story in a little over a month. I have a feeling that some of you are going to be annoyed with my ending, but as hard as I tried to make Riley accept that proposal, she just wouldn't do it. This is not the end, I have a sequel planned and mostly plotted out, it will be called, "Laws of Timing," and pick up shortly after this one. As a side note, I would love to hear what you would like to see happen in the sequel(there will be multiple engagements and weddings.)**

 **I'm not sure when the sequel will be up because I'm pulling from some of the things that happen in, "Heat Stroke," with Maya and her relationship with her father and I don't want to give anything away. Heat Stroke will probably be around ten chapters, no more than fifteen. I'm also considering setting up the formatting a little bit differently for, "Laws of Timing," and setting up each chapter or couple of chapters like an episode and jumping between points of view. Let me know what you think.**

 **Some of you noticed that each chapter is named after a song and I just wanted to list the songs and artists here because I know that there are multiple songs that have some of the same names:**

 **Stone Cold-Demi Lovato**

 **Still Here-Digital Daggers**

 **Beating Heart-Ellie Goulding**

 **Never Forget You-Zara Larsson**

 **Don't Let Me Down-Chainsmokers**

 **Lay Your Head Down-Peter Bradley Adams**

 **Who Knew-Pink**

 **Sound of Your Heart-Shawn Hook**

 **Things we lost in the Fire-Bastille**

 **Riverside-Agnes Obel**

 **House of Memories-Panic at the Disco**

 **Letters from the Sky-Civil Twilight**

 **I Wouldn't Mind-He is We**

 **Before the Worst-The Script**

 **Enough to Let Me Go-Switchfoot**

 **Far Away-Nickelback**

 **Somebody to Die For-Hurts**

 **Afire Love-Ed Sheeran**

 **It's All Over But The Crying-Garbage**

 **Stand By You-Rachel Platten**

 **One Call Away-Charlie Puth**

 **Between Us-Peter Bradley Adams**

 **You For Me-Terra Naomi**

 **In My Veins-Andrew Belle**

 **See You Again(without the rap)-Charlie Puth**

 **All Our Lives-Andrew McMahon**

 **Adventure of a Lifetime-Coldplay**

 **Thanks again to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, etc. You guys really are amazing! Last chance to review for this story!**


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